How annoying, they probably shared a bottle of wine before arriving there. Did anyone try to shush them ?

Someone a few rows back did try to shush, but the attempt was sort of lost as it was pretty far away. I do not try to shush, I am not a hall monitor, so I usually grin and bear unless the offenses are so egregious that an usher must be told.

There are tons of children at the Nutcracker, and they are whispering questions, humming along sometimes, and gasping ("are they dead?") during the performance and none of that bothers me one bit. It's perfectly fine--- this is a family type of show and I'm very happy to see parents taking their children to it! We started taking our kids at around age three, making sure we had aisle seats in case we needed to make a quick getaway or bathroom break. The children's noise is usually an authentic response to the stage action (unless there is whining or crying and then an usher usually takes the lead and tells the parents to remove the child temporarily to the lobby). It's the adults who come to something like this and then misbehave who bother me....why were they even there? They weren't the only ones, by any means. Even after the announcement of NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, people--- adults---- were taking pictures of the performance with their cell phones, taking selfies and texting all during the show.

I wish they would start offering some food free, cell phone free performances. It would not kill anyone to sit for a couple of hours without eating or drinking and no one is so important s/he cannot switch off a phone for an hour at a time and check for messages during the interval. They would lose the concession revenue, but perhaps they could add $20 to each ticket for the privilege of watching without these distractions? It is very disrespectful to the performers to eat while watching, IMO.

Yeah, it's a real balance for the venue...if they allow food and drinking they're more likely to get more patrons...who spend money. We go to a place for some shows where they not only serve wine before hand, but you are allowed to bring it in with you. For the most part people are well behaved, but once in awhile a drunken patron will act up. Esp bad when they start interacting with the performers. It gets embarrassing for everyone involved....except, of course, the drunk.

What a shame they just didn't leave at intermission when they *should have* realized it just wasn't for them. No shame in trying something and realizing it's not your thing but there is much shame in ruining other people's enjoyment.

Speaking of drunks, we were at a local minor league ice hockey game (never again!). Two big guys came in our row to sit next to my big guy husband. They were wuhooing and seemed drunkish as they approached our row and we all thought "oh no." But once they sat down they were perfectly behaved, no inappropriate yelling, no foul words, they enjoyed the game (unlike me!) and if they continued to drink I didn't notice. You just never know. They might be telling stories about the lady near them that was, in turns, so bored and so offended by the violence that she looked like she was being physically tortured. To my credit, I did not yell anything or use foul words or get drunk. And now I know I'd rather have root canal then sit through another hockey game. You live, you learn, you agree to go to dinner with the others but leave in your own car before a sporting event.

Lol, Hhireno! I agree, no shame in just leaving!

Thanksgiving weekend we took my MIL with Alzheimer's to our local production of the Nutcracker ballet. It is an excellent show and I love seeing so many of our town's children involved. The principal roles are danced by professional dancers from smallish companies in the south. MIL sat for an hour through the first act and we discreetly left through a side door during the interval. She enjoyed herself immensely, in part I think because there was no dialogue that would have confused her. (She can't watch movies or live plays for that reason.). We had a lot of fun and it was a good outing for her, but we left before she could get restive and start making inappropriate and/or loud comments.

Confucius said: "You can take the pig out of the sty, but you can't take the sty out of the pig". Or maybe ctnchpr said that, I don't remember...

Hahaha ctnchpr, I will be quoting that!

It is so sad when others at public events, no matter what they are, set such a bad example in front of children or ruin the entertainment for others. We have been at concerts where this happened but never witnessed it at something like a Nutcracker performance. We go to the local ballet performance of Nutcracker about every couple of years as a friend's daughter has performed for the last 10 years (this is her last year). We used to go with our daughter and now our DGD. It's pretty wonderful! But it can surely be spoiled by what you witnessed, kswl.

I don't go to the movies anymore. It's a bummer because I love going to see a movie but I just can't stand all the talking and eating.

In fact, even live rock concerts are a problem! DH and I went to a Tom Petty concert and had really great seats (at the tune of $250 a piece!). A group of people sat in front of us and at first I thought it was a bunch of young girls because they were talking non-stop and taking selfies every few seconds. I finally got a good look at them and they were women in there 50s. Then behind us, I had to listen to a group of men talk about their deer blinds the whole time.

It's a lack of respect and feelings of entitlement that is so prevalent today - and it's not just the young.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience at the hockey game. The last Ducks vs Kings game at Honda Center was great. The teams tried to stay out of the penalty box so there wasn't fighting at all. Because of the number of kids there, people tried to keep the language and rudeness under control. Maybe it's the area but half the arena were fans from LA and it seemed loud, not rude to me.

I expect quiet and respect at the ballet or concert. No one should have a phone or tablet on during the performance. During Romeo and Juliet last year, I asked a teenager twice to put her bright screen away. I asked nicely. She was bored and texting. Finally, I called the usher. I didn't want to do that.

I don't like food in a theatre. I find it distracting. It doesn't bother me as much at a sporting event. The price of the food at the game is the real annoyance.

That is so annoying and distracting, but seems to be commonplace these days. We only go to movies at the Alamo Drafthouse now because they so strictly enforce their no cell phone policy.

When my daughter was about 14, I went to see a movie with her, and she kept pulling her cell phone out. After asking her twice to stop, I got up and left the theater and sat in the lobby. She came out shortly, and I told her to turn off her phone and put it in her purse if she wanted me to come back into the theater with her. She did, and I have not had that experience with her again. I am not saying she doesn't still do it, but she sure doesn't do it in my presence.

The thing that bugs me the most is people taking photos during performances when there was an announcement right before the concert that photography is strictly forbidden. Can't fix stupid.

In fairness to the hockey players and people who like hockey, I dislike all sports. I was just trying to be 'a good sport' and attended the game with friends. We can now check it off the list: saw the new arena, check; watched a hockey game, check.

I didn't hear any foul language, but I did read the lips on one player and it wasn't a polite word. I'm was more concerned about foul language because they are trying to make it a family friendly event not because I'm such a delicate flower.

I found the fighting, and the cheering regarding the fighting, to be disturbing. Both my husband and my friend said it is only a few knuckleheads, most of the players don't fight. The funny thing was neither could hear what the other said to me, because of the way we were sitting, and both used the word knuckleheads. So I am a delicate flower when it comes to physcial violence.

A few months ago I had to move up a row in a movie theater because the old people behind continued to talk through the movie. Not a "what did he say?" or "who is this character?" way. People like that need to rent DVDs and stay home where they can chat to their hearts content. Unless the building is on fire, why can't they be quiet for 80-120 minutes?

It is so upsetting to look forward to an event only to have inconsiderate people ruin it. Each year we took our children to various plat houses to see A Christmas Carol. They were always so well behaved and looked forward to this tradition each year. Our grandsons, now seven and eight and would very much enjoy doing the same and would be well behaved as well, as it is expected of them.

About ten years ago we flew with a group of friends to Vegas because Celine Dion had a show and one of the friends was a huge fan. Because it was a spur of the moment event the seats that we were able to reserve were towards the back. The people sitting directly behind me had several children under the age of four with them. The adults talked loudly and the one child kept kicking the back of my seat. I turned several times and asked the adult, who was holding the child to please keep the child from kicking the seat. Since we were towards the center of the row I didn't want to stand up and cause others to be annoyed by asking an attendant to intervene so I suffered through the show and didn't enjoy it at all. When we left I asked to speak to a manager. She apologized and said that the people that work in the hotel are allowed to attend the shows and can bring their children for free. I said that I can appreciate that but I paid a lot of money for my seat and didn't enjoy the show at all because an employee's child was kicking the back of the seat. They took my name and address and about three months later they sent me a book about the show. I gave it to my friend who loves CD. I will never go to Caesar's Palace for a show again.

I'm ashamed when adults misbehave in such a thoughtless manner. Why do they attend events that they don't want to enjoy respectfully?

Our town has an annual outdoor show that runs for a couple of months during the summer. People are allowed to bring beverages and wine is served in the waiting area. Two years ago, a profoundly drunk man could be heard throughout the ampitheatre as he would laugh or applaud or make a comment about two or three beats after the general audience. At first, I found it annoying, but then it almost became amusing like watching a buffoon. Of course, I wasn't seated near him. I'm sure those patrons were probably furious.

My community's major theaters do not permit food/drink in the auditorium. Signs are clearly posted, announcements are made, but there are always many who try to get past the ushers. The knowledge about how one politely listens/observes live performances -- even movies -- is fading, I think. Some people think it is equivalent to going to a bar to hear a band, or feel put upon to behave differently than they normally would.

The worst example of someone not knowing about proper etiquette at a performance was at the high school's holiday concert a few years ago. A family (obviously there because their child was part of the performance) kept talking loudly, allowed the smaller children to run amok, and were really badly disruptive. Not just a little, really badly. Finally many audience members started shushing; when the family realized the shushes were aimed at them, they stalked out complaining loudly ( I expect out of embarrassment) about (paraphrasing here) "intolerance". I felt so bad for their child!

I stopped going to the movies years ago for the same reasons. It even drives me crazy on shows like Voice and Idol when the contestant is singing a ballad and the audience is hooping and hollering....it's a BALLAD for goodness sake...a sad song...not a rousing tune to dance or clap along to. Show respect for the performer and hush up! I don't know why the producers allow it.

I feel your pain Kswl! Not much consideration for others these days...its all about ME.

Wow, at the PNW Ballet performances, no food or drink is allowed in the performance hall at all. The worst I've had to contend with is women with too much perfume...people of all ages who can't seem so sit for an hour (or 5 min) without checking their cell phones, causing a visual distraction in the darkened theatre (but the ushers will admonish anyone they see doing that).

Our Nutcracker set designs were all done by Maurice Sendak, so there are plenty of kids in the audience. One year, I watched one little girl (maybe 3 yo) in the front row of the dress circle seats (the first balcony) dance excitedly through most of the performance, while some old curmudgeon behind her, kept admonishing the parents to keep her in her seat as it was disturbing her enjoyment of the performance. Really? What could be more enjoyable than a 3 year old entranced with the Nutcracker?

I would have alerted an usher.

Our local music hall allows alcoholic beverages in the theater. I usually sit on the aisle due to my knee. A guy sitting next to me got up 6 times during a recent concert, and gave me the stink eye after I said "Again?" when he got up the 5th time.. Why they didn't get aisle seats, I don't know. And the cell phone videos/photo takers need to be banned, it is really terrible now. I'm there to view the performer, not your phone.

"I don't go to the movies anymore. It's a bummer because I love going to see a movie but I just can't stand all the talking and eating."

It's maddening, isn't it? The last time I went to the movies, a group sitting in the back row talked through the entire movie as if they were sitting in their own living room. Another man chatted with his small children (an adult movie) throughout, as if it were completely acceptable to talk freely in a theatre! Many, many people had their cell phones out, texting or whatever with absolutely no concern about disturbing the other patrons.

When I asked the management if they could do anything about it, they said there really isn't anything they can do, except to refund my money. So, bottom line is, it's okay for the curteous customers to leave, but the rude customers can't be asked to behave. Appalling!

"When my daughter was about 14, I went to see a movie with her, and she kept pulling her cell phone out. After asking her twice to stop, I got up and left the theater and sat in the lobby. She came out shortly, and I told her to turn off her phone and put it in her purse if she wanted me to come back into the theater with her. She did, and I have not had that experience with her again. I am not saying she doesn't still do it, but she sure doesn't do it in my presence.'

'The thing that bugs me the most is people taking photos during performances when there was an announcement right before the concert that photography is strictly forbidden. Can't fix stupid."

They make announcements before movies, too, asking people not to use their cell phones.

Now that DH and I are retired, we have gone to weekday matinees at the movies and are one of 0-6 other people in the entire theatre. It's actually a little weird feeling, but certainly we don't worry about talking, rumpling candy wrappers or anything else.

Annie, that's my movie time of choice--I have been doing matinees for YEARS. Only time I ever go to an evening show is if a friend invites me. And frankly, I prefer to go alone during the day anyway. I adore movies and especially the sense of being transported away into the story/experience. I can't stand anyone wanting to talk or even share my popcorn, thankyouverymuch :).

I really have gotten accustomed to being either alone or one of only a small group in the theater. Stories like the ones related here would infuriate me too, for sure.

Ann

Americans have become so rude they actually can't stand to be near each other. Many movie theaters are barely scraping by for lack of traffic. You can now buy a 4k 80" screen and enjoy even a special effects blockbuster in the comfort of your open home. Why go to a theater and put up with idiots?

The only movie theater I will go to now is an obscenely expensive Super Lux. Waiter food and drink service. Cushy leather recliners. But the real benefit is that you sit only with the person you came with. The recliners are in pairs, and everyone else is completely out of earshot. There are big empty spaces in front of you, behind you and to either side. Worth the money. I'd rather go less often and enjoy it more.

This goes on EVERYWHERE. Even in college classrooms, the library, and the workplace. There is no such thing as peace and quiet anymore. What used to be good manners. Parents must have stopped teaching this stuff. People never shut up or stop goofing off or feeding their faces. When will the madness end! Lol. Drives me insane.

This is weird, my post replicated itself in a new thread. I will ask GW monitors to remove it. ???

My friend had this happen last year- their daughter dances in the Nutcracker and at last years performance they sat in front of a woman and child and the child was constantly asking the mom questions and the woman loudly was explaining the entire performance to her kid. My friend's husband turned around and said something to the woman which I guess earned him lots of stern looks from other audience members. ..I guess he was " some old curmudgeon", lol. But he wanted to enjoy seeing his daughter up there.

Personally I find the nutcracker boring as hell but I could manage to sit there quietly!

Way back when my daughter was in 5th grade, some 20 years ago, she attended summer school/care (while I was at work) at a private, French immersion school.

The evening after her first day there, she reported to me that the students were expected to keep their feet on the floor and raise their hands to be called on before speaking. She found this to be quite unusual! I was shocked to discover that such behavior was NOT the norm in her well regarded suburban grade school!

So I would guess that the deterioration in public behavior has deep roots, not just from lack of parents teaching it.

I almost fell asleep the first/last time I went to see the Nutcracker. :-/ Granted this was over a decade ago when I had three semi-young children at home and probably hadn't slept well in years.

We went to see Hall & Oates a few years ago at the Alabama Theater. Some drunk guy kept yelling out names of songs for them to sing next. If I had been with him or sitting near him, we might have exchanged a few words.

But what brought me back to this thread was what just happened to me today. Since DH was getting his car serviced this morning, my DGS (who is home sick today) and I went to my house to let out dogs. I saw a pretty nasty wreck at the intersection of our Hwy and the road over mtn. Thank goodness no one was hurt. As I was leaving our house, a neighbor about a mile from us, their landscaper with a trailer of pinestraw was pulling out of the driveway and looking in the other direction. Another truck was headed towards me in the other lane, so I had no where to go.... So I blew my horn. Not even a loooooong one, just a warning. He blew his horn and flicked me off. I put my brakes on hard enough for my purse and half the things in it to go on the floorboard. So I came to a stop a few hundred feet past him to pick it up.

I guess when I came to a stop he thought it was time to have words, because the next thing I know I'm looking in my rear view mirror and see him coming around the front of his truck. I Started pulling off, since 1) I did not want to get shot today and 2) DGS was in the car. When he sees this, he squats and shoots me a double bird!!! WTH? So I say "Seriously?!" to which DGS (3yo) starts asking me what was wrong. I told him just a crazy driver.

He must have been going to put out pinestraw near the road, because I never saw him in my mirror again. I even stopped at the main entrance gate to get the things rolling around the floorboard up so they didn't roll while I was crossing the mountain.

I have mixed emotions about calling the owner to see which landscape company that was and calling them. He could be fired, and right before the holidays. And he knows where I live (for the most part) and what I drive. Who know what he might do if fired. But seriously!!

It starts at home, but it is shocking what goes on in the classroom these days that teachers permit. This all carries over into the workplace. I've heard some teachers say they can't discipline or do anything about it. Younger ones probably see it as the norm. We were not allowed to chew gum or pass notes moreless talk, eat, make popcorn, noise or otherwise disrupt any class in progress. There was a dress code too. I think today's attire and focus on it is distracting from the business they are there for, of acquiring an education.

I've never been to a venue that allows food or drink inside the auditorium.

I love live theater...love...love..love it. I don't understand how people (adults or non adults) can text during any performance. I was at a recent show and the row across from me was lit up with smart phones.

I too no longer go to the movies. With the talking and texting, it's just not enjoyable.

Why can't parents wait until their children are old enough to sit quietly through a production before bringing them to one, or use the production as an opportunity to teach their children how to behave in public theaters? If the parents just loudly explain the entire show to their children with no concern for the other patrons, everyone suffers and the kid grows up to be one of those annoying people who can't stop texting during a movie or show. It doesn't matter if it is a "children's" play or performance. The performance is being put on for everyone's enjoyment, not one person's child.

I think the Nutcracker is typically filled with children too young to enjoy it. The first act, scene one is SO slow moving with no dialog and very little action, so children get restless and it also bores many adults (I always love the music and looking at the costumes and hairstyles, etc). I think if parents told the story beforehand or read a book or watched a little video to prepare them for a kind of slow ride for a while, it might make it easier. I've seen so many 1 to 5 or 6 year olds being carried out sound asleep, or having meltdowns because they are bored and it's difficult to keep them quiet, until the action on stage picks up and gets more fun for them. Especially the night performances; it's easily past their bedtimes. If people want their children to love the ballet, take them when they are a bit older. It's not like the production is never going to happen again.

I agree, I can't see too many young children being able to really appreciate it. I'm sure they'd all much rather watch Frozen and I can't say I blame them. ;)

Using the smart phones during theater or movies is just insufferable, though. I would imagine if they had people actively trying to police that, it would become an ever bigger distraction....terrible. Maybe they should offer a few rows in the very back for people that want to light up their phones during shows. And then a glass vestibule off to the side for people and kids that want to talk loudly! See, I'm full of ideas!

My friend is going to this years nutcracker next weekend- I will ask her to look around and see if she sees any little kids playing games on their parents iPhones....I see that so often at restaurants and stores these days.

"Maybe they should offer a few rows in the very back for people that want to light up their phones during shows."

Gah!!! I always sit in the back because it's easier on my eyes and I don't get stuck with someone kicking my seat for 90 minutes. I can already tell you that from my vantage point in the back, this is already happening! Please don't wish any more of these insufferables on me, lol!!! As far as choosing to accomodate the rude offenders vs. having the added distraction of policing the theaters, at least watching the offenders get tossed out of the theater would be enjoyable for the rest of us.

"And then a glass vestibule off to the side for people and kids that want to talk loudly!"

They already have this. It's called the entrance doors to the theatre. Those who want to talk loudly should stay on the appropriate side of the glass. The outside.

This post was edited by jellytoast on Tue, Dec 16, 14 at 19:11

I don't think I'd confront anyone in such a situation, no matter how annoying .

Remember the old man who turned around and shot a man in a movie theater for texting, after words were exchanged, in Florida in January?

Just not worth it.

Marlene, this used to be the case: No drinks at all inside the auditorium for live events like dance or concerts, but, like a PP mentioned, they realize they can make money off drinks.

gsciencechick...that is really sad. I haven't seen it here in Portland, OR or Los Angeles....yet. I guess we are not immune though.

I can see this has touched a nerve! Bad public behavior by adults is not only annoying, at worst it frays the fabric of our social interactions--- like Allison's experience....frightening. And then we find ourselves (or I find myself) retreating into a gated world in which we don't have to deal with that sort of thing.

My kids attended live theater from a very early age as we lived in NYC. One of DS1's preschool classmates was the dance captain for Cats and I think that was the first Broadway show they saw. But I always got aisle seats and we left if anyone was seriously restless. We ALWAYS went over the story beforehand, in fact we had a pop up book of the Nutcracker so the kids were ready for each dance or event as it unfolded onstage. I always considered ballet the perfect "gateway" performance because all they had to do was watch, with no dialog to confuse or miss. We went to see puppet shows at Asphalt Green and there was a fairy tale theater somewhere in the east eighties that had morning performances just right for small children. I would never have let their crankiness or bad humor spoil someone else's experience!

I guess I am just a cranky old curmudgeon now...

It was a tad frightening and I did feel my hands shaking for about thirty minutes afterwards. I've about decided to find out the company and call from my cell phone with a vague complaint. Maybe the owner/boss will have a group meeting to discuss the behavior. No one will be called out, reprimanded or fired, and maybe the man that did it will count his blessings I didn't narrow it down to him and learn something from it. I know everyone has a bad day now and then, but this was way beyond that.

I think more performers should call out bad behavior from the stage. Wouldn't it be funny for a ballerina to stop dancing and say, "excuse me but won't you just shut up?"

I was at a Ryan Adams concert around the same time as this one, and he had to ask someone at our show to stop using her camera with a flash, too.

Here is a link that might be useful: Ryan Adams reprimands audience member

I think that would probsbly get a standing ovation from the long suffering, well-behaved audience members, SueB, brilliant idea!

I've taken my godchildren (3 and 5) to the Nutcracker twice at their request. Got aisle seats but haven't had to exit yet. We go to the matinees, to performances specifically marked kid friendly. That said, the kids know how to act and are better behaved than at least 50% of the adults that sit around us. Our local symphony is small and offers kid-focused performances several times a year.

I find they're good for about 3/4 of the show and the last 1/4 is a little touch and go. They have a Barbie Nutcracker dvd or something, anyway, they know the plot and the music pretty well. I like taking kids to things that are a little bit over their heads as long as they're up for it, I think it stretches their brains. This time I taught the five year old about time signatures during intermission and she had a good time silently counting time for the second half.

Many years ago, I took my dear friends' 5 year old to the Nutcracker in Seattle. He loved it so much and was very well behaved. As we left the theatre, he said to me, "I wish I had a tuxedo." FIVE!

Why do you want a tuxedo? "So I could be dressed up like everyone else." So I started buying him tuxedos for his Christmas/Chanukah gift every single year, given before our annual Nutcracker performance. It was such a fun thing for us.

Olychick, what a precious memory! He was one styling young man!

Olychick, what a great story and memory for you and your friend's son! Adorable!

We sing in a local Living Christmas Tree every year. There are 5 major performances Thurs-Sun, plus a shortened 'Tree for Children' that lasts a little over 30 minutes on Sunday afternoon. All performances are free and include over 100 singers and a fine orchestra (including members of our local symphony). Sometimes there is a creative dance group who may be using the aisles during some songs. Nursery/Child care in the church is provided for those who come to performances, but some insist on bringing their small children into the church and they do act out. Naturally there are some screamers who scream out at the most inappropriate parts, usually the quietest moments of all or running in the aisles causing distractions. It is really hard to believe parents a) don't believe their own children can be disruptive, b) won't take advantage of a nursery/child care when provided.

I am so sorry, kswl. I took my mother and son to see "The Nutcracker" at the Academy of Music in Philadelphia when he was five (he is now 35). I got box seats and it was just a lovely, lovely experience. I hope next time will be wonderful for you.

I just heard a segment on the radio that reported attendance at movies is down. What a surprise, she said while rolling her eyes.

If they want it to improve, they should figure out how to teach people the difference between the food court and the theater.

It absolutely disgusts me when I go to the movie theatre and someone sits next to me (or even just close) and opens up their big styrofoam container of chili cheese fries-or whatever is inside, and proceeds to lick their fingers, not to mention the smell of it too. Yuck! However popcorn and candy doesn't bother me in the least!