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Rude people

Posted by pesky1 (My Page) on
Sat, Oct 6, 12 at 16:04

I just got back from a trip to a store that allows dogs. I often bring one of my dogs to that store because a) they're well behaved, b) they enjoy alone time with me, and c) the dogs really enjoy interacting with people who want to pet them. I always have my dog under control and walking directly at my side and they're never allowed to approach someone.

Today, an older man and his wife were in the same aisle and he said something snarky to his wife about me & my dog-just loud enough for me to hear. He wasn't the only one, another man did the same thing to his companion as they passed by me. I was pretty ticked off but I didn't say anything.

It just gets me that people are so freaking RUDE! DH said they probably wouldn't have said anything to a man-and I suspect he's right. I just feel like I should have said something, but I didn't want to get in a confrontation with a jackass. He's entitled to his opinion, but his rudeness was uncalled for. Then I got to thinking his comment was very misogynistic and I got even madder.

I'm so upset-it's a non-issue really, but I'm mad! I need to come up with a good snappy come back when I hear this stuff. I get it all the time with my job...a woman doing a 'man's job', but that seems different. I've got a thick skin, but when it's personal-that really gets me!


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Rude people

What did he say?


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RE: Rude people

"Why'd she bring her GD dog in here? What the h*lls wrong with her? ..mumblemumble"

The other guy mentioned something in passing like "Stupid to bring a dog in here"


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RE: Rude people

I would say with a smile as you look directly at them, "I bring my dog because it is allowed and it is a fun experince for both of us!" Then keep walking. No anger involved.


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RE: Rude people

I was complaining to a friend about a woman I'd just witnessed being incredibly rude to a store clerk. She brought me up short by reminding me that I had no idea what had gone on in that woman's life to make her be so rude. Since then I've tried to remind myself of that when someone is rude to me. If it's appropriate, I'll try to turn the situation around so that they have an opportunity to leave happier than they began.

I know your initial reaction is to say something rude back, but then you have two people feeling bad and that can't be good karma.


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Ugh! My mom works in retail and she says the "grumpy old men" who insist on accompanying their wives are the bane of her day.


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bestyears, I was listening to a radio talk show about bad neighbors and everyone calling in had a "grumpy old man" bad neighbor story. Maybe your mother is on to something...


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My husband and 2 friends were comparing notes on their parents. A bit surprisingly, all three (in their 50s) still had both parents alive and married to the original spouse. All three also agreed that the fathers in the equation were grumpy old men and seemed to be holding the mothers back from being more active and vibrant.

All three also expressed worry about what might happen if the mother should die first. Who is going to deal with these grumpy old men without the buffer of the mother?

I agree with ellendi. If they aren't dog people they might not realize your dog is welcome in that store. Take the chance to education them. And then walk away being grateful that you have a nice dog and they're stuck with a grumpy old man.


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I don't know why some people feel they have the right to behave so poorly but they do. I think a lot of people feel it's okay to be like that because they assume no one will say anything and usually they don't. I used to bite my tongue but now I don't especially when the comments are directed towards something I love. I absolutely would have had no problem replying with, "Excuse me, I bring my dog because it makes us both happy. Since animals are allowed in the store and he/she isn't bothering you, then its really none of your business now is it? I realize a lot of people consider responding to be bad karma, but I don't agree. I think it's all in what you respond with and how you handle the situation but sometimes standing up for yourself and putting someone in their place is just necessary.


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Have you ever heard older people say "Now that I am (fill in the age) I can say what I want!" As if now they have the right to be grumpy, insulting or worse? I don't get it.
As we age, do we just lose our patience?


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Ahhh, the "sotto voce" insult. It's a passive-aggressive thing men seem to do, in my experience.


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Pesky,

I am sorry this happened to you. It is difficult to remember that some people are very afraid of dogs, and instead of wanting to show their fear, they show their disdain. My father is one of these people and probably would have said the same thing to you. Not because he is meaning to be rude, but because he would worry that your dog might move unexpectedly and make him lose his balance and fall. A very real fear among older folks.

Also "non dog people" don't understand that there is a big difference between good dog owners and bad ones.

When our DD was very small and we first went with her to the new dog park in our town(she was maybe 3 or 4 at the time) she was a bit afraid about the other dogs that would be there. Once we explained to her that the kind of dog owners that would take their dogs to a dog park and play with them are the same kind of dog owners who generally have well trained, socialized, and behaved dogs she understood that everything would be fine.

Not everyone does understand this.

So I guess that I'm saying that these folks were probably worried about themselves. If it happens again, I might say something like" Oh my, I had no idea that my dog would bother you. Skippy and I love to shop here because the store welcomes dogs, and it gives us an opportunity to use our social skills. And then "skippy....sit" ....and then wait for them to move on.

Or just the "skippy...sit" if you feel the explanation is too confrontational or a waste of your time and energy.

...And we could have a 100 comment post about Grumpy Old Men.....


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There's really never a good excuse to be rude. Cranky maybe. Rude...never.


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Pesky - don't let it get to you - that's what they want!! I would just ignore - I don't see how it helps anything to respond to them. I refuse to let someone like that get to me or get me down. Just because they are a grump, doesn't mean they're going to turn me into one.

tina


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Julie mentioned what was my first thought--and I"m sure all you dog owners are not going to like what I'm about to say: I completely understand, and agree, with the 'rude' guys and their 'rude' remarks.

I'm not a dog lover. That does not mean I am a horrible, rude, obnoxious, awful person. It does mean I do not care for dogs generally and I am afraid of random dogs. I don't think it particularly safe or hygienic to have dogs in stores or (GAK) restaurants. It impinges on *my* experience of those public places. I don't trust that anyone can guarantee his/her dog is perfectly well behaved in all conditions and in all settings, especially out of the dog (and owner's) home and comfort zone. I hate dogs coming at me, sniffing, nuzzling and generally getting in my personal zone. I do not want to pet your dog. I do not want to have to feign genial acquiesence to your dog's antics in public. I don't want to dodge your dog in the store, and I don't want to see and listen to your dog near me while I"m eating. What you choose to do with your dog at home, walking in the street or the park or in other non-restricted areas is fine. But in stores and museums and restaurants...other than service dogs, nope, I don't like having dogs around and I don't apologize for feeling that way.

I think if the store wants to be dog friendly that is their right. I think the store should be placing very large and very prominent signs at the entrance to alert everyone about that policy. I wouldn't be as likely to enter that store with that policy. And I think dog owners everywhere should realize and accept that some folks don't love them as much as you do and some-probably many-other customers don't want to share space with your dog. That doesn't mean I don't respect that dogs are beloved and treasured companions for many, many people. It just means those owners don't trump my right to have a peaceful dog-free shopping or dining experience.


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Pesky, you are clearly an animal lover, but remember, there are people out there that aren't, like my parents.

Growing up we could never have an "inside" dog, and the thought of dogs or cats in the house were considered dirty. There are many people in that generation that do think that way also. Now, my parents, mostly my mom, would voice her opionion to me, if I'm standing next to her, but never to the people, UNTIL recently...she has chemo brain from being sick, and her personality has changed, and she WILL let you know. I now keep that in mind about people, since my mom is going through this.

I don't think it was because you were a woman, I just think that many people in that generation were brought up differently, and they REALLY, REALLY think that about animals. I know, I personally would go to great lengths to not have my house have the smell of "dog" in the house, but, I am trying to overlook my shortcomings, if you can call it that. We now have a cat we LOVE but, I cannot take the smell of cat urine from her litter box, and I clean it about 3 times a day, and buy the best (I don't care how expensive it is) kitty litter, so I can't smell it! LOL!

People have a right to their own opinions, but the people need to contact the store manager if they have a problem, IMO.


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RE: Pets in stores

I'll play devils advocate for the non-pet people...and yes I'm mid-50's and perhaps becoming more opinionated and vocal. More correctly the individuals should have gone to store management and expressed their opinions. It's really the business's problem.....as they'll likely lose a paying customer. If enough people express concern to management then they'll know the preference (or lack thereof) of pets in stores. I realize I'm probably in the minority.

I don't care for pets in stores. Some people have allergies. Pets carry germs. They can be stinky and yippy. The unexpected noises of a store can be distracting to a pet. The sudden unexpected moves of pets can be dangerous for elderly buying customers. Since when did we elevate pets to baby status? At least for a baby/child it can be a teaching moment as they'll someday be a buying customer.

We once made reservations at a hotel unaware that it was pet friendly. As we got on the elevator there was a pool of pee. When we got off the elevator on our floor to go to our room the entire floor stunk. This was relatively new and nice (less than 5 year old) hotel. We immediately went back to the front desk and got a different room. They admitted they occasionally have problems with animals having accidents when they get excited in unknown areas. If I go into a store that allows pets and a pet has been placed in a cart and then I go to put my purchase items (towels, or clothes items in the cart), what all gets transferred? There are the concerns over health and safety- fleas, worms, etc. We'd all like to think everyone takes care of their pets, but that's not the world we live in. Like someone once said, it's the age of entitlement for people who think they can do what they want without regard for others. Where do we draw the line on what is a pet and where it can be taken? If I were to have a pet snake or skunk or rat, are we opening the door to those also being allowed in stores. Once that line is crossed get ready.

We once had someone living on a piece of our property with pit bulls. He assured us they were kind and gentle; nevertheless we insisted they be on a chain and in a fenced area. Those kind gentle pit bulls managed to get out of their fenced area and ripped up the face and ripped the ear off a couple calves in the area.

From the cdc.gov "Some people are more likely than others to get diseases from dogs. A person's age and health status may affect his or her immune system, increasing the chances of getting sick."

I understand the need for service dogs. But they have been specially trained.

I do have cats that are kept in an outdoor shed, provided with a heating mat, pet igloo, automatic feeder and water. I check them multiple times a day. We've had a dog in the past so I'm not totally against pets. I just don't think they belong indoors in public places. If you like them in your home that's fine. All of my siblings and my parents have dogs. Like I said, I'm probably in the minority.


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running, we posted at the same time-you said it better than I, and I really understand what you are saying, and that is exactly how my parents fee.. I don't like dogs doing that to me either.

I like dogs, but I don't love them. It took a lot for us to get a cat, but, my DS wanted one SO bad!


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and you too, hilltop...


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I don't think the issue is dog-lover vs. non-dog-lover. The issue is tolerance. Hell, I hate and am made uncomfortable by all kinds of things, more as I get older. But I remind myself constantly that I'm not any more special than anyone else. I hate guns, I'm uncomfortable around "gangsta kind of people" with their butts hanging out of their pants; smelly people annoy the hell out of me; loudmouth people can send my bloodpressure soaring... well, I'm sure you get the picture. But I don't think the average person would ever know this when they're with me. If I'm in a park or at a farmer's market or at a store, or ANYWHERE besides my own home, I just go about my own business. And if that means moving along to another business, because I'm annoyed, then okay, I'll move along. I wouldn't dream of saying something rude like the grumpy old man said (who btw annoys me too!).


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I don't think the issue is dog-lover vs. non-dog-lover. The issue is tolerance. Hell, I hate and am made uncomfortable by all kinds of things, more as I get older. But I remind myself constantly that I'm not any more special than anyone else. I hate guns, I'm uncomfortable around "gangsta kind of people" with their butts hanging out of their pants; smelly people annoy the hell out of me; loudmouth people can send my bloodpressure soaring... well, I'm sure you get the picture. But I don't think the average person would ever know this when they're with me. If I'm in a park or at a farmer's market or at a store, or ANYWHERE besides my own home, I just go about my own business. And if that means moving along to another business, because I'm annoyed, then okay, I'll move along. I wouldn't dream of saying something rude like the grumpy old man said (who btw annoys me too!).


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Count me among the people who really dislike dogs and will go to great lengths to avoid them. I won't shop in stores that allow them or stay in hotels that are "pet friendly." Not much would really rankle me more than paying good money to stay overnight in a hotel and be awakened by a dog barking at the room service noises in the hall, etc. I have that every single morning at home when the neighbors' dogs bark to be let back in their house. Grrr.

I had the exact same thought as that grumpy old man last week as I went into a small locally owned gift store. A man was walking around inside with his dog on a leash. "Why would anyone think everyone wants to experience their dog? What if every dog owner took their dog everywhere? Most dog owners probably love their dogs as much as that guy, yet he has the ??? audacity? arrogance? cluelessness? to foist his off on us all."

If I am in a public place and a dog approaches me, even on the end of a leash, I, in my firmest grumpy old woman voice say, "NO." The owner usually gets it, but they really think that I am the problem.


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In Europe you find dogs in restaurants quietly sitting under their owners chair. No one seems to mind.
Frankly as to dogs on a leash in a store being dirty, likely not as dirty as a drooling, snotty nosed, poopy pants toddler running around touching everything....And I sure have known children with fleas and worms.
And as for allergies, I am allergic to cats....but find that over doses of perfume is something I encounter much more often in stores than cat hair

To the OP...you should not have empowered the rudeness by pretending you didn't hear....you should have turned and asked the man..."Really?? Tell me why you feel that way?". Then whatever his objection you could have pointed out that it was unfounded.


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I understand about not liking dogs in public. Obviously I'm a dog lover, but I too dislike dogs in any place where food is sold (like the dog in Costco the other day), but this is NOT about dogs, it's about people who are just flat out rude.

Like Bestyears, I would never publicly or audibly criticize another person, a stranger, for something I don't like. And to me, it wasn't the subject matter, it was his tone and the fact that I KNOW he wouldn't have said it to a man. He was just flat out a bully.

The other guy who made a comment in passing also had a very condescending tone when I happened to run into him in another aisle and I muttered to myself about the product I was looking for. He commented-called it a different name, in a tone implying I didn't know what I was talking about-and continued commenting as I walked past. I can't describe the scenario in a few words, but it was just all very distasteful and rude. That is what I'm getting at...and particularly the way men, older men, tend to treat women.


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I think I get your point Pesky; rude is unkind, imo .
and I hate that grumpy old men allow themselves to be unkind, to be
hurtful, they can have valid points (i.e. not wanting to have dogs in stores) but there's no need to make another human being feel bad because you feel like mouthing off.

My dad ( 85) can be be pretty blunt with my mom at times, and I call him on it when it's done in my presence.


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People are rude. I bring my kids everywhere, and we get a LOT of comments. 99% of them are not nice. Not about their behavior (if they aren't behaving right, we usually leave) but about the fact that they are all girls. We get:

"Your poor dad."
"Wait until they're teenagers!"
"Where's the boy?"

Blah, blah, blah.


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I don't think there is a need to look at it from either perspective of liking or disliking animals. This is entirely a behavioral issue on their part and complete disrespect for another human being. Who cares if they liked the dogs being there, it was rude for them to say something like that; especially since she wasn't doing anything against store policy and her dogs weren't threatening to other shoppers. I agree it happened because they obviously feel superior to women. Do you think for one moment that either one of them would have made a peep if it were a man walking by with his dog? That's why I don't see a problem with speaking up, it's something that would certainly catch them off guard and hopefully make them think twice before doing it again.


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Hahahah. Grumpy old men! I was at the supermarket this weekend. I had a problem that required me to visit the customer service counter. Only one person was on duty and there was a long wait. Just as I reached the service counter to get help with my question a 70-ish year old man (energetic, nicely dressed, well groomed) came up beside me and waved a newspaper at the clerk. "Can I leave this here? I just want the paper." He waved a dollar around and then showed her the paper figuring that was all he needed to do. The clerk said, "I'm sorry sir, you can't just leave money. I need to scan that." The man looked at me like "mind if I cut in line?" There was another person behind me. I'd already waited a while to ask my question and didn't see why he shouldn't do the same. I said "There's a line." He said "It will only take a second." Well, my question was only going to take a second too but I'd waited like a good citizen and his assumption that his purchase was more important than my question irked me. There was also this assumption that his time was more important than mine. "There's a line," I said again, smiling but full of steel. He got all huffy and smacked the paper on the counter. "If I were you I'd let me do it." "There's a line," I repeated. "I need to scan the paper Sir," the clerk said again. Well, he got really peeved and stalked off but this guys attitude irked me. I do let people go before me in line if they have only 1 or 2 things and I'm not in a hurry. This wasn't one of those days. Anyhow, the clerk and I looked at each other and exchanged some good ole' eyeball rolling. Grumpy (and impatient!) old guy. Some people are so rude but I think "well, they must be miserable," and usually just feel a little pity. It's bad enough to run up against them in real life, it must be horrible to BE them.


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Yep! People are rude. Don't let it get to you. It's them, not you.

About shopping with dogs....what type of store was it that allows dogs? Around here, the only stores that allow dogs are pet stores.

ML. (Dog owner who is not a fan of dogs in stores, or at outdoor art festivals)


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I agree with Lukki. The issue here is not if you like or dislike dogs - it's the RUDENESS that was shown. The same comments could be made about kids, etc.

Here, dogs are allowed in Home Depot and Lowes, along with pet stores.

tina


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People can be rude and there's nothing you can do about it. I probably would have been tongue tied if that happened to me.

Years ago, dh and I went to dinner, along with his father. We were sitting at our table and two young men were at the table next to us. I wasn't paying attention to the men, but suddenly my FIL got up and ripped them a new one.

Apparently the guys were dropping the F bomb over and over and my FIL said, "Do NOT talk like that in front of a lady!"

I wanted to crawl in a hole. But they stopped! lol


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It was rude. Very rude. I'm caught off guard by things like this and say nothing... well, maybe mumble "what an a$$hole." What I'd give to be able to rattle off a good one liner sometimes!

My grumpy old man story (DD2's actually) - a few months ago, she was leaving the grocery store, almost 1yo in her arm and store manager assisting her with groceries. They were IN the crosswalk and an old man with window rolled down, slows down and screams at her "GET A JOB!! YOU SHOULD BE WORKING!"

DD2 turns to the manager and said "do you know him?" He said "no, I thought he was talking to you." She said, "then I guess he was talking to me!" She had JUST worked 10am to 6pm at her full-time job.

It was about 7pm on a Friday night. She said if she didn't work, wouldn't she have gone to the grocery store w/baby earlier in the day. And if she was a bad parent, wouldn't she be at home, getting ready to out on a Friday night instead of grocery shopping?

She told me, "I guess he thought I was a Teen Mom." She's a 24yo single (divorced) mom - and a very good one.

Maybe he thought she was paying with a food stamp card since she paid with her debit card.

It was a minor incident, but one that left a bad taste and it did hurt her feelings.


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Something like 'you're a very rude man' or 'that was a very rude comment' would have been enough. I'm 'known' for having a 'big mouth' and saying what *I* think at almost any given moment, and this is one of those times I couldn't have held back. An even nastier comment that could just slip out of my mouth~'do the words f*** you mean anything?', but that just ain't very ladylike now, is it? ;o)


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I'm one who can always come up with a clever remark ... about 15 minutes after it's needed. That said, I do think that any response you would have made to this man would be empowering him by giving him the credibility of even being heard. I tend to think that a brief exchange with a rude person isn't going to change them, and is likely only to escalate into a public spectacle, or even if only a few words are spoken, such a thing can cause everyone involved to come away feeling poorly about what went down. The negativity is only increased. I think it really is best if we can simply hold our own heads high and not let rude, cutting remarks made by ignorant/unhappy people have an affect on us. I know that's so much easier said than done, though.


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Last month I went through the express security check line at SFO carrying my 12 week old kitten. A woman in the next line made a sarcastic comment that maybe she should travel with her pets so she could get priority check in. I just couldn't help myself. I stopped. Turned around. Waved my boarding pass at her and said with a smile "Actually, all you need is a first class boarding pass." I think she will think twice the next time she makes a rude comment which is meant to be overheard. And, if not, it made me feel good.


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marlene_2007 Wow, good response.

My little calico read it too and said "Meow, Meow, Meow," which translated means: Do NOT mess with a lady holding a cat. Ever!


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I probably would have said something to the effect of "If you need to speak to the manager; the courtesy counter is this way" & I might also add that if it's a larger chain; they can follow up with a complaint to the management office or board of directors if there is one.

In addition; I'd also probably ask them why they do business in establishments that allow pets & they should walk out & never come back.

I know this is not about pets but about rude people; but I'm curious what stores allow pets other then Pet Smart.


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"My little calico read it too and said "Meow, Meow, Meow," which translated means: Do NOT mess with a lady holding a cat. Ever!"

Judithn,

It was kind of "catty" of me. :-)


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Ladies, memorize this - the correct response for all occasions of rude remarks: you look them in the eye and say: "Excuse me?"

It's a universal response, works in other languages as well. I first learned it from a woman while living in a Spanish speaking country: "Que?"


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And conversely - Never wrestle with a pig. The pig likes it, and you only wind up getting dirty.


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"Ladies, memorize this - the correct response for all occasions of rude remarks: you look them in the eye and say: "Excuse me?" "

I guess I'm no lady, because that's not the response that came to my mind. :)

As to the OP's situation, I'm having great difficulty imagining a case in which the presence of a dog in a store would bother me. But then, I'm no germophobe.

Re: rude situations. Here's one, and I may have related it some time in the past. Waiting in line at book store, and the line was long. I was third in line. Person at checkout is done, but she and the guy behind the counter are yakking...and yakking...and yakking. The minutes go by - or so it seems; the line lengthens. We're all shuffling our feet and doing that ahem-thing louder & louder. I finally say something, probably to the effect of, "Do you mind? People have been waiting." The customer yakker turns around and, rather than apologize, says to us, "Oh, we were just chatting." The checkout yakker says...nothing at all.


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Lindac beat me to it about some children.

Pesky - Is it possible they didn't realize dogs could be there? Either way, that was uncalled for.

Allison - Geez!

Graywings - I do need to remember that. I bet you get some panicked looks.

Here's one of my rude stories.
Years back I worked in a restaurant while going to school. One night an old man ate all of his food and then decided to complain how 'deplorable' it was. I was hostess that night and was allowed to give him a discount but not free since he ate it all. I was apologetic and did as I was told since it wasn't my call. I personally think he just wanted a free meal. I checked him out and went about my business. On my way across the restaurant he stopped me in the middle, physically grabbed a hold of my arm, got IN my face, and started to go on about how he doesn't think I took him serious. I was about 19 at the time and looked even younger. I wonder if he would've done the same thing to someone else. Anyhow, I jerked away, looked him straight in the face and very sternly told him do not touch me again. I don't really remember what happened after that. I believe I went to the back and ranted and raved while my boss took care of it. I can tell you I wouldn't take that well if someone did that to me today.


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other than pet stores, for the most part pets are not allowed in stores where i live...

however, we raise guide dogs and when we first started i was initially concerned with how people in general would react to our dog/s being in places where they generally are not allowed, but have been very pleased with the public acceptance of them! even though as puppies they are not covered under the ada, almost all businesses and customers in the businesses have all been very welcoming... maybe it's the vest or maybe i'm just oblivious of those who are rude...

there are rude people everywhere- i really try to ignore them...they're generally not very happy people.


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I'm not trying to play devil's advocate, but do keep in mind that some of the rudeness could very well be a result of mental illness. I can think of no other explanation for the "grumpy old man" who yelled at Allison and her DD, because "normal" mentally balanced people simply don't do such things. You never win by engaging with someone like that. Best to pity them for their obvious disability.


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Isn't it sad that those of us who go out of our way to be nice and pleasant, no matter what is going on in our personal lives, have to deal with cr@p like this?

I have encountered A LOT of rudeness lately. Even on this forum. But mostly in reference to my 3 year old son, who has tantrums for no reason.

Personally, I do not care for animals in stores, but I would never loudly object. I am a dog owner, I don't dislike animals. Honestly Pesky, that man was a coward and probably pretty miserable. I find the rudest people are usually most miserable in their own lives, so they feel the need to spread their misery.

Anele- I have 3 children. My 3 year old (youngest) is a boy and I keep his hair cut longer because it curls at the bottom. I think it's cute. Here are the remarks I get: Wow 3 girls- poor Daddy. I respond- no he's a boy. Then why is his hair like that? You should cut it. My response- "Really, is that so?" Once my 8 year old said very loudly- Wow, people can be very rude. I wanted to high five her- instead I just chuckled. I get these remarks so often- and it really irks me, but I've become accustomed to it. I mostly try not to make eye contact with people when I'm out with him, it never ends well.

I do find for the most part, that when I am shopping or out doing errands, if I do it with a smile, people smile back at me. Being kind can be contagious and it makes you feel good. I try to let the rudeness that seems to be overtaking our society roll off my shoulder, otherwise it will just eat at my insides.


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I first read this post yesterday before I made a quick trip to the grocery store (well, it always starts out as a "quick" trip, doesn't it!).

The closest grocery near me has one of the handheld self-scanner gizmos that you can pick up near the entrance where the carts are, and you scan your items' barcodes as you go up and down the aisles and put your items into the bags you either brought in yourself or picked up with the self-scanner gizmo.

So I used that yesterday -- it makes things go faster for me, and I can see how much I'm spending as I go along (also, sometimes we get extra gas-station points with a $50 purchase, so there are times that I don't want or need to go over that amount, and the handheld scanner helps me keep track).

So ... when I got to the checkout lanes, there were about 3 regular ones open. I had 2 bags full, plus paper products, so I got in one of the full-service lanes. A store employee who is routinely assigned to stand near the lanes to direct traffic told me to go to the express lane. The store wasn't crowded, but they like to make things move along.

Standing there, I realized that a couple came up behind me. I only heard him say something like "Yes, this is the express lane, 15 items or less," and then I couldn't hear the rest. I turned around and smiled -- I wasn't really sure if he was referring to me, then I noticed that his wife was in a wheelchair and wearing dark glasses, so perhaps she was blind and wanted to make sure the husband had chosen the fastest lane?

I decided to just jokingly say something like "Oh, I hope you don't think I'm jumping the line -- the store worker told me to come here because I have the self-scanner." He was nice -- said he's been in the same situation, and then I asked if he wanted to get in front of me; he declined.

My checkout took about 3 minutes, and he joked that "that sure took a long time, huh!"

I just thought it was a good idea to defuse what could've been a rude situation, but my tactic might not have worked with somebody else.

(I won't comment what my first thought of a tactic was against a driver who beeped at me as I crossed from my parked car to the drugstore. As if I wasn't walking fast enough for her?)


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I can relate to your comment about your son with longish hair, polly. One of my daughters has tattoos (she's 29) and people are so rude about it. Whether you like tattoos or not, it's none of your business.
This same daughter was born with very long black hair that stuck up (it changed to strawberry blonde) and you wouldn't believe the comments I got about that.

Also, once I was out shopping with her and her cousin when they were little. Someone commented, oh look, one's her own and one's adopted. Um, no... my sister's husband's chinese-american.


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I don't get being rude to people either. Like pesky said, no matter what my mood I'm not going to take it out on a stranger.

Pammyfay, that was better than getting almost run over or hit.

Same DD ran in Wal-Mart to get milk and a few Earth's Bests snacks for 1yo (who was spending the night with me). She only had two bags, so carried them towards car (no cart). She was in the crosswalk and saw a van in lane, heard it "vroom" and saw it coming towards her. She was almost in the far lane of the crosswalk and had to step/jump back. She actually said outloud "WTF!" and said the lady just looked at her and kind of did a wave/shrug thing. Not an "OMG I almost hit that poor girl!" or "I am so sorry!"

DD2 said she is never going back to WM again, as this is the second time she's almost been hit in the crosswalk. The first time she had a cart and let it hit the side of the car (young lady/girl driving).

Rudeness comes in all forms - new house going up down the street. They are suppose to keep the road clean of mud and gravel. Not once have they cleaned the street. Builder even lives in the neighborhood.


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As mom of four closely spaced kids, I've gotten my share of rude comments. The remark above about poor dad having three girls reminded me of one particular conversation I had at the store in line one day. At the time, I had my two boys with me and I was pregnant with #4. This young guy struck up a conversation with me, asking me when I was due, etc. He then said, looking at my two boys, "I bet you're hoping for a girl this time." I said something along the lines of "Actually, my oldest is a girl but we would be blessed with whatever we have." He then had this shocked look on his face, and made some comment about why would we ever want four kids, muttering something about birth control, etc. I couldn't believe how quickly the nice conversation turned sour. I was so flabbergasted, I couldn't think of a smart aleck response. And what really amazes me is how often people make comments like this in front of kids as if they can't hear or don't understand.


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I'd get the "don't you know about birth control" looks when I was out with my three. We married and two years later I started having babies - at 23, 25 and 27. When I wasn't having another one at 29yo we got a puppy. Several months later, I adopted two kittens. My mom told me I needed to control my desire to mother. ;D


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Oh yea, I'm at the opposite end of that one - we used to get "when are you having kids" or later "why don't you have kids". Like it's anyone's business????? There was one particular relative on my husband's side that I finally just started avoiding because I got tired of hearing it. I would never ask anyone something like that!


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Tina, one of my best friends heard that one a lot, all while going through infertility. My heart broke for her every time someone would ask. She is now a happy mom to a little boy but due to a health condition she can't have anymore. Now people ask her when the next one is coming. Ugh. If they only knew. I don't know how she handles it with so much grace.


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I think sometimes people don't realize that while they are trying to make conversation or be well-intentioned, not knowing someone else's circumstances can make the questions and comments hard to bear. With so many people experiencing infertility, asking any kind of questions or making any kind of comments about children is difficult. Believe it or not, despite having four kids, I spent the first 2.5 years of our marriage trying to get pregnant, and then lost my first baby to miscarriage before going on to have four healthy children. I had to deal with some insensitive questions during that time.

Two of my neighbors used donor eggs to have their children, so biologically, they are not their mothers. One of my neighbors has no idea that I even know this (my other neighbor had too much to drink one night and let it slip when referring to her own experience w/donor eggs). I realized that I had made some comments about the other neighbor's kids looking so much like her husband and where did they get the blue eyes (both she and her husband have brown), etc. In hindsight, I wondered if these questions might have upset her unknowingly. Now I keep my mouth shut about things like that especially when I don't know if the couple has inexperienced infertility problems (in my neighbor's case, I knew they did as she was public about it but I just assumed she conceived with IVF using her egg and his sperm).

One of the rudest things I ever heard someone say was from one of my father's mean old aunts. My brother happened to get his girlfriend pregnant when they were both in their mid-20s. His girlfriend (now wife of 20 years) is black. This b*tchy aunt said to my mom, "What, he couldn't find a white girl to get pregnant?" My mom was aghast. And to make matters worse, my *sister* who my parents adopted as a baby, is BLACK! I'm surprised she managed to keep comments about my sister's race to herself all those years as she had never made any racial comments before to my parents. My mom didn't give her the pleasure of responding to her hateful comment.


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You know, I have been on this site and mentioned people I admired, ie Sarah Palin. I was treated like scum. Is this the kind of rude behavior you're talking about? Some of the offenders are on this thread.


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I'm SSSOOOOOO glad people bring Dogs into our store!!!
I've had Callie in many times. People usually gush over her!

There's a bank in town that has a young Lab as kind of a mascot! She LOVES to play with a ball if customers throw it to her. It's the owners' dog of course!

Faron


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Good morning, magglepuss. You just made your own point, and very well.


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Faron, what kind of store do you have?


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Shermann ??


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I think Sherrmann feels that it's rude in itself to call others "offenders" and accuse them of treating you like "scum" because they have a vehement dislike for a certain person that she admires. Correct, Sherrmann?


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No, Magglepuss, I don't think it is the same.

In posting here, you were in a conversation that apparently became heated. In the OP's situation, the OP had seemingly done nothing to provoke the remark.

Of course, everyone should be civil to one another all the time, but my point is that the two situations are different. It doesn't make it OK to insult you for stating an opinion, but it's less of a surprise to get an unpleasant response when talking about anything remotely political. It's not right, it just is.


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Regarding "rudeness" on open, public forums, in my experience some people confuse rudeness with expressing strongly held opinions that differ from their own strongly held opinions.

sandyponder


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Magglepuss, I'm a regular and didn't recall the thread you're referencing and I tried doing a search to reference what you are talking about, but couldn't find anything either. I'm not saying it didn't happen, just wondering when this happened? In any case, I'm sorry you felt chastised for having an opinion but even still I think there is a HUGH difference regarding your experience vs the OP's.

For one, posting has almost become an art form because when someone posts, a lot of how that post is received is based on personal interpretation; when you have 1,000's of readers, someone is bound to be offended no matter what is said. The reader doesn't have the benefit of eye contact or hearing the tone of the posters voice but if they did, I believe most readers would have a completely different take on what's being said.

I also think that discussing political issues in general (as well as religion) does bring out the worst in people. A lot of folks get very passionate about their believes and unfortunately, rudeness is just part of that arena. It may not be right but it is a pretty consistent occurrence which is why a lot of people (myself included) never get involved in conversation about either subject.

On the other hand, I don't think there is ANY excuse for someone to verbally attack another when they're in a public setting and minding their own business. IMHO, THAT is the opidemy of rude.


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lukkiirish, your not going to find the thread. It was pulled. But it was what happened the next day on this forum. Let me explain. The subject of the thread was the republican primaries, and who do you want to see win. I was on topic, and polite. After writing that I was voting for Newt, but wished Sarah Palin would have gotten in, I got a lot of rude comments. I was fine with that, it gave me an opportunity to refute their lies with facts. But, like I said, the thread was pulled.

The next day there were 3 different threads all started by the same people from the original thread. One was titled "Qwerty" Of course if you went to it, it was talking (mocking) what I had said about Newt/ Sarah. That thread was pulled so another was started. That one was pulled so another was started. In total 3 before the mods got them to knock it off.

Now, some of these same people are on here complaining about rude people? LOL

Ps. I don't think for ANY reason people should be rude. I don't care if it is about politics.


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Maggle, I don't recall those posts; as I said, I don't talk about my personal believes regarding those two topics and so I would have by passed those threads. While you surely won't agree (which is fine), I'm of the opinion that those two topics almost always create some heated discussions and anyone (including you) who participates in them is doing so with that understanding. If you've ever visited the Hot Topics forum, then you obviously know exactly what I'm talking about. Like they say, if you can't handle the heat in the kitchen....

While it's true that there is no real "correct" time to be rude, I still believe that there is a difference between what you experienced, topic history and media used to discuss it in vs. attacking someone in person on the street WITHOUT confrontation. IMPO, there is no comparison between the two.


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Ok Sunny, I get it now.

And I vaguely remember a very rude thread started by Shermann about me, and it had nothing to do about opinions. In any case none of it has anything to do with the OP.

Pesky, I hope you are feeling a bit better. SOmetimes just venting a bit is all it takes. Just take the rudeness from whom it comes. Like I said, misery breeds misery and vice versa, kindness breeds kindness.


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*Like I said, misery breeds misery and vice versa, kindness breeds kindness.*

Yep. I had a discussion yesterday with dh about adult bullies. He basically said the same thing, and stressed to me, "IGNORE."

Luk, I see no difference between being the victim of intent rudeness on a message board rather than in person. I agree about politics being a hot topic, but rudeness can overtake any topic. People hide behind their screen names and forget there are real people with feelings they're talking down to.


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Thanks Oakleyok. I agree with you about rudeness on the net or in person, same thing.

As for politics, why do we allow rudeness? Seriously?

I know we might see people on tee vee talking crazy and rude, but that certainly doesn't mean we should do the same thing does it? Why do so many people let it go?


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Re the question about politics, I think one factor is that people have varying opinions about what constitutes rudeness. I have a relative that forwards "in your face" mass-distributed emails about Obama that are poorly constructed and full of half-truths and outright lies. He especially targets those whom he knows will disagree. My mind boggles at a person who would do such a thing. His viewpoint is that significant to him that he would willfully choose to offend and alienate his own family members? He apparently doesn't feel his behavior is rude. He seems to feel it's his "duty" to "inform" and direct others on what to believe and how to think. But is he rude? To my mind, he's among the very worst of the worst.

"A mistake made by many people with great convictions is that they will let nothing stand in the way of their views, not even kindness." ~Bryant H. McGill


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Sunny, my sister is not talking to me right now because for the very same reason. She does not think it is OK to have different opinions. It is personal with her. She gets mean and yells. She doesn't listen and makes statements that aren't even true (My "DH is a coward who fled to Canada during the Viet Nam war, verses getting drafted).

DH did no such thing but she spews crazy things like this in her anger, without regard to truth. I can see that she is very very fearful of Obama serving another term. She believes he is Muslim and is totally out to screw America. Sigh. She gets mad and calls me toxic. The thing is, I never get mad back.


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I posted this link on my FB exactly for the reasons described here.... politics is no excuse to be mean or rude.

Here is a link that might be useful: To Everyone I Know


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Bestyears ... THANK YOU!

That was beautifully put, and I have passed it on to someone who needs to read it.


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I agree it is not nice to be rude on or off the net. However, I am amazed at how seriously some people take a public message board and things said. I also agree that sometimes a differing opinion is taken as "rude" or "unkind". I think we sometimes "speak" too strongly here and it is sometimes hard to make your thoughts/emotions come across when we are not face-to-face. I know there are some here who are very sensitive and seem to always take a differing opinion as a slam toward them personally. I do not understand that. Maybe I like chocolate but not vanilla and you like vanilla but not chocolate. What's wrong with that? What's wrong with stating your opinon? Why would someone take that personally?

But yes, I have learned that there are some posters I cannot interact with and just leave them be.

I do remember vaguely the Sarah Palin thread(s). Cannot remember if I responded or who started them, etc. Then again, many threads go off the deep end on this board.

tina


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Oak, I did not say it's right to be rude on a message board just because the topis is politics. What I AM saying is that politics (and religion) are just two topics that traditionally bring out the worst in people. They get very passionate about their beliefs and rudeness is pretty much part of the scenario as a result. It isn't right but it's definitely true.

Like Goldie, I too have a sister who's political views are very opposite than mine and she's very vocal about it. I see them as hateful, she sees them as correct and would never allow anyone to say otherwise. I respect her right to her opinion, and get annoyed that no one else's opinions matter. I've never shared my political views with her or anyone because I see it brings out the worst in people and I choose not to participate. It's a choice. So right or wrong, when someone chooses to converse about subjects they know bring out the worst in people, they unfortunately need to be able to accept the consequences (or at least learn how to avoid taking it personal).

Again, as I explained earlier, I believe being able to write in a way that doesn't offend at least a few people in a forum these days is an art. I know there have been lots and lots of times where something is said, feelings have been hurt and as it turned out that was really not the intent of the original poster. I've been there and so have you; in the end it's all about interpretation and isn't it nice we're all getting better at it :c)

Again, I do see a difference between being in a heated conversation about politics (especially in a forum) vs. a public setting where you're minding your own business and it has nothing to do with being anonymous. I'd definitely be much more upset or offended had I experienced what Pesky did vs. Magglepuss. Sorry Maggle, no offense intended, it's just my opinion.


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argh!! I feel like a broken record today...hmmm, great idea for a halloween costume. :c)


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Pot meet Kettle.


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Pesky, you should have turned to your dog and said, loud enough for that guy to hear, "Why'd she bring her GD husband in here? Don't worry, I won't let it touch you."


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An honest to goodness, knock down, drag out, political tussle in person or on a message forum doesn't bother me in the least. Everyone participating is a grownup who knows exactly what s/he is doing--- even (or especially) the disingenuous who make "innocent" remarks about a public figure and then complain about being attacked, while at the same time purporting to be glad of the opportunity to refute the opposing side's "lies." Uh huh.

Far worse, IMO, are those who feel the need to correct others' grammar or spelling on a message board.


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"Pesky, you should have turned to your dog and said, loud enough for that guy to hear, "Why'd she bring her GD husband in here? Don't worry, I won't let it touch you."

Absolutely!! Well put!


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"- even (or especially) the disingenuous who make "innocent" remarks about a public figure and then complain about being attacked, while at the same time purporting to be glad of the opportunity to refute the opposing side's "lies"

"Far worse, IMO, are those who feel the need to correct others' grammar or spelling on a message board."

KSWL, will you be my new best friend :-)? You put into words everything I was thinking. I find the grammar and/or spelling police especially rude.


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Luk, thanks for explaining. I didn't see the offending topic about Palin, but Maggle said after the post was pulled, others started new topics on it doing deliberate topic headings just to hurt Maggle. And those were pulled also. It would hurt if that happened to me.

If you read this topic closely, you'll see pot shots are already being flung. Not by you though. We've all been having a nice discussion on this, then...a pot shot.

People defending themselves are always chastised, those making pot shots are not. I think that's a big part of the problem, whether it's politics or anything else.


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Sometimes we just have to take the higher road and let it go. Rebuttals may indeed be justified, but to what end?
I love a witty retort, but also am one who never thinks of it until too late. Then that alone annoys me!

Not engaging rude people is my general approach as anything I say generally is not going to change their behavior or shame them and it gets me all riled up and irksome.


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reacting to rudeness with rudeness is pointless, imo.
stooping down to someone's level doesn't ever make me feel any better either........esp in the long run. (unless it's a child, of course! :)


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We've all been having a nice discussion on this, then...a pot shot.

Well ... didn't you make one on the other side about a rooster? ;-)

None of us are above taking pot shots from time to time.


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Oakley, thank you so much for your comments. Especially thanks for acknowledging the main point about these people starting 3 different threads the next day, retyping my original comment. "I had hoped Sarah Palin would have gotten in the race." The comments to the posts were things like "boy, there must have been fireworks after that comment". That really is the main point. For whatever reason, that is not even brought up in these comments. I guess others must think this behavior is ok.


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Magglepuss - you say you posted your Republican primary/Sarah Palin comment "on this site." But did you post it on the Home Decorating Conversations forum - or somewhere else on Gardenweb?

It's odd that a post got that heated, was deleted, then then three more threads appeared and were deleted, and no one can else can recall this happening. I'm sure this occurred, but I'm wondering whether possibly it occurred on another forum.


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I remember seeing something about that.


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I think we need to remember that this is a forum of strangers. Yes, it sometimes feels like we know each other, but we really don't.
I would not take anything too persoanlly or too seriously from people that I really don't know.
I am not sure why anyone would want to be rude to anyone. But in cases of this forum, you can ignore it and the person would never even know that you saw it. Unlike in real life!


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Back to the dog in the store.If store policy allows pets, and if you want to bring Pup, then do it. And let Mr. grumpy guss say what he wants. Life is too short to let minor things like that bother you.

Marlene- absolutely love your response about the boarding pass!
Faron, we take Cooper and Bailey everywhere dogs are permitted, IF we think it will be a good experience for them. which narrows it down to pet friendly outdoor festivals which are unlikely to be very crowded.Many dog owners know very little about how dogs interact with each other so we avoid the pet store.
Faron, of course we will visit your store if the occasion arises! in our area dogs are not allowed in restaurants, but are allowed in outside areas.I believe the Black Dog Saloon downtown allows dogs inside- no food is served.
As for differing political opinions, many times how the opinion is expressed is what I find to be rude,not the opinion itself.


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Graywings The original thread was on the conversation side. The subject was the republican primaries. I posted that I was going to vote for Newt, but, I really wish SP had gotten in the race. Honestly, that was it. There were some snarky/rude comments to me about SP, and I did respond, but that was not the problem.


When I got up in the morning, the thread was pulled. I contacted the mods and asked them why? They alluded (sp) to the fact that someone had asked for it to be pulled. This was surprising to me, I don't see many threads pulled.

A few hours later another thread was started with the subject line Qwerty. The OP was one of those who had written snarky comments to me the night before. When I opened it, there were posts like IBITZ. Then someone re-typed my post from the night before. I posted an example of the responses above. By now it's clear I am being mocked, I contacted the mods and asked them to remove the thread, and they did.

Then a second post was started. Again with a strange subject line. I honestly can't give you specifics on the thread, but basically the same as the Qwerty thread. Again, the mods pulled it.

Then a 3rd thread was started. This is all within about 4-5 hours. This one was commenting that the poster (one of the same group of people) felt like Garden web was like communist China or Russia with no rights to free speech. It was pulled.

I hope that clear it up.


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2 nights ago, we ate at Lemongrass, a thai place in Boca; we were seated at the covered patio and 2 tables had their dog with them, and both had their dog sitting on a chair, in Europe the dogs sit at the feet of their owners, under the table. At first , they barked at each other but later on were quiet. I wasn't bothered by it , DH and I love dogs but I was surprised to see them seated and it reminded me of this thread.


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Thanks for the link, Bestyears. I've shared on FB. So far, I haven't deleted anyone, but two are on my maybe list. ;)


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Actually Sunny, I didn't. Interesting that you call out a very mild reply I made on another board, but say nothing about instigators in this topic. Why the free pass? Seems like some people are just fair game because they have absolutely no feelings at all.


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It's never okay to be rude but sometimes it's provoked. I don't remember the threads Magglepuss is referring to and we can only take her word for how it all went down since they were pulled. However, out of curiosity I did a google search of her screen name (sometimes even pulled threads will come up) and did not find the threads in question but did find her posting some pretty inflammatory stuff on other forums. I would even go so far as to say rude posts even.

I fear Magglepuss might be an agenda troll.


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Oak, Regardless of what's taking place here, you have to at least own up to your own faux paux's. You know that comment in the other topic wasn't called for and there were lots of other people with similar sentiments. You not only singled out one person but you addressed her by name in your reply. When I read it I remember thinking, wow, that was uncalled for. I know there is a history there, but your comment was unprovoked. If you're going to call fowl on others and expect them to own up, then you should live by your own principals.


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kellyeng

Man you got me. I love to decorate and I am a Conservative!

I must be a troll on this forum.


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Oakley, I'm so sorry these women have decided to come after you. They had no comments with your posts until you defended me. I am Conservative kryptonite.


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I'm not sure why anyone's political or religious views need to be brought up on the decorating forum. Liberal, conservative, whatever.
The results are always what is expected and contribute nothing to the discussion of decorating or even, here on the discussions side, to harmony among us.
We do have a hot topics forum for those who want to discuss such things and elsewhere on the internet, rabid conversations may be easily found. I say go there if anyone needs to wave their colors.
I will say, however, I am not a doormat and if need to, will certainly stand up for what I believe in here, but see no need to provoke or initiate such discussions in these forums.


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Well, magglepuss, you proved kellyeng right, you *are* an agenda troll, and your post proves it. Keep on posting, we'll keep calling you on it.

sandyponder


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Good heavens, Magglepuss!

Agenda troll indeed!


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magglepuss, please, you are making the rest of us Conservatives look bad! Let it rest!


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Magglepuss; how long ago was the post you're talking about?


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I remember the posts she references. She's not making any of that up. I do, however, feel that she's very likely got a skewed idea of what really transpired, given how she has popped up out of the blue and directed this thread in a completely unnecessary direction, and also stated, "I'm so sorry these women have decided to come after you" - when all that occurred was that an inconsistency was pointed out.

It's all a bit Drama Queen if you ask me.


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Huh? Sorry, but I got curious, so I googled "Magglepuss" myself. Let's just say that I find those views very, very...no, I'll refrain; let's just say totally off-base, but why "agenda troll"? I never saw the disussion here you're all referring to, but you said it was about politics. magglepuss had a right to express his/her views. Whether there was rudeness - I couldn't say. I do think if you're going to post online, giving all the world a chance to reply to you, you need a thick skin. I don't understand the agenda troll comment though.


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I have personally never seen Magglepuss' posts she is talking about, but if she is considered an Agenda Troll, there are posters on this board I see much more often than Magglepuss start those kinds of posts, and people just go along and never say anything about that person(s) being an Agenda Troll, but I sure see it.


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Luk, I was only replying to a very subtle (and constant) volley taken at me. And I'm in the wrong? Don't think so.

Although I certaintly don't understand why it's okay for people to call each other derogatory names here & never be called on it. Never did understand that.


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Oak, you know I like you and I have no interest in getting "on the wrong side" of you, but I do have to ask - who volleyed at you in the thread on "geese with bows"?


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Almost every single thing Oakleyok says gets insulted by another poster here in a somewhat subtle way. I'm surprised it's not more obvious to people.


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Oh, goodness. Maybe it's time for the proverbial group hug, and we just move on to discussing things that matter.

Like that hunky Felix Baumgartner. ;-)


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Personally, I'm still in love with Paul McCartney, but Felix is pretty cool.


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RE: Rude people

Oak, we can agree to disagree, no problem and really, I'm not trying to insult you, I'm just trying to make a point. The last few months, I haven't seen the "vollying" and arguments that used to take place all the time and it was really nice. There's nothing wrong with having different tastes and there's no need to take it personal when someone's taste is completely opposite of yours. And I do know from personal experience that sometimes you'll take something as a subtle dig that wasn't even said with you in thought. I just wish that we could learn to let the past be the past and move on beyond it. There is no benefit in holding a grudge (which you and I have talked about before) and continually keeping the rounds of digs going. After years of it, don't you think it's time that we all rise above it and try to get along better? Even if what you're saying is true, why not be the one to set the new example?

Magglepuss, I don't know if you're a troll or not and really don't care, however, I do think your choice of topic would be better received in the Hot Topics forum. You would probably even enjoy the engagement of conversation there a lot more because politics is that forums primary focus.


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RE: Rude people

...a place for everthing and verthing in its place....


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RE: Rude people

Allison, I can't believe what was said to your daughter. I think SC is right-- probably mental illness. Or ignorance, which is also an illness, right? :)

Polly, I love long hair on boys. My nephews (7 and 2) often have their hair long and it's so cute. I am glad you ignore the rude comments. I am the same about avoiding eye contact when out. I would rather not have a discussion w/anyone when I need to be watching my kids, and don't want to hear anything negative. Like fourkids said, don't people get that most children CAN hear???

RE: Sarah Palin . . .you know, I am a Democrat, but I would love to meet her. I watched her Alaska show a few times and I was impressed. I don't agree with her views at all and wouldn't want her in charge of things, but I think she would be fun to hang out with. I am amazed by some of the things she knows how to do, her self-discipline, etc.


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RE: Rude people

PS I also do not get why people try to insult Obama by calling him a Muslim. Even if he IS (which he clearly is not), so WHAT? I didn't know you had to be Christian to be president. I also didn't know that all Muslims were horrible, just like all Christians are not.


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RE: Rude people

Anele, you don't understand this because you are a normal person. The people calling Obama a Muslim are crazy people. Once they decide something in their minds, they are incapable of changing their opinion. Facts do not influence them. And for some of them, it's a racial thing, hiding as a religious issue.

At this point in our country, you don't have to be Christian to be President, but you have to be Christian to be elected President. Look at the suspicions some people have about the LDS church, even though it has the words J.C. in its name.


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I still want to know what kind of store Pesky took her dog to.....

ML. (graywings is correct, crazy people out there)


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RE: Rude people

Thank you, Anele! And yes ... what Graywings said is so very true. I truly try to separate my feelings for a person from their political/religious beliefs - but if someone starts in on the rabid "Oh, HORRORS -- Obama is a Muslim!" schtick, I can't help but categorize them as incredibly stupid/gullible and a whole host of other things that I probably shouldn't say here.


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RE: Rude people

Graywings and anele, I wholeheartedly agree with your posts. It seems to me that the behavior you describe is at the very least skating on the edge of bullying. We expect children to stand up to bullies, yet in adult life, we don't always. It wouldn't be okay for a group of children at school to say the things to another student that are routinely said about President Obama. Can you imagine a playground or classroom where people just ALLOWED another child to say, as if it were a terrible insult, "Miriam's a MUSLIM! She can't be Class President!!!" But in our adult world, we don't call it out in for bullying when it happens -we (and I include myself in this 'we'), ignore it, roll our eyes, etc. But we don't call it out as bullying. Isn't it though?


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Whew...what a boiling pot THIS turned in to!

The store was Home Depot...they allow (and encourage dogs by having dog treats on hand).

As to the whole political schtick...yes...those with VEHEMENT lie filled posts are nuts. My brother recently, purposely, posted some nasty comments on a FB post I put up. He then continued to spew lies straight out of the Rush Limbaugh Handbook (nearly verbatim, I might add). I tell you, he's nuts. He will not accept the truth if it bit him on the nose, prefers to continue to live in his fantasy world of hate radio. As I said, he's nuts.


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RE: Rude people

If it's NOT a pet store...it shouldn't have pets in it.


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Nicole, that's absurd. Have you *heard* of dogs for the handicapped, and their dog usually goes everywhere with them, even restaurants.

And speaking of restaurants, in France, as well as other countries, a dog is very acceptable in a restaurant, and not only for those with disabilities.


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RE: Rude people

I find people who spit far more disgusting than animals in home depot. There is one HD near me where men seem to store up huge lung full globs of slimy goo to splat out somewhere in my vicinity when exiting into the parking lot. They are oblivious that anyone else is around. Didn't their momma teach them not to spit? Anyway that's another topic, I love animals and my doctor even has a little yorkie in his office. He has a sign at the door that says dogs allowed but children must remain on a leash. Sorry but I love his sense of humor.


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My Mom told us the perfect line to use when someone says a rude thing to you. "DID YOU ENJOY SAYING THAT? BECAUSE I DIDN'T ENJOY HEARING IT" Say it loud she said and that makes the other party feel foolish.


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Ooooh, I completely agree with jterrilynn! What is it with men who feel the need to hork out nasty phlegm onto the pavement - in public, no less? I knew a guy years ago who, every single time he got out of his car, would do that throaty "khhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaa" thing and then spit. When he was finally called on it, he wasn't even aware that he was doing it! Can you imagine? Delving a bit deeper, he realized that it's something his father had done for years, and he was simply repeating the same behavior that he had witnessed from childhood. What a disgusting habit though. And there's no excuse for it!


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I know sunny...so gross! I almost gaged writing about it and almost gaged again reading your description lol. What makes these people think they can hurl body excrement in pubic? Sheesh, why not a bowel movement or public urination while they are at it. People can be far ickier than dogs. I stopped going to a popular restaurant for almost a year because there was a man sitting across the aisle from me that did not cover his mouth as he was coughing up a green slim lung and sneezing goobers all over everyone's food. I left my whole meal there. I would have been happier if a dog was sitting across from me.


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Hate it when men spit too, it is gross and I actually saw a woman doing it today, yuk! Another thing I really find repulsive is when men have no problem grabbing their crotch in public, ewe.


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At the top of gross things men do in public! I was walking out of the grocery store the other day, behind a young man, and he spat on the sidewalk. I almost walked in it and it nearly made me grab him by the ear and shout mannerly profundities at him.
What IS it with people?
So true Jerri!!


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RE: Rude people

I think spiting should be against the law. How do I know what people had in their mouth that day or what germs they may harbor? Some of the thick partials could get on my person. If they think they are going to die if they don't forcefully excrete the phlegm they should use a hanky or tissue.

Lukk, can you believe I have never seen a woman spit? That is past gross!

I guess this is a little off topic to the original but I did have a point and that is I would rather be around a fury (maybe a little dirty) canine than a discussing bad mannered human.


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Ohhhh GACK!! Spitting....shudder. I do not understand why males do that. Women just don't do it, so unless there is a biological issue that causes men to make more mucous than women, there is no reason for it.

I keep a tissue with me when I feel the urge to rid my nasal or throat passages, and I DISCRETELY use it. Only one time have I ever had to spit, and that was when I was in a forested area and I had no tissue with me. I was ALONE and I felt guilty and disgusted doing it, too!

My DH does it only occasionally, and I came unglued when I caught DS doing it recently. UGGGGHHHHH!!!!! Yes, I'd rather be kissed by a dog on my face than witness another man spit in public.


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Just checking in to say how much I love this group. This thread is proof that we do not need moderating. We are the epitome of moderates!


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I know!!! I could not believe it!! She was walking with another woman and she didn't even flinch when her friend did that, like it was normal. Crazy gross.


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RE: Rude people

I was wondering if the store was Home Depot or Lowes since both allow pets.

I was never a dog lover(nor was I a dog hater) until I ended up with a dog less then 2 years ago. Now I just love my dog very much and yes, I do take him to Home Depot and Lowes. He's weighs just 13 pounds and rides in the cart. I've never had anyone say anything rude, though.


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RE: Rude people

Happyladi, your little dog is probably much better behaved than a lot of children I've observed running like wild banshees through the aisles at Home Depot and Lowes.


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So true, Sunny. I wish I could take my dogs to Lowes, but one would lift his leg on everything and the other one would be so hyper excited with jumping, straining and panting that it wouldn't be the best for her heart.


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My dog is definitely better 'managed' than a lot of kids i've seen acting up! He may get a little busy trying to lick everyone, but at least I can keep him controlled on a leash.


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