I think your box has too few pigeonholes. :)

IMO Sometimes it's a good question that requires a simple answer. Many here are looking for support for a decision they have already made and just want cheerleaders supporting their decision. Many posters have no sense of their personal style, cannot make a decision and just keep adding more and more variables to their posts. These are not looking to reach a decision, but are looking for attention.

Some times a poster asks the wrong question about their room. This often occurs when you're too close to the subject and have trouble taking a step back. It happens to all of us from time to time.

That's why, it's sometimes better to ask the poster to take a step back and view the bigger picture rather than simply answer the poster's question.

This is an online forum of strangers although with some over time they are less unknown as far as whatâÂÂs in their head. The good thing is that if the post has several replies you can see all the good and bad possibilities all in one hit. That alone helps at worse to narrow it down. At best the perfect solution comes up.

As far as those that seem not to be able to make a decision, well, we just donâÂÂt know them well enough to make a call there. I think for some of us that are older we sometimes forget how webbed the thought process can be with several kids running around and a limited budget on top. ItâÂÂs not just about picking something itâÂÂs fretting about making sure the money is well spent because you might not have another chance at buying for another ten years or more.

There are just so many variables.

I don't know whether it has so much to do with being timid or daring in some cases. I think sometimes the OP is problem-focused and regardless of the big picture they may not *want to address the big picture.

Whether the big picture needs to be addressed is sometimes a matter of conjecture or opinion.

I think that it can often be interpreted from the OP whether they actually need more help than the are asking for, are open to it or if they aren't interested. Not necessarily in their first post, but by their responses to posts.

I will sometimes post regarding a specific question I have about one specific thing, and will get a laundry list of suggestions about unrelated (to my mind) things. Whether somebody else likes the overall aesthetic I am working in is pretty immaterial to me, if I am asking a specific question. So, I may not be overly grateful for the other advice.

What I try to do is interpret the question and answer that question primarily. If there is something *really glaringly wrong--which is something more common to kitchen or house plans-- I will say something like "there are other issues that need to be addressed, you need to look at the big picture".

If I don't like someone's wall color or their sofa fabric but that's not what they are asking about, I mind my own business or, sometimes ask "How open would be be to____" without offering any suggestions. I would imagine it is very frustrating for someone who is already a bit unsure about something to be told that the rest, (which they may have just done) is wrong, wrong, wrong.

Gyr_Falcon. feel free to add more "pigeonholes"; I just started from my perspective.

beverly27, you've echoed some of my thoughts.

jterrilynn, you are right about the wish for changes being sometimes (many times, really) constrained by family priorities and budget. I think this is true for many older people, too.

palimpsest, I'm a big picture person, too. In my work life, analyzing and strategizing are my strongest characteristics so I always want to know more, e.g., "what's behind that wall", etc.

True confession, though: I love change, crave change and sometimes make decisions on a dime. Not always the best method as my house will attest. Paint? Let's see, I have 10 different colors here. I won't even go into the furniture. I'll just say it's eclectic.

As many of you know, I'm in a house I desperately want out of. Still, I can walk through the rooms and mentally make a list of everything I want to change - even though it doesn't make sense to do it.

Perhaps another question might be: What do you do when you really want a big change, but realistically (not timidly) need to settle for a small one.

Honestly whenever I have wanted a big enough change, I've moved. Once I've finished a room there are always little things added or subtracted but no substantial changes to an existing scheme. I've never repainted a room from the first color I painted it (I made one the next shade down on the card and used a slightly higher sheen in a room soon after it was finished because I wasn't happy with it)

But I've never "redecorated" a room I have completed. But I've only been in each place about 7 years when everything was done the first time around. I don't plan on moving this time, but I would imagine it will mostly be once and done and then it will eventually be a time capsule.

The house I grew up in was decorated once in 1969-74 and then a second time in 1987-89 and then time stood completely still. Art and accessories got collected but that's it. I will probably do approximately the same.

It was 1:15am when I posted, tomatofreak--too tired for a construction project post! Had also just spent hours cleaning up broken glass, after bumping a dome light with a length of cabinet trim and it dropped to the floor. Tiny shards of glass flew into three rooms. At least it was more expansive than expensive...

Everyone gets to the final decisions in a different way. I know my paths can be as varied as the project. My method is generally to start with a lot of input/info, then pare it down to what will work best within the constraints and trying to limit the risks/downsides. New ideas, or the pointing out of problems that may be encountered, are very welcome. But even if 75% of the posters think I should install xyz, I'm not going to be swayed if I know I hate xyzs. Does that make me timid (resisting something different), or daring (standing up for my own aesthetics)?

At the end stages of decision-making, I can understand if someone does not want to revamp their entire project, explain in detail why this and that has been already been removed from consideration or is not applicable, and justify the brush-off of that $5200 chandelier suggestion post, if they simply want an opinion about one finalizing detail.

IMO, the same person can be confident and not want broader scope concerning one project, yet be less confident and wavering with every post input on another. Or be confident about the color, but not about size/texture/material. Where do you house the pigeon then?

Speaking of change... I feel this falls completely in the Daring camp.

Here is a link that might be useful: Lake House Makeover

Gyr_FalconEveryone gets to the final decisions in a different way. I know my paths can be as varied as the project. My method is generally to start with a lot of input/info, then pare it down to what will work best within the constraints and trying to limit the risks/downsides. New ideas, or the pointing out of problems that may be encountered, are very welcome. But even if 75% of the posters think I should install xyz, I'm not going to be swayed if I know I hate xyzs. Does that make me timid (resisting something different), or daring (standing up for my own aesthetics)?

At the end stages of decision-making, I can understand if someone does not want to revamp their entire project, explain in detail why this and that has been already been removed from consideration or is not applicable, and justify the brush-off of that $5200 chandelier suggestion post, if they simply want an opinion about one finalizing detail.

IMO, the same person can be confident and not want broader scope concerning one project, yet be less confident and wavering with every post input on another. Or be confident about the color, but not about size/texture/material.

Tomato freak, that house makes me smile all over!

"Honestly whenever I have wanted a big enough change, I've moved." ~~ palimpsest

Exactly what I want to do most! This reminded me of an initiative I took on in the early 90's. This was a very neglected part of the city and it showed. I began putting together a group of neighborhood activists and volunteers. One of the first things I asked people to do was to walk around the neighborhood, then back to their own house to look with fresh eyes. It was amazing. Lots of people began to paint and clean up. And several moved!!

I should not have used the terms, "Daring" and "Timid"; but I couldn't come up with better terms at that moment. I did not intend to sound offensive. Still, I'm fascinated by the process of change, how people view it, decide on it, embrace or resist it. I hope more of you will post.

I think someone new looking at the picture and commenting can be a breath of much need fresh air but only if the poster is open too it. In my case I have a window and a door way that were removed for access to our new sunroom . I can,t afford to finish that wall the way I want too so I have been licing with a really ugly wall for two years. My daughter that just moved back to the area walked in a few days ago and said why don,t you just puddy and paint out the frames until you can fix it? DUH!! I don,t have a clue how I got so focused on the problems with that wall that I didn,t see such a obvious and easy solution. I,m painting it tomarrow as soon as the kids are in school. When I can afford to finish off the wall with sliding french doors I will but for now it will look much better .