I think that rooms are more interesting when things "go" together rather than "match".

Well, I'm about to repeat myself from the last thread I replied to, but....Do what works for you and your family. If it makes you happy then go for it.
In other words, leave "fear" behind.

I think you have to figure out what you like ... what you really and truly like, and want to live with in your own home. It's all too easy to get caught up in the notion that a house "needs" to look a certain way, but we aren't putting together stage sets that appeal to the masses -- we're creating our own personal space, and as stated above, we should decorate in a way that is reflective of ourselves and those we live with. I think it's infinitely more fun to create a space with who you are in mind, as opposed to pulling it all together so that it "matches" or even "goes." I think it's a lovely thing when a home is an extension of the personalities and interests of the people who live within. I think if you shift your focus to defining your space in that way, it will all come together perfectly in the way that suits you best.

(I hope all of that makes sense! :-))

Wow, Auntjen that was really well put.

Justgotabme, what you have said, both times, has been so right on.

Avesmor, are you married? If you are, you wouldn't dress your DH to be your twinkie, would you? I would almost bet that you look at the colors and mood of your outfit and tell DH to wear something that picks up on your vibe.

I seem to get so hung up on the details of things, and can't see past them. Exact shades, shapes, textures, etc.

In just about any kind of design, graphic, interior, architectural, etc. I think it is easy to get lost in the micro details like exact, singluar shades, shapes, textures. Zooming out and taking in what you have to work with from a macro view can sometimes help shake your head out of focusing intently on just the little stuff.

I'm wondering if you have practical tips/advice for being able to focus things that "go" and not just things that "match"?

One suggestion to help you step outside of what is you already know, is to seek out some information about the fundamental design principles of scale and proportion -- that might open a door to a new way for you to look at the different elements you are wanting to use and think differently about what "goes" and what "matches" -- what "works together" on a macro level too, not just micro.

Subheaders to proportion and scale would be stuff like using color and pattern to create rythm, balance - Law of Chromatic Distribution.

I agree that finding out what you really like (as opposed to what's "in" right now) is important in creating a look that goes together rather than just matching.

I like stuff from the 1940's through the 1970's. I don't have much that's newer than that. So that right there creates a certain look. Warm-colored metals and fabric colors throughout does the same thing in my home. I think my stuff goes together because it's all "me." Does a 1950's pottery bust belong on a 1910 buffet with a 1965 needlepoint picture, a couple of 1940's feather pictures and a woodblock print from 2009? I think they all "go" because I love them.

I'd suggest looking at a whole bunch of decor books and magazines--and not just new ones, but old ones from the library or your mom's basement or wherever. See what kinds of things you like again and again and what looks like "home" to you. When you see a room that you'd love to live in, try to identify why--what is it that is actually attracting you? Is it the colors, the style of furniture, the amount or scale of the furniture, layering, etc. If it's the layered look you love, it won't help much to get the exact couch or lamps, what you'll need is lots of accessories, etc.

Geez, my answer sounds like a dork compared to the insightful advice here.

:OD

Avesmor, when I first got into this crazy decorating 'thing' I was like you. The green dishes had to match the place mats and the background color of the wallpaper and the pillows in the next room and the green in the rug~all those *ands*!! One day I was watching one of the many 'good' decorating shows that used to be on HGTV, and the host metioned colors never have to be exact to have a well done room or home. A beautiful garden has many colors of flowers. What really matters is you love the things you buy for your home~you should absolutely *LOVE* walking into your home! When you have that feeling, you know you've done everything right.

Choose one thing you have that you love, or go shopping and find one special thing you can't stop thinking about when you leave the store~stay within your budget! From that one item, you can choose your color palette and the style you prefer. Just making those two decisions is a start in the right direction. The rest is in the 'doing' which gives you the confidence to want to do more. If you chose things you love, it will all work out because what you love *will* be things that go together, that's the irony! Above all, don't get too serious! ;o)

OK i am not full of wonderful wisdom...but I was asked this question by a dear friend who asked me to cure her of this overly focused illness :oP (She's a lawyer...accountant and lawyer actually which pretty much explains the obsession with little details...) Umm where was I?

I sent her out shopping. I told her by the end of the day I wanted her to bring me 3 things she purchased because she really liked them. She wasn't to buy food or clothing...this had to be three objects...other than that, she was free to purchase what she wanted.

This goofy girl brought home a plate from the worlds fair in the 60's. A fabulous pill box hat from the 50's and a simple blown glass vase that was new.

I asked her why those items. Her grandmother had a hat collection and a pillbox hat always reminded her of grandma. The vase was something her mother would have loved and the plate...I think that was the year she was born...can't remember, but it was also a pretty turquoise color.

I told her to put all three in her favorite room and build slowly :) Last time I was there the plate was still lonely but her grandmothers hats were displayed in the family room on all kinds of quirky stands. She also had a pretty nice bud vase collection going...very simple but pretty all along the mantle :) Someday I'm going to find her more of those plates.

My sappy decor motto...if there's a place in your heart for it, there's likely a place in your home for it.

(But not if you found it at pier 1 or one of those other big box stores full of "memories" from people who spent too much time pretending to travel and only came home with a cheap elephant table with a tray on it's back...)

Umm that's another story (and it involves her basement LOL) She does make me smile that girl. heh heh

I love reading your posts Igloochic : ) You're a hoot (and a holler).

I agree about decorating your home with the things you love, even if it is the elephant from pier 1 with the table on its back.

Things go together for a reason and not everything goes together. Some people instinctively understand this, and these people can be frustrating to try to learn from because they can't explain how they know what they know. If you don't possess these assets, you can learn them, as Funcolors said, by learning design elements and principles.

I'm wondering if you have practical tips/advice for being able to focus things that "go" and not just things that "match"?

The most basic answer to this might be that things go together because they have something in common.

Years ago, I had a decorator "do" my formal living room. My husband and I had input on colors and styles, but he guided us and then put the whole room together. The one instruction I have him - pulling him aside - was that I wanted nothing to match. The result was beautiful. I spent hours studying that room. In this room of nothing matching, there was a subtle repetition of colors and shapes.

I know that I could not put together a room that well, but I could see (to some extent) how he did it.

I'm wondering if you have practical tips/advice for being able to focus things that "go" and not just things that "match"?

I think 'match' generally has more to do with color, and 'go' has more to do with mood or feeling. True -- you can't ignore color-matching or coordinating altogether, but it's much, much easier to overlook a slightly different color than it is to get past a piece that has the wrong mood.

Learn not to focus on color, and instead focus on blending items that have something in common (a color, texture or feel).

Layer items, opposite groupings - when placing accessories: hard/soft, smooth/rough, metal/fabric, wicker/stone, etc.

Pull colors from fabric (pillows or rugs, for example) but don't try match colors exactly.

When adding to a room, think of what season it relates to and pull colors, textures, ideas from one of the four seasons to help you visualize. (Example - Fall: golden yellows, rust, dark green, saturated blues, colors from the flame of fires, cream. Wood, bark, nuts, bone, stone, wicker, iron, gourds, leather, plaid, wool, felt, etc etc). You can do this with anything, not just seasons (beach, mountains, flower garden, etc). You could even take a piece of art or a magazine phone that you are drawn to (the colors/the idea, not the "things" in it) and draw from that to create or add to a room.

Even when placing random objects together, they relate to each other in some way. Whether it's an object, texture, color, lines or place of origin. They all don't have to relate to each other directly, but within themselves - hope that makes sense.

When introducing a color into a room, even in a small subtle way, have it in the room at least three times - not just once - so that the room is visually appealing/weighted. For example: my great room rug has a terra cotta color, so I pulled that onto the pair of chairs by FP, and onto the pillows each chair is holding. The sliding screen above FP has copper panels, bringing the color up - but it also relates to the copper range hood in the kitchen, directly opposite of the FP. I also brought the color over to the coffee table in a stack of books, and on the sofa table (not seen in photos) with items.

Good luck!

Here is a link that might be useful: My Home - 3 part tour

There is a message here about timing too. I have always bought stuff I like when I see it (especially if it's a deal), even if I have to store it until I know for sure whether or when I'll need it. Shopping is, heaven help me, where it all starts for me, and the stores just don't all have stuff that "goes" when I need to put it together. I'm far better off to have it tucked away somewhere myself. (I definitely end up owning things I don't ever use, but they still scratch an itch for me and I figure as long as I get some enjoyment out of them, it doesn't so much matter whether they're "on display" or not.)

I'm currently redoing an attic room, for example, and over a period of a couple of months I bought three or four decorator fabric remnants that I "might" use as drapes. Those actually also functioned as decision-making tools for me in terms of determining paint colours (plus one piece of the fabric will be a bedspread). Once I'd decided on a colour scheme, I started collecting other things... I have a plate to hang, some pillowcases, a clock for the room, and a vintage jug, as well as a wallpaper border that I may use on an accessory... and the room is far from done.

I guess my point is that for me, making things "go" is a continuing process, not a "go out once and look for something to fit here" kind of process. My process involves risk, and inventory, and annoys the heck out of my husband. But in the end, everything "goes" and I have fun doing it.

KarinL

Thank you Paint Chips. And your answer isn't dorky. Some of us, though usually not me, can just get a point across with less words. Your analogy of matching clothing is really quite wonderful. Most of us have been doing that for many more years than we have been decorating. Both are very similar in many ways.

I tend to start with one big thing, and then find stuff that might pick up a color or a form in that. For example, I have a really great 1920s poster that I love, love, love (linked below). It's above my desk. Stuff on my desk repeats the colors in the poster, but they're not 1920s or Deco, particularly.

And not to be too contrary, but I think there's way to coordinate and interweave themes and ideas without being too spot-on. I loved my grandmother, have a ton of her stuff, but I don't need to display all of it, or even any of it, just because I have it. I don't care for impersonal Pottery Barn rooms, but I think it's possible to go too far in the other direction, too. Objects have to relate visually, not just conceptually.

Here is a link that might be useful: Kokoon Club 1924

Thanks for all the tips! I think I do some of what you guys are suggesting, but some of it just seems beyond me.

I definitely go with things I love, and I love different things from different styles, so - well - hence my challenge begins. :) I try to focus on a "feel" when I put a room together, but inevitably I'm drawn to the minutia that seems to tear everything apart. "Greenery" between those two vases won't work, it needs to have a leaf style that fits the "feel" of the other items it will be near, and a shade of green that will fit the mood I want, and... this screams "ivy" not "pothos" (but isn't green green?) but not a perfect ivy because these vases are handmade and need something with a rustic quality, but...

As for what I'm drawn to... asymmetry. Bold earth tones - burnt oranges and muddy greens and rich creams... Sensory surprises. I love seeing things used in unintended ways. Simple lines. Natural materials.

ideefixee - I have had some small success using your same approach. E.g. for my mantle, after spending (lalalala) over and over on things that I ended up being dismayed with, I did nothing until I found a large piece of art that I absolutely loved, and then I filled in the blanks with smaller items that seemed to work, either because they "went" with the art, or gave the space something it needed (balance, contrast, whatever). And I was happy with the result. But until I found that one piece, I'll call it an "anchor" - from which to base everything else off, I felt completely lost.

But that doesn't always work for me. I don't think I have enough vision/flexibility. This weekend I saw some pillows I just couldn't quit thinking about. So I gave in and picked them up. I would love to use them on my bed. But I can't even conceive of bedding that would "go" with them, so they'll end up on a window seat or foyer bench or somewhere equally, safely isolated. :( Bedding is a particular weakness of mine.

I agree that having a stash of things you love helps when it's time to play with the decor in a given room. I find it easier to try things out, move them around, trial and error. Or course this doesn't work when you're picking out the bigger items like window treatments, upholstered furniture, etc. It would be pretty hard to have a stock pile of bigger items to play around with. But I've been known to play with one shelf for an hour until I like the way it looks. Maybe this is because I don't have the "gift" of decorating and can't do it first time around. For me, I have to see it to know if I like it. This means lots of do overs : )

Interesting to read...such helpful tips!
Graywings, would love to see your formal LR if you wouldn't mind sharing~

Each piece of advice given here has a slightly different perspective. Which is like a room, color, texture, shape, stuff like that.Each persons perspective is unique and so should their rooms.
Paintchips your advice was good. But I gotta tell you,in my mind, I now see two twinkies dressed up with nowhere to go!