Leafy, sorry you had such a difficult time. Next time you may want to try j crew. I bought my little man the sharpest suit there. We also bought sweaters and sweater vests there. I remember appropriate dresses as well.

This post was edited by iheartgiantschnauzer on Wed, Oct 16, 13 at 5:07

My boys are older now, but those "tween" years were challenging. Separates are a little easier to find than suits. I have found blazers at Penny's and Burlington.

It was always difficult to find 'decent' clothing for DD. She was an old soul and as early as 6th grade complained that the clothes in the junior department were 'slut wear.' She gravitated toward a more tailored look and ended up shopping Ralph Lauren, Jones NY, Talbot and Ann Taylor. Then we had to find clothes that weren't too 'old' - Initially This was more expensive but in the long run she was able to wear most of the clothes longer because they didn't go out of style at the end of the season and they were made better.

This may seem a little odd but for your 10 year old son you could try a store that specializes in uniforms for school children. You could call a local Catholic school or private school and ask where they source their uniforms. One school near me uses Burlington Coat Factory but their school pants are either navy or khaki. Sears may have them too.

No, you're not crazy, we went through this in the beginning of July for a funeral we had to attend.

My son is 14 and at that awkward growth stage, and being in the middle of a heat wave here in New England didn't help matters either!

I went to Kohl's, and found a pair of dress pants in the back to school section...they were either black, or navy blue. Then , I bought one of those dress shirts that are sold with a tie in the packaging. Needless to say, he never ended up wearing the dress shirt because it was just too hot! I ended up returning the shirt later...why keep it when he's just going to grow out of it in another few months? Lol...

Don't even get me started on the shoes for him! We could NOT find any dress shoes in the kid section, and the mens shoes were still too big, so he ended up with a pair of the plainest black skater sneakers we could find, I think they were Vans or some such brand. At least he can wear them as everyday shoes now.

All this to say that I understand completely what you went through. and I'm sorry for your loss, and the unneeded aggravation that you had to go through, just to outfit your kids.

My boys are 11, and we are in a smallish town. Dress shoes are impossible to find. Kohls, Penneys, and Payless. Absolute junk. It doesn't pay to spend much because by the time they need to wear them again, they will have outgrown them.

I hear you. Frustrating!

I'm not in your situation, but I applaud you for trying to get appropriate clothing for your kids for the event. Nowadays, I have seen people come to funerals in tops that are a sneeze away from a wardrobe malfunction and blue jeans....I guess I should be happy if they aren't ripped jeans or short shorts. Ties? They seem to be what old men like DH wear... Deck shoes and loafers are about as formal as footwear gets.

If I see a young person in khakis and blazer, I'm delighted with their formality.

And don't get me started on the colors you see at funerals and wakes. It can be quite stunning.

So if you're a crazy curmudgeon, you've got company in me.

I think the biggest problem is that there is not a real market for them so why would the stores carry these things. Many boys no longer even wear belts and it is already stated above, why pay a lot of money on shoes that are only going to be worn for one occasion before the kids outgrow them.

I have khakis and navy pants for my boys which will cover a multitude of scenarios and we have shoes that are dressier than sneakers but are not true dress shoes. I do get irritated around Christmas when all of the dresses are over the top froufrou to be one worn time and that is it. We are also having the difficult of tweens. My 15 year old is too skinny for men's pants (he has a 26 inch waist) but is getting too tall for the boys. My 12 year old daughter is thicker but still cannot wear a women's small but the girls clothes don't fit either. Right now I am just hoping that they both hurry and hit their final growth spurt so I can start investing in clothes (and shoes) that will last.

Okay, I feel better that I'm not the only one who's had this issue or who has observed that decent traditional clothing is hard to find on a moment's notice and without going all over town.

AnnieDeighnaugh, I know what you mean about the very informal stuff people will wear to funerals these days. At the last one, there were people there in SWEATS. With ball caps on. This was not the funeral of Duck Dynasty cast member, either. Suburban middle-manager who wore a shirt and tie to work every day for 40 years and spent the weekends in golf togs.

I know how you feel! Fortunately my kids don't need formal wear often, but I had the hardest time outfitting my son for the few Bar Mitzvahs he attended when he was 13. At the time, I was fortunate that I was able to find almost everything at Old Navy (online -- I just end up ordering a few sizes and then returning what doesn't fit to the store). I still get his black dress pants and white shirts for school band concerts at Old Navy. I'm not investing a lot of money in dress clothes until he stops growing! I think he's almost there, at age 18 and 6'2".

Now we're coming up against the same thing with DD, who is 12 and starting to get the Bat Mitzvah invites from classmates at school (we are not Jewish, but we seem to be invited to far more Jewish events than Christian events!). Fortunately, we knew about one that is coming up this weekend all the way back in the spring, so over the summer I bought her two dresses. Both are pretty blue lace dresses, one short sleeved and one 3/4 sleeved, just above knee length. We kept them both because we know she'll be invited to at least a few of these events. One dress was from Boden (kids) catalog and one was from Lands End, believe it or not. One problem we will have is that I think DD is going to top out at 5' tall and she's very slim, too, so she's going to wearing little-kid sizes for a long time yet.

I am so glad she's not into the trashy look. She mostly wears skinny jeans, t-shirts, and hoodies. I see what some tweens are wearing around town and cringe. Hello, aren't the mothers still in charge of what clothes girls can buy when they're 12? Okay, my rant is over.

My now 26 year old daughter had the same clothes problem in middle school, Sueb. She started wearing sleeveless sheath dresses and cardigans from Talbots in seventh grade. She would have liked something more youthful, but there was really nothing available between the preppy college look and the "slutty girl" clothes (her name for it, lol). We used to see young girls in church with skin tight, low cut dresses on that were actually difficult to kneel in at the communion rail. I always wondered when moms stopped giving that "your body is a temple of the Holy Ghost" talk to their daughters. I guess I am dating myself in a BIG way.

What's really interesting about all this slutty clothing is, they've done things on shows like "How do I look?" where they have the cardboard cutout of the gal in a skimpy dress and then ask random men to either add pieces on or not to the image to make it sexy. The men always lengthen the skirt and cover the cleavage...they want to be seen with a classy woman, not a slut. And they want their women to "save the best" for them...not share it with the world. I wish some of the brides today would realize that too.

Here is a link that might be useful: Pastor refuses to marry couple