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txmarti

I'm a plant killer. Are there any fake shrubs, not too expensive

TxMarti
9 years ago

I keep forgetting to water the potted plants next to the door. Right now I have rosemary, and have killed one and traumatically stunted the other one.

I'd like to put some fake plants in the pots, but I can't spend hundreds on them.

Comments (26)

  • dbarron
    9 years ago

    Please back away from the plant....slowly now...
    Call your local rescue organization and arrange for pickup of the surviving plant.

  • gyr_falcon
    9 years ago

    Yes. But. Compare to yanking out patina-graced butcher block and installing contact-paper covered plywood in it's stead.

    Statuary, interesting pieces of wood, such as driftwood, a mosaic urn, old oars, stained bamboo sticks or sections of birch trunks, a nicely-colored hunk of rock, pieces of old farm machinery, a surfboard, hang a string of drying chili peppers, coconuts or gourds, or whatever. Why use fake plants? I'd prefer seeing the dehydrated rosemary in the containers--just say you are drying your herbs. ;)

  • rhizo_1 (North AL) zone 7
    9 years ago

    I agree! Embrace your brown thumb completely but don't replace the dead ones with fakes.....they ALWAYS look fake, and that's not a good thing.

  • tibbrix
    9 years ago

    Why not abandon plants altogether and decorate with things that don't have to "survive" but also don't look fake?

  • hoovb zone 9 sunset 23
    9 years ago

    An automatic watering system?

  • lam702
    9 years ago

    Is there anything worse than fake plants outside? Sorry but from a gardening lover, that is something I hate to see. Like those fake geraniums in pots, full of red flowers in the middle of a January snowstorm. Fake looks like what it is - fake. Try some of Gyr falcon's suggestions if you feel you absolutely cannot grow real plants. Or, check out the gardening forums on GW and find out what is the easiest, no fuss plants you can grow in your location. With so many different kinds of plants to choose from , some need pampering but there are those that can take a good amount of neglect. Find out what those are and go from there.

  • jterrilynn
    9 years ago

    I think your plants are faking it. They have to learn to take a bit of responsibility and not be so needy.

    When my plants don't realize the rules they get replaced by a plant that "gets it".

    There are real plants out there that will fit with you and the amount of care you want to give.

  • Kiwigem
    9 years ago

    No Fakey McFakersons outside!

    Get a pair of reclining lion statues or a couple of dried woven willow topiaries or something. There are plenty of no maintenance options that aren't pretending to be something they're not.

  • rockybird
    9 years ago

    I would not put fake plants either outside. Can you hold a funeral for the one that died to implant in your brain the trauma of killing it so that you remember to water them? Or get a watering system?

    I am like you - not good with green things. I bought a plant at ikea once that I was determined to keep alive. I gently placed it in the front of the car seat with items arranged around it so it wouldnt fall for the ride home. I was careful not to spill the dirt. I got home and watered it for a number of weeks. Then I forgot to water it to awhile. When I remembered it, I was surprised to see how lush and green it still was. I made a mental note to buy more of these plants as they seemed very tough. When my mother came to visit, I asked her what type it was. She said IT'S FAKE! LOL It even had plastic for dirt! I just never paid much attn. to it. When I looked at it from then on, it seemed so obviously fake. I dont know why I thought it was real. I guess I was working a lot and always home in the dark, so maybe I didnt get a good look at it.

  • Kiwigem
    9 years ago

    Rockybird, that is a fantastic story- LOL!!!

  • annzgw
    9 years ago

    Well, like others here I don't particularly like the faux blooming plants and the trees that are poorly made, but I have nothing against the faux conifer type greenery since it can be difficult to tell if it's real or not until you touch it. I'd start by checking out Overstock, TM, HomeGoods, etc.
    How large a plant are you needing?

    Here is a link that might be useful: Just a few at O

  • bbstx
    9 years ago

    I had a friend who had a built-in brick planter box by her front door, typical of 1960-ish ranch style houses. Try as she may, nothing would grow in the planter box. She put silk purple wandering jew. It looked totally real. She even had someone ask her for a cutting.

    Like annz, I think you might be able to get away with it if you choose foliage over floral but be cautious to make sure that it looks real from a reasonable distance.

    If I were going to use faux foliage outdoors, I'd make my own rule for myself that when the color began to fade or change, I would make myself replace it.

  • monicakm_gw
    9 years ago

    rockybird, what were you smokin'? (lol...literally!)

    I have a whole yard automatic sprinkler system and still can't keep things alive. Well, they're alive but not thriving. I gave up having plants in the house when I killed an indoor cactus :o BUT, I would never have fake plants.

  • Annie Deighnaugh
    9 years ago

    We do fairly well with plants, but I wanted something on the porch near my door, but being under cover and on the north side, no plant would survive. So instead I put our concrete Chinese lions...they don't need watering, don't die, and help protect the house from evil.

  • TxMarti
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    Gyr_Falcon, " But. Compare to yanking out patina-graced butcher block and installing contact-paper covered plywood in it's stead." I had to laugh, but really, if it looked good from the street, I'd do it. "I'd prefer seeing the dehydrated rosemary in the containers--just say you are drying your herbs." Aha, that's what the rosemary on the right decided to do. I never did understand why the one on the right died and the one on the left survived when they had the same soil and same amount, or lack of, water. Too bad it wasn't taller when it self-dehydrated.

    I really can't see statuary beside my front door. Dried branches maybe. I did google woven willow topiary and found some great ideas.

    My thought when I bought these rosemary plants early in the summer was that they would grow to be about a foot tall by December and I could decorate them like little Christmas trees. Obviously that isn't going to happen.

    I don't have a brown thumb when it comes to plants in the ground, and like jterrilynn said, if something doesn't grow, I usually replace it with something that will. But starting seeds and growing plants in pots usually ends in failure-to-thrive syndrome.

    The problems with these particular potted plants is that we never go in through the front door and out of sight, out of mind. There is also no outside faucet in my front yard. Weird, right?

    rockybird, I want that plant! If it fooled you when you had it in your hands, that's the plant for me. I've never paid attention to that kind of stuff at Ikea.

    annz, thanks for the link. There is a pair of cedar trees indoor/outdoor that might work. I'm going to try some of the ideas I found in the search first and if they don't work out, I'll get them.

    This is my porch. The pots need to be replaced, or painted. Something. The door needs to be painted too, so don't let that color influence your creative flow. I want to give it a makeover before I paint it though. It will be a grayish green color.

    This post was edited by marti8a on Sun, Oct 12, 14 at 13:01

  • NHBabs z4b-5a NH
    9 years ago

    From the photo, it looks like you have the same issue as AnnieDeighnaugh, no water unless you provide it, but more importantly, too little light. Your rosemary is a sun-loving plant, and there simply isn't enough light for it to thrive there.

    Either move your pots out to the edge of the porch rather than set back, or use something non-living. In warmer weather you may be able to use shade-loving plants such as ferns or hosta.

    I'm giving you some links to the blog of a Detroit area garden designer, Deborah Silver, who does fabulous containers, and the winter and some of the fall containers have at least some non-living decorations that may spark ideas such as bundles of cut branches, lights on a trellis, or piles of squash and pumpkins.

    Here are a few posts that give detailed instructions for how to assemble the winter containers.
    http://www.deborahsilver.com/blog/2013/11/
    http://www.deborahsilver.com/blog/homing-in-on-winterpart-2/
    http://www.deborahsilver.com/blog/?s=winter+containers

    Here is a link that might be useful: fall containers

  • caroline94535
    9 years ago

    Sad to say, but Rosemary needs lots of sunlight to thrive. I can't think of any plant that would thrive undercover, on the north, and restricted on water. Moss, maybe? If there was enough water.

    I like the idea of willow/birch twigs. I love your porch; I wish our front deck had an overhang. I could do so much with it then.

  • teacats
    9 years ago

    How about a couple of these arrangements in your pots?

    Really nice porch! :)

    Our brick is very similar! :) We have the same greeny-gray color on the siding -- and a glossy black front door ....

    Here is a link that might be useful: pinterest -- pin with willow twigs and faux fall leaves

  • teacats
    9 years ago

    ... or perhaps stacked pumpkins? Orange or white? :)

    Here is a link that might be useful: Stacked pumpkins in urns

  • teacats
    9 years ago

    You could also consider a "stack" of bigger-to-smaller grapevine wreaths -- maybe add small lights .......then add faux fall leaves or faux Holiday greenery .....

  • Kippy
    9 years ago

    How about some kind of succulent that just just have to remember to throw a glass of water on every now and then?

    I knew a guy in NJ who would "refresh" the fake plants every year by spray painting them. They thought they looked wonderful. I would have given them an award....for the tackiest front yard ever. They also had a fountain filled with stones so the evil cats could not take a drink and one of every statue he could by at Home Depot on the edge.

    I think I would remove the pots before I filled them with something fake

  • nutsaboutplants
    9 years ago

    How about a pot with purple wandering Jew and potato vine? The lime green and purple look wonderful together and they're easy to rake care of. No fakes please.

  • tibbrix
    9 years ago

    It's not a good situation for plants anyway. I'd decorate around that idea.

    Get a nice mat for in front of the door.

    Get a couple of interesting stone pedestals and put a gazing ball - there are some really neat ones out there - on each and put them on the dirt in the corner where the walkway meets the porch.

    Hang outdoor artwork on the walls.

    American/Canadian/whereveryouareflag

  • TxMarti
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    ROFLOL, nhbabs. That is exactly the blog I found when searching for images of topiaries! I bookmarked several of her ideas. I love the one with the pine greenery on bottom and the red sticks and berries on top.

    teacats, I like the stacked pumpkins and will probably do that in December. I've got a pumpkin/scarecrow thing that fits in those pots that I thought I'd try to find tomorrow.

    I had a mat. I bet the roofers moved it when they rolled their big magnet thing around there. I'll have to go find that too.

    You are all right about too much shade for a rosemary. The porch faces east so the pots receive light until about 10-11 a.m. I'm really surprised that one is still alive.

    This post was edited by marti8a on Sun, Oct 12, 14 at 17:13

  • violetwest
    9 years ago

    ooh, boy, that's a tough spot for plants. High quality topiaries might work if you are set on greenery -- they're so artificial looking anyway. Otherwise I agree with other posters that other decorative solutions would be better. I suggest something with lights to brighten the space up.

  • sjhockeyfan325
    9 years ago

    I am a notorious plant killer - friends once gave me a plastic (not just fake, but PLASTIC ) plant because they knew about my black thumb. Anyway, I've shopped for artificial (I just hate using the work "fake", accurate though it may be LOL) and seen many that are very very nice and real looking. They aren't cheap though. I'd be afraid to buy on Overstock only because these seem like something you need to see in person first.

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