I think I have developed OCD lately so I constantly second guess my choices. I keep looking at the paint I picked for the living room that wasn't matched exactly and it bothers me. Not sure if I will repaint after the holidays or just let it go. Also, waiting for a rug to come that I fear will be too light. In that case it's easy...send it back. I understand your frustration and wish I had the answer. I guess I do co-exist once I am onto something else. I wish I were one of those people who just got it right the first time. I guess decorating is not my forte.

I have low expectations. :0) I also tend to like something "forever"! I liked high quality polished brass when it was popular in the '80's, I like it now.

Barbara Walters did a special on happiness. She interviewed people, only to find those that had low expectations were the happiest! Good to know...huh..

nicole that's really interesting about expectations and happiness. I'd take it one step further. I have high expectations, but I don't think they are unreasonably high. However, I'm also quick to adapt and for me that's key, along with attitude. There are often 'surprises" encountered in life (decorating is just one tiny part of life, yes?) but they rarely make me feel 'dissatisfied'. Challenged, maybe, but a nuance of paint or a finish on metal is not enough to send me into a tail-spin. I alter course slightly to accommodate the unexpected or simply turn a blind eye. In the end, it all seems to work just fine anyway.

pammyfay and scanmike if you can keep an eye on the BIG picture it helps. Does your home comfort you, welcome your loved ones and protect you from the elements? No one who matters should pick apart your home. Be kind to yourself and don't judge your choices so harshly.

I have learned to take my time, and really carefully consider my choices, unless of course I see something and just "know" that it is right. In that instance I have learned to jump on it, because sometimes when I have waited and then gone back, what I wanted is no longer available.

And I do think that values sometimes enters the picture. An instance of this was when we were building our house, and we hired a father/son team to install our flooring in the side entry and 1/2 bath. It was a quality vinyl flooring. After the installation I notice that there was a small cut in the flooring that was obviously accidental.

I really considered what to do, and I decided that I would not say anything or insist that the job be redone. If I had done so, the father/son team would have lost money on the job, and from what I knew about them might have to go hungry to make up the difference.

Everytime I look at the defect (and it is in the middle of the floor and is quite obvious), I actually get a good feeling. I think I did the right thing then, and 18 years later, I still think so.

My goal is not to have a decorating magazine level home. My goal is to have a comfortable home that is pleasing to my family, and is welcoming to our guests. And one that reflects who we are and what are values are.

barb 5 ... I totally agree. There are so many things that happen throughout our lives, that may not meet our expectations, whether it be with jobs, friends, husbands, kids or even decorating. And when you look at the big picture - does it really matter.

So many people strive to perfection and tend to alienate themselves along the way. Sometimes you just have to turn a blind eye and appreciate what you have. I think it was Dr. Phil who said " You can be right, or you can be happy."

Wow I am so glad to know that I am not the only one that agonizes over such things. I am a perfectionist by nature and when I care about something (and decorating my home is something that I care a lot about) I tend to want to do it perfectly. I have many times repainted rooms because I am just not happy and I will analyze magazine photos (in pottery barn for instance) or watch HGTV for hours on end trying to educate myself. I sound pretty neurotic don't I? lol For all the time and energy and thought I have put into decorating, you would think that my home would be featured in a magazine...lol...but it isn't!! I do know this...over time you learn from your decorating mistakes and that there is no "right" or "wrong". I know the many choices out there can make it overwhelming though. Put it this way, there may be five or ten really excellent color choices to paint your living room so there is no "one perfect color". I am really babbling here, but just know you are not alone, I feel your pain. What I try to do is bite off one small thing at a time.

Speaking of low expectations, usually when I think something will look absolutely gorgeous, most of the time it doesnt meet my high expectations. Other times when I pick something and then second guess myself later but it is too late to change it, it turns out way better than I thought and I am happy with it. So now I try not to expect TOO much when I make a decision because I dont want to be disappointed.

Pammy, I remember you're thread in the bathroom forum, didn't know what you ended up doing. We did something very similar, a mix of brushed nickel with chrome. My concern wasn't so much matching finishes as it was matching finish types as in silvers with silvers so I'm happy with that, but I love the brushed metal at the sinks, to me it has a much softer look, maybe over time you'll find things you like about it too.

Another thing that I've really noticed is that chrome spots so easily and its hard to get them off! Now I thank God we only put Chrome in the shower and not everywhere!!

Hi Pammyfay.

No, I am can honestly say that I am NEVER disatisfied with my choices. And, really, it has nothing to do with the fact that I have a degree in interor design. It goes much deeper than that. But then, I do have two advantages over a lot of people.

For one thing, I have absolute confidence in my own taste. My taste may not be anybody else's taste, but it's mine, and and if I chose something, it's by definition good and therefore, doesn't need changed or even pondered after-the-fact, which is the first step on the slippery slope of self-doubt: Don't take it!

The other factor is, as others have pointed out above, being easily satisfied. Magnaverde Rule No. 4: The secret to contentment is setting your standards low.

Remember the story of "The Princess & the Pea?" In it, the goofball young prince chooses as his bride not one of the easy-to-please young maidens that would have made his life a delight, but the one who complained in the morning about how miserable she was, because she didn't sleep a wink all night. That, of course, was because the clever prince had placed a pea at the very bottom of a giant stack of feather beds on the young woman's elegant bed, with the reasoning (if you can call it that) that the maiden who would make the best wife would be the one who was so exquisitely sensitive that even the tiniest irritation would keep her tossing & turning all night, leaving her whiny & petulant in the morning. Now there's a recipe for a long & happy marriage.

Fortunately, that's just a fairy tale, but I still know people--women, mostly--who are never satified with their homes, who are always on the prowl for something 'fresh' who are always worrying & wondering if there isn't, somwehere, a better color, a nicer finish, a prettier fabric than the one they have now.

And you know what? There probably is. But even when people like that get that better whatever-it-is, they're seldom satisfied. Because as soon as they get that thing, they notice something else that's not quite right. That's because the real problem doesn't have anything to do with nickel-VS pewter or raised-panel VS. Shaker-style cabinets or the elusive undertones in an a can of paint. It's not really about decorating at all. The real problem goes way deeper than that, which is why it's nothing that can ever be solved with a can of paint or a new finish on the faucet or a new throw pillow.

Some decorators love clients like that, because, lets face it, they're an never-ending source of business, always wanting to trade out their appliances or the blinds in the sunroom or whatever. It's always something that's preventing them from being satisfied, and they think that once they get that new vase or newrug, then, finally, they'll be satisfied with their homes. They'll be happy. But here's the thing: they won't.

That's why I won't work with a client like that. I have taste & knowledge & experience, and I can charge for all those things, but I can't sell happiness, and the fact that some people spend their whole lives trying to buy it won't add that to my skill set. I'm a decorator, not a psychiatrist.

Anyway, self-doubt & second-guessing yourself are problems, all right, but, really, they have nothing to do with decorating. So, if you're tired of your mauve carpet, or your Tuscan stucco walls, by all means, change them. But once you've done it, don't start second-guessing your choices, worrying that you should have chosen something else. Like they say, it ain't rocket science. Go easy on yourself & save some money in the process. Whatever you've already got is probably good enough.

Magnaverde Rule No. 30.
Sometimes the easiest thing to change is our attitude.

Magneverde, I bow to you. What you said is just why my nickname here is what is it. I just have to be who I am in everything I do. I've been that way for as long as I can remember and according to family stories. The only time I get wonky in the head is when I let myself get bored, which luckily isn't very often. I love what I love and yes, it's nice if someone else thinks it awesome too, but if it makes my family and I happy and it works for us then it's just what we'll have.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

I've been lucky in my remodel -- I was able to hire a designer, first off; he and the GC were really good to work with, as well. I hired the designer because I know I am one of those people who will shrug things off, because it isn't enough to worry about. Not the big things, but the little details.

It makes my life happier, I agree with that, but I also knew we were spending a bunch of money and I needed someone to be really anal about the details. Combining that with low expectations worked out really well! :-)

My theory is that everyone should have really high standards on a few things, but low standards on everything else. You get to choose which is which.

Great post magnaverde. Would love to read your other rules.

Yes. Frequently.

Trying VERY hard to adjust my own attitude.

Jan at Rosemary Cottage

When it comes to decorating, I plan and replan, build models, do mental walkthroughs, put together sample boards, collect hundreds of paint chips, and then settle for what's available.

No, I am rarely, even never (?), dissatisfied with my choices.

I am very decisive, and I know what I like. I go with my first instinct, and don't question it. I also don't ask other people for their opinions since they are not me, and they will not be living in my home.

I'm not a decorator, I'm a banker, though with lots of artists in the family.

I totally become paralized when needing to spend alot of money on something. I enjoy redecorating when the cost is low. But when I need to purchase furniture, or hire construction I agonize over the decision. I wish it was more enjoyable however, I have made costly mistakes and do not want to do it again. ~ Love your story about your floor Barb. I would have made the same choice as you!
My expectations about my home get lower all the time. My expectations in relationships do too. I'm waiting for my expectations about my looks to change. Now that I'm in my 40's, I'm noticing body changes that I do not welcome. And I can't seem to get enough energy to lose the 20 pounds that I need to. But that's another story.

Having high expectations is a b**ch!

I was just reminded of one of my favorite Peanuts comic strips:

Lucy: Sometimes I get discouraged.
Charlie Brown: Well, Lucy, life does have its ups and downs, you know.
L: But why? Why SHOULD it? Why can't my life be all "ups" if I want all "ups"? Why can't I have them? Why can't I just move from one "up" to another "up"? Why can't I just go from an "up" to an "upper-up"?
I DON'T WANT ANY "DOWNS"! I JUST WANT "UPS" AND "UPS" AND "UPS!"
CB: I can't stand it...

I guess it could take some time lowering expectations! But you can bet that I'll keep coming here for advice and knowledge instead of paying a therapist to sort me out (it's too late for that!).

And the big picture, at least part of it, is that I have a house, I can decorate it as I choose and I'm surrounded by things that make me smile.

I'll agree with magnaverde ... perfection-seeking is often the enemy of finished, or the enemy of contented.

I do a lot of "satisficing" rather than seeking the perfect item. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satisficing Or it could be called "bounded rational" decision making: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bounded_rationality

I set out to find tile for a tub surround with a list of over 20 tile stores within a reasonable distance from the house. I had these non-negotiable requirements: "fired porcelain because it's a shower stall", "pale color because it's a windowless bathroom", "less than $X per square foot" because that was the budgeted amount, and "has to blend with the existing floor tile and the new biscuit-colored tub and toilet".

Existing floor tile is teal/cream/taupe/gold shaded mottled stuff, sort of like saltillos.

The first place I went to had some pale cream/taupe/gold swirly tile vaguely resembling travertine that fit the budget and blended nicely with the cream and gold in the floor tile I had with me. It fit all four requirements, so I bought it and tossed the list of stores into the trash.

Is there a tile in one of the other 19 stores that might be a teensy bit better-looking? Maybe. But is it worth spending a week visiting the remaining stores in hopes of going from 95% perfect to 96% perfect or maybe even 98%? Not to me. Will I beat up on myself if I happen to see a 99.99% perfect tile tomorrow? No.

And, I just noticed that the tile I bought has a tiny swirl of chocolate brown in some tiles, which only became apparent when I redid the cabinets with a deep brown stain and repainted the walls from toothpaste-minty green to pale taupe.

For someone with ADD, I'm very good at delaying gratification. If I don't love it, I can walk away. And like Magnaverde, I also have 100% confidence in my taste. If I like it, of course, it's fabulous!

I also don't pay much attention to trends, although I love design magazines. I've got a very good visual memory, and can usually eye match colors and sizes.

I live in a loft. But it's not a white, urban art gallery loft, but rather an exposed brick 3000 sw. ft. room, decorated my own "urban farmhouse" vernacular.

Then there is the Diderot Effect, in which the upgrade of one element of a room leads to the desire for upgrading others:

Here is a link that might be useful: Regrets on Parting With My Old Dressing Gown

I'm sometimes dissatisfied with my choices (or compromises that I've made), but mostly I'm dissatisfied with quality and workmanship these days. I'm a perfectionist, but is it too much to ask to frame a wall or a doorway plumb? To patch a ceiling seam so that it doesn't keep cracking (well, that may be due to settling, so I'm going to wait a few more years before having the ceilings retaped again - the builder did it 9 months after the house was built, 18 months later I've got cracks coming back so maybe I just have to wait til the house is 6-7 years old to patch and paint ceilings again).

Case in point - I questioned tile installer about his omission of thinset b/t the Hardibacker and subfloor, since I'd installed tile in 1 bathroom b4 hiring him to do ground floor and I'd actually *read* the instructions. He assured me screwing it down would be fine. So far he's come back once a year to reset 50-60 sf of tile each time (I just had to pay for more thinset and grout, have no more spare tile left, he's provided labor). Two months after the last "repair" I found tile *next* to ones he replaced coming loose, new grout cracking, and repair from the previous year cracking too. Statute of limitations for small claims is 6 years - in spring 3 years after install I will see how much is loose and decide whether to sue for demo and replacement of the whole 500sf or if we can "repair" one more time. In the meantime I still have no door casings or baseboard up in the tiled areas (except for the bathroom I did, which is fine) since I don't want to waste time, $, and materials on woodwork that would need to be ripped out to replace the floor. I also have no sink in my PR for the same reason. I don't know when I will be able to finish the front entry to my house because of the tile floor problems.

I'm always happy with my choices of colors, textures, materials, and so forth.

I'm often dissatisfied with my choices of arrangements, and often have to move things around a lot before I find a spatial layout that I feel comfortable with.

I think what it comes down to is that while my tastes in colors and textures are definitive, I have an extremely poor spatial sense. Visualizing rooms in 3d is hard for me, and no matter how many aides (paper cut-outs on graph paper, computer programs, etc.) I might use, areas are still never quite proportioned the way I think they are.

Strangely, though, I don't seem to have this problem with outdoor spaces. It's only indoor spaces that stymie me. Odd, that.

Ah, the Diderot Effect. Curses on it. I needed some new pots and pans, but I didn't need ALL new pots and pans. They look much better in my new kitchen, though.

And now the old wallpaper in the foyer really doesn't look good at all, and the orangish oak wainscot up the stairs looks so scuffed up! I hadn't noticed that before ...

Yes and no. I think there's a big difference between always changing something to be happy and making the adjustments until you get it right for you. My LR is pretty much done for me. I need some more art on the walls and I'd like to get a leather ottoman but that's about it. Same with the kitchen/DR area. I'm quite content with how they are. I have no desire to repaint or change out fabrics. However, it was a process to get there. I originally had a completely different color scheme going on and as I was learning stuff about myself realized I gravitate towards green, gold, and red and nothing on the cool end of the spectrum. Things have become easier. My goal is to complete the room(s) and let it be. I don't like that half my house is unfinished. I'm also on a mission because I know once we have kids I won't have the time or probably as much of a desire to futz with decorating the house. My parents had to wait on a lot of house related things when we kids and there are some things that still aren't how Mom would've done them. In my mind, I'm preventing this.

In the past, I've been known to return items multiple times before it feels "right" to me. Pillows, curtains, lamp shades etc. Dad just made a joke last night saying "Yeah, so she can take it back 4 times.." *Grin* I'm very indecisive and most times approval, even if it's just one person, makes me feel better about my choice. There are other times I don't really care if anyone else likes it or not. At the end of the day I ask myself what I think, how it works for our lifestyle, and how important changing that particular thing really is. Do I really need to spend the money on an ORB faucet right now, you know? I do spend too much time fretting about decisions. Paint is a biggie. I get on my own nerves! There are times I'll get so frustrated that I'll completely put aside whatever I'm debating on hold for a couple days or weeks until I'm ready. Haven't looked for a mattress or bed in quite some time! I have no desire to go back there yet.

Ajsmamma said another thing I was thinking. Workmanship is big. I think we can all agree we want things done right. Lots of people (in my experience around here) don't seem to give a hoot. I'm sure if it were their own house many of those people would feel different. Came right out and ask the drywall guy that question while he was on the phone with his boss saying how,"it's not THAT bad...blah, blah" with the attitude that I was being a ridiculous girl. His answer was no btw. Had problems with Shaw installing our carpet. We ended up finally just paying to have it fixed right by another company because we were so tired of the aggravation. Right now DH has been dealing with an electricians about some work we'd like to have done and it's ridiculous. Communication shouldn't be difficult. If you have a business, scheduling things shouldn't be a hard task. Also with the economy not booming right now you'd think people would be a little more enthusiastic and on the ball. I'll stop there but the workmanship as well as poor communication really, really irritates me and I am a perfectionist. DO you want the work or not? So yeah, the things that were half *$$ed done bug me when I look at them. I have to get to that point of accepting and letting it go. It is what it is.

I tend to also be very OCD and want to second guess myself. I use to not be like that but ended up painting several rooms in my home that I was not happy with. For me if my paint choice is right than most everything else falls in to place. I also will take things back in a heartbeat if they just don't work for me. Right now I am redecorating a few rooms that I did "wrong" a few years ago and making sure that I don't make the same mistakes
I am like Nicole and tend to like things "forever" so I need to get it right..

I have to say I've never regretted any of my design or decorating decisions. I always know what I want; it's just a matter of time of locating what I have in my head--fabric, furniture, antiques........whatever, or coming across an unexpected find and just knowing that it would work in my home.

I have made it a point not to purchase anything unless it is fulfills my vision, or my whims! Twenty years ago, I purchased a few accessories just to have something to fill a spot. Those are the items that wound up at Goodwill.

I have a reputation among family and freinds of not being able to make a decision on anything I purchase or changes that I make to my home. But, of course, I have to somewhat disagree. If I don't know what I want, I don't do anything! I consider myself one of the most patient people in the world when it comes to "waiting for what I want". Now, I may be waiting to be able to afford a particular item, or I may be waiting to find what I want, or I just plain old don't know what to do.

It took me a year and half to find a sofa and loveseat. What is so bad, the foam was actually showing through the fabric on my old one, the cushions were sliding out from under you they were so worn, but I refused to be rushed! I went through so many decorating "scenarios" trying to find something I would love immediately, but would also allow me flexibility in the future. Am I happy with my purchase? You bet!

Haven't had drapes in LR for over a year. Removed my old "country drapes" last October to paint, install and finish floors, and still have no drapes back up. Had to wait on the new sofa which I just got this month! Now I need to repaint because the neutral beige that I thought would "go" with anything looks gray against my "slightly golden" neutral sofa. Now, I am waiting until after Christmas to pick out a new paint, then I will pick out drapes.

Purchased my new rug on-line, sight unseen, with a little help from some folks on here. Didn't stress over it - I knew it was what I wanted when I found it. Took me about 24 hours to make that decision. But, I must admit, I had been shopping for about 3 months, trying to get some ideas.

So in answer to the question, I am almost always satisfied with my choices. If the market comes out with something new or different or prettier, I don't stress over it. I tell myself I loved it when I bought, and I am going to enjoy it. Most all of us are going to mess up with the wrong paint or drapes or something that absolutely looks rediculous and we ask ourself, WHAT WAS I THINKING? Fix the problem then, and move on.

I would like to point out that I only agonize over the big stuff because of the money involved and the fact that I have to keep it for so long. Life is too short and too busy to stress over the small stuff! If I like it I know it, if I don't like it I walk away. And once I get everything put together, I don't feel the need to keep changing it.

Tuesday

I usually try to consider my options before making a decision, especially if it is a costly one, but sometimes things look better in my head than they do in reality.

Or sometimes things don't function quite they way I thought they would. For example, the 42" round ottoman seemed like a good idea when we were discussing it with the designer at the furniture store. We would certainly be getting side tables of some sort. And the ottoman could always do double duty as a coffee table in a pinch. Once we got the furniture in the room and discovered that there is little or no room for side tables and DS has a hard time not kicking the remotes on the floor, it doesn't seem like a good plan after all. I'm trying to convince DH that unless he wants to set his glass on the floor for the next 8 to 10 years until we redo this room, we need to sell the ottoman and get a coffee table. So far, he isn't convinced.

I usually am happy with our decisions, but rarely get to the point where I step back and evaluate. The journey is ongoing. I read somewhere that no great work of art is ever finished, only abandoned-I kind of agree with that.

Barb5 what a great story. I love the fact that 18 years later you can still look back and know you did the right thing.

Oh boy...now there's a question! My reply...all the time!!

I've been second-guessing everything lately. Maybe just because I'm so busy work-wise that I never seem to have time to really look at the 'right'options and make a decision.
I know I want to change something (Maybe it should be my job and not my decorating...LOL:))
I buy on impulse and then decide it's not what I really wanted and what was there in the 1st place maybe been better.

I'm ok with family room, but have been challenged on bedroom and kitchen for almost 2 yr! Getting stuck by indecision, but I have to admit it's fun to do the decorating...and re-decorating thing!
L.

Yes. Decorating and otherwise :)

My biggest problem is being impatient and wanting to get things done, instead of waiting and looking and thinking more. When I do take my time, I seem to get quite indecisive and drive myself crazy.

And I need A LOT more money to spend! :)

Boy, did this post strike a chord with me. Yes, I second guess and regret a lot when it comes to decorating. I do agree it probably comes from self confidence and in my case, a lack of patience to find just what I'm looking for, and of course a lack of $s. I end up settling a lot due to the cost of items, where instead I should start getting creative and try to find exactly what I want that's within my budget.

I'm not perfect about my choices but getting better. What was really helpful was hiring a very good decorator for a few hours (very experienced with projects that I had seen and liked). I couldn't afford a decorator for everything- just for the big choices. She pointed me in the right direction and gave me tips. We went over candidly what was wrong with previous choices- how they were not working together well. I took it from there.

Regarding "low expectations", yes, the media has been pushing that idea lately- that people with low expectations are happier. But all of the quality projects and inventions and great art that gets done are from people who have the courage to put out an idea and work towards it. Not expecting anything so that you don't get disappointed is an apathetic view of life.

Magnaverde is a talented writer and designer. Yes, he may have low expectations but he also has *high* expectations. Its where you park your expectations that is important. He obviously does not expect that his happiness is derived from the objects. If you expect that the objects are going to make you happy, you loose every time. Yet he has high expectations in his ability. He has high expectation that whatever he chooses will be fine, and that he can admire his results. And he wins.

The discussion reminds me of this: I have a special teenage friend that has a passion for football. He is small of stature so when he went to play, he was on the bench for two seasons. He just *knew* that at 5'3 and 120lbs that he was a better choice for quarterback than the buff guy who was 165 and 6 foot tall. The coaches thought his expectations were ridiculous, but he didn't care. So he grew (just a little bit more), put on a few more pounds. He found a 6-man tackle league where he was allowed to play QB. From there he became the top scoring 6 man QB in his state. He decided to become a pro football coach, another ridiculous expectation, ridiculous goal. He coaches other kids, has had undefeated seasons. His successful action, he told me, is *very high expectation* in his players. He says "I expect the most, and they give me the most". He doesn't treat them like kids. He respects them as serious players. He's their favorite coach. Now there is someone that I expect to succeed, because he knows where to put his expectations, and doesn't get stuck in the losses, and is not afraid to have "ridiculous" expectations, and just doesn't get stuck in any bad outcome. Whatever he ends up doing I suspect (expect) he'll be a winner.

No, almost never have remorse once I make a choice. I operate under a certain amount of delayed gratification, however. I had two dining tables and only two chairs for years because the right chairs that I could afford took awhile to come along. I had plastic bubble wrap on a number of my windows for years, because it allowed privacy, filtered light, was perforated at good lengths and was cheap. It didnt look too bad either, in the interim--better than the $3 plastic miniblind that is the most common solution.

I find that people who I know or who I've done design for that express the most dissatisfaction with choices are those who buy things to make do, to fill space, or to have "something there". I have one friend/client who is on her third set of dining chairs because she would neither make the decision to pay for what she really wanted *or wait until the right ones came along. Sometimes necessity requires making rash decision, but I would rather borrow chairs or sit on folding chairs than buy a real chair I didn't like.

Ok....here's what I think of as an example of low expectations. Setting attainable goals and reaching them. ie: I'm not unhappy that I am "not" a billionaire, but happy that I'm financially stable. My home is paid for, but I do not own multiple homes. Both are accomplishments, just not the highest achieveable. Lowered expectations can make us very happy in life and in decorating! It does not mean we do not have a measure of success to look back upon, but others may have bested us.

Palimpset, I love bubble wrap. If I ever get my act together--and have a loft or someplace big enough--I want to make a light fixture out of a pegboard, a set of LED Christmas lights, bubble wrap & hula hoops. It sounds tacky & low-rent, but then, a chandelier made out of a take-out containmers & shower rings sounds tacky, too, but it doesn't look like something I made for five dollars. Ten dollars, maybe.

But that's where low expectations come in. It's good enough for me. And if it was good enough for Oprah, who am I to argue?

How fun!

"My goal is not to have a decorating magazine level home. My goal is to have a comfortable home that is pleasing to my family, and is welcoming to our guests. And one that reflects who we are and what are values are."

Barb's post exemplifies a higher level of understanding about many things and life in general.

I find that with every birthday I have lower expectations. Perhaps I'm just becoming more realistic with age. For many decades I've considered myself a reformed perfectionist and since I'm not a trained decorator I know that not all my decisions can be right on. I'm not *frequently* dissatisfied with my choices but there are times I wonder "what on earth was I thinking". That's why there's Craigslist, yard sales, thrift stores, and attics. Unless one wants to carry a load of guilt it's necessary to just move on. And keep making decisions based on one's best information at the time.

Never dissatisfied with my choices - like Mag, "I have absolute confidence in my own taste. My taste may not be anybody else's taste, but it's mine, and and if I chose something, it's by definition good and therefore, doesn't need changed or even pondered after-the-fact". Like Pal and Mag, I will use what I have or nothing until I find the right piece(s) or create them myself. I shopped for my coffee table for 7 years (used a butlers table my grandmother gave me when I was in college until then).

It's great that most of you are happy with everything you have done to your home, but I'm guessing Pammy wasn't asking just to be told by people like Magniverd that she "needs an attitude adjustment" makes me wonder who is need of the adjustment. I know I am in the middle of a home renovation and struggle between transitional and something different. I cant afford to change my mind after I start purchasing things and living in the middle of a rural area where there are not a lot of affordable options so I am already questioning my desire to go for anything other than the easily attainable.

I have never built a house --I've only renovated old properties, so I have never dealt with choosing from their options or packages of options under the stress of a time limit. This is a situation where I think one could end up with some of the choices.

I have one client who built a very large house and had to face these decisions daily of what to choose out of various options (or delete it, and determine whether finding something else and writing a change order was worth it), and did have some buyers remorse over some of the choices as the interior design evolved. None of the choices were *bad, and I think it may have made the house a bit more challenging and interesting to *not have everything "just so".

On the other hand I have had clients get impatient with a remodeling project and get the attitude of "I don't care if its done right, I don't care what it looks like any more, I just want something there and I want it done." And these are not clients who have done super long projects.
And they are also not clients who paid me hourly to look at all 1000 doorknobs available, either, to find the one who met the price vs appearance and function criteria. Because if I had charged them, they might as well have gone with the $200 doorknob. One particular client I have who seems to be disatisfied not only has the impatience to explore the all options she has available, she is too impatient to think about the actual decision she is making between the few options I am giving her. She was impatient about making a decision between two doors. I looked at every one of Several Hundred my first choice of companies made for my own house...and ended up custom designing one. This one decision took hours...so I had better Not have buyer's remorse after that.

I think when it comes to the big picture, there is nothing the matter with the easily obtainable, if it is good quality. If I find a bathroom faucet that meets all the criteria...why not put it in all the bathrooms? I live in a dense, urban area, but the same basic options are available to me as are available to my parents in their relatively isolated rural area. And with the internet the sky is the limit. What IS available to me and not to them are luxury items, which are not generally something I have financial access to anyway.