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bigmama_gw

Just a stage

BigMama
20 years ago

I'm going through.....or so all my friends are telling me..they are all so patient and I'm so lucky to have them ..

Well I hope I am over my whiny w(b)itch stage....I have been real depressed and down on myself ....I haven't felt good......some kind of stomach virus, two huge fever blisters on my lip...the stop smoking thing and beating myself up for gaining weight...and of course caused by having to stuff something in my mouth instead of a cigarette..and combined with not being able to get my exercise in because I hurt my back I have done nothing but suck my thumb and feel sorry for myself...to the point of being ridiculous...wahh poor little me...I want my food and cigarettes...

As DH was leaving for work this am I was thinking that he is probably ready to scream with my crappy attitude...but he called a bit ago and said..I'm sorry that you are in such pain but I assure you it will pass and I assure you that I love you even if you are being crabby....I think he actually felt it more than it being anything I actually said or did......he called me three times on his commute to make me know that he was thinking of me and that he understands...He quit smoking 14 years ago and he gained 30 pounds over the next few years so he also knows where I am in that respect too.....Arggggg I hate this feeling....

So I am trying to suck it up and get with the program. I managed to get my exercise done this am for the first time in three or four days so I am feeling good about that.I'm going to go and get showered and spruced up extra special today.....I think being house bound with the weather doesn't help....and the worse part is that I am always just one step away from dissolving into a heap of tears..every thing seems to make me teary...again to the point of being ridiculous.....like I dropped a cookie sheet...wahnn poor little me ..I am going to cry.......

I hope I haven't been too whiny...and that you all will forgive me if I have gotten carried away.

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