I suppose divorce is out of the question-lol...

Do you have a garage or basement that could have a section turned into a "man cave" as people are now calling such places? It could be kind of cool in the right space, just not the den as you have described it now.

Then again, is he over 30? Any kids? Really, I think I would tell him he is too old for that now.

I'd build him a little room in the backyard. :) Do you have a basement? Or an extra room just for him?

Seriously? I'd have a conniption fit & threaten my dh with divorce! lol

When I read the Subject of this post I thought maybe you had a son moving into a Frat house and I was going to tell you, don't EVEN try to decorate it. They do it themselves with no help from us.

You incorporate that stuff into the room. He sees how it doesn't fit and you find things similar, with the same 'feel'. Then edit out the garbage and sooner than later, you get rid of the whole shebang. This is how I did our family room. It's DH's cowboy room and it had some gawdawful things in there. But I've managed to move in more tasteful items and he agrees it does look much better.

His mother still brings awful things over, but they have a tendency to disappear (darn dogs, always breaking stuff!)

How much of the rest of the house is "you" and how much is "him"? How important are the signs to him? Does he really like them, or is he just trying to inject himself into the design?

I know I'm in the minority in my circle of friends, but my husband and I decorate together; we each have veto power in rooms that we share, except our office-- where he hangs his ugly framed newspaper from some Red Wings victory and his Duff beer sign (fictional beer!) and I have my bordering-on-tacky romantic art posters and Strawberry Shortcake (yes, really--love those dolls) collection. For my parents, it was some awful bull fighting wall hanging that dad wanted to display for years...when she finally let him have it, it only lasted a year or two, and then he was able to part with it.

So, for me it would depend on whether he has a spot he feels he can decorate and make his, and if the answer is no, and you have such a space for yourself, I'd give him this one. If you have to share the den, I'd offer to search for beer signs or something like them that you'd both appreciate.

Choose a paint color for the walls in order to help the beer signs fit in with the room as best as possible.And then try to artfully arrange the signs on the walls( if beer signs can be artfully arranged).

Well -- could you hang curtains/blinds on the French doors? LOL!

Just teasing!!! really!! :)

O.K. Measure the available wall space -- and try arranging the items as best you can -- and IF there is simply not enough wall space for ALL of his goodies -- perhaps he might choose the MOST special ones??

Or choose a wall color to help work them into the room decor! And pour yourself a lovely glass of wine ....

heeheeheehee .......

Jan at Rosemary Cottage

Is this a decor thing, or a control thing?
If it's decor, you can reason with him. If it's control, you will not win by confronting it...you have to accommodate it cheerfully and enthisiastically. Once he feels that you are with him and not against him, he will be more likely to let them go.

In either case, I'd do this. Clean and polish and touch up the things within an inch of their lives, so that they look their best. Choose one wall, and put all of the collection there, arranged as though it were an exhibition of those things, and lit like a museum wall. Running it around a corner can be an efficient way to corral it, get it out of the mainstream, make it a feature, and let him know it's important enough. Sometimes the juxtaposition of things, if it looks intentional, can actually bring life into a space that is otherwise serious.

Case in point...I touched up and framed my husband's enormous original 1960's movie poster from "Barbarella," and now men using our powder room are face to face with a wall filled with a big, buxom Jane Fonda, asking, "Who will save the universe?" It cracks everybody up, and looks wonderful in this otherwise fairly grown-up house.

Um... very, very dim lighting? Tell him it's called "mood lighting."

And warn him that if anything happens to that beautiful Venetian plaster wall--and you know that just one smack of a hammer on a nail will crack it--you will be shipping him off to a real frat house!

I agree with bronwynsmom. It's his house too and he should be able to display his things (even though they would make me cringe too). Hubby has an office and we've displayed some of his collected pieces in there. Luckily, we usually are pretty compatible in decorating.

tina

I also agree that it's HIS house too and you're going to have to compromise and figure out the best way possible to incorporate it.

I've been in the same position for quite some time now.
DH competitively brews beer. It's everywhere in our house. Ribbons that he's won, coasters from every out of the way bar that he visits, posters and tickets from beer expos that he goes to. I figured if I can't beat him I'd better join him. Our current compromise until he has his own den (of which I will also decorate) was to begin a shadow box of his coasters complete w/ decorative pin to tach them in and a grapevine wreath that I began tieing his ribbons onto. I saw that idea in an issue of either CL of Country Home done w/ horse show ribbons. DH needs to win more competitions so that I can fully cover the wreath. Posters go in IKEA frames w/ the tickets tacked in.

Currently it is all in the basement hanging up where he brews but honestly, if he wanted it in the office that we share and that company sees I wouldn't have a problem. I've just made sure that the display of it all is consistant w/ the way that I display everything else - in the most tasteful way possible.

Not gonna lie though, there is one bar light that is packed away ( I was scared) but it is legitimately packed away and not allowed out until I find the perfect spot for it. DH trusts that I won't forget about it so I never hear "Why can't I have my bar light?".

Don't look at it as a bunch of frat stuff. Look at it as a 'collection' and figure out how to display it as such. You will be much happier!

You didn't mention it but it there another room you could use these in instead? I do think it would be sweet to display the items and it will probably make your DH happy/proud?

I agree to use them all in a grouping or pick out only the most important ones if there's too many and he'll give.

Does he genuinely like them? Anyway to replace the junky ones with actual vintage stuff? The Mountie might be funny in the right spot. I like neon, but only amazing neon.

I guess I'd try to work with the collection, but not in the new den. Don't you have a mudroom or other space where these treasures would enhance the room?

I totally agree with bronwynsmom and ttodd. It is his house, too, and sometimes, you just have to compromise.

I completely agree with bronwynsmom and ttodd. I would probably tell my significant other that I didn't like them, but that I understood how important they were to him. I would come up with alternative suggestions for location or quantity, and then live with whatever compromise (or lack of compromise) we came up with.

Decorate your master bedroom with it. He'll have his beloved things and it will be out of public view. You can give up the MBR decor for a grown-up family room.

Yes, unfortunately, that "for better or for worse, in sickness & in health" bit sort of includes beer signs, too. There are disadvantages, of course, but one of the best things about living by yourself the way I do is that there are neither beer sign collections, Nascar posters, NFL jerseys, Thomas-What's-his-name-Painter-of Crap "paintings", Home Interiors plastic sconces, Precious Moments figurines, silk florals, doilies--in short, absolutely Nothing that I don't want to see around here, Nothing that makes me sigh & take a deep breath every time I pass it.

Does this mean that there's nothing that someone else might find less than appealing--nay, even tacky at my place? Of course not. Let's see, there's a rotted, termite-eaten tree stump sitting in a place of honor on an antique mahogany table, the rug with the soft-ball-sized holes & raveled edges, a rusty bottle-cap robot figure--some kid's 1950s summer camp project, no doubt--that holds my keys in the front hall, a Derek Erdman lips-shaped painting of the old Magikist signs that used to be a Chicago landmark, a Bart Simpson cake pan and, if I weren't worried about humidity in my bathroom, a gigantic 1930s girlie pinup with a brilliant yellow background that came--still pristine in its original cardboard tube--from the basement of my grandfather's auto-parts store in Danville, Illinois. You don't like it? Oh, well. You don't have to live here.

But, like they say, marriage means compromise, and whether that means that you each get veto power over x-number of the other's "treasures", or whether it means you each get an equal number of things--regardless of what they are--or, whether, like my brother & DWI, everything is welcome, well, that part's up to you. Or, rather, up to you & DH.

Somewhere, I have a snapshot of my brother & DWI's bed, an inherited mahogany four poster, with their twin mahogany dressers on either side. On hers was a Dresden china shepherdess, a Venetian glass engraved mirror, a crystal lamp, a sterling silver Victorian dresser set & a pretty 192Os Czeckoslovakian biscuit jar painted in jazzy multicolors that held her weed. On the other side of the bed was a Charlie the Tuna lamp, a Mr. Peanut figure, a 1960s beer sign with a moving waterfall, a 195Os Packers helmet & a carbide cannon. Each assemblage, seen by istself, was unremarkable, but seen together as one looked through their bedroom door on the way to the bathroom (another room that exhibited symptoms of blended tastes) they were a facinating proof of a couple that enjoyed--or at least accepted with equanimity, rather than found distressing--each other's foibles in collecting.

I don't know what the solution is, but I have no doubt that the two of you can figure it out it.

Magnaverde Rule No. 4O
Sometimes the easist thing to change is our attitude.

DH had to weigh in on this too when he called at lunch. He said if they are just wooden signs or the like and they're somewhat tasteful then they should be hung in an arrangement 'pleasing to the eye' (was that my DH?) and that if there are any neon signs or anything like that then they should go in his man-cave (I didn't even mention the neon signs). If there is no man-cave then they should be put away until there is one. 'Even I know that' he says, only to f/u w/ 'That's why my light Bar Light has been packed away for 10 years'.

Ha! Ha!

Is there an actual "bar" in this room? If not, you could use that reasoning...

"This kind of decor belongs in a 'bar' setting, dear, and this is not a 'bar' area. How about the garage/attic/basement until we have just the right place to display them?"

or...

You wouldn't hang them in your office, it would be inappropriate, as it is in our den".

If he will hang them in his office, let him ;-)

Lol, so many compromising, generous posters here. Me--not so much. I would tell him that you will beautifully design one of the rooms that noone goes into his new man space. I would bribe him by telling him that he can get the biggest tv that he can fit through the doors, a bar, leather muffet couches, posters of women (with sexy clothes, not naked), and a keg stand.
I don't mind mixing in masculine design elements but I draw the line at neon signs and sports crap.

Is this his tricky way of saying, "I need a man cave"?

This post made me laugh out loud and show it to my DH! He is an avid collector of 30's-40's beer cans and memorabilia, especially signs. When we built our garage, we put a "Man Room" at the back that has cabinets, shelving, and closets for his fishing/backpacking/hunting stuff, a sink and fridge, and a gun safe. It is the perfect place for his collections. His can collection is actually pretty cool. The graphics and art are really interesting. And it is unbelievable how much some of it costs. Check it out on Ebay! Antique beer signs are particularly valuable.

So, my DH said "I would never ask to put them (collection)in the main part of the house." His solution, "Tell them if they have anything "good" I will buy it."

Ha ha ha. The answer to all your prayers!

Good luck :)
Jen