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erica1234_gw

Feeling guilt about painting

erica1234
10 years ago

I live in the house my parents built (or rebuilt - there was a frame, roof, and some wood ceiling left) in 1976. Hubby and I put in new kitchen appliaces, a new toilet, and wall paint, but nothing else has been updated since the '76.

Since it's a small house (925 sq ft), I was thinking a nice coat of white paint on the ceilings would really help lighten it up. BUT, my mom spent weeks taking each board down, sanding and stripping 5 layers of paint off, applying poly, and then reinstalling all these ceiling boards. Am I really going to un-do all her hard work? I thought about covering them (tin, beadboard), but hate to lose any amount of height since it's such a small house.

Then I thought maybe new hardware and some white paint on the kitchen cabinets would help lighten it up. I know they'll still look dated, but I'm on a budget. My dad built the kitchen cabinets himself and said "Noooooo! Don't paint those! They're good wood - just restain them".

There are 5 different types of wood and different wood tones going on in the small house and it's driving me nuts. I'm 33 yrs old, but still feeling guilty about this stuff. What is wrong with me? Should I just paint whatever I want??

For the record, my dad lives 2 states away and never travels so it's not likely he'll ever see it and my mom passed away 6 years ago (which probably contributes to my not wanting to change something she worked so hard on).

Comments (39)

  • ineffablespace
    10 years ago

    I would paint the cabinets before I painted the ceiling.

    What does the floor look like? What about the other trim?

    To me those other things would be candidates to change before the ceiling because every house has wood in those areas but very few have wood ceilings.

  • ellendi
    10 years ago

    How sweet of you to still consider your mother's feeling.
    I am wondering though if she would want you to continue to live in a home that is "driving you nuts."
    I would take lots of pictures of the way your home looks now and create an album that would honor your mother's hard work.

    From your photo, the cabinets are in great shape. Staining would help with the orange undertone.

    Only you have the power to not feel guilty about painting.

  • nosoccermom
    10 years ago

    I love your ceiling and definitely wouldn't paint it. I also like your cabinets and would consider new hardware and a different stain before thinking about painting them. Agree to look at floor, trim, wall paint, lighting, etc. before attacking the cabinets and ceiling.
    Can you post more pictures?
    Could you take some cabinet doors off the uppers or insert glass panels?

  • Annie Deighnaugh
    10 years ago

    When I was in high school, I so wanted this coat that was in a boutique store, but we couldn't afford it. My mother took on the challenge and copied the coat and made it for me. She went to the store many times with note pad in hand and tape measure...she studied how it was put together, she found a pattern and altered it. She found fabrics that were perfect for it. She did such a wonderful job of it. I wore it a long time, but then it was out of style. So it sat in my cedar closet for decades. Mom passed away and I still had the coat. When getting ready to move and cleaning stuff out, I came across the coat again. I looked it over...she put so much work into it...the decorative stitches on the hem of the lining, the interfacings...every detail was perfect...a real work of art. I was even more impressed, appreciated her all the more for it, so proud of her accomplishment, and then ... I let it go. It was time.

    When it's time, you'll know.

    In the meantime, how about looking into removable wallpaper....maybe that can be put up for now and taken down later should you choose to go back...

  • sarahmakes6
    10 years ago

    I think your cabinets would look gorgeous in white and I think you might like the ceiling more if you had the contrast. Struggling with the emotions of it makes perfect sense to me.

  • awm03
    10 years ago

    I'm sure you are a fine steward of the family home, but it would be fitting for you to leave your own stamp too.

    The ceiling is fantastic -- gorgeous patina & color. The cabinets could compliment the ceiling better, though. I like blues with that color of brown, so did this mock-up. What do you think?

  • peony4
    10 years ago

    I agree with ellendi--your parents wouldn't want you keeping the space as they had it, just out of guilt.

    Inherited properties can be tricky, trying to honor the past, while updating and personalizing them. But you have the right to make this house your own. If the space is small and feeling closed in, then painting the ceiling would really open the room. (And, then, perhaps the next generation will have the honor of repeating your mother's steps, stripping your paint and restaining, etc. ;-)

    Repeating ellendi's suggestion, take pictures of the way it is now, make a lovely keepsake album, and then put your own stamp on the place.

  • patty_cakes
    10 years ago

    Leave the ceiling as a tribute to your Mom! Paint the cabinets an off white since they're not of sentimental significance. The wood ceiling is a wonderful element in the making of a country style kitchen~I'm jealous!! Painted cabinets are all that's needed to complete the look.

  • jmc01
    10 years ago

    If you do decide to paint, but in the future you decide to do what your mom did and strip the paint....save yourself future work by applying shellac FIRST now before you paint.

    Shellacing the wood now will make paint stripping in the future soooooo much easier!

    I hope you don't paint the ceiling. If you give the walls some real color, you'll be surprised at the change in mood...richer colors.

  • erica1234
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    Thanks so much for all the nice responses! I'm leaning toward painting the cabinets to start and then go from there. Those are more likely to get replaced at some point in the future anyway (sorry Dad!). I like the blue awm03 posted and was thinking either white or a blue/gray color. We have SS appliances.

    Floors and countertops are from 1976 and are in great shape, but they are definitely dated. I'd like to replace them at some point, so those are blank slates. No guilt about ripping those out! I'd like wood floors, but don't want it to feel darker, clash too much, or have it be even more wood overload!

    Window trim is nice wood that is unfinished - so it can be stained or painted any color. I will try to post more photos at some point.

  • patty_cakes
    10 years ago

    Lovvvvvvvve the idea of a blue-gray!

    Here is a link that might be useful: blue-gray cabs

  • peony4
    10 years ago

    Oh, I love the pattern on that floor! Wow--your parents took good care of this home. We bought a home 15 years ago with linoleum from the 1970s, and even then, it didn't look nearly as good as this.

  • aprilmack
    10 years ago

    I absolutely love the ceilings too. I wouldn't paint them.

  • awm03
    10 years ago

    Oooo, blue-gray, yes!!!

  • awm03
    10 years ago

    That floor is so charming. I love it. Is it ceramic? It looks to be in good shape from the photo.

    Your kitchen could be fantastic with relatively little work!

  • Bunny
    10 years ago

    Oh my, that ceiling is beautiful. The patina and variation is something else. I'm in awe of your mom taking down each board to strip and refinish it. Personally, I'd love that kind of project...if someone else took the boards down and put them back up. :)

    I'm totally in favor of you ultimately making this your house as you desire it to be. But if you could keep that ceiling, oh boy. I agree with the others to paint your cabinets and see how that changes things. While the blue looks nice with the wood ceiling, I would prefer a creamy white for maximum lightness.

  • erica1234
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    Thanks!

    The floor is linoleum (which maybe makes it a little less charming). I wish it was tile, but it is in really good shape. My parents did install high-quality items and took really good care of them.

  • awm03
    10 years ago

    Whatever the material, the look is refreshing. You can't buy anything like that now, which is why it looks so different and appealing.

  • bbstx
    10 years ago

    I love the turquoise and the blue gray cabinet colors, but I agree with others. If your goal is lightening up the area, then I think white or cream cabinets would get you closer to your goal. Perhaps the attached picture from This Old House will serve as inspiration.

    And while the floor is a gem, I think I would have to let it go, too.

    Do you ever foresee selling this house? If so, do it the way you want it. I doubt that the next owners will pay homage to your mom...although that ceiling project deserves it!

  • erica1234
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    I do like that look... it's a a nice, bright room even with wood on both the ceiling and the floor.
    I was never sure about having a dark-ish floor with the wood ceiling, but it's not too much when the cabinets are in the middle to break it up.

  • debrak2008
    10 years ago

    I also love the ceiling and would paint the cabinets.

  • awm03
    10 years ago

    Well, I'll quibble here. I've owned dark houses with small windows, and painting everything light or white can turn out blah. It doesn't overcome the lack of light. On the other hand, strong colors worked well in dim light, and dark/light combos at least gave the illusion of shadow and light. At least that's what I learned when I moved to the wooded northeast from the sunny south: The old colonial color palette -- barn reds, soldier blue, bayberry green, etc. -- enlivens dim houses. The white kitchen above is lovely, but keep in mind a professional photographer has a couple of softbox light kits shining on it. Merely painting a kitchen white won't give you the same effect.

    All I'm really saying is, if you like creamy white for the cabinets, great! But don't feel you have to limit yourself to white because the kitchen is dim. Color may work well too. A light blue gray isn't that dark.

  • Holly- Kay
    10 years ago

    Oh my Erica, the ceiling is gorgeous. I really would leave it as is because it adds a lot of character to your room.

    I love your floor. It is in awesome condition.and actually linoleum wears like iron. If you do decide to replace it at some point wood floors would look great!

    The cabinets are very charming and I think they would look very nice painted and more to your taste.Your kitchen would look awesome just with painting your cabinets for now.

    With two daughters that are about your age I can say that if either of them want my home at some point I will want them to make it their own by adding their personal vision to it. What a wonderful young lady you are to think of your DM's hard work and wanting to honor that but she would want you to love living there. Put your own stamp on it and enjoy it!

  • lavender_lass
    10 years ago

    I think all that wood is beautiful, but a warm white cabinet would look good, too. What style do you like?

    If you do decide to keep the floor, the cream/white color would look great on the cabinets and the stainless steel appliances and hardware would pick up the gray.

    This way, you'd have a kitchen that you like (light and bright) that is still a tribute to your mom (ceiling) and your dad (floor). Basically, your sunny, white cabinets would be getting a permanent hug :)

  • graywings123
    10 years ago

    You can overcome a dark room with good lighting. That ceiling is beautiful. Try putting some uplighting in the room with a torchiere lamp.

  • neetsiepie
    10 years ago

    I will come at this from a different POV. My house has 8 foot ceilings and a beautiful stained wood ceiling in the addition to our house. But-that wood sucks every single bit of light out of the room. No matter how much lighting I put in there, or how bright the bulbs, it's still dim.

    In my office (3rd bedroom) I took the plunge and painted the ceiling white and what a huge difference. It is so bright in there that I seldom even need to turn on the overhead light, just a lamp does well. I'm trying to convince my DH that we need to do it in the family room, but he makes the argument "why cover that beautiful wood". Well, if the house had 12 foot ceilings-or even 10 foot, I'd say leave them, but it really makes the room cave like.

    With your small house, I really would say that painting them white will make it feel much larger and would add cottage charm to your cabinets and floor.

    (I can't figure out how to post more than one pic, so this is the before)

  • neetsiepie
    10 years ago

    This is after I painted the ceiling and walls. The room doubled in size, even tho I put in more furniture! It is so bright in there. The before/after photos were taken at the same time of the day-just shows how much difference the ceiling change made.

  • daisychain01
    10 years ago

    Love the floor and the ceiling. In my opinion the best plan would be to pull the darkest colour from the floor and paint the lower cabinets that shade (looks grey/green on my monitor) and then paint the upper cabs the lightest cream shade in the floor. What are your counters? If the counters are a definite colour, I'd do the cabs all the light cream colour. If you can change the counters, do something that has both colours from the floor in it.

  • jlj48
    10 years ago

    I would feel the same as you about making the changes. I agree with the earlier poster that said "you will know when it's time". Having said that, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, the ceiling as is, and everything else for that matter. If you're wanting to paint the cabinets go for it. Your Dad still made them, so you're not undoing his work-just enhancing it and making it current. I would do the cabinets and then see how you feel. I like the floor and if it's in good shape I would not change it. You cannot find anything like that now. Accessories and a pretty rug can make it a feature and conversation piece-something I would love much more than a home that looked like everyone else's.

  • erica1234
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    Thank you all for the opinions. I'm getting a lot of great ideas on how to make the ceilings work as-is.

    pesky - thanks for the photos. I like the before and the after, but what a difference the white ceiling makes! I do agree that ceiling height makes a huge difference.

  • ineffablespace
    10 years ago

    I am not sure that the big difference in Pesky's room is the ceiling color as much as it is the wall color. The white ceiling Contributes, sure, but the reflectance value of the current wall colors is also much higher than it was with the darker blue and gold.

    If there are ceiling fixtures that bounce light off the ceiling rather than out and down then of course a white ceiling would make a big difference. But ordinarily wall color is going to make the biggest change.

  • Bumblebeez SC Zone 7
    10 years ago

    I wouldn't paint it, the picture bbtx posted is a fabulous example of how to make it work, and pesky's room is a different animal altogether. But......if you do paint it, it's ok to not be a slave to your mother forever.

    The ceiling is gorgeous and I would paint the cabinets first at least ...BUT, if you don't like it and it doesn't make you happy, then do what does.

  • nhb22
    10 years ago

    I would leave the ceilings...they are beautiful!

    I didn't see it mentioned, but are the ceilings Heart Pine?

    I would paint the cabinets white or blue/gray (if you want to go country.)

    We recently had to sell my parents house after they passed away within 5 months of each other. Some of the colors in the house were dated. After being on the market for 4 months, we decided to have all the walls of the house painted a beige color. The house sold the next week! Was it tough to do to the house that my parents loved? Yes! It was even tougher to see what the new owners have done...and not in a good way, but life goes on. The house isn't ours anymore.

    Another similar situation. I inherited, among other things, a set of dining room chairs that have needlepoint seats. The needlepointing was done by my mother, and both grandmothers! Some of the wool cushions are beige, while others are a gray color. All have fruit patterns. I am feeling guilty because I would like to cover the cushions. I keep chickening out, though.

  • bbstx
    10 years ago

    nhb, You could carefully remove the needlepoint from the chair bottoms. Have the canvases cleaned, then store them with lavender, cedar, or what ever aromatic you use to repel bugs. Then you can have the chairs covered to please you and yet maintain the needlepoint for another family member who may want them.

    FWIW, I've read that needlepoint is going to make a resurgence this year.

  • Olychick
    10 years ago

    nhb, you could also see about having the chair covers made into pillows and gift other family members with them.

    sorry to divert your thread, erica.

  • bbstx
    10 years ago

    erica, have you thought about using large sheets of paper and double sided removable tape to get a feel for changing out the colors in your kitchen? The tape holds like a post-it note - nothing permanent, but it would keep the paper up long enough for you to get a feel for the difference.

    If you decide to give this a try, make sure you get the tape that says REMOVABLE. There is also a permanent tape which I believe you would want to avoid.

    Here is a link that might be useful: Double Sided Removable tape

  • geokid
    10 years ago

    I was expecting knotty pine or dark '70s wood, but that ceiling is gorgeous! I wouldn't paint it in a million years.

    The cabinets though, I would have no problem painting. Painting the walls and the cabinets a color with a higher LRV would be the direction I chose. I really love the blue-grey mock-up.

    I also like your floors. They are unique and a nice color and a cool pattern. I'd try to work with them.

    Here is a picture of a kitchen with a wood ceiling and light cabinets. Realize the floor is brick and there is a large brick wall off camera to the right that both suck up a lot of light.

    Obviously you need to do what makes you happy in YOUR home, but you asked for advice and my advice is to leave the ceiling for sure and work with the floor. The rest can change.

  • ILoveCookie
    10 years ago

    erica1234, I really like your cabinets and ceiling, and wish I could trade with you.

    If the kitchen were mine, I would try painting the wall a different color first, and see how it feels before laying my finger on the gorgeous cabinets and ceiling.

  • nhb22
    10 years ago

    Thank you for the suggestions on the needlepoint seat covers. I was just planning on covering them up and then they could be uncovered in the future. Knowing me, I'll just leave them on until needlepoint comes back into fashion! thank you for that tidbit. :)