I guess it depends on whether your son is interested in taking care of decor items. If he isn't, I would either not waste my money or accept that the shams will not have a long life...LOL!

I like your humor.

Boys, of all ages, seem not to understand pillows that cannot be slept on, punched into a football shape, and, yes drooled on. And I always feel foolish explaining it, because they are right.

That said, I used light chambray blue cotton shams on the pillows in our kids' lakehouse bunkroom. Two per twin bed, so they were for actual use and did not need to be remove to sleep. They were no heavier or more delicate or harder to get off and or or harder to wash than any pillowcase, but they looked nicer.

IIRC they were from The Company Store.

Good luck.

They aren't HUMAN sons, but my boyz make me question the practicality of shams pretty much daily: they kick them off the bed while playing, chew the corners off them when teething, you name it...

I guess it depends if your son wants extra pillows so he can prop himself up while reading/studying etc...

They aren't HUMAN sons, but my boyz make me question the practicality of shams pretty much daily: they kick them off the bed while playing, chew the corners off them when teething, you name it...

I guess it depends if your son wants extra pillows so he can prop himself up while reading/studying etc...

{{!gwi}}

My 26 year old, when he stays over, doesn't know the meaning of a decorative sham.....I say don't bother...just get pillow cases that match the bedding and call it a day.

i would get shams or European size pillow that can be used (and drooled on).

I've got one in college and a high school senior. I think they would both be just as happy without the sham pillows, but they have both liked to have a second pillow for different reasons. They used to have bedrest pillows for reading, etc., but my oldest uses a second bed pillow now and the youngest uses a body pillow across the back of his queen bed. It stays there most of the time, settling into the gap at the head of the bed like a big bolster. He puts his sleeping pillow in front or on top and and when he's ready to sleep, he just slides down and snuggles in. No tossing pillows off and having to round them up to make the bed.

European shams in a masculine choice of pattern, fabric, whatever.

Different stores call them different things, but if you think he might want something while relaxing in bed but sitting up, I'd get what Bed Bath & Beyond calls a "backrest" -- the cushions that have the little side arms. (They're not expensive on the BB&B website -- might mean they are a bit small. But there are lots out there.)

Target has ones with sports teams' logos, online only.

Get them in a print fabric or very resistant so that excessive wrinkling will show less, there's no point in trying to explain how to use them with care.

My DH is the same :(

My boys are 7 and 10. They have shams, in addition to sleeping pillows, on their beds. The shams are removed for sleeping and replaced when they make their beds in the morning.

My sons don't have shams. They each have two pillows on their bed, covered in regular ol' pillowcases. I am fussy about a lot of things in my house, but shams vs pillowcases is not one of them. Sssh, don't tell anyone, but I also don't have shams on my bed, because DH is a boy who doesn't understand Sham Rules, either.

File this under "decorate for the life you have, not for the life you wish you had."

Your future daughter-in-law will appreciate if he learns about shams now, so he doesn't just ball up her carefully GW-vetted shams toss them in a corner at night (do I speak from experience? I'll never tell...)

My younger son just has a nicely-shammed cheap pillow that hides the sleeping pillow during the day, goes on the floor at night. Me, I slip the pillow into only one side of the sham, not both.

Baroo2u, what gorgeous pooches. What kind are they and what are their names?

Here's the kind I mean.

It is the same kind of fabric as an ordinary pillowcase. It is just as easy to get on and off and to wash. It is the same size as a sleeping pillow.

But because it is closed on both ends and has the "border" around it, it looks a little nicer.

Boys happy. Girls happy.

Here is a link that might be useful: Women's Pillows are from Mars, Men just want to sleep

I second the idea of European shams. They are terrific for leaning against while reading, and because of the different shape, don't get confused with sleeping pillows.

See, I nix the idea of European shams. Because they are not sleeping pillows, they are of the ilk that end up on the floor. By using a standard size pillow, you don't have the "show pillows vs sleeping pillows" phenomenon. Two of them usually provide enough support to read, etc.

Arlene, thanks for your kind words--Bene and Sunny are Basenjis. The breed is known for being very stubbord, difficult to train & hard on decor, particularly shams or any type of decorative cushion!

Sounds like you are doing some starting over and you don't really need the expense of something that isn't going to be used or the headache or a conflict with your son over them. Have you asked your son? If you are looking at finishing school, he's old enough to have thoughts and would probably appreciate being asked. I wouldn't worry about a future DIL at this point.

My youngest was the one who wanted the body pillow. He was the one who put it at the back/head of the bed like a bolster (not what I think the initial plan was) and he loves it. It was less than $10 at Target and I got him a fun cover for it -- also less than $10, and only one of each needed, The bedrest/back rest pillow was also less than $20 when they had those, but they didn't last that long -- they sprung holes at the arms (aided by them turning the pillows over and using them like a wedge) and they can't be washed when they get dirty or dusty, We liked the idea, but not the application.

Guess I've had it all wrong growing up in Europe. We actually SLEEP with the European "shams" or whatever you may call them. I mean square pillows, 26x26, with a regular bed linen-type cover.

Hmm, odd, I dont recall sleeping on square pillows in Europe ... maybe the hotels I stay in cater too much to Americans!

I never feel that my neck is in the right position when I sleep on a square?

My toes hang at the edge of a bed as it is - I wouldn't use a European square for sleeping because it would put my head even further down. Wouldn't say it's wrong for anyone else, but I never even considered it. Also never saw the 26" x 26" squares until I was grown and had kids of my own.

Lived and have family in the UK and no square sleeping pillows there either, going back 40+ years. Our German friends had duvets (before we had heard of them), but had standard rectangular sleeping pillows.

NSoccermom,

I've generally heard of the square pillows referred to as "European Squares". A sham can be any shape or size that is designed to be a sort of a slipcover for a pillow. The pillow itself is not a sham.

European sham for square (or other) pillows has an edge that is of same fabric, not attached but seamed, leaving about 1-2 inches "flange" but does not really support anything but holds the pillow in place and gives it an extra (or more refined) "edge."

Mtnrd----what a great idea to use regular sheet fabric shams---talk about killing two birds! Makes me want to replace all my regular pillow cases with "sham" cases.. which make the bed look "made" without all the fuss/hassle of extra and decorative pillows.

Joanie, I prefer them because otherwise you see the pillow from the open side ... and try as I may all our pillows look a bit unrespectable nekkid.

Mtnrd....Yes, a much nicer look! Do you normally purchase them from LL Bean? I would need king size as well as standard and of course would like a variety of colors. Thanks for any information.

This is diverting from the original question, but here goes: German standard pillows are 80cmx80cm, that's about 31 inches (about 70% of market share according to Wikipedia). They also have 40x80 cm pillows (comfort pillows), which are becoming more popular. However, the standard duvet set comes with the larger size.
{{!gwi}}

Four Seasons Geneva. Switzerland, is of course, a bit of an amalgam of European cultures, but they have been neutral on pillow sizes.

I wasn't kidding when I said maybe it's because I choose hotels geared toward the US market!

Do you sleep on a square pillow today? Isn't the high part of the pillow in the "wrong place"?

OP - sorry for the hijack

Joanie, even tho when I googled they were hard to find, I feel as though they are pretty common.

More digressing: No, I use the regular US size pillows now because of the pillow cases here and because I find them more comfortable. The square pillows are the more old fashioned style, and are prevalent in Germany and Austria --- and in less expensive hotels :) The rectangular pillows are more recent and in most upscale hotels (but there's also a pillow menu).
I'm not sure what you mean by "high part." The original square pillows were/are down, so they actually quite floppy and flat when you lie on them. You can double them up for more support

Vier Jahreszeiten Kempinski, Munich

Four Seasons, Volkach, Bavaria; see how floppy?

Hotel Sacher, Vienna (Austrian pillows are actually not quite square, but 70x90 cm)

Kempinkski Bristol Berlin; you can see how they are folded over

Adlon Kempinski, Berlin

Engadiner Post, Switzerland (again doubled up)

I think that's why the pillows are called "European" square, 'cause that's what a normal European pillow used to be like....

Anyway, to return to the OP:
I'd only get pillows that are actually for use, regardless of size.

Link below is to a blog about big European pillows (bad!) and lack of top sheet (more bad).

Here is a link that might be useful: scroll down to the pillows

Baroo, I was certain that the boy on the left was a Basenji and thought the one on the right was as well but wasn't sure. They are two of the most stunning dogs I have ever seen!

I would skip the shams for a boy if they wouldn't appreciate them anyway. I have six pillows on our bed two each that we use with pillow cases on and one each that have shams on them. The shammed pillows are removed at night and placed on the floor until I make the bed in the morning.