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judiegal6

Birthday gift for terminaly ill~asap

judiegal6
10 years ago

I need some quick advise on what to bring to a birthday party for a 61 year old man, who wont lives more than a few more months.
It is a surprise "Birthday" party but we all know that is really a way to gather friends and relatives for a final get together, before he gets too sick to celebrate. He has esophageal cancer, can't eat much or drink alcohol. I'm good friends with his wife. The trouble is the party is in 1 hour! I don't even know what to say to him. I haven't seen him since the diagnosis. I have a card and could grab a gift card on the way, is that tacky and for what?
Is cash inappropriate? The party is at a hall and 150 guests are expected.

Comments (12)

  • graywings123
    10 years ago

    Cash is inappropriate.

  • jlj48
    10 years ago

    What does he like? sports? Movies? I'm thinking movie passes, tickets to a desired event, ice cream gift card. This one is tough because guys are hard to buy for anyway and your time is so limited. Perhaps just a nice card and give the gift later when you have more time to pick it out.

  • dedtired
    10 years ago

    Books on CDs. At the end, he may enjoy them, presuming he has something to play them on. Perhaps a card for itunes, again, if he knows how to use that. When my sister was dying of cancer, she listened to many audio books. So sorry for your friend.

  • gsciencechick
    10 years ago

    I would not take cash unless it was a benefit. Maybe a gift card for Amazon? You can download these online.

  • kswl2
    10 years ago

    I think sixty something people, dying or not, should not expect birthday presents from 150 people. It's grotesque. I would certainly not give him anything other than a nice card regardless of his state of health----unless he is a close relative.

  • neetsiepie
    10 years ago

    Just a card is more than sufficient. My father passed away 2 months after his 61st birthday from esophageal cancer also. EC causes people to pass very quickly, unfortunately.

    What to say to him-that you're thinking of him and hoping for good days. That you will be there for his wife and his family.

    So sorry to hear this-I've lost 3 people to EC-I hate it with a passion. It kills many so young.

  • judiegal6
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    Thanks for your suggestions. I decided to wait, I'll have lunch with my friend next week and think about it in the meantime. There ended up being a basket of cards on a table. I'm thinking on the line of movie tickets. It turned out to be a festive evening.

  • denali2007
    10 years ago

    I think that just a card would be in order. He may not feel well enough to attend a movie.

    My sister had esophageal cancer and has been in remission for 16 years. We are so grateful.

  • Cloud Swift
    10 years ago

    I think that just a card is fine unless you find there is something that would really make him more comfortable - e.g. a lap blanket or a scarf. Treatment rooms are often on the cool side, but he may already have what he needs for that given that he has been sick for a while.

    You might think about whether there is something for his wife since you are good friends with her. It is probably a pretty stressful time for her. E.g. certificate for a massage or some other form of pampering.

  • theroselvr
    10 years ago

    Wish I would have caught your post the other day. Being in a similar situation with my dad being terminal as well as my hub having a similar cancer my suggestion would have been a gasoline gift card if you felt like bringing something. Cancer eats up every dollar you have. You use a lot of gas; money for scripts; some places you have to pay to park.

    Back when my dad's cancer came back; his rescue squad friends had a lunch for him. He had retired a few years before his terminal diagnosis. He devoted his life to the rescue squad in the town our business was in; 30 minutes from home. The lunch was so that everyone could see him again to say good bye. It turned out that 2 of his friends passed away unexpectedly; one 2 weeks later; another 3 months later.

  • gsciencechick
    10 years ago

    Roselvr, that is a wonderful recommendation for gasoline gift cards. I will have to remember that.

  • theroselvr
    10 years ago

    Gas cards make a great gift. Also; if you know what pharmacy they use; a gift card for there too.