Geez, chill out, Chloe. You have a gorgeous new house, which means you have plenty to be happy about, to be grateful for, to be busy with rather than expending energy on stuff you can't control.

The animals will be fine.

And some day, this will be the house/place that is hard for you to move from. Go with the flow. It's not cancer. Enjoy it!

Hang in there, Lady. It will take some time, but you will all settle in and love your new home :)

Ohhhhhh ((((((((( hugs to you! ))))))))))))

Here's a trick for your kitties. (First I think it's very smart of you to use the shed and enclosure for a few weeks. Once they know the food is at this new location, they will have a powerful drive to remember it. A couple of things you can do to transition them from the shed to the great outdoors: (1) Put a harness and long lead on them and supervise them from inside the house. They will learn the area a bit at a time. (2) Put vaseline on their paws. They will lick their paws on learn the scent of the landscape. (3) Put some of your clothing, bedding, towels etc. outside. They can smell for up to about 2 miles away. If they do get disoriented, this will help them find their way back.

All the best to you. Time will help. It took quite awhile for my new house to feel like a home, even though it was much nicer and grander than the one we left behind....

This evening, light a fire in that amazing fireplace, have a glass of wine, watch the beautiful pine trees out those gorgeous windows, and just revel in it being your abode.

Thanks bestyears, but I cannot handle these two cats. They come close to me, but have never let me touch them. That does not make me feel any less for them, I love and care for them.
Tibb, easy for you to say, wish I could chill out. Sadly, we can't all control the emotions and compassion we have inside for animals and for things we are use to. You have no idea how I wish I wasn't like this, but I am. I never expected to feel this homesick, but I do!

So sorry you're feeling this way. This house was my first house and my next move will probably be to a nursing home! I couldn't imagine moving. But, I understand at some point when it's just all too much to care for some people do make that decision.

Anyway, back to you - I'm sure you'll adjust quickly. I would worry about the cats too, but then I always worry about animals. I don't give them enough credit to be smarter than I think they are.

I know how you feel, Chloe. When I moved several years ago, I knew no one in this town. We bought the place as a second home, sort of a retreat from the crazy city. But every time we came up I wondered why we were returning. So we packed up, quit our jobs, sold the house and started a different life. As much as I wanted to live here (and still love it after 13 yrs.) it was an adjustment. I'm like you in that I am also a creature of habit and change is not a welcoming feeling for me. But you will adjust in time. I made it a point to go walking every day to familiarize myself with the area. Also, it's a great stress reliever! I also volunteered at a couple of places, initially just for the socializing aspect of it.

Hang in there....take it a day at a time. Take comfort in knowing that you are exactly where you are meant to be at this point. Hugs!

Chloe, I get it. It's hard to leave old homes and their memories behind. Remember that it's the people inside, not the structure that holds you. Everything will gradually become familiar and soon it will even smell like home.

I can't advise you about your feral cats. If you can't lure them into carriers, I don't know what you will do. Are there any old neighbors who will take over feeding them? Have you contacted your local shelter or humane society? It's tough, I love cats.

Back in the day we used to move with cats and let them out almost immediately. That worked, until it didn't. After our next to last move, two of our three cats took off. One we found a couple of days later at the old house, 4 miles from where we'd moved. No idea how he did that, since he wasn't a wandering cat. The other one we never found. I would never go through that again.

The last time I moved I kept my then two cats inside for two weeks. They were NOT happy with me for a couple of days. But then they gave in and settled down. They were forced to establish their new territory in their new house. After two weeks I let them out and as long as they lived, they never left our property. Now I have two indoor-only cats and it takes a lot of the worry out of my life.

Good luck to you. You are grieving for your old house. It means you were happy there and that's a good thing. Be easy on yourself. You will come to love your new house.

Aw, Chloe, I know the feeling. I think you are having a bit of buyer's remorse. I don't think I have ever made a big purchase without feeling that way. I still miss my old car and cannot bond with the new one.

I remember my dog following me everywhere when we first moved here. He was constantly under my feet. He finally adjusted.

I hope it doesn't take too long for you to adjust, too. You surely will. I've lived in the same house for so long, I cannot imagine being anywhere else, but I sure would like to try it.

I can totally relate. When we moved into a new house we built I remember sitting at the kitchen table with my husband and our two dogs huddled under our feet as if we were going to escape. I looked at my husband and said I just want to go home. I felt foolish for having moved and uprooting all of us and I was NOT used to having close neighbors in the city like we have now. I couldn't get used to the noise, that every time I opened the front door there was someone out there doing something even at 4 in the morning there are actually people who jog at that hour!!! So there was no walking to the mailbox in your jammies or going without makeup for half the day working from home you can get to be a real hausfrau in the beauty department. We were used to letting the dogs roam around our land that we moved from and everyone knew our dogs by name. Now they must be leash walked and no one knows them and that they are sweet and that you need not be terrified of them. But those sweet ones have long passed over rainbow bridge. Fast forward 15 years and I have enjoyed living here so much. It has made our lives so much fuller and we have met so many people and things are close by and it's been wonderful. It did take me a long time to get used to the new house and we are on our third set of dogs since the move. We always have two at a time at least. The first ones died within the first couple of years since they were already old when we moved and then we went through the 12 year lifespan of most Goldens and lost two more and now have the two we have now. They are also getting old since we always adopt from the rescue and they are somewhat old when we get them.

Anyway, eventually it will seem like home and for now it's just something to grin and bear. It takes time to adjust and it's sort of overwhelming. The worry about the two cats is real and I know how I would feel about leaving them behind and worrying about getting them to the new place as well. Maybe someone could help you with that if they have experience in getting them into a cage or something for transport. They will like their new home in the end I am sure. They will have lots of fun exploring the new open area and still have you there to watch over them and feed them. Good luck, I know how you feel completely! It doesn't have anything to do with not being grateful or anything like that, it's just a human emotion and change is never easy at least for most of us. I think it's totally normal. One day at a time sweet one.

After living in our home 23 years, we designed and built a more contemporary style house to fit our needs overlooking a beautiful wooded ravine. The first day we woke up in the new house, we said it felt like we were living in a hotel! The home did not feel like home. It took about 5 years (after buying some new furniture, painting and landscaping that we realized we really loved our home. As each year went by, we loved it more. After 15 years, we moved again- long distance to a much bigger city and a less rural feel. I still miss the last house, but I've found a lot of wonderful things about this home and have actually settled in very quickly in this house.
Make sure to hang some of your favorite pictures and photos. Decorate with your favorite treasures.
Have friends and family over. Make new memories. I am sure you will be enjoying your new home soon.

((((chloenkitty))))

There is nothing stupid about your feelings. A big move to not only a different area but a different type of area is a big deal. The packing, the setting up, the getting to know a new area, it's all stressful and then the worry of your feral kitties and what will become of them - will they settle and will they stay. It's all an emotional roller coaster. It sounds like it would be a grand fun adventure but for those of us who are creatures of habit and like to be and feel settled - not so much.

You need to allow yourself to feel this way but know that these feelings will pass. Get out your Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations and make the house a home with them. It might help.

My mom just recently moved from her long time rural home into the city. But, she helped take care of a feral cat for the last several years with a few of her neighbours. When she sold her house she mentioned this cat to the new owners and they said that they would be thrilled to take over her part of the care which is the midmorning bowl of milk.

Been there, done that, and it was in the same area...3 different times/homes...and I LOVE change!

The feelings just happen! The move is always overwhelming, your things are still in boxes (Some of mine have never been unpacked with this last move.) furniture and art not situated just right, etc.. It's natural to feel the way you do. The weather doesn't help matters.

"I still miss my old car and cannot bond with the new one."

I thought it was just me. I didn't want a new SUV or like the new SUV make that my husband wanted me to get. He said that the warranty on the old SUV was about up and I needed to get a new car. Well, after almost 3 years, I have still not bonded with this thing. Now, DH is talking about getting another, but he wants to stick with the same make. I don't like the new model anymore than I do the one I have.

This post was edited by newhomebuilder on Mon, Nov 17, 14 at 12:55

When we moved into this house over 30 years ago, it took me at least 2 years to feel like it was HOME.

It was a house we wanted (I lusted after) and waited for 5 years for it to come on the market. Takes time.

ML

We moved from our first house almost 8 years ago. It was a real fixer upper that we put a lot of work into and still had a lot of issues when we sold. We built a house that is a million times nicer than the old house, but to this day, I pine for my old house. I don't know why, DH is totally befuddled, but I can't stop thinking about "my" house. It also hurts knowing that the yard isn't even a shadow of it's former self.

I know it's silly but I just can't help it.

I hope you can get your kitties to the new house soon. I think that once your pets are with you, you'll start appreciating your new house. It sounds like the deadline is causing the most concern, so try and break that down. What happens if you can't catch them by Friday? The humane society traps them? If so, can you prearrange to adopt them afterward? Just try and picture some " worst-case" scenarios and spend this week trying to mitigate them. I know from experience that all of your babies will soon love their new digs because they'll be happy when you are happy.

I owe kwsl a huge apology.

Good luck with the outdoor cats. I'm not a cat caregiver, but I love all animals so I can absolutely comprehend your concern. I hope everything works out well with them. Cats are incredibly intelligent animals so hopefully some of the wise words of previous posters will help them adjust and not lose their new home.

If your other animals are upset about moving, it might be because they know you're upset! Animals are so sensitive and you sound terribly upset. I bet if you can relax and settle in to your new home, they will settle right in with you.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Change is hard.

I have to admit though, that I didn't have that problem when we moved to our new home. Even though we left our old home of 32 years, I didn't shed a tear. I was so excited and thrilled with our new home that I had already been living in it in my mind for years. It is where we belong.

Re the cats, GF had to catch a bunch after her uncle passed who was supporting a whole colony. They used live traps, had them spayed and rabies shots upon capture and then managed to re-home them...the feral ones went to a horse farm as barn cats. They found that in addition to food, cat nip was a great lure to get them.

If you don't meditate, you should try it as it can truly help comfort you in your current state of grieving...which is what you are experiencing...the loss of your old home. Also, do keep a gratitude journal and write down every day something that you have to be grateful for, esp about your new home. It will help you adjust. Each living environment has its pluses and minuses. Focus on the positives, and the negatives will atrophy.

Here is a link that might be useful: Meditation for homesickness

I hope the upcoming holidays will be the first of many, many happy memories you will have in your new home. As soon as you get some happy, friendly events in your new home under your belt, you'll start to feel more attached to it. It will start to feel like home.

The outdoor cats -- that's a tough one. Perhaps call an animal shelter & see what they advise?

Annie: "Focus on the positives, and the negatives will atrophy." I love the word atrophy in this sentence and this sentence could apply to so many of life's situations. I'm going to remember this.

I would feel the same way you do - homesick for my old house, old neighborhood. I would miss my familiar grocery store and the familiar cashiers and butchers, the familiar clerks at my familiar service station.

I'd count my blessings and be thankful for my beautiful new house, but the homesickness would be a nagging discomfort in the background until the feeling eventually went away.

Enjoy the holidays in your lovely home. You will make wonderful memories there just like you did at your old home.

The posts about feeling sad about getting a new car made me laugh because on of my bf's said the same thing. She hates change so much that she cried getting rid of her car lol.

I will post pics as soon as I can of the house as I am having problem with my email at home and cell phone, that hasn't helped us getting settled. Since we are surrounded by pine trees, we have zero phone service and problems with internet. I feel lost. Hopefully I will have my personal email and phone at home up and running soon. I'm on my work computer now on my breaks and my pics are on my home computer so, when it's up and working, I will post them.

Thanks for all the words of encouragement. This really threw me for a loop, I never expected to feel sad like this, but then again, I haven't moved in a long time and wasn't attached to neighbors or a neighborhood like the one we just moved from since I was a kid. Helps to know you are not alone and not everyone is so strong when it comes to things like this. It's been a rough couple weeks with the move and we lost 3 family members in two weeks time, both of them only being in their 30's. Hard to keep things together with all this going on, but you all being so nice helps :) xo

Also, there is something odd going on with this post I think as there is a message or so in here that doesn't have anything to do with the subject. How does that happen? Weird.

So sorry for your loss...especially with some being young people. A warm home and familiar surroundings are always comforting when a loved one has passed away. No wonder you are feeling out of sorts.

I'm sorry you are so stressed. Even when there's lots to be grateful for, it's difficult to adjust at times. When my husband and I married we bought a sweet little two bedroom cottage in a small town. It was like living in a doll house (in a good way). It was the first place I ever owned and we decorated it on a shoestring budget. I loved that little house and when I think of it, it represents every sweet and good thing about our lives together. After two years, DH felt the neighborhood was losing value so we put it on the market and bought a log home fixer on a lake. We moved in during a snowstorm in December and the furnace died. I remember sitting on the wood floor with snow blowing in between the logs missing my little warm cottage and thinking "what have we done". We got through the initial turmoil and settled in but DH was transferred out of state within a year. So the big plans we had for the log house never came to fruition. And all this from a gal who enjoys and welcomes change. I'm sure you are having a difficult time but be gentle with yourself, let yourself feel the emotions. They're just feelings, they won't kill you. Focus on the important stuff and soon all will be well. Good luck.

Oh Chloe! So much change is very hard on anyone. They say the biggest changes we can face are moving, death, a new job, a divorce etc. You already have two of those on your plate. I am so sorry for your loss and for how you feel now. I lost my mother, left my husband and moved to a new state all in matter of a month. I was like a snail without a shell. Talk about weepy! It was the hardest time of my life. I even left my two kids (ok dogs) with him as I got settled. Just seeing a cartoon show one night with a dog had me crying myself to sleep.

I know you are not going through the exact same thing, but I know what it is like to be thrown off mentally and how it feels to be lost with your emotions. It can feel like you will never get back to normal. But, you will. No one can really say just the right thing, but we can listen and share our own stories, so you know you are not alone in feeling this way. This forum is wonderful and we are here for you.

I hope once you are able to situate your kitties and as time passes you will start to see that dark cloud lift. It will. It just takes time.

Big ((((((HUG)))))

Time will be your friend, you need time to heal and ease into your new life, and you're surprised to be experiencing these strong emotions, I've felt like you in the past, caught off guard by negative feelings I could not shake off.

Embrace your feelings and give yourself the space and time to feel better, no matter how long it takes. Don't let anyone tell you to move on and stop feeling that way. You are slightly depressed , but you know this will pass. Keep us posted on your progress !!

(((Hugs))) Chloe, I totally understand how you can pine for your old home. When I was on the brink of my complete kitchen reno I started to mourn for my old, dated honey oak kitchen because I remembered all the wonderful meals and hours we spent their. I love my new kitchen and the functionality of it made the transition easy.

For now, take some time to curl up in a favorite chair with a good book and a hot cup of tea or coffee. Be good to and pamper yourself for a bit as you just went through a very stressful time. In a few moths you will probably love your new house. Wait until the first time you look out your beautiful windows and see a mother doe with her fawns or a beautiful red cardinal land on a snow covered branch. Your setting is beautiful and you will be fascinated with the beautiful wildlife you will see there.

I pray for an easy transition, peace, a blessed holiday season and many happy years spent in your lovely new home.

chloe, when I read your post I could feel your pain. I commend you for reaching out and expressing your feelings. I know someone that's moved and I think she is afraid to show her true feelings, so everything is always "ok", "doing great", when I can hear in her voice it's not. Change isn't easy for everyone.

Stay in touch and I hope and pray each day in your new home will become easier.

Chloe, I am very sorry you are feeling this way and are so stressed out. Besides the loss of young family members, which is heartbreaking enough, you have truly suffered a loss of your comforting surroundings as well.

Not having your familiar surroundings, worrying about your 2 cats and their welfare, and all the other things on your mind must truly have taken their toll.

Try to stay positive and, like others have said, relax and hopefully time will be your friend and allow you to ease into your beautiful new surroundings.

I want to thank all of you who gave me comforting words, I really needed them. I am not a negative, needy person, but sometimes everyone needs to feel a warm hug to make them feel better. We all go through things, good and bad. I am truly grateful for what I have, but that doesn't mean I can't feel sad about being away from the people and area I have come to love after all these years. I think this cold, gloomy weather doesn't help. I love our new house, there is no regret there, but I am a homebody and not having that comfort of the small street we lived on, all the people I know so well has been hard for me. I don't have much family left as my dad passed recently and my husband's family does not live in our area, so I admit, it can be hard. The loss of 3 people (all much too young recently) can't help but put you in a certain type of mindset. One left behind a sweet 6 year old girl and the other left behind 7 young children (yes 7) and his wife is pregnant with their 8th child so, it's been a lot at once.
The sad things that have happened have made me honestly be even more grateful for what I have, but we all have different brains and different emotions. I think I am a strong person, but sometimes we just break. The kindness of others such as yourselves, who know what I'm feeling truly helps. No one can take it away for us, but it does help to vent and hear from others who have been there and get through it and tell you it will be ok. Nothing wrong with showing your weakness from time to time :)
I look forward to showing you all the pics of my new house if my darn computer at home is ever up and working!

chloe, my heart goes out to you. My situation is somewhat different but still in the ballpark of yours I think. I posted elsewhere on it. I moved just a few months ago from a beautiful "completely done" condo to a house that needs so much done that I'm overwhelmed. The kitchen was such a disaster that I launched immediately into a kitchen remodel, adding a huge new layer of stress. I've made some major mistakes already in a KD and have serious doubts about my contractor's ability to do an acceptable job. Every room of the house needs work so I come home everyday to filth, dark, cold (it suddenly turned frigid here) and one problem after another. I have serious buyer's remorse but for the life of me don't know any option but to move ahead. I feel too old for all this self-imposed headache and wonder what is wrong with me. I am all by myself in this and, frankly, scared.
So I can relate to what you are going through but have no answers. Is the only hope "one day at a time"?

Hey Chloe, I just wanted to reinforce that it's OK to feel the way you do, and one of the things I love about GW is the fact that we can come here for emotional support, as well as practical advice. The comfort expressed here warms my heart!

And you are exactly right - just because you love your new house doesn't mean you can't miss your old neighborhood. There's no "wrong" way to feel.

Good luck with the kitties!

chloenkittty, I'm so sorry for the losses you've had. That in itself is enough to get you down. I absolutely understand the feeling you have about the move and the new home.

When my family was younger, we moved 5 times in 3 years. All but one of those times it was my choice, and I chose the new house each time. But as soon as the packing boxes hit the floor of each new place, my first thought would be, "What was I thinking?!" I suddenly hated the home that had seemed so right for us just a few weeks before.

Time and routine will change your outlook. As soon as your familiar belongings are arranged, and you are not so stressed and exhausted, everything will be better. Easy for me to say, I know--my last move was 20 years ago, but time has a way of smoothing the rough edges of our emotions, just as it has smoothed the rocks beneath us.

Chloenkitty I agree with tomatofreak above.
I work with a feral cat neuter and release program offered by our no kill shelter. If you are unable to even touch the cats you are not going to be successful moving them.
Check in your area for one of these neuter programs. You catch the cats in a live cage, and take them in for neuter; they usually do a rabies vaccination at the same time. They tip their ears a 1/4 inch so people will know they've been neutered.
I did successfully tame one young male after his neuter and did turn him into a house/out cat. However I was able to touch but not pick him up and this was after over one year of feeding. (I didn't have my live trap yet) He was friendly but completely freaked and bit my hand BADLY. He nicked a tendon and I had a nasty infection, had to do antibiotics. After his surgery I kept him in a very large cage in my summer kitchen for 6 months. He finally trusted me enough to allow me to bring him into the house. I tell you all this so you realize that it can be very difficult to TAME a feral cat enough to move them. Uphill battle.
Get them neutered and tell the new owners the house comes with cats. I have actually sold a house with cats :)
Chances are new kitties will come into your life at your new house and you will know you have done well by them all.
The neuter for ferals program here charges $35 for neuter and shots. I would NEVER try to move an unaltered feral cat.
I've been doing this for years.

We moved 3000 miles away and after the newness wore off, I felt homesick also. We went back home for Christmas (after being gone
1-1/2 years). We all felt that going back was not nearly as good as we had thought it was. We ended up enjoying our new home and made new friends and stayed there for 11 more years.

I moved one hundred miles over a year ago to be closer to my daughter. It took quite a while for me to get used to the new neighborhood, stores, doctors, etc. It was a lot of change.

It did get better. I do feel at home here now.

Regarding moving the cats, i too have been involved in trap and release for 10 years. I have a great group of friends and we all do it. I've probably trapped and spayed/neutered over 100 cats on my own and then add in what my friends did and that's several hundred cats we've had fixed.

The two particular cats in my card were fixed 2 1/2 years ago and I love them very much. They love and trust my husband and me as well, but just don't want to be touched. Sometimes i think it's best when outdoor cats don't let you touch them because there are mean people out there who want to cause them harm.

A single man purchased our house and my best friend actually knows him. While he's a nice guy, my friend says he's not an animal person. One of our neighbors recently moved so the house is empty and the other closest go out of town all the time so leaving them behind wasn't an option. Also, I love these cats and would worry they wouldn't be cared for like I would care for them. I literally shovel them out in winter and don't think many others would.

The thought of trapping and bringing these two cats with me was tearing me apart because inknownthey love their yard etc but I had to bring them. I had a custom shed made that is half fenced in and half enclosed. I trapped one yesterday and one today. There are no words how hard it was. My heart was breaking as the one just cried and cried. They are both as secure as I can make them, have warm beds and food but I know they are stressed and unhappy. The shed was quite costly and was the best i could think of. I did not want to stress my indoor cats out as they hate and will not accept the one outdoor cat. I have been praying hard that they adjust soon and forgive me and learn to trust me again. I will wait awhile before I let them out to roam free as I don't want them to run away. That will take awhile so they realize this is where they get fed.

Any other suggestions on how to make them happy are welcome.

I am actually feeling a little better as far as the home sickness. I think the anticipation of trapping those two kitties was getting the better of my nerves.

chloenkitty, I hope it works out and they stay with you. I have a few ferals that I trapped about 5 years ago when they were kittens (along with several moms and toms). It was a banner year for unspeutered cats and I ended up taking all the ones I caught to be 'fixed'. I let the adults go back home to their irresponsible owners, knowing they wouldn't breed again. The kittens were too small and vulnerable so I kept them - all five! One became a real cuddlebug, one is almost that sweet and the other three remained untouchable - until a few weeks ago when one approached me to be petted! Apparently, it had to be his idea.

Our outdoor cats live in a large totally fenced habitat that is part of the larger yard. My OH built them a kitty 'condo' with 4 cubbies, a 'loft' and 'basement'. If they could get out, I have no doubt they'd be off and exploring and getting into trouble.

Thanks for letting us know what you do for cats. There are too few who do.

We have 3 feral, fixed cats outdoors. I worry about them constantly. It doesn't do any good to worry. I want to move back home in the next 2 years or less. I can take one tame cat with us the others will have to stay here. I hate having to leave them. I get too attached. Hang in there!!

choloenkitty, what a good soul you are. I am so glad you managed to trap the two cats and transport them to your new home. Wishing you and them well.

I just wanted to add what a huge heart you have! I hope all is going well with cats and your new home.

So happy to hear you got the cats. I know this is so hard, and it would break my heart, too, because neither option seems good. Tomatofreak, I really like your cat enclosure!

When we got married I moved here with DH and I really missed "my" home. Now that we've done some work and bought some things, it feels like "our" home, but it took awhile.

Got a newer car almost a year ago, and it is finally starting to feel like "mine" just now. Even though it's the same manufacturer but a different model, I still miss my old one with the 5-speed, although the heated seats in the new one are a huge plus.

I am SO glad you caught them! I know it is an old wives'tale, but my mother always put butter on the paws of our cats when we moved-this was in the 50s and early 60s when our cats were indoor/outdoor pets. She said then they knew they were home. ðÂÂÂ. Worth a try anyway.

Been in our home 42 yrs. raised two daughters and have put a lot of blood, sweat, tears and Money into it. Will be moving to our newly built home when it is finished around May 2015.
I know I will miss the house, but it is just a structure. I will take all the memories with me in my heart:)

Bless your heart choekitty. I hope you are feeling better about your new home now, and the kitties too. You do indeed have a big heart to care for these cats and I'm glad you have built a structure for them. I'm lucky that my cat had a total change of heart after I trapped and neutered him and decided to become a pet. I did think at one time that he would have to stay here if we ever moved because he couldn't be trapped.

Do you have a low cost place to take these cats for spay and neuter? I couldn't find anywhere except my vet when I trapped this guy. And do you have a trick for trapping them? Cats show up here from time to time and I've never been able to lure them into the trap using tuna or canned cat food. I figure after being dumped out here, they are just too wary of traps.