"Interestingly, it is a disprportionate amount of the sons and daughters of the poor and disenfranchised that bear the burden of military service. " Lakeguy, Not really sure where you're going with that. If you're implying that the US Army is taking advantage of the lower class by enticing inner-city high school dropouts to join their service (no GED required), I'd have to disagree. I don't think that taking a kid off the streets, replacing his .22 pistol and pants around his knees with an M-16A4 and BDUs and paying him $34,000 a year (or over $40k for an E-2 in a combat zone) is a bad thing. Of course when we lower the recruiting standards the end result is a sub-standard armed force, but in the fifth year of the Iraq war, with the US Army running on empty for the past two years, that's what it's come to. Say the kid decides it's not a bad career, and stays in beyond his initial 4-year obligation. At that point he's a sergeant (E-5) making $45k a year (not counting deployment pay/re-enlistment bonuses). While he's on active duty he finishes his GED, and starts taking a few college courses, and maintains a 3.0 average (being reimbursed for 75% of the fees by the government WITHOUT using his GI bill). He applies for a commissioning program, and gets his degree (using the GI bill, while being paid full time as a sergeant during college). Eight to ten years into it he becomes a lieutenant, and continues the promotions through the officer ranks, making a salary his boys back on the block could never dream of. At around 15-18 years the mustang (prior enlisted officer) tops six figures. At 20 years, he retires, pockets the pension, and takes on a secondary career as a civilian government employee for slightly more than his previous salary; he now has medical care and a steady income for life. He buys 30 acres and a few horses in Virginia, puts his kids through Georgetown, and never looks back. Culturally, it's a completely level playing field. Racial or sexual discrimination is absolutely not tolerated (the highly revered CO of the largest Marine Corps Installation on the East Coast is a black female). I can't imagine a better escape from poverty than the US military. All it takes is a strong work ethic, average intelligence, heterosexual orientation, an aversion to narcotics, and an ability to perform while scared out of your mind. Of course, the entire scenario is predicated on the fact he didn't get his legs blown off by an IED in the first year, or shot out of the sky by a shoulder-fired SA-16 in the tenth year. But that's where the love of your country and willingness to sacrifice kicks in--if it's not in you, no amount of money will get you to put yourself in harm's way, especially if you have a family. Here is a link that might be useful: enlisted pay charts

If you're lifting weights 3 times a week, you're most likely building tons of muscle and burning fat. The scale is not an accurate measure because, as we all know, muscle weighs more than fat because it's more dense. Does your gym offer a fitness assessment? Get a body composition test that measures your % body fat. If you keep going to the gym and eating well, I guarantee you that if you go for a retest in a month or two, you'll see results...and good ones. Another good way to measure your progress at home is to record your measurements. Your waist, hips, ribcage (just under breasts), thighs, and upper arms are all good places to track progress (I track all of them in a small notebook). If you think food is your problem (eating too much or even too little, eating the wrong things) I'd strongly recommend tracking your caloric intake (carb, fiber, and fat intake are all good things to track too) in a notebook. Measure your serving sizes out so you know what you're putting in your mouth. Find an interactive website to track your food and exercise (SparkPeople.com is my absolute favorite). I know how frustrating the scale can be. Sometimes it just doesn't move, or it moves 5 pounds either way in a week, or even in a day. The comforting part is that the scale is not the best way to measure your progress. Factors as seemingly unimportant as time of day, how much water you've drank (you actually need MORE to NOT retain water), how much sugar is sitting around your muscles, organs, and tissues, and other finicky details actually can make the scale go up. My advice? Step off of it (at least for a week or two at a time), and pick a better way to track your successes!! Best of luck to you! Here is a link that might be useful: Spark People

I hope there are some parents out there that could help me understand this. We don't understand any of this. Can someone out there help me understand where she may be coming from? Your DIL may be doing this out of spite or some other negative reason. I'm not defending her choices or saying she's right to make the choices she's making. But assuming she has your grandson's best interest at heart, here are some other perspectives from a parent. I've known many shy kids and watched them grow up over the years. Some parents believe their shy child needs more time at home to gain a little maturity. But other parents believe their shy child needs to be in situations where they are a little less sheltered and where they're exposed to other kids and have to learn to connect with other kids. I've seen both approaches be very successful. When my kids were younger I knew several shy children whose parents sent them to daycare or preschool, etc., even when those children had grandparents who wanted to keep them. Another place she may be coming from - I think in many families the mom gets to the point where she feels the need to mark her territory, so to speak, with the grandparents. Just my own opinion, but to me it's always seemed more likely to happen in families where the grandparents spend a lot of time with the grandchildren. My own mother is a wonderful grandma, the best ever, and she adores my kids and they adore her. She lives very close and spends a lot of time with them. My mom is great, but she did at times seem (to me) to think her opinion about what's best for them was equal in weight to mine. I did at one point feel the need to make it clear - my kids, my rules. Anyway, I can see where that situation could be exacerbated in a divorce situation. I know if I was the grandma I would be concerned about losing time with my grandchild, mom is probably concerned about losing time or control, I could see where a mom might want to put a little distance between her child and his grandparents. I think for some parents who divorce it comes as quite a shock after the divorce that they have so little control over their child's environment when the child is with the ex or the ex's family. She doesn't have a relationship with her own family. If she comes from an uninvolved family, she may not value those grandparent ties as much as some people do. If she grew up with uninvolved grandparents, she may not see the value on that close grandparent/grandchild relationship. I don't know what kind of daycare they have picked out, but the day cares around here have some terrific programs. They take kids to amusement parks, water parks, zoos, horseback riding, pools, etc. I know several parents that transitioned from grandparent care for younger children to day care for older children just because of the opportunities for sports and other activities. Just because your grandson is crying now doesn't mean he won't like it by the end of the summer. once school starts they will let him stay with us on a week-end here and there. If your grandson's schedule is anything like our kids' at that age, then I can certainly see why once school starts the parents will only agree to the occasional weekend. At 7 and 8 years old, by the time your grandson gets home from school, has a snack and plays with his friends, does his homework, eats dinner and showers, the day is over. There's not a lot of time during the week. Factor in sports, cub scouts, etc., and there's even less. Particularly in a divorce situation I can see why mom and dad wouldn't want to give up many weekends to grandparents. The good news is that if they actually do divorce, perhaps your son will welcome your help and your company even if your DIL doesn't. Even if your DIL doesn't agree to weekends, hopefully your son will include you when he has custody. If your DIL isn't close to her own family, you may get more time with your grandson than you think. If she works full time, she may need your help when he's sick or she may need help dropping him off or picking him up at sports or camps, etc. Hopefully if your DIL gets some space now, she may come to realize what a treasure she has in you, even if she has divorced your son. Right now she's probably stressed and upset and not thinking clearly, even if she wants the divorce. Having said all that, it does sound like a lot of change for your 7 year old grandson. You're probably right that it would help if he could stick to his old routine of staying with you. I'm so very sorry.

How about getting in a speaker about the affordable health care act? Not someone from an insurance company or political party, but someone from a community center or senior center (not that you're technically seniors) who is a designated "navigator" for the ACA. Everybody talks about the plans and implementation without knowing anything about it. Knowledge is always good! I would also have an art teacher come in and provide each woman with paints, canvas and brush and a subject --- a still life--- and give a rudimentary lesson. You never know who this might spark an interest in, and even for non artistic types it can be illuminating to look at an object and see something one has never seen before--- like negative space, perhaps. Finally, I would welcome a program on Christmas or winter holiday traditions, involving the members themselves. Perhaps they have an interesting religious, cultural or ethnic tradition--- or maybe a family tradition they started themselves. They could bring either a costume or group of ornaments, or music, or a written recipe or something that epitomizes their own family Christmas or Hannukah. People are going to be pulling that stuff out soon anyway :-)