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Gifts for Out of town visitors

Boopadaboo
9 years ago

I have the opposite question of a hostess gift. :) We have an Au pair. it is what works out best for our family.

Every year the Au pair's family (3-5 people usually) comes to visit and stays with us from anywhere from 7-10 days. they do day trips and travel with their daughters but spend time at the house too. They usually spend a lot of time in Manhattan and shopping so we don't always see them for dinner.

We usually take them out to dinner once and do a day trip to the zoo or something like that.

Should I get them a gift too? what would you give them? they take back suitcases of things they purchase themselves usually (depending on the family it varies how much shopping they do :) )

Comments (18)

  • mtnrdredux_gw
    9 years ago

    I would think something quintessentially American or NY; eg a Tiffany gift or something from Shaker Workshop or maybe Steuben Glass?

  • bpath
    9 years ago

    Since this is your au pair's family, something of your children would be lovely. You could take a piece of their artwork, or have them compose a story (especially if it the au pair is in it) (if they can't write yet, type it and print in comic sans or or something like that) and illustrate it, then frame it, or have it printed on fabric, or something like that. Then it's personal, has to do with their daughter, and it makes a nice story. Oh, you might want to put it in a presentation box so they don't have to display it if they don't want to.

    Are you handy? Something you crochet or paint or embellish? Or a recipe and special ingredient for something you make that they or their daughter really likes?

  • graywings123
    9 years ago

    You are hosting 3-5 people for 7-10 days, taking them to dinner and doing a day trip. I think that is quite enough of a gift.

  • martinca_gw sunset zone 24
    9 years ago

    What graywings said.

  • Oakley
    9 years ago

    Also what Graywings said. The guest is the one who gives a gift to the hostess.

    Your a saint to put up with that many strangers for so long. lol.

  • Fun2BHere
    9 years ago

    I agree with Graywing's comment.

  • mtnrdredux_gw
    9 years ago

    Totally agree that it is not an occasion that requires a gift, unless you want to. I'm assuming this is the typical 1-yr au pair stint?

  • ellendi
    9 years ago

    Cast my vote with the majority.You are being over the top generous and should not be giving them a gift along with everything else you will be doing.
    They should be giving you a hostess gift!

  • bpath
    9 years ago

    That's why I suggest something from the kids, they are not hosting the family, but they do benefit from the au pair. This is an opportunity for them to learn the power of a thank-you. Yeah, even though Mom is the one doing the work of preparing the gift, still...

  • mtnrdredux_gw
    9 years ago

    Boopadoo,

    To clarify, is the visit coincident with the end of the au pair's term/visa? Is this a goodbye for the au pair?

  • Boopadaboo
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    These are good ideas. thank you!

    I was worried because the last couple of years we did not do a gift. then something this year made me think maybe we should.

    We do so appreciate the "gift" of their daughter for a year and think of them as daughters ourselves. We stay in touch, they come back to visit, etc.

    We usually do gifts for the Au pairs - one for birthday (usually an apple product) one for the holidays (cash), a necklace and a video (that my husband spends a lot of time on that is a year in review to music) when they leave.

    these family visits do not coincide with the departure of the Au Pair. they are usually just whatever timing works out for their family (which we agree to in advance obviously).

  • mtnrdredux_gw
    9 years ago

    It isn't a "should" situation, but I can understand that you might feel moved to do so. Those are my favorite gifting occasions!

    I think everyone who considers an au pair hopes for what you seem to have achieved; an array of friendships from around the world. Kudos to you!

  • Boopadaboo
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    It really is a crazy process when you think about it Mtnrdredux. I was dubious at first but it really has been wonderful for us. We love having them back for visits. Our first Au pair is in medical school and will finally be able to come back for a visit this upcoming summer. We are looking forward to it.

    I think the key is to outline your main criteria and screen screen screen. Stick to the must have's, do multiple skype interviews for mutually compatibility, etc. We also insist the new candidates talk to at least the last Au pair so they get the inside scoop. :)

    Despite all of that we did have one misstep and she went home (as opposed to rematch)

    We have also seen a lot of missteps among our Au pairs' friends over the years. I can't tell you how many times we have had an extra girl living with us for a few weeks as they sort out their situations and try to find a rematch! It must be so hard to be here without your family or friends around you. I can't even imagine. Their parents are always so appreciative, as are the girls of course, for a "comfortable, safe" place to stay as they work out their next steps.

    I am sure more then anyone wanted to know. But in case anyone is on the fence, it really can be wonderful for you and your kids. :)

  • joaniepoanie
    9 years ago

    I agree that a gift is not necessary, but if you are inclined I think something produced locally is nice...jams, wine, chocolate, etc...

  • Boopadaboo
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    I am going to see how things progress. Her family is actually here for a longer duration, they are just staying with us for 7-9 days. They are also going on a cruise for a week and staying in the city for 5 days.

    So far Dh is not too happy. They got in late the other day and I had taken off a couple days so dh and I went sofa shopping ( a whole other story) when we got back they had rearranged the whole garage including moving all his tools , taking organizers off the walls and moving them to different places. Also reprogramming the coffee maker.

    Would you be annoyed? Dh was livid. One area they rearranged he had just cleared out so the generator could be put there and another so wood pellets could be delivered. I get it was not the most organized garage, but we are not kids, and in fact are probably the same age as them.

    It is going to be an interesting few weeks!

  • User
    9 years ago

    I agree that you do not need to give your visitors a gift, but I would argue that you do not need, nor should you, host the au pair's families for a vacation. If you figure in the cost of that you might be better off hiring a recent college grad with an education degree to live in and care for your children.

    Hosting the family blurs the boundaries of the employer / employee relationship. The young women and their families are not your friends; this is not a social situation, but a business one. Your DH's anger at your guests is completely understandable and I would speak to them today and let them know that they are not to move or rearrange anything in your home.

    I wouldn't extend the offer to the next lot, unless you have a separate guesthouse for them. Let them stay in a hotel and just invite them for a nice dinner one night!

  • mclarke
    9 years ago

    They are rearranging stuff in your house???

    For a gift, I would suggest a nice book of etiquette.

  • chispa
    9 years ago

    Boop, when my kids were little and we lived in Boston, we had many friends with aupairs ... I never heard of any of them hosting the aupair's family, never.

    They should not be rearranging anything in your house. Your DH has every reason to be livid.