Joanie, the LR was designed to be better for work/utility than the cars available at that time. It still is a very good off road vehicle, but has become today's version of a luxury "station wagon". If you want an SUV that drives like a sports car then the Porsche Cayenne wins that contest. In my recent car research I saw that Bentley is coming out with an SUV and they hope it will double their sales. Why not, it worked for Porsche! None of these are a good choice if you take up real off roading as a hobby.

How do you know that it was a status symbol from seeing them at the supermarket parking lot? I don't lease myself, but it is an option that makes sense for many people, for many different reasons. Maybe that person prefers to lease a nice vehicle and spend less on a smaller house. My Father just leased his last vehicle (luxury suv!). He has the cash, but at 75 years old his financial analysis told him that leasing made sense at this stage of his life. You would be so wrong in assuming it was a status symbol or keeping up with the Joneses.

Unless you know a person's financial details to the last penny, you can't judge that a purchase was a status symbol or keeping up with the Joneses. I don't care how others choose to live if they aren't breaking any laws or hurting others. If someone chooses to spend their money on an expensive car and eat ramen noodles, isn't that their choice? Different than yours/mine, but not worse.

Why the assumptions, judging and generalizations of others because they choose to do or buy something different than you?

Golddust - I love your style! I just looked at the website for your artwork and love one similar to yours. Looks like Oscar is one of her favorite subjects and and trying to decide if I can resist the Face of Love!

Let's see... Open concept is not for me - good for families with young children but not for families with adult messy cooks in the kitchen (us). Not a fan of open kitchen shelving for the same reasons as above. Pretty but not practical for me. I love seeing peoples interpretations of design. I enjoy seeing some of "them" in their home so I am disappointed when I see a room that looks like it came off of a furniture showroom. While simply not for me, not everyone cares about things like the infamous "rule of three".

Re: the SUV discussion... yes we all know this is a decorating forum (duh) but somehow many are adding thoughts re: the above. Seems as if many people have strong opinions on this matter, so what the hell, let's hear them. Don't many of us say rules are meant to be broken. If you are not interested skip the thread or at least skip over the SUV comments. No biggy in my eyes.

I know it is unfair to judge anyone by what they drive. Many people NEED their large vehicles (SUV/trucks) for work, or to cart dogs, kids, horses, whatever. Others like them for their safety. Fine. I just know that when I am shopping and I take my life in my hands backing out because 4 out of 5 vehicles are twice as high as mine with tinted windows I fear one of these days I am going to collide with one, or worse, hit someone walking because I can't see them. I live in a "small" large suburb where most people know one another. I see more people I know in the supermarket than any other place (besides church). I know these women - they don't live on hills, or cart dogs, or hockey equipment, etc. and school is closed in anticipation of snow so they do NOT have to venture out to get kids. I also don't like that they seem to think it is okay to drive on the center line - actually they don't know any other way to drive LOL.

I believe MOST of us agree that there are people that need or want larger cars, but I also know for many it is a status symbol. That's their business, just don't endanger the rest of us. And if I hit the lottery, I want a Jag. No one will have any problem seeing over my roof!

The discussion of what one wants and what one needs is one I find interesting. If we only bought what we needed, and spread some of the wealth around, no one would be homeless, or hungry, or uneducated, but this is a democracy. I can get really sappy on this subject so I'll drop it.

Gry_ Shouldn't all art purchases be emotional? Love your pieces. Moo.

All this SUV talk reminds me of when we were in CO, a ginormous RV was coming through the crowded tourist site. I mean it was larger than a greyhound bus. That did sort of rankle the green in me...I mean how many gallons to the mile do those things get? But you know how people with RVs sometimes tow another vehicle to run about in? Well this one was towing a Hummer! I figured they must own an oil well.

Ded, I hear you. I know that grocery store and trust me folks, these are not the people who have to tow a boat (which they keep at their own dock or in a marina slip, then dry dock for winter), drive on muddy dirt roads or through fields. I still drive a small wagon. I haul plants and trees from the nursery, two and sometimes three big dogs, and just about anything I need. I have wider clearance for loading than some suvs. I have learned that I need to back into any parking spot if I want to pull out safely. My allroad could go anywhere and it got me through a flooded underpass in Delaware during a storm that several suvs did not get through. I have no doubt it would be fine just about anywhere. I do try to avoid being behind one of those huge vehicles on the highway because I can't see through or around them. If it weren't for them, I would be able to see just fine from my small car. Now 18-wheelers are another issue! ;)

I do think people have been sold a bill of goods on suvs and wish we could get back to smaller cars that don't block the sight-lines of other drivers. Whoever was in charge of marketing for suvs in the beginning did an excellent job.

Chispa...I think you are misconstruing my words and taking my observations much too literally.....there ARE people in the world who do make purchases...houses, cars, boats, jewelry.....in order to project a certain image to the rest of the world..that is all I was saying..I think we have all known or known of people like this. I wasnt necessarily agreeing with dedtired that the particular land rover drivers she mentioned were status seekers....just that they do exist. .and let's face it....we all make mental judgements about people everyday based on appearance, etc...no matter how accurate or inaccurate those judgements might be.

I don't know why anyone feels the need to justify how they do/don't spend money.
There will always be the haves and the have nots and conspicuous consumption.

Joanie, yes I'm not immune to making some mental judgments of my own, but I try to understand why I make them or what the underlying emotional feeling I am having is ... but I try very hard to never share those mental feelings with others because it will insult someone and it makes others think you are judgmental and jealous. Unless you are someone's CPA or financial planner, how can you truly know? That's all I'm saying.

An example, my DH has taken up a hobby and at this point in his life can afford expensive components. He is like a kid and will tell anyone who is over to come take a look and participate. I have told him not to do this exactly because of the judgmental comments we see here. Some will see it as showing off, which is the furthest from the truth. I told him unless he knows someone is interested in the same hobby, he should not invite them out to his hobby room.

Well the thing about "trendy" and the reason that "trendy" is a problem is that is then what's foisted on EVERYONE whether we want it or not. Not always possible to have live and let live attitude. American capitalism is supposed to be this wonderful engine of creativity and multiple options. In reality... not so much.

I absolutely detest, despise, deplore.... OK I'll even say hate my SMARTASS phone. I thought it would be cool to get email on it while I am travelling but there is so much I hate about it, how do I count the ways - has a battery life of about two minutes, so often when I go to make a call I can't do it. Have to recharge the dmn thing -again. Continually cutting off calls by accidentally touching the sensitive device in such a way it thinks I want to do some weird thing or another and cuts off the call. Only can do 5 or at most 6 rings, so by the time you dig the dmn thing out of your purse you've missed the call.

I could go on, but the point I want to make is that you CAN still get a "dumb phone," but they are now strictly cheap throw-away, over priced pieces of junk. To get any kind of sound quality you're pretty much stuck with the smartass phone. I could care less what other people want in their phone - I just want one that I like and is useable for me.

Kashka, my teen son is now using our old Samsung flip phone that is nearly as old as he is! Still works great and has incredible battery life. I still use my old Palm Pilot for calendar and address book. I wish someone had bought the Palm software, other programs have never matched the simplicity of the palm calendar.

What I personally dislike but realize is trendy is book shelves that aren't used for books or if they are, have a few color-matched books. BTW, I know that having and loving lots of actual paper books dates me.

"There will always be the haves and the have nots and conspicuous consumption. "

Conspicuous consumption is a trend I've really noticed lately, and can I say I do HATE it?

My insurance agent (two different ones) told me that SUV premiums are much higher because people do take for granted the safety on ice and snow.

I have a large SUV and there have been times I can't see when I'm backing out of a parking spot because someone has an SUV a few inches taller than mine. LOL

If I'm behind another SUV on the hwy., I just keep a further distance so I can see around them.

This may not be an excuse per se, but when a husband, or husband AND wife are making a larger amount of money, they may like to reward themselves by making purchases many may think are frivolous. I feel this becomes more of the issue with men, as they are usually the main breadwinner and like to 'see' just how much money they're making~ bigger house, expensive cars, luxury vacations, 2nd/3rd homes, to name a few. It has been my personal experience, as I've seen it with my son-in-laws, as well as my own husband, although not to the degree that it became ostentious, and I think that's the point being made here. But if it doesn't hurt anyone, who cares? I would chose to donate more, but that's * my* thing.

"BTW, I know that having and loving lots of actual paper books dates me." Am not sure that's true. Maybe! DH and I also love and have a large number of books, with bookcases in every room except the kitchen and bathrooms. Amazon has been a disaster for me :>). We are, though, rapidly moving towards geezer-hood. OTOH, both DSes and DILs read real books, a lot of them.

While I don't hate or dislike shelves with mostly *objets* and few books, someitmes it does look strange. To me nothing gives a room its special tone like books neatly at home in nice-looking cases or on shelves. I can't quite define what it is about books that creates that feeling. On the thread that Chijim recently posted featuring the layered look, most of the rooms had substantial collections.

Oakley, I think that conspicuous consumption is a trend that was noted as far back as the fifties and sixties. Once the Depression and WW2 were over, Americans began to make money and started adding better this and better that to their lives. I spent several years living overseas, and when I returned from the first year in Israel and Jordan, I was bowled over by the incredible luxury of the States, which I had left only twelve months earlier. There was So Much of everything, everywhere, even in poorer neighborhoods.

I recall an event - probably 40 years ago - the Russian president or premier was visiting the States, and went to California to see Disneyland. Afterwards, he told his hosts (the Vice-President?) that he wanted to see where the "proletariat" bought their groceries. At this time, things were very difficult in the USSR. There was not much food available, almost no variety, and one had to stand in lines and request an item from the cashier. So they brought him to a regular L.A. supermarket, not in Malibu or Beverly Hills, just a plain area. And he strolled through the aisles, back and forth, and finally turned to his host and said, "You have won."

Sable, agree wholeheartedly re your books. Just what I meant when I said that I love to see the soul of the owners in their home.

Re the grocery stores - I think of that just about every time I walk into ours. For some reason the one area that bothers me the most is the cereal aisle. There is one entire row of cereal, with hundreds of choices. Yet even in our own country people are hungry.

Just to add a decorating note so I am playing by the rules... I think there are more things I like than there are things I dislike. I mostly like that you can make your own home just the way you want!

With respect to (book)shelves. Dislike may be the wrong word here because it obviously does not affect me -- unlike people driving monster SUVs. I just find it strange and certainly not a look I would ever have in my own house. It probably boils down to function. In my opinion, shelves serve a purpose, so you start with books or a collection or whatever, which necessitates shelves, rather than the other way round. So, having first shelves and built-ins and then trying to decorate seems just weird. (And to be really obnoxious now: I find it very disconcerting when I'm in someone's house and I don't see books because it suggests that they don't read --- which makes me a dinosaur because at this point, I know that people can be avid readers without having actual paper books.) And now I'll duck and cover :)

Oh, another trend: Chef ranges in kitchens whose owners obviously don't cook. Again: Look over function or necessity.

Conspicuous consumerism has been around so long, I think it must be human nature. Think of who commissioned the great medieval art works. Y'know, you don't really need a tapestry that took 8 highly skilled weavers two years to make to keep the castle warm -- lesser cloth will do. Also think of J.P. Morgan, Henry Frick, and Andrew Mellon and their competitive art buying. But also think of primitive societies and their personal baubles: shell necklaces, feathered decorations, bone jewelry, body paint & tattoos. People are hard wired to like pretty, showy things and to preen, IMO.

I live in a relatively affluent area, and it's put to shame all my old stereotypes of "rich people." People here live middle class, maybe the cars and houses are bigger than typical middle class, but the people are down to earth, charitable, & hard working. Charity work and volunteering are very important. These people give.

Something my baloney meter detects as being a trend is competitive travel. Seems to me (and I'm talking about a broad swath of educated yuppie to boomer class with extra dough that I've either read about or have encountered personally at various places), that there's some one-upsmanship about where all one has traveled to. Italy or France? That's for retirees from the midwest. Multiple trips to rain forests and Thailand, Vietnam, Morocco, South America, Tibet, New Zealand, Antarctica, Russia? U b kewl. Also yoga retreats to exotic places and anything vaguely Buddhist. The buzz phrase is, "We love to travel!" followed by a vigorous ticking off of landmarks, museums, scenic locales, historic sites, and cuisine. It's travel as status symbol.

Me personally? I'd rather renovate than travel, not that I dislike traveling.

This post was edited by awm03 on Sat, Nov 30, 13 at 12:14

I think there's a difference between art for art's sake or objects meant for purely decorative purposes and objects who serve a specific purpose but are not used for that purpose but instead now just suggest a life style/profession/ambition. For example, if you have a pick-up truck or Land Rover because you actually use it for what's it designed for (construction, vet, dog shows, whatever) vs. a Land Rover to drive around in an urban area and never transport more than your briefcase and your two kids. Having a 6-burner chef range and not ever making more than scrambled egg. Or walking around in scrubs if you're not a surgeon or health professional at his/her place of work.

nosoccermom, but why should you be allowed to dictate what other can buy and how they use those things? You start to go down that slippery slope, right?

Maybe someone just likes the look of a pickup truck. Maybe the Land Rover owner want a luxury vehicle that rides higher. Maybe the owner of the 6-burner stove can afford a large house/kitchen than would look odd without a large stove, but they don't have much interest in cooking. If someone feels comfortable wearing scrubs, why shouldn't they?

i have got to say that i have never seen bench seating in a formal dining room, but i definitely wouldn't want it! i prefer sitting with a back for my chair, so i generally wouldn't like backless benches, but i do like sitting in booths in more casual restaurants- nice and cozy!

i have a single handle faucet in the kitchen which i love- i guuueesss there was a very small learning period- down for cold and up for hot, but TG i am still young enough to remember simple things like that! this wasn't the 1st single faucet i have ever operated, so it was simple. i definitely dislike the old taps that have a cold and a hot faucet... mixing in the sink to make warm is not for me!!!
i also have a single lever in the shower that i love- much simpler/quicker to adjust water temp... and no change of pressure while doing so!

re: the XL suvs... they are a huge waste of gas that probably won't be allowed at some point in the future, but they only bother me in parking lots and on narrow bridges! very few of the people i know who drive them drive them for towing purposes-- they are the modern day station wagon for moms for sure!!
i think it would be awesome if parking lots required oversized vehicles to park in a designated area!!!
i never, ever think status when i see them, but i guess some do... imo, people who flaunt 'status' make themselves easier targets for crime, and as shania would say 'that don't impress me much!' lol
i usually don't like to call 'look at me' in any way and just prefer understated looks overall. but, really, to each his own-- if someone wants to drive luxury cars, wear flashy jewelry, decorate lavishly, etc because they can, go for it! i like to live comfortably, so if i bought a car that made me feel like people were ogling or if i felt i couldn't muddy it up, or if i bought a table or furniture that i couldn't relax on/put my feet up on, i would hate that!!!
i don't like/get the mcm trend, don't like the duvet cover trend-if it is one, don't like the slipcover trend, don't like the animal head/antler in the home look- love them in nature! didn't love the ORB trend, but that seems like it is easing up- don't see it everywhere anymore!

Books placed on shelves with their spines in and the page edges facing out--Genevieve Gorder does this on HGTV and it drives me crazy. Maybe because I'm a retired librarian!

I am not dictating anything. I'm just saying that I personally find certain things pretentious, such as displaying objects or behaviors that are not used the way they are meant but are "in". And yes, a range is a good example because it is meant for cooking and not for filling up a large kitchen or house. It's like buying a 8K bike for a 12-year old --- unless s/he needs it as a competitive cyclist, it is meant to impress. And all I'm saying is that I wouldn't be impressed, just as I'm not impressed by people driving expensive cars, or living in 8000 sqft houses, or having libraries that obviously nobody reads in.

But I am not sure that being annoyed by it isn't as nonproductive as being impressed by it or jealous of it. (And yes, if you use words like "pretentious" and "not used they way they are supposed to be" --it annoys you)

Some people spend what you may consider lots of money because to them it's really not. If your income is $1M per year, spending 10x what someone who makes $100K is just relative. And just because someone spends a lot on material items does not mean they aren't charitable.

I have known dishwashers and cleaners who make minimal salaries and still send a Lot of it back to Mexico, while most official citizens would consider themselves impoverished.

It's very easy to tell people who make more money (or less) than you do what you think they should do with it.

This post was edited by palimpsest on Sat, Nov 30, 13 at 22:05

LOL!

Trendy sure is controversial. Who knew?!?

ps - my pick up truck is a necessity. We use it to bring all this trendy useless crap home!!

nosoccer, so the only "good" people are the ones who not only earn exactly what you do, but also spend it in exactly the same way? Not a game anyone can win. How sad to never be happy for someone's hard work and be consumed by such judgmental thoughts.

All people, even "good" people, have qualities that can be described with words that have negative connotations. Jane may be pretentious with her appliance choices considering she purchased "pro" appliances and actually cooks nothing more than Easy Mac. Perhaps Sue talks too much. Perhaps Sam loads her bookshelves with books she's never read (and never will) where Mary loads her bookshelves with every knick knack she could buy at Homegoods, but doesn't own a single "tangible" book. Just because someone finds that behavior odd doesn't mean they assume they are a "not good" person. Just like finding it odd that someone would assume that others find people to be "not good" based on one relatively minor quality doesn't mean I think chispa is a bad person. I just find it to be an odd quality. We all have odd qualities.

I'll bite on the SUV thing. I have the same dislike of SUVs that others on the thread express. Yet I drive one. Why? After getting sandwiched between two SUVs in an accident that wasn't my fault and that I could do nothing to escape or avoid, I compared the damage between my sedan (front and back end completely crumpled) and the two SUVs that sandwiched me (a few minor dents). I drive my children around daily. My feelings on SUVs weren't strong enough to outweigh the desire to be the minorly dented vehicle instead of the totaled vehicle should my children be in the car next time.

Once this reaches 150 posts, let 's start a new one on religion & politics.

If you are calling people pretentious for a whole laundry list of items they own, that you don't like or can't afford, then you aren't thinking too many "good" thoughts about them.

Where will you draw the line for being pretentious with pro-appliances? Every meal has to be from scratch with Cordon Bleu recipes? You have to have a degree from a Culinary Institute to be allowed to own them? What if you don't cook but hire someone to cook on your pro-appliances? Less pretentious or more?

Again, all I can think to say is ... How sad to never be happy for someone else's hard earned successes and be consumed by such judgmental thoughts.

Meangoose...Like your style. And OT, which your name reminded me of. We had geese at one time. I couldn't work in the garden without being aware of my backside and where they were. Not sure why we had them now, perhaps for eggs. Always had a long stick close at hand....they were "Meangeese"

I don't think nosoccermom needs to be singled out for this line of thought.

I think it's pretty common on GW that the closer you are to the median, the more acceptable you are. Thus, it is okay to call vertical blinds hideous or shiny brass cheap, ugly and dated , but woe betide the person who doesn't like grommet panels or satin nickel because you might hurt someone's feelings.

Only the people who are just like the average person have feelings worth worrying about, apparently. One of the reasons I keep getting chased off of this forum is because I don't like some things that are popular with the majority, and by disagreeing with the majority, I am insulting to them. If I were criticizing the same list of things that everyone else does (which are items that are still manufactured and still have new choices added so *someone* must be buying them)--I would never have a problem.

Woah, I didn't say anything about the morality of people with chef ranges. Also, the fact that I'm not impressed by certain things isn't related to envy or because I can't afford them.So, maybe you're a bit judgmental, not to say, insulting here?

Also, there's a distinction between "being annoyed" and not "being impressed" by certain behavior. People driving Hummers annoys me because it affects me negatively. They pollute, they take up space, they waste energy, they endanger cyclists because of lack of visibility, and yes, I do judge them negatively because I find their behavior anti-social and unpatriotic, especially if I see them with a sticker that says "support our troops."

@romy: Love the idea :)

nosoccermom, you're aces in my book. Yes, let's do religion next!!!

I'll bite. I don't get the hate thing, maybe it is just the wording but it seems rather judgmental.

I drive a Range Rover HSE and absolutely love it! I didn't buy it for my neighbors or friends or the people in small cars at the grocery store. I have had mine since it was new 10 years ago and it will be soon replaced with a new one (love that new body style).

Speaking from the experience of driving a Grand Caravan, a Suburban and the RR, there are always even larger trucks, vans and SUVs on the road and in parking lots.....I don't find it upsetting or cause for negative emotions. I live in Southern California where freeways are common and am no where near snow. I don't work outside so commuting is not an issue and our kids are grown - no longer a soccer mom.

The entire country was encouraged to downsize our fuel needs buy purchasing a new car a few years ago - so just what kind of carbon footprint does the manufacturing of a new auto generate? We just don't drive that much any more.

Oh, we didn't put in air conditioning when we custom built our house 7 yrs ago, something that extremely uncommon in our area - do I get points for that?

If you want to get into a meritocracy of green living and patriotism based upon the least use of natural resources, then it's not just the people driving Hummers who have to be put under the microscope.

What about someone who commutes alone in a car long distances every day? Has two houses? Travels a lot on airplanes that aren't full? Has any sort of recreational vehicle?

What about anyone who has an extra room in their house?
What about anyone who lives where they need to use a lot of heat in the winter or a lot of cooling in the summer?

If you want to start talking about patriotism, I suppose the person who lives in a multifamily dwelling in a temperate climate where neither heating or air conditioning is used much, who walks everywhere and never travels...wins. That's why these judgments about people who have or use "too much" based mostly on the opinions of s/he who doesn't have or need as much (but is not impressed or jealous) --get so ridiculous.
Everybody can be put under this microscope and I think the results could be rather surprising: the carbon footprint is way too complex for me to understand.

I'll agree. I think Hummers are a ridiculous vehicle. On a Freudian level I will even call them a gigantic prosthetic penis. How's that for a judgment? But, they are no longer even manufactured for the public, so the market has spoken. But I don't think that every negative trait in the book including anti-patriotism needs to be thrown at the person who owns one.

This post was edited by palimpsest on Sun, Dec 1, 13 at 11:02

Seduced my marketing, hitting exactly the right spot for that person. So much money and manipulation is put into the marketing of products that we cannot know for sure why we pick one thing over another. Comfort, nostalgia, family, power, status are all used to convince us of the item's value to us. Some of the items mentioned here- luxury suvs and pro ranges- have put mega money into elevating their items into the status symbol level that it is inevitable that many people will buy them for want way more than need. Why criticize each other for how we are influenced by these forces? We all buy into some brand, trend, fad, we all get manipulated.

I think the issue is that everyone has likes and dislikes and that is ok. Feelings are hurt when people begin to explain or excuse their likes or dislikes in order to persuade others that their preferences are the right preferences for all . I dislike the color yellow for no logical reason other than it congers up a bad feeling with in me. I understand many like it for it congers up feelings of happiness. Neither is a wrong feeling and neither feeling needs to be explained to try and change the other point of view. We should be able to just say I like this or dislike that without it turning personal and without needing to defend our preferences.
I have many things this forum does not like or even hates, it does not make me question my choices nor does it hurt my feelings. I have them for they were the right choices for me. I also dislike many popular things that others love and I should hope that my dislike would not negate your happiness with your choices. If you feel personally attacked be someone not liking your personal choices than you probably never really loved them to begin with.

LOL Romy! I wonder if religion and politics would be less contentious than trendy? Who knew?

What I dislike strongly as a trend is big for the sake of being big. Guess that applies across the board. Looked at new construction in 2003 and so many of the houses had massive mouldings, and BIG everything. Built a house that had a too-big living room then had to buy oversize furniture for it.
I dislike dishes that are too big, silverware that is too big, ... Tuscan seems to be the embodiment of oversize.
MCM seems to be bringing size back into a reasonable proportion, but I really don't like MCM. I grew up mid century. Interestingly, I like vintage that is older than me, not my age! I'd guess that most of those embracing MCM are younger.

I've always had old houses, have renovated 5 of them, and loved the separation of rooms. But now we're building and I'm embracing a totally open floor plan because it works for how we want to live at this stage of our lives. Would have driven me nuts when I had little kids.

I think the very nature of identifying a trend to hate (or strongly dislike) means one gets to feel a bit self righteous. The "I'm above loving this thing that the masses are embracing". Which I think is why this topic has struck such a strong chord.

Btw, the one vehicle we own is an SUV. But LOL, it's a small SUV as they go these days.
It works for us and I'll be danged if I'll apologize for owning or driving it.

"How sad to never be happy for someone else's hard earned successes and be consumed by such judgmental thoughts."

Seriously? I'll try to state it more bluntly: thinking a stove choice is pretentious given the person's lifestyle (never cooking) does not equal hating someone. It does not equal refusing to acknowledge or celebrate someone's success. No one is sitting at home, missing work and chewing their nails with fury over the thought that there are people with underutilized BlueStars or whatever. If you invent the cure for cancer, I assure you I'll celebrate your success even though I might think it odd if you buy a boat with your well-earned money but the boat never touches the water.

Also, it's kinda strange to assume that because a person owns something expensive, they've worked hard or achieved someone remarkable. Perhaps they inherited the money, or their achievement was fraudulent, or they are neck-deep in debt. Neither having money (or material goods) nor completely lacking money assures you that a person is "good."

I don't think this thread was supposed to be about good or bad people. It was supposed to be about trends that bother some people and why. It's okay to disagree with the things that other people choose to buy. I think it's interesting to read what other people think about the choices that we could all make.

I just finished remodeling my kitchen, and we added a prep sink. I am the only person I know IRL with two kitchen sinks. If I had to guess I'm sure some people I know find it frivolous, since I obviously could survive with one sink. That's okay for them to feel that way since *I* am content with my choice.

If someone else wants to buy a Hummer and outfit it with bookshelves full of unread color-matched books and owl statues....um, okay. I'll bite and say I find that ridiculous. But if they're happy with it, fine. I will assume they are a good person until proven otherwise by dastardly behavior, and I will think their car and shelf purchasing choices are down right strange.

"No one is sitting at home, missing work and chewing their nails with fury over the thought that there are people with underutilized BlueStars or whatever."

Except for me --- and now I have to add your second prep sink to my list of potential grievances and worries.

@pal. It was the triple combination of Hummer, "support the troops in Iraq" sticker, and running cyclists (my kid) off the road.

"No one is sitting at home, missing work and chewing their nails with fury over the thought that there are people with underutilized BlueStars or whatever."

Sure there are. It's called envy. I don't think it makes people miss work, though.

Everyone probably knows at least one person like this.

I just posted this on the other side.
I have one! I hate, abhor and detest this:

Why oh why must movie makers add unnecessary crudity to family films?
Our three generation family, of both sexes, thoroughly enjoyed Disney's new Frozen....barring the one OVER- THE-TOP , out of nowhere, bit of grossness: ' all men pick their noses and eat it, too.' Is this my weakness? Give me a flatulence joke if you must, but this was revolting to me. The theater ( Friday following TG) was packed. No one laughed. Litle boys and grown men don't need it. When will they learn?
I want to give deserved credit to the makers of Nemo, etc. for not caving in to this trend. I believe it's Dream Works.
Marti

Actually, my point, which started this, was the "underutilized" BlueStars who were bought not because they are actually used but for other reasons (on which I was speculating). This might be another interesting thread:
Why do people buy a 48" chef range if they or their hired help do not use it?

I hope books aren't going out. My DIL is a Children's Librarian.

I think homes are so personal it's difficult to judge them. I'm very happy to go to other homes. I appreciate homes where people don't make their home a priority. I'm reminded of my Pediatrician friends home. Busy being a Dr and raising two young kids, one of whom is a Special Needs chid, their house is always disheveled. Her DH is a Vintner. We love spending time with them and love it even more that they are unapologetic for it. They are the best hosts ever!

Each to their own, I happy to know all of my friends, whether or not they have a Sub Zero or a thrift store refrigerator. I seriously do not care. If people are coming to see my house instead of me, they can stay home.

Utilization is a good question.

Some of it has to do with "fitting into the average or median" as was mentioned (in a different way).

I have been to parties at my boss's house and have seen the appliances are all top-of-the-line and the cooking appliances are probably rarely used to capacity. They go out to eat at least half of the week, and the mother-in-law, who lives in has her own little kitchen and probably cooks ordinary things for the kids or family in the main kitchen. The reason I mention parties is that these are routinely catered by someone who sets up a kitchen in the garage. Only the owner's dishwashers get used (if they use their own dishes).

But, they would never be able to sell their house without the top of the line appliances in it.

I also know some former soccer parents who were excluded from the car pool until they got a giant SUV that was approved by one or two other of the soccer parents. They were glad to take the kids around in their ordinary car but one or two other parents decided their kids would not be safe unless they had an SUV, and then didn't want to give My friends' kids a ride if their kids weren't getting one.

The pressure to conform can be intense.

There's nothing new about people using the display and demonstration of wealth and economic status, power, to try to assert themselves above others. ?

I don't think anyone mentioned that it isn't the "stuff" that's "annoying", it's the attitudes that can go along with it. If you've ever lived in a wealthy area, you'd know what that's about (for a lot of people, certainly not everyone -- it's not too hard to tell the difference between the two). And as long as they're dragging others into their game with their condescending attitudes, criticizing them for it is fair game, imo.

And to say rich people don't realize things are expensive because they are so darn rich relative to jealous ole you, is not true. While they might not have to worry about spending as much as some others do, they do pay attention to prices and can resent them just as much as those of lesser income. Even more so if they feel they are being taken advantage of, for instance, being targeted by neighborhood or income level. Often the rich ones are some of the most frugal people around, spending wisely not extravagantly. The person with the hand soap bottle turned upside down to use the last few drops? Could be one of the richest people you know, lol.

I think some of the resentment towards "rich people" ( not just those with more money than us) is that they lose touch or never really understood, how the common folk live and think about money.
I see it all the time on this board and probably do it too, mentioning something that is really cheap, to me, yet, to many people, is wildly unaffordable/unthinkable.
I did not grow up with "house help" of any kind, yet there seems to be a subtle underlying theme here that most people have and use some kind of help, go on vacations. It was never for us a matter of driving a smaller car, having a car in itself was a big deal. Fast food was a treat so was a matinee movie. So, in a sense, I feel the same thing people with a lot less money than me might think about me, just having a car.

I work closely now with people who are almost homeless and their way of thinking about simple things like food, utilities, cars, etc.- the things many consider basic so we can have the luxury of focusing in on decorating- is humbling and ever mindful to be grateful for all the things I do have in mind, body and possessions.

meangoose, I'm trying to make a point and I know the difference. Pal stated my point pretty well.

Yes, it is "okay to disagree with the things that other people choose to buy", but I feel a person crosses the line when they insult/judge the people and not the object.

There is a difference between saying you hate 8000 sq.ft homes because they are expensive to heat and you would hate cleaning them versus saying people who have 8000 sq.ft. homes are pretentious or keeping up with the Joneses.

There would be outrage if a thread was started that labeled those with smaller or older homes/cars as lazy, unmotivated, plain, etc. Why is it acceptable to judge/label/insult if the other person has more than you, but the opposite is not?

There will always be people with more or less, each with their own needs and wants. I don't know how they came to their decisions or what their finances are. I'm far from perfect, but try hard not to judge/label people in this way. It isn't a good trait.

The ill feelings against suvs are more about being forced to deal with them than anything else. They are a danger to people in other vehicles as well as people walking in parking lots. The insurance agencys have noted that there are a record number of people being backed over in parking lots because drivers cann,t see them and pull out to fast for someone to get out of thier way. Backup cameras are being mandated by the goverment to address this issue. I cann,t remember when it goes into effect though.Just saw something about it awhile back. Tall suvs also make people feel like they have to buy one just to be safe on the road because they don,t want to be drove over in a wreck against one. Its the reason I will be giving my daugher one of my trucks when she starts to drive in a year. Many non suv drivers feel resentful and put apon because we are forced to deal with negative side effects of someone elses vehicle choise whether we want to or not it gets shoved down our throats every time we are on the road. Most people just aren,t honest about why they are driving them. I haul feed ,gravel ,beding , a horse trailer and 5th wheel trailer and live out of town on a hill with 700 feet of gravel drive way and have never needed one yet in almost 40 years of driving. If you need it fine but if you don,t then please consider buying something that works just as well that doesn,t sit so high that it impeeds your line of vision as well as others.

Gosh, this has been pretty interesting reading. We're kind of all over the place in these debates, likes and dislikes, etc. DH drove an SUV for three years, disliked it, bought a honda. I drove a station wagon when we left Manhattan for our stint in St. Louis, then moved on to minivans for hauling our three kids, dogs and friends to activities and a lake home. Now I drive a Prius and DH drives a Leaf. We have a secondhand pickup for hauling stuff and DH keeps his VW convertible for longer drives than his 8 minute commute to work. He would love a Tesla, and in a few years when they've proved their staying power, will probably get one.

I hate sitting on benches and would not like to ask even a child to sit on one---- they're not conducive to relaxing talk after meal. My dining room is still red, but we repainted over every brown wall in this house when we moved in 8 years ago, and, ironically, I am now about to paint a latte color downstairs :-)

I like fiberglass tubs and surrounds that are easy to clean and keep clean, even if it's someone else who's doing the cleaning. I think books are the only "decoration" bookcases need, and like open concept when it's been designed by somebody who knows what he or she is doing with the concept, instead of just creating big empty spaces for the sake of calling them open.

When I see a teenager driving a Hummer I judge everyone involved in that decision, whoever they might be--- the dumb kid, the dumber salesman, the dumbest parents. I don't judge their morals or care about their net worth, I am ONLY judging their choice of vehicle, but I AM doing it and don't apologize for judging something I think is stupid. I don't share my disdain with them or talk about them behind their backs if I know them. Others are welcome to judge anything about me they think is ridiculous or unnecessary, and there's probably someone out there who does. I couldn't be more indifferent to it.

Overall, I don't really follow trends and believe that if I like something, that alone makes it worthy of having, doing, or making. So, not trendy, just....uber opinionatedðÂÂÂ

Bumblebeez is right on here "I don't know why anyone feels the need to justify how they do/don't spend money. There will always be the haves and the have nots and conspicuous consumption."

I wish the word hate were not so dam trendy. Discussing decorating likes and dislikes is a ridiculous trend already, Then using ugly words like hate just adds to the ugliness. Getting ruffled feathers is an even more ridiculous trend.

Haves and have nots is a whole nother bag. I have decided to rename the term to has brains or half brained. And nothing to do with a person's stuff or economic standing.

By the way, I see tons and tons of posts asking for window treatment advice. These cause me so much angst, I simply do not like covering windows. I don't hate curtains though and certainly not the folks who 'think' they need them. But...the valance needs to go, they are seriously ugly!!

Can't wait for the religion thread to come rolling in - I shall prepare for fun ;)