Asked to write letter of recommendation.......help!

9 years ago

i am retiring next week. My coworker totally caught me off guard today when she asked for a letter before I go. She is a secretary and I am an admin asst.

I explained that I thought this was usually done by a supervisor, not an "equal." She was insistent that it is appropriate. Yes or no?

More importantly, I would find it difficult to recommend her. She was always charged with part of my job when I was on vacation but she did it half-a$$ed and I would come back to a stack of stuff. I would sit with her and go over the stack and show her the ropes, but the next time it would be the same thing all over again. Clueless boss thought she was getting it done because said boss never showed any interest in my job whatsoever so never bothered to ask or check. I never said anything until recently when boss said "at least Sally can handle that part of your work until a new person is trained." I felt I had to tell boss at that point......no, she really can't.

I will say she is more knowledgeable than me about Word, Excel, etc; however she wants me to say how she did my job whenever I was away. She freaked out when I told her I was retiring because she knew boss would probably find out she wasn't doing the work. She even asked me if I had said anything to boss....and I hadn't at that point.

Honestly, I don't think she even does her own job very well i.e if there's a meeting and she has to make 50 copies of ten different pages she always screws it up..goodness...how hard is that? Lots of dumb mistakes like that. I will say she is a nice person with a big heart, but I don't think that counts here.

Sorry to be long......what would you do?

Comments (11)

justgotabme
9 years ago
Though it is appropriate, I would simply tell her you are sorry, but you do not feel comfortable writing that sort of letter. Period.

This post was edited by justgotabme on Tue, Nov 18, 14 at 22:02
Olychick
9 years ago
I agree. I think you can say that since you are retiring and will not be available should anyone want to check her references, that a recommendation from you would be moot. You can also say that the boss will have a better idea of how well she managed your job when you were gone, because, well, you were gone!
kswl2
9 years ago
I would just say no, you are not able do write the letter, and leave off any explanations.
Elraes Miller
9 years ago
You have already explained "no". Just leave and forget it. If she asks again, remind her you already answered no. Although I am curious why she wants the letter, perhaps to get your job. Just curious, wouldn't go there and extend the opportunity for her to ask again. She may be nice, and proficient in some requirements, but sounds to me like she doesn't "get it". Which means she will keep asking until you use the one word no.
jmc01
9 years ago
Not write the letter.

Don't lie.
MagdalenaLee
9 years ago
Don't do it and don't make an excuse with a lie.

Just apologize and say your are "not able" or you are "not in a position" to write the letter. If she persists, then she's being rude and then a simple but firm "no" is all you need.
ellendi
9 years ago
How many days left Joanie? My goodness, never a dull moment in that place.
I agree with the group. If she persists, just keep repeating the same things. "So sorry. but I don't feel I'm in the position to write a recommendation letter."

Your boss is in for a rude awakening. Do you have a few friends there who can fill you in on the fall out once you leave? Should be interestingÃ¢ÂÂ¦...
Holly- Kay
9 years ago
I agree with the above. A firm "no, I wouldn't be comfortable doing so" should be enough. I would hope that she will have the grace to not inquire as to why.
outsideplaying_gw
9 years ago
Agreeing here too. However, I do know that some people can't take a simple 'no' for an answer, so be prepared to hold your ground. I'm with ellendi, I hope you can get the 'rest of the story' once you leave, just for kicks.
mike_kaiser_gw
9 years ago
Obviously she doesn't feel her (and I suppose your) boss would write a letter of recommendation or she doesn't want the boss to know she's looking for a new job. The later is certainly reasonable.

Since you're retiring and she's not a very good employee anyway, let her be someone else's problem. Writing a glowing recommendation! ;-0
joaniepoanie
Original Author
9 years ago
Ha ha Ellendi....yes the place has been a laugh a minute the last 4 years! Things will be fine as far as my job goes, the person replacing me is smart as a whip and I told her she can email or call if she really gets stuck....and I know she won't be a nuisance.

Thanks everyone.....my hope is she doesn't bring it up again, but if she does I am going to repeat that I think it's inappropriate writing such a letter for a coworker...that it should come from a supervisor. If she presses, I will explain that such a letter won't carry any weight with anyone since she only did one aspect of my job a few times a year. Hopefully that will nip it in the bud.