"Barb`s half-eaten hammmburgah Said,
Yes, yes on errything. How in hell is a young unwed couple who are in or getting ready to graduate from college able to afford a housing budget of like $487,000 (or what the f other ridiculous price tag)?! Are they using Grampa`s trust fund, did they win MegaMillions lotto, or is this just straight-up b.s.? In all seriousness I really wanna know bc clearly I am doing something wrong, being a 40-ish working professional (No, not *that* kind!) & I am living in a `cozy` (read: `teeny tiny`) mid-century rancher trash heap that I can barely afford. [sorry for tmi, y`all!... Awwkward!]
What ever happened to getting a reasonably-priced little starter home in a decent established neighborhood, or a nice rehab in an up&coming area? No? At least they haven`t shown any trailer parks. Which. Is somewhat disappointing, really."

Does he not know it is "en-suite" vs. "on-suite"??

Our "on-suite" is only a half bath, which I'm sure when the house was built was a HUGE luxury. See comment above.

It suddenly reminded me of a moment about 25 years ago when we were considering selling our little bungalow on the West Side of Los Angeles and buying a bright modern condominium. The Farrah Fawcett lookalike realtor in the knee-high purple boots walked us out onto a wee little cantilevered slab outside the kitchen that overlooked the place across the tiny courtyard and said breathlessly, "This is such a dynamic patio balcony!"

This while standing somewhere over the San Andreas fault.
Dynamic, indeed.
We just made it to the car before we burst out laughing.

"On-suite" LOL! It took me awhile to realize they were saying "en-suite"/"ensuite" and it meant a bathroom attached to your bedroom. Also "The Master" to mean Mom and Dad's bedroom (or Mom and Mom, whatever). I'm pretty sure our "ensuite" would hardly be considered suitable as a walk-in closet for most of those young couples who can't see past the ugly paint at an open house. I'm always amazed when I see master bathrooms as big as my bedroom. I think, "What? They're going to go roller skating in there?"

I am still surprised that someone will turn their nose up at a house in Illinois for $200K because the carpet is not what they like, while someone will pay $900K for a concrete bunker with a filthy 19th century toilet in Europe or South America.

One of the other reasons that I think the show is scripted or prompted is that the vast majority of homebuyers say the same things.

I want to hear homebuyers say:

I don't care if the carpet is ugly we will be taking it out anyway.

I don't really want granite.

I don't care what the kitchen looks like because we will be renovating.

I don't care what the kitchen looks like because as long as it functions for me the appearance is not that big a deal

I like small bedrooms.

I think the harvest gold bathroom is kinda interesting.

"The kitchen is fine...neither of us cooks - everything we eat is take-out. We can not cook on black appliances just as easily as not cooking on stainless."

Which is what I suspect is the case for the vast majority of those who snub a perfectly decent kitchen.

Generally, I only watch the international version of the show as I love to see what housing looks like in other parts of the world. I'm still jealous of the couple that rented a thatched roof gate house in Buckinghamshire. I really, really want to live in that house.

There are two phrases that drive me nuts. One from overuse -- "it has good bones". That means that the house still has a roof and ceilings that are standing upright.

The other thing is regional, I am sure -- "garden tub". What? what does the tub have to do with the garden? How can a 10th floor condo have a "garden" tub? And what are the features of a garden tub? Jets? Air bubbles? Deep? Dirty enough to grow potatoes?

Despite all of this, I watch the damn show, esp International. Not the ones where they are buying on some island, since they are all the same to me, but the ones in a foreign country. I could watch that episode about the Bourgeois Apartment in Paris, where the very tall blonde from Texas sits on the toilet and bangs her knees on the opposite wall, over and over again. Any apt in Paris would do just fine for me.

Last night a young gal actually liked the retro avocado appliances in the kitchen - I admired her for that LOL. Wish she had been around when I was selling my parents house a year ago!

Here's a script from HH 70's style:

I really wanted shag carpeting.
What, no paneling in the family room?
We will have to rip out those coppertone appliances and get all new avocado ones.

Notice they all need a fence and a large yard for the dog or future dog to run around in. They can't put up a fence on their own?

Yes, it is scripted, but that's no surprise. It is a tv show after all and some of these numbnuts couldn't string 2 coherent words together on their own. My son was a Seattle seller. His house had already been purchsed by these buyers and son and wife were there for the taping.

Yes, it is scripted, but that's no surprise. It is a tv show after all and some of these numbnuts couldn't string 2 coherent words together on their own. My son was a Seattle seller. His house had already been purchsed by these buyers and son and wife were there for the taping.

Dang, they are doomed. I remember being psyched to buy our second house partly because the Formica wasn't chipped and cracking.

But this show is entertaining when you have the flu and are laying on the couch.

Why, BTW, do people think granite and stainless steel (a) connote "gourmet" or "upscale, and, related to that; (b) have to be expensive? I guess that's the same thing, but still, I don't get it. What is the big deal with granite and SS?

We're still living in our starter house, it's just spiffier now than it was 38 years ago. At the time our big requirements were children's bedrooms larger than 10 x 10 (#1 of 3 was on the way) and being off the main road. We thought the sunken tub in the guest bath was a bonus, but have you ever tried bathing a toddler below floor level while pregnant with the next kid? Some day maybe we'll do in the sunken tub.

Have to admit, though, that I still watch the international ones just to see the locations.

I can see a very entertaining drinking game called 'the parade of HH cliches':

We can make it our own

It ticks all your boxes

This would be great for entertaining or

alternate phrasing:

We really need a larger space for entertaining (this is especially interesting coming from people who are moving thousands of miles from anyone they know)

I watched an episode the other day in which the wife looked like she'd stepped in something nasty in every house because she insisted she HAD to have wood floors. Honey, you can whomp in wood floors these days in an easy morning's work. They ended buying the house without wood floors, sure enough.

Don't forget, before despair ensued episode after episode over the sad realization that the "Kitchen doesn't have granite!" utter disappointment was registered that
"There's no crown moulding!" I mean, talk about a deal breaker!

Loved it when the blog author noted, if you can't afford to replace the dishwasher, you probably can't afford a mortgage! I like this guy.

"lots of light"

Personally, I've always wanted to see one of the husbands say "no, you really DON'T NEED granite" and one of the wives respond, "no you DON'T NEED a three car garage."

And I'd like the ones where they show the buyers' living with their parents to have these so-called WISE, ALL-KNOWING parents to say what ours said: "Do you have a retirement plan at your work? Have you signed up? How much are you putting in?"

I'd like to see at least one buyer drive up in an older car because they were throwing all their savings toward a downpayment, like we did.

In a nutshell, what really is driving all of us crazy is that most of these buyers appear to have the emotional and fiscal maturity of 10-year-olds. It is not really a show about grown-ups.

I knew it was scripted/house was pre-bought because we know someone who does the editing for the show. I was disappointed, but I do not know why I was surprised! However, I do think that the people are pretty good actors!

When we were house hunting recently I was very aware of what I said vs. the canned lines you always hear on the show. I admit that hardwood (at least underneath the carpet) and trim were high on my list because I knew it was not the kind of thing I'd ever want to spend money on.

In the house we chose . . .I was disappointed that the kitchen has SS appliances, though I did not say it out loud. They are already scratched and I know it will just get worse. However, I LOVE the kitchen. DH was disappointed that there were not granite countertops. I, however, was relieved. I just wanted a kitchen where I would not trip on people, which is what happens every day here.

My favorite episode was young couple looking for a condo. The woman had a Yorkie named Kevin and everything was about what Kevin wanted- or didn't want. She brought him with her on the search, in her bag. I still laugh about that show.

How about a Shi-tzu named Jason?
A Cavalier King Charles named Jamal?
A Rottweiler named Heather?
A Maine Coon named Dakota?

I'll confess though that when DH and I were house hunting the past few months we uttered MANY of the cliche phrases seen on the show without thinking about it at the time. We both had long wish lists that were difficult to find in our budget (our area is experiencing a sellers' market) but, in our defense, this isn't a first home for either of us and we wanted a place where we could stay put and be happy for years. In the end we definitely didn't get our dream home but we got a place we're both happy with, in a nice area, with lots of potential for future improvements.

Too bad we couldn't have just skipped the whole HGTV wake up call, but like individuals in real life, it's the people who get on our nerves the most who clarify best for us what we really want, care about, and value. I know that the most obnoxious people I've encountered have helped me the most to understand what I DON'T want to be like, and to see more clearly what characteristics I want to embody. Realizing we don't want to be HGTV or House Hunter zombies sets us on our true path even more confidently. We should write them a thank you note.

At our previous house, we had the laminate counter tops covered with a material that I think was a granite composite of some sort (that looks just like granite) and that's created from a template of your counter tops so as to fit right over what's there. The kitchen looked a million times better, I think, but the ONLY reason we did it was because the laminate was so old that the protective finish had worn in many places. It had long since been impossible to prevent stains from setting, nor could scratches be hidden, nor was it possible to overlook the dulled, matte areas. Had it not been for the obvious damage, we could have lived with the laminate.

RE: the expected "standards"-- does everyone truly like them or just see them as elite/must-have items? Like for me-- love the look of SS but I do not think they work in every kitchen, and for me, the scratch factor is an issue. Ditto for an open floor plan . . .again, I can see how they work for some people really well, but the last thing I want is all of us in one big room at the same time. Gulp. The noise . ..the visual noise, too . . .not for me.

Stinky, you are right about the thank you note! It is interesting to see what others list as a priority. And certainly, there is still diversity, even on HH. I learned about the FHA rehab loan on HH, when one woman got a house with a ton of character but needing serious work. Very inspiring!

I miss the old HGTV with it's quality shows about real decorating and landscaping. I avoid watching the new cheapo version these days.
Lynn

When are you moving in?

So if the house was empty and the garage wasn't toured, you knew right away. Then people talked about that fact online too much because they changed the line-up to include at least one other empty house. Now it was A or B? I always find the couple give it away in their smiles; they LIKE their own house and it shows.

You can tell when they look around and say something nice, they are actually complimenting their own living room! One time the flower bed gave it away. I knew instantly by how the wife smugly pointed out how nice it looked that SHE had put it there! LOL!

The best episodes have been the ones with 2 young men, friends or whatever. One is usually buying and the other is a roommate. They say the darnedest things, usually obnoxious, about the decor (but hilarious). I always picture the owner about dying when some of those lines come out.

Thanks for the link! Talk about hilarious.

Also, I don't understand why people need these huge homes. 5000 sq. ft. might seem impressive, but don't you get lost in that? How do you keep it clean? How do you afford the maintenance. Repainting and reroofing a 50000 sq. ft. home is going to be much more costly than a 1500 sq. ft job. Do you really need a separate exercise room, a separate wine room, a separate play room, a separate theater?

Don't even get me started on the spoiled 20-somethings who are buying their first home for $500,000 OR MORE and sneer that a perfectly serviceable kitchen or bathroom is a "gut job."

My favorite HHI was the one in Slovenia where bees had built a hive in the house (or was it bats?) also the one in Buckinghamshire, England, with the thatched roof.

huh? what are you thinking? no way. they're entitled after all!

Was looking at magazines the other day. Picked up HGTV mag. Article on a "great" kitchen reno. Too bad it was a horrible layout.

I'm officially done with HGTV.

"Oh they have windows"! What you were thinking of buying a house WITHOUT windows?????

HGTV is like a northeastern industrial city, marketing whatever it can sell to an audience that has begun to move away.
The programs are like its neighborhoods.

House Hunters is a cheap, briefly popular housing development now in the hands of a manipulative gang of speculators, or drug dealers, desperately and cynically selling things of no good use.

Trading Spaces is an abandoned apartment complex that started out perfectly nice, but because of its cheap construction, cut corners, and lack of maintenance, fell into complete dereliction at the hands of graffiti "artists" like Hildi Santo-Tomas and Kia Steave-Dickerson.

And we're the people at the well-kept community center, sharing our lives and skills with each other, and bemoaning what's happening across town in places we used to like to go.

I'm probably highly sensitive, but I'm also annoyed by the extremely limited vocabulary of the househunters. You can easily concoct a drinking game based upon the number of "wow!", "great!", and "I'm not a fan" comments throughout any given show.

I will occasionally watch Househunters International, but that's just to travel vicariously.