I thought it'd be fun to make a collection of the FB status updates that we encounter. I can't post this on FB for obvious reasons!

For instance, I have a friend who writes cryptic messages constantly. She's a research scientist at a university with a PhD in biochemistry, so I know she can communicate.

Some variation of "I'm about to lose it!!" is a common one.

So six people ask what's wrong. Never an answer.

"Ewww, what's that smell?"

We don't know. None of your 300 friends are sitting beside you at your desk.

"Ewwwwwwwwwwww!"

We've been burned too many times so we're not asking if it's a smell again or something else.

"Came home to a lame dog!!'

Me: Is he okay?

Hours pass. I'm worried that he's got that paralyzing hindquarters disease dogs get. Figure she's at the vet.

Three hours later: Yes.

Me (pulling teeth): Was he injured?

Her: Yes.

Her: Gimpy. It's because they escaped.

Still don't know what happened to the dog.

My adult niece: You don't deserve my love.

Me: You talkin' to me?? ;)

Her: No response. Figured she didn't appreciate my humor. Or maybe it was addressed to me!

My other adult niece: 28.

She gets several likes. Hmm, they must be in on the secret.

A month later: 33

Is she fond of numbers?

A month later: 38 1/2

I finally figure out it's her weight loss.