Lynn, I'm so sorry! A remodel is so stressful, and then to have this happen is horrible.

First, did you look at this site below? It's where I found replacement pieces for my grandmother's china. I'm not sure if you've looked here already, but if not, it's worth a peruse.

Secondly, gather up all those broken pieces, and start considering ideas for using them in a different way. Are there pieces that you could use to decorate a picture frame to hold a picture of your and your daughter? A stepping stone for your garden?

Here is a link that might be useful: China replacements

It's upsetting to wreck precious items, sending you a huge virtual hug! Maybe it's a sign that you need to make a new memory with your daughter :-)

Offhand I can't think of anything that I've ruined that held a special memory. Being that I am hoarder-offspring, I try NOT to associate memories with stuff. Even with that, I have too much stuff...memories...emotional problems relating to an inability to minimize. My kids are only 9 and 5, so we haven't really acquired many special things that would devastate if broken.

Please let yourself forgive yourself -- that can sometimes be the hardest part.

Lynn, I just did a quick google about what to do with broken china. There are many Pinterest pages showing mosaics made from broken china--lots of creative ideas out there.

If you're not crafty or don't have time, consider this site below. They can make you and your daughter a piece of jewelry from the broken pieces, and their work looks quite lovely.

Here is a link that might be useful: Custom jewelry from broken china

You are not upset about the China. You are blaming yourself. I have to take antiepileptics for a condition secondary to MS. I do the same thing. I dropped 8 of my 12 china plates at Christmas after I had washed them. I know how you feel. You will be fine Know that you are not alone and the dishes can be replaced. I understand your difficulty accepting that we are not still 17 and as agile as we once were but do try to know that you are loved and life goes on and we all have foibles in our physical and/or emotional makeup. Have a glass of something you like (coke, wine, water) and a nap. You will see in a few days this will have become less significant. Try not to be upset about the medication. It is for a good purpose, I am sure. Your partner in dropsy crime.

I'm so sorry, Lynn. True, it's only stuff.......but we get attached to stuff, don't we. Years ago, our home was robbed and in the process of probably trying to get out fast, the thieves dropped some jewelry. One of the items was from the first set of earrings my husband gave me. It felt terrible to have so many things stolen. But....I took that earring and had a ring made out of it and still enjoy it! Other items I had made into pendants. Yes, it's not the same but we can still enjoy looking at the salvageable pieces.

The first thing I thought of was to gather the pieces and maybe make stepping stones for the garden. Or maybe a mosaic for a tray or table top depending on how many pieces you have.

Lynn here's a hug ((((Lynn))))

Peony's idea to make something with the shards is a good one.

Meantime, the plates broke, not your memories of your time in Brimfield with your daughter.

I'm sure the stress of a remodel isn't helping with your response to the dishes breaking .When this kind of thing happens to me, I tell myself, "It's not cancer." Perspective is helpful.

Yes I understand. If I lost one or more pieces of the china my father brought back after his time during the Korean war I would be in tears and upset.

But I will also join your son in saying it's only stuff. This past week multiple tornado's tore through many towns in our area. Many many homes destroyed.
A little girl lost her life and her mother is in a coma.
One man lost his wife due to a heart attack on June 15 and then 2 days later an F3 tornado wiped out his home, his woodworking workshop and all the treasures the couple had built together. Another couple who lost their home are struggling because he has heart issues and his wife had a stroke a couple months ago. Those are only a few of many, many stories

After picking up the pieces from many lives over the past few days I realize that the best "things" we hold are the memories in our hearts because we take those with us. If you have one or more pieces of china to hold, what a blessing!

I'm sure the remodeling and tremors combine to take an emotional toll. Rest up and enjoy the little things in life.

As already voiced here, most of us can relate to any type of loss, especially when it relates to emotional memories. Yes, I understand, and who among us hasn't beat ourselves up over something 'stupid' we've done. I've dropped, knocked over, broken or chipped things trying to be careful and it still happens. And the stress you must be going through with the remodel must be taking an additional toll, even it things are going as planned.

Don't give up on finding replacements eventually. Just because you didn't find them in today doesn't mean that old friend, serendipity, won't step in one day and you'll find a piece or two along the way in another journey.

Meanwhile, focus on the good memories with your DD, the wonderful renovation ahead of you, and maintain perspective on what you do still have. Great idea to make something cool out of the broken pieces and use it in the new spaces.

I'm so sorry and understand how upsetting this is. Here's another suggestion to use the shards to make mementos.

Keyring. Detailed instructions to smooth the edge and make the hole below

Or making picture frames or mosaics for trays, house numbers, table, etc. from broken China.

Here is a link that might be useful: mosaics from broken China

I know the feeling, I sent a precious wedding gift carafe flying off a window sill, that hurt. But that was long ago and I've never thought about it until now.

With time you'll feel better and reason it out, you are going through a lot right now, maybe slow down a bit and take care yourself, good luck !!

That's too bad. When my kitchen was remodeled I didn't do such a great job of packing things up and when I was ready to move back in, I discovered a lot of nice things had been broken such as the gravy boat for my good china and a set of Belleek (sp?) that had been a wedding gift. Some stuff is less important than other stuff.

(((Hugs))), it is so upsetting to break something that holds such meaning for you. I know I would be crying too. I also know it's only "stuff" but it still hurts.

When my children were younger they broke a lovely oriental bowl. At the time I felt I would never own anything that wasn't endangered by little hands but also realized that those little hands were far more precious than my oriental bowl.

I have shaky hands often and know that it's only a matter of time until I break something that is precious to me. I know I will be kicking myself but I am readying myself for the inevitable.

Lynn, we understand perfectly! I am passing tissues to you through the GW-wire.

Awe I'm sorry :( I love nosoccermom's ideas. If you have some that didn't break, treasure those. Use them or maybe hang them on a wall. I find when I get upset about something, it gets easier in a day or two. It doesn't matter if something was expensive or not, sentimental or not. If you loved it, you loved it. I had a christmas tree fall once and broke tons of gorgeous Christopher radko ornaments. I was so upset, but what can we do, stuff happens. Hugs to you.

You had a bad day in the midst of a highly stressful time. I'm so sorry. I wish I could hug you in person.

I'm sorry you lost the china. I like the ideas suggested of making something unique and special out of the shards.

I can't tell you how many things I've lost over the years that had special meaning for me.

Most recently, I was ready to crown my DH. We were weeding the beds and I saw that there was only one Marguerite that survived. (Marguerite was my mother's name, and they were plants I transplanted from the other house which my father had given me.) Granted, this one was growing amongst other flowers and looked out of place, but it was blooming and it was the only one left. The next thing I know, I hear DH say, "this doesn't belong here" and yes, he ripped out the plant and threw it away. I was heart broken. I've since tried to save it, but I doubt it will make it. DH felt badly and wished he hadn't done it, but what are you going to do? I thought about mentioning it to him when I saw it, but I figured he'd never pull out a blooming flower...I was wrong. What's done is done.

But I know that my memories of my father will long outlast the plant, and memories of my mother will be forever cherished.

It is our attachment to things that are necessarily transitory that causes us to suffer. If we let go of our attachment, our suffering will cease.

Hugs to you. As youve said, you know its just stuff but you also know how it made you feel - - your memories of your special mom / daughter trip were connected to it and it clearly brought you happiness from this connection.

How sad for you that its broken - I personally would keep the pieces just as they are but in a container or at least a few of the pieces, maybe just one.

Maybe youve something else from that trip that can serve as a reminder of that special time?

Oh I'm sorry. I try not to get attached to things but I do and I to would be upset if something like this happened. I do have very painful and sometimes cramping arthritis in my hands and am so careful when carrying precious things but am preparing my self for the day when I drop something.

I really like the idea of taking all the bits and making something out of them. Perhaps you can make 2 of the same thing and give one to your daughter.

As far as replacing them - we were broken into a number of years and my engagement ring was stolen. I had it remade but I still know that it isn't the one that my DH gave me - it make look like it but it isn't.

My DIL used pieces from my very first dinnerware to make a sign with our house numbers. It's a wrought iron rectangular frame with glass mosaic around the numbers. I think you can buy the frame & backing kit. It's a treasure to me.

My DIL used pieces from my very first dinnerware to make a sign with our house numbers. It's a wrought iron rectangular frame with glass mosaic around the numbers. I think you can buy the frame & backing kit. It's a treasure to me.

I am very sorry for what happened. It is 'stuff' but it comes with memories and it hurts when it is damaged or lost.
I have fond memories of a very few items from my childhood. One is a pewter mantle clock which my mother purchase at an auction that she and I went to together when I was probably 12. or so. It was at the bottom of a jumble box we bought for a few dollars. She always told me I could have it but when my SIL commented that she liked it my mother gave it to her. I am still grieving.
To make it up to me, my mother brought me a china flower basket that I liked of hers, but she is not a careful packer and it arrived in shards.
That's pretty much it for the things I liked from my childhood so I will be happy with my memories- at least most of the time.

I'm so sorry. (((lynn)))

I love the idea of making something out of the pieces, maybe even something you can use and hold every day.

Thank you so much for all your kind words - and so quickly. Obviously there are "many more out there" with similar experiences. There were some great suggestions. In fact my daughter suggested we go through the pile and find something we could "reuse" in some way. I told her that my GW "friends" had suggested the same thing. Ironically when it occurred my first reaction was to sweep up the mess but for some reason I left the shards on the floor. The item was an early Fenton Blue Opalescent Scroll & Eye candy dish with a top. You can find the dishes but not with tops. Those are the two items I was most upset about. I guess I will just have to keep my eyes open and when I least expect it, I can hope it will miraculous arrive!

And you are right about the memories, those will always be there. I am the one that reads in disbelief when someone is so upset because the couch came in the wrong color or some such thing and I want to shout through the computer - get over it - it can be fixed - there are too many things out there that can't as hilltop pointed out.

So I guess I will go through the shards with my daughter and see what creative ideas we can come up with based on your suggestions. Honestly I hadn't thought that until I read your responses.

And I have to give my 27 yo son, still living at home, some credit. When this happened, his attempt to console me was something to the effect of "Ma, you're a grown up and you shouldn't be crying over things". Yet tonight he went and got one of the pieces of foam that I had for cushioning some of the glassware and he put it in front of the cabinet. He did it so that if in case I dropped something else, it wouldn't break. Just getting through to him on an emotional level is about the best thing that could have happened right now.

Again, ((hugs)) right back at ya'. I think we should keep the stories coming, because to me it is healing to hear someone else's experiences and their methods of coping. Lynn fr CT

peony4, I just opened that site for custom jewelry. The suggestion of matching pendants really appealed to me, and they have a good selection at what I believe to be reasonable prices. So many of the items are beautiful. A big thanks to all!!!

So sorry for you Lynn. I just put your candy dish on my Ebay watch list. If it becomes available, I will get an email & I'll let you know.
I received a piece of replacement china today that I've had on my "Watch List" for a couple of years.

Is this the one? If I had lost my daughter I'd be crying over every memory item. You have my prayers.

Here is a link that might be useful: candy dish

In case you haven't noticed before, there is a stained glass and mosaic forum here too. If you decide to try to make something with some of the pieces, you can look there for inspiration and help.

" In fact my daughter suggested we go through the pile and find something we could "reuse" in some way."

"And I have to give my 27 yo son, still living at home, some credit. When this happened, his attempt to console me was something to the effect of "Ma, you're a grown up and you shouldn't be crying over things". Yet tonight he went and got one of the pieces of foam that I had for cushioning some of the glassware and he put it in front of the cabinet."

Lynn, you might have lost some china but you still have the most priceless thing in the world: good, caring kids who love you and want to make you feel better! And that's something that not all the money in the world can buy, or replace if broken. What a good job you did raising both of them.

I'm especially touched by your son--such a classic guy thing to do :).

Ann

I laughed when you mentioned your son and his reaction about not crying. I have a son living with me as well who is 33. That's something he would say! But he would also try to help like your son did. Men just don't get it if you ask me. Anyways, I'm glad your daughter was more in tune and hope you are feeling better.

We had a rose back mahogany arm chair that we were moving from the old house....it was late, we were tired from all the moving we did and we were careless in not securing the chair adequately in the back of the pick-up truck...it blew out of the truck and smashed on the road side. We were both so upset about it as it was from DH's apartment where he grew up with his parents. And it was a lovely chair, and I had the perfect place for it.

I've been looking for a replacement but haven't found one yet.

So the memory stays with me, but alas the chair is gone.

Lynn, loved the stories about what your son and daughter did for you in the aftermath! I too was especially touched by the caring things your son said and did for you, especially to prevent a future accident. Just great!

ROMY718.. I hadn't thought about putting it on a watch list, so I really appreciate your effort.
yayagal... this is my pattern... the second one down is closest to the one I had. It was a little older, but now that isn't as important anymore. I just can't find one with a cover, which is the main reason I bought it in the first place. http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_trksid=p2047675.m570.l1313.TR0.TRC0.H0&_nkw=early+Fenton+Blue+Opalescent+Scroll+%26+Eye+&_sacat=0amp;_from=R40

In the midst of my mini-crisis and the sharing of your stories, I found a "saying" in a book I am reading. It was "Time Fixes All". I found that comforting to me right now. It could apply to a million things I have going on in my life right now, and yes, also regarding my Fenton accident.

AnnieD - your story reminded me of an event that happened years ago. We livened next door to a retired woman who was known for her bright pink azaleas that surrounded her home, driveway, front yard etc. When I gave people directions to my home, almost always they would ask if I lived near the house with the beautiful pink flowers - which of course we did. She asked my husband (younger and stronger back then of course) if he would remove one of the bushes near the front of the driveway. That weekend he went out with our shovel and started pulling up the bush. The roots were so deep and strong that he took an ax to them until he finally laid the spent bush in the driveway. Later she came home, and talk about crying, she had not been clear about the fact she had planned to transplant it to the back. Of course that was not possible now. She was a sweet Italian woman, but I believe she put every Italian curse on my husband that day. My husband did feel badly - he had lived next door to her since his birth. He snuck out every day to the car to avoid seeing her and I bet he thought about moving.

This is the one from the link you posted... Is this the one?

There are five or six on ebay right now, but none with a top.

This post was edited by mclarke on Thu, Jun 26, 14 at 18:27

mclarke - thanks for the posting! I can't quite bring myself to go through the pieces yet to find the exact pattern, but I hope this weekend. I haven't brought myself to feel this ignorant of other people's problems in a long time. I know you need not look too far to find someone with issues way worse than yours.

As I read through the entries again and again, it seems that there are often underlying emotional circumstances, as with localeater. It goes beyond the item.

For me, my daughter now 22, spends so much time with the boyfriend, and much less with me. I have to factor that in with the broken pieces and it makes more sense than just sitting there sobbing over broken glass. Again, thanks all.

Oh, we know, we all know.

It's not just the THING. The thing is just a thing. It's the memories, the stories, the meaning, the past, the future.

We understand.

Did yours have a frilly edge? Because I can't find any frilly-edged dishes that have tops. I'm not sure they came with tops.

Here is one from ebay with a slightly different pattern -- it's called Moon and Stars -- but it's the right color, and it has a top. Is this the right shape?

Just sending along hugs to you ..... this is indeed a place where many folks can certainly understand about "things" .... and I certainly can!

Hoping you can find some pieces around the Web ....

Lynn sending you hugs.....

I know it won't help, but my best friend lost EVERY bit of her Waterford crystal, Wedgewood china, and many family heirlooms one Christmas Eve. She was carrying Christmas cookies to her neighbor's and hooked her coat onto her china cabinet, (she didn't know that the top was separate from the bottom-don't ask) it separated, crashed, and that was that. Her husband tried to help by vacuuming the mess and broke the vacuum. They ended up just going out for drinks. Mess upon mess upon mess, including her. It's now, many years later, a good story. We have all given her many replacement pieces that she treasures all the more for what they mean and for what people meant to her in the aftermath of the whole awful mess. I have sons and mine would have said the same; sometimes I think they just don't know what to say so the words don't come out "perfectly" but they try to fix things in other ways.

Sending you virtual hugs because I've been there-done that and know exactly how you feel.
I found it almost funny that in telling my story about my shattered demitasse cups and saucers that my dear grandmother passed on to me (each one different. Each one from a different country she had visited) I would always add "it's only stuff" to the end of my story and yet I couldn't make myself believe it.

What I did, until I was ready to turn my shards into something pretty......I got a large, clear glass, somewhat decorative jar with a pretty lid, almost like an apothecary jar, only really tall.

I put ALL the bits and pieces of the cups and saucers in the jar, put the lid on and placed the jar in my curio. I had the light in the curio on a timer and it came on same time every night. The light shining through and onto the tall, glass jar was actually quite pretty with all the colors from the designs of the cups and saucers showing.
It was unique, I got lots of questions and even compliments on my jar of shards.
I could still look at the beautiful colors, the bits of designs and think of my Grandma every time.

Give yourself some time and don't beat yourself up over this.
And take breaks often. I find that I have the dropsys more often when I'm over-tired.
Again, ((((HUGS)))) to you.

I'm so sorry you lost your precious things. Sounds like you are feeling a bit better and I'm glad everyone shared their stories of similar incidents and "stuff" tragedies.

Mine happened a few years ago when we had a huge earthquake. I was home from work that day and when it started it sounded like a freight train coming toward the house. As I began to feel it, I looked up and saw all the cabinet doors in the kitchen fly open and for about 45 seconds, one by one, the Waterford brandy snifters that I'd scrimped and saved for early in our marriage crashed to the floor (along with many other pieces of glassware and china).

My husband had died a few years before and they had each been my gift to him at Christmas for a number of years, because he loved drinking brandy and it was nice to have beautiful glasses for it when we had guests. It was very sad for me (as well as a traumatizing event) because there was just one left from his collection. I felt like it was a recognition of my newly single status.

I think that I understand why you are so sad.

Here is my advice, take it or leave it. It is meant with kindness, and I hope it doesn't sound too harsh.

I think that your response to the dish breaking is a release of the pent up stress of everything you are experiencing right now, and the feelings of things happening that are both good and hard at the same time. The dish is a physical reminder of your time when you and the children were together, doing something as a unit. And of course it is a thing of beauty in its own right.

We all know that time marches on and things change, and that can be both joyful, difficult, wistful, and gut-wrenching, and make us both proud and lonely. I think that the dish breaking was just a physical release of all of those emotions for you.

And your darling son is trying to help you focus on the true physical reality of what actually happened, and detach it from the emotional meaning that you may be feeling from what happened.

And that in itself is yet again a reminder of the finish line reached as a successful parent, and a solemn reinforcement of the fact that your role as primary teacher and problem solver for your children is over. So again both happy and sad.

(Yes, I am going through the empty nest transition myself, and have been reflecting a lot on this as my friends and I all are experiencing this together in different ways. And we moved last year and I had to do the possession evaluation as well.)

Of course this could be just how I would feel and think, and may or may not have anything to do with you and your experiences and feeling. But I wanted to share in case it helps you.

And the reason is, aside from wanting to help you understand, is that if this had happened to me in this context, I think having something made from the pieces would make me feel this anguish over and over and over again every time I saw the broken pieces. And that even if I found the "same" old piece, I would always know it was a substitute.

So I guess what I am saying is that if this had happened to me, not only would I be sad like you are sad, but that I think that I would pout a bit, and then try to move on, instead of recreating the past.

Now you might find great joy in a key fob or pendant or tray or frame with the pieces, but I know that that would make me beat myself up over and over. For me, it would be just better to be sad, and then to move on and create a new good memory.

Again, I am not trying to say what you should do. I just wanted to bring this up in case it would apply to your situation.

And now, back to home decorating.

hugs and sighs,
Julie

This post was edited by juliekcmo on Sat, Jun 28, 14 at 8:40

love those ideas nosoccermom!!

Still reading and re-reading everyone's responses. Almost everyone had an emotional story that takes it beyond "it was just a plate". Holly-kay and your beloved oriental bowl, when my kiddies were young I was convinced that if you bring your kiddies up right, you shouldn't need to worry about damage to nice things. Wrong! I learned after a few broke items. Dedtired - I did not know of all the Belleck pieces were, googled and they are gorgeous, so I can see why you would be so upset. Another sign of kitchen remodels gone bad. Chloenkitty - we had a new kitty and he was only a few months old when we put up our tree. I thought it too heavy for him to knock over. What I didn't think of is that he would crawl up the middle of the tree and "ping" the ornaments off. I am so happy none of them were Christopher Radkos because they so beautiful and I know they are not cheap. That must have really hurt. So if it wasn't the kids, now it was the new kitty I had to be afraid of. And mitchdesj - when I first read your post - I thought it said that the wedding cake went flying. That would have been a huge "yikes". melle_sacto - my mother was the opposite. She lived with my alcoholic father who spent every penny on booze. For 40 years I have indulged myself by buying the occasional "pretty". Cheaper than a psychiatric!

Amity, I think your idea is great. I am not yet ready to make a decision on the broken pieces. As I continued to repack things for the remodel I came across a clear glass vase, perfect size, to put the pieces for now. I have a window where the sun would shine so bright through it and I think that may be the prefect place for now.

But, my gosh, my loss seems so small compared to others and it does help to see I'll get through this. I am just feeling so shallow right now compared to other peoples losses.