My 85 year old mother just sold her house and moved back "down into the city". Fortunately her sale went quite smoothly, after the first offer fell through. The problem as I see/saw it, is that it is important to remove the emotion from the equation and few it as an asset sale- kinda like selling stocks. Unfortunately that is easier said than done and there is often a lot of` second guessing afterwards - be aware of that..

I wish all of your friends, but particularly your father, peace during this process.

As an aside, my mother is living with me for 6 weeks until her apartment is ready and I am guiding her through that maze that results when one moves - changing bank account, dealing with phone, cable and hydro hook-ups, putting stuff in storage, finding new doctors, hairdressers, grocery stores...... AHHHH.

Pal,

If the present buyer is not to your Father's liking, perhaps another will come along who will love the home the way he does. I pray that it happens that way, I think it would make him happy.
I can see how he feels the way he does.

My father said the same thing about their lakehouse sold in February. Luckily, they did not ask for anything at the closing table. It is on our lake, and quite frankly, DH and I were tired of keeping it on our list of things to take care of. I hope his sell goes smoothly. Tell him inspections always have a long list of picky things - inspector wants buyer to feel like they got their monies worth!

I did tell my dad that there usually a laundry list of things so it appears the inspector did a thorough job. And many of the things were not related to poor maintenance, more to the fact that codes have changed in 45 years. But he takes things personally.

He's never negotiated for anything before though. He never bought a house. He's built three, but he hired builders, expected them to deliver (and they did) and he paid what they asked, without complaint. (and building is completely different from buying). He's never even negotiated for a car. He orders exactly what he wants and when it comes in he pays for it. His negotiations have been more along the lines of "yes or no" in nature...no bargaining. This is new territory for him at 90.

I feel that's the norm! We all love our house, flaws and all, and if someone else doesn't agree, it stuns our emotions . At that point , that person becomes the last person in the world we would want living or even owing-to-rent the house. Humor your Dad and clients by telling them, opinions are like A-holes, we all have one. lol It 's more important to keep the blood pressure level down and mumble under their breath those 'bad words' they may want to verbalize to a prospective buyer or others involved, such as inspector 'Clouseau'.

Several years ago when I was selling my home and the realtor made the comment it 'was dated' I was blown away. Even though I knew it, I was upset hearing someone else say it. ANY negative comment, no matter who it comes from, is a deal breaker.

The big things that I am worried about are termites, carbon monoxide, and some major systems flaw.

The thing is, my house, which was in relatively poor condition. had a litany of stuff that I could see (cracked windows, rotted sills etc.)

But the inspection totally missed the fact that the plumbing needed to be replaced (like 95%) and the electrical is actually dangerous and is going to be almost 100% replaced. But this is buried and it's not going to be picked up on an inspection.

He's never negotiated for anything before though.

That's why real estate agents are paid to earn their money. If the agent doesn't get that, get a new one. If there's still too much personality on the line, put a family member between the father and his commissioned agent who's supposed to be doing all the hard work!

That grumpiness said, I gotta admit if I ever have to sell my house my family will have to tie me up and send me off on a tour of Australia for a year.

Not a bad idea, actually...

90! oh my, blessings to your father. I also hope the sale of his beloved family home goes smoothly.

My parents built our home in 1955 and had to sell it after living there for 60 years because neither parent could negotiate the stairs. My Mom still refers to the new owners as 'the renters'.

We've been in our home now for 32 years and we're contemplating selling - it's just the 2 of us and we don't need 5 BR, 4 baths and all the yard work. (Maybe Kevin and his fiance would like ours - we're just across the river from Philly, in an historic town with Blue Ribbon schools.)

It's difficult to sell the home you've loved for so many years - I really do feel for your father.

I actually am the one who is working more closely with the agent.

But he lives in the house and I don't, so he was there when the inspector did the inspection, and took a dislike to him for a couple of reasons.

And he was there when the realtor dropped off the inspection report and started to go through it with him. He was obviously getting so angry that the agent stopped and they agreed she would talk to me.

I think the process is actually going pretty smoothly but he took the inspection as a criticism of the condition of the house and of his maintenance of the house. And since he's very attached to it emotionally, he's having a difficult time with it all. He had planned on dying there -- he said as much when he moved in, not just recently--and this goes against the plan.

Pal, but don't you need to declare any underlying problems, even though they may not be found during an inspection? I don 'to see much difference between being made aware of a suicide or a broken pipe under cement, but maybe it varies from state to state??

In the house I bought? I doubt the owner knew of any problems and you can't see most of the plumbing or electrical in the house, since it's concealed. The problems first came to light during renovations.

The only thing that was done wrong (and plenty of people do it) is that the previous owner did everything on the super cheap and I doubt there was ever a permit pulled for a thing. But the inspector can't see through drywall.

As for my client who's selling to rent, it's probably pretty depressing to think that the burnt out shell to be sold across the street has the same approximate market value of his own housethat he may still have to put money into to sell.

When we purchased our home, the owner insisted on "interviewing" us before he would consider our offer. Luckily he must have liked what he saw/heard, as he accepted our offer!

I'm always amazed at how much emotional investment owners have in their house. I think it's wonderful, but at the same time troublesome when trying to buy from that type of owner. Kudos to you, Palimpsest, for helping your father through the process. I absolutely dread the moment when my parents decide to sell their house.

My in-laws sold their house 2 years ago to downsize. My FIL told me he -literally- will go out of his way to not even drive past the old house. It is hard to detach from the identity of the house.

When our kids were getting ready to go off to college, a friend who already had gone through this told us that the kids will start to be mean and hateful toward you during the senior year/summer before they leave. It's their emotional way of detaching. I think your father is doing this towards the new homeowners. The psyche protecting itself, so to speak.

Buyers are different these days and have HIGH expectations. I realize buyers are spending alot of $$,but I guess I blame it on HGTV! Did you expect a dream kitchen in your first house??I handled the sale of my dad's house a few years ago and it was challenging to say the least. Try not to deal personally with the buyers, inspectors etc--that's why you are paying the realtor. Explain to your dad that inspector's will ask for everything and then you negotiate what you will fix, change etc. Best of luck.

I think sometimes the inspections give the buyers the sense that they can hold some leverage over the seller after the 'deal' has been made. It's as if to say, we thought we were getting a perfect house but then we found out a window was broken, a faucet drips, and an outlet didn't work (or worse, there was water damage somewhere). So then another round of negotiation begins with what the seller will agree to fix and what the buyer is willing to accept and fix on their own terms, with both hopefully meeting somewhere in the middle. Ding! Round Three begins. Pal, I hope your Dad will be reasonable and understanding of this process. It's stressful no matter what happens.