I don't believe I have any privacy at all from satellites tracking my whereabouts by my cell phone or OnStar type things, from having a computer, or a credit card or from things like HIPAA, which actually codifies how many people DO have access to all your medical records. As a Dr. I am afraid to say "hi " to certain patients on the street, because of their privacy, but thousands of people probably have access to all my medical records for "administrative" and "insurance" purposes.

But the amount of information that people put out there about themselves is pretty astounding, and the real problem is that I think to a large extent the mass-dissemination to the general population is inadvertent/unintentional.

Deee that is hilarious!

Very good point about not posting photos while on vacation. Absolutely disgusting and immature that anyone would post anything related to...shall we say...."private bathroom functions." I'm amazed at the people who post photos of their kids....that, to me, is putting your kids in jeopardy needlessly.

Those people deserve what's coming to them. It's hard to back pedal when you've posted so much in the past.

" I think the level of self-importance, self-awareness, and self-disclosure has gotten way outta hand."
*nods yes* I think with some it starts off ok and then as they're exposed to more and more self absorbed/look at me posts it rubs off and becomes the norm. Sadly, I think it's only going to get worse.

More recent I have a friend who would post my full name, including maiden (you know, just to be clear as to which Shee it is.), as well as info about DS when we were getting together. She'd say what we were doing and provide updates and photos later. I got rid of my account many years ago, but had another friend inform me of this. I had a talk with the friend posting the info and she stopped for a while. The last time I was over she was posting status updates later about it. Based off her typical posts this is absolutely normal to her and she doesn't see the big deal. She's a very social and outgoing person in general and fb has ramped that to a new level. Needless to say we're not near as close as we used to be.

When we were looking at programs for DS, we came across one that has a public fb page with tons of photos of the kids during activities. An obnoxious and unnecessary amount. All I could think was I hope all the parents signed waivers, but you could see the approving comments from parents and the 'likes'.

I dread when my kids go to school having to deal with other people and their constant posting. I'm sure there will be a day when they head over to a friends house and we will have to talk with the parents about not posting photos and info. However, there's really only so much you can do. There will be school activities, most likely sporting events - you can't control it all. And a photo alone wouldn't be the worst thing I suppose, but lots of people feel the need to add specific info about the shot.

I view this privacy as completely different than being on security cameras, etc. I think what bugs me most about the social media angle is the complete and total lack of consideration when others feel the need to involve info and photos of you. As far as I'm concerned it's an invasion of my privacy. It's no big deal to them and most people, so why even stop to think it might be to someone else.

You want to post gobs of info about 'yourself'....have at it.

This post was edited by sheesharee on Fri, Sep 26, 14 at 14:40

Interesting observations. I agree with Annie. I know that I'm not anonymous on this or most other forums and sites. You could easily find out a lot about me from a quick search. I don't really mind. And to be honest, I could learn a lot about most others, too, if I really wanted to. It's sort of a false sense of security to me to bank on a supposedly anonymous screen name, especially when offering up personal details about yourself.

That said, if one of us knows another's real life identity, do you think it would be appropriate or inappropriate to make reference to that identity on this public forum without his/her consent, even if the referencer doesn't state the person's screen name?

For the record, I think it would be highly inappropriate.

If in doubt, don't.

jujubean asked:

"That said, if one of us knows another's real life identity, do you think it would be appropriate or inappropriate to make reference to that identity on this public forum without his/her consent, even if the referencer doesn't state the person's screen name?"

Extremely inappropriate is my answer.

I totally agree with Juju that just because you may not be using your name, does not make it impossible for someone to find out your identity.

If someone wants to post personal things about themselves, they should go right ahead. They should not post personal things about their minor children. It's not fair to that child.

Oh well, cheer up. Pretty soon it won't matter because the streetlights will tell everyone where you are at every moment. It's a great idea. Just ask the BBC:

(edited for typo)

Here is a link that might be useful: Why is that streetlight watching me?

This post was edited by writersblock on Fri, Sep 26, 14 at 15:25

I love the internet joke that pops up occasionally that says "May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook".

I don't really care if a streetlight knows where I am, they don't know how much I paid for my kitchen, or my sofa, or how much sterling I set the table with on holidays (if any).

Responding to Jujubean's question: Very inappropriate, because you are revealing information the member has chosen not to reveal and yet you are providing information by which a lot of people could connect the two. Just as bad as revealing both names together, in my opinion.

But another thing about Gardenweb is that sometimes, (and in this thread) people say "I will post this among friends..." But who are your friends on GW? The dozen or so people you seem to chat with regularly. The hundred people with whom you may only occasionally share information, or the unknown quantity of people who read the threads but may not even be registered members?

Since we are anonymous on this forum, we Can announce that we will be on vacation at a certain time, we Can say we just spent $100,000 on a kitchen, or we just inherited a boatload of sterling silver from a relative. Any one of these things are things that I probably would not announce to acquaintances and might consider in poor taste to talk about with friends.

For a long time I was hesitant to reveal exactly what city I lived in. As it was, another member and I came to realize we lived within a couple hundred yards of each other. And honestly that wasn't the most comfortable feeling for me, even though there are no bad intentions or feelings there at all.

Dee, so funny!

Blfenton, thatâÂÂs about how I feel as well. Go ahead and stalk me because you will be bored to tears after a very short time. And, if one feels like robbing me they will have to be content with 70% craigslist furniture and no jewelry.

That said, if one of us knows another's real life identity, do you think it would be appropriate or inappropriate to make reference to that identity on this public forum without his/her consent, even if the referencer doesn't state the person's screen name?

It is not only inappropriate, but that person should be banned from the forum. On other forums I've been on, revealing someone's RL ID is grounds for banishment. No forum hosts should tolerate that behavior.

Even with someone's consent, I wouldn't do it...it's not my place...let them be in charge of what's revealed about themselves, not me.

I used to post here under an alias, but started using my own name when I started a business (farm) and started a business page. I first tried to set up the FB account under the business, but then found it had to be individual and then you could create and manage a page. So now anyone can find my name, address and phone number but you could get those from property tax records. I even found my voting record online!

But I don't post pictures of myself or my family, and don't give my kids' names online. A Google search on my teen's name didn't find him so that's good. I don't give the schools permission to post photos, though I don't know if he is posting photos of himself on the Scout website (Shutterfly, password protected) or what the XC/track teams are doing. I thought he was joining FB to get the sports schedules but I couldn't find him, maybe he hasn't started yet. He must be the most un-connected teen in the US (we did give him a phone for Xmas just so we could keep in touch for coordinating pickups after away meets and Scout trips), and we like it that way!

Interesting point Pal. There is one poster that I realized probably lives close by. The more information we share, the more the dots can be connected.

And it true that I might ask for an opinion here rather than ask a friend or relative, since my IRL connections would be more personally invested.

I only know the real name of two posters here and have no worries whatsoever about either of them revealing real identities. I might worry about it if it was a different kind of poster, though.

Concur with Annie.

Have often been perplexed by the number and detail of structural issues involving new homes posted on GW. On many occasions the front elevation photo of the home has also been posted. If access to email via GW is enabled, one can also occasionally obtain a name.

Over time, one can rather easily deduce state of residence of GW posters and frequently city is freely shared. Tap out a quick Google search of a name/state/city which may possibly lead to Zillow or Redfin data. Confirm the house via Google Earth. These are easy search functions, imagine what a forensic data guru could access.

The last time I sold a home, known defects had to be detailed and disclosed. Something to ponder...
~bgj

name and address can usually be obtained from the public records--for homeowners, anyway. If people want to see pictures of my cats, my palo verde tree, and my old school pals, they're welcome to it. (shrugs).

That being said -- post pics of your vacation AFTER you return home.

Sure but the Name or Address can only be determined if you have one or the other.

I don't have a sterling table settings and china and I don't have an entertainment unit full of expensive electronics, but I've seen pictures like this posted on Gardenweb.

I think that is fine in relative anonymity. But if I were to post it and my name or address were readily known, I might as well take those same pictures and post them on my front door. I know people who have been burglarized for much less. Even if you didn't post pictures of your art collection a potential thief would at the very Least you had computers, which are easy to steal.

And, for example, the GW member who lived several hundred yards from here, I know where s/he lives, could determine the name, recognized their house when it went up for sale, and knew a great deal about the electronics and contents of the house. I'm an honest person, so it makes no difference, But it's obvious dishonest people are trolling internet sites to get information like this.

All we can really do it try to be careful. However, even the most careful people in the world still get burglarized. There is no real privacy anymore so one canâÂÂt live in fear about it or stop having online acquaintances that have similar interests just because there may be a bad apple somewhere.

When I went to Mexico many people said: donâÂÂt go there you will be murdered!

The whole country isnâÂÂt dangerous, just parts.

My odds of getting murdered are better in Tennessee according to statistics.

I feel safer having a Rottweiler though. Just yesterday the tile guy came in through the side gate instead of the front door where I give my rottie a command so he will go off guard. Well he pinned the man on the fence and wouldnâÂÂt let him move until I commanded an off guard. It scared the guy senseless. This is the same guy I had let in through the front many times and where my off guard dog happily followed him around with a wagging stub.

I don't think I would mind so much if people would just post pictures of themselves and family doing things, but it's all the slogans and word of wisdom or whatever for the day I get tired of clogging up the newsfeed.

I had a friend going through nursing school whose feed I turned off as it was so routinely gross. Yes, the perfect bowel movement, what the heart looks like, the brain, the lungs, etc.. Not what I wanted with morning coffee!

I don't want the thread to veer off into "personal safety" territory, per se. I just think there is a lot of stuff that's nobody's business, or, at least, nobody you don't want it to be's business. I live in what a lot of people would consider a relatively dangerous city, and I take public transportation all over the place and I think nothing of it. There is a regular drug trade and sex trade right on the corner almost every night. (And on the other corner are new $2M houses so we'll see what happens). Once I saw an article that discussed how people who live in neighborhoods that are dangerous and where people get murdered, they have higher levels of stress and depression. No kidding, but the funniest part of the article is there was a picture of my old building illustrating it. (There had been a double murder robbery in an office space next door, but that was a complete fluke). The murder wasn't funny of course, it was completely idiotic, but the funny part was how inappropriate the picture was. But that's how people get "ideas" about things.

Well, I joined FB about a year ago.

Why did I join? I have been playing bunko with a group of women for over a dozen years. Last year I went to bunko and one member was talking about her grandson who was over a month old (he was born premature, and she had been absent the month before).

I expressed surprise that I must have missed her email to all of us about his being born.

"I posted it on Facebook"!

At that moment, I realized that not being on FB was making me into an old and out of touch person who was only going to continue to miss out on information and events that I would want to know about.

I have met several GW posters, mostly on the gardening side. I have exchanged seeds and plants with members around the country. I do not think this is unsafe in any way. I think most crimes are committed by acquaintances or people taking advantage of unfortunate situations.

I read this forum most days, but rarely post. I have gotten emails from members who don't post at all, but wanted local info from me. Someone who emailed me about upholsterers turned out to to have known my husband 25 years ago!

Facebook is a different story. I have only a few Facebook friends, mostly relatives, but I visit It frequently to read a local page. Members of this page get nasty with each other and post detailed accounts of the goings-on on their streets, their children's schools, weekend plans, etc. This is a page with over 7,000 members yet they post as they are writing to close friends. It's disturbing, yet entertaining.

Well I held out on getting a cell phone, too, and it was really ridiculous because I was working in two different locations 4 days a week then. Having to tell people "From 8-12, I am at 610-___, then I am out of touch for a couple hours and from 2-6 I am at 215-___ and after that..." etc. ad nauseum.

My thing about Facebook is there is a lot of "keeping in touch" with people you don't actually don't want to keep in touch with enough to actually talk to or even email. It's a very impersonal way to maintain a lot of relationships. I am sure I am missing out on a lot, but I am missing out on a lot of people who don't actually want to Speak To Me Directly.

A friend who's only a friend via facebook is not a friend.

If you are on facebook now, you have given facebook permission to track every move you make on your computer even when not logged in. Read the current privacy policy. There is no opt out for this anymore and they say flat out that they will not honor do not track requests.

One good thing about Facebook is that some crimes have been solved and important info has come through on cold cases. On my brothers cold case page I have gotten a few clues and forwarded that info to the police. The police know who was involved but say they do not have enough on them. ItâÂÂs really much more complicated than that as the area has separate and interchangeable laws and government between the American Indians of the area. Still, you never know what that site may bring as people seem to open up with me a little more as time goes on. It is a bit dangerous for me though and I have had to kick two nutters off so far. You canâÂÂt be too choosey on friends as most of the info has come from the underbelly. Oh but boy are there some nutters, sometimes I have to take months off from that page because itâÂÂs exhausting.

Interesting topic. I'm one of the few holdouts that do not have a FB account. My husband had to have one for work and sometimes I see things people post on his account and I'm at a loss for words, people have no foresight. And what's with the announcing every time your'e at a restaurant, or you sit down to watch TV. I really don't care. It's crazy!!!

This is actually the only social media I participate in and I lurked for a long while until I really needed help. I'm very cautious about what I put on here as well, careful not to reveal my state, my name or my families names, as well as which posts I respond to. But I'm by nature a very private person, so this is a stretch for me.

My cousins got me into facebook and I'm glad they did as it's a way of sharing photos and keeping up to date with what's happening. I've reconnected with other friends and family via facebook too. It's the kind of thing that we used to use xmas cards for, but I find fewer and fewer people are sending them anymore. This way we can keep in touch more often and more effectively with pictures, comments, messages and the like.

I find that I use it like a journal, a photo album... I look back and am reminded of special days or events that happened....a particularly lovely sky or a flower or a hike...

I may have lost some privacy, but I've gained so much more.

And why do people post (for the whole world to read) what should be a personal love note to his/her SO?
I mean seriously, they write:
Dear Bob, you are the most wonderful, exciting blah, blah, blah...and I'm like, why are you telling US? Just tell BOB.

I enjoy FaceBook and use it similar to Annie.

This poster (see pic of a typical FB post) cracks me up. The Mom of one of my kid's friend who is currently busy promoting herself as the most enlightened, up and coming, guru. She claims her information comes to her directly from "The Source." Of course, 'The Source' is anyone you believe in. God, Buddha, whoever. Crazy California, where anyone can strive to be a guru/cult leader.

Melsouth, I think the Love Letters are ridiculous too.

I also got on facebook because I was missing out. I have a casual group of friends and never got vacation pictures or other personal events and if I asked, they said "I posted it on facebook" was always the answer.

I enjoy it, it is simply a way for me to feel connected to my people/world.

I also always post with the rule that whatever I post, I wouldn't mind seeing on the front page of the NYT. Perhaps Anthony Weiner should've stuck by that rule...he'd still be a contender instead of a has been pervert.

I'm on facebook and find it is an easy way to share things and keep in touch. Anyone who would post a photo of a BM I would immediately delete as a friend not only on FB but in all aspects of life. Right now a few friends and I are encouraging each other in an exercise program we are participating in.

I recently found out a friend's husband died as her daughter posted the info on facebook. She posted a photo with the obituary that was going to be in the newspaper. If I had not seen it there I would have been quite some time before I found out. My friend or her daughter was in no condition to call "everyone" with the news. I am not extremely close to the family but certainly wanted to go to the wake. I don't get a newspaper and don't read obituaries online.

DH refuses to get on FB because he says the silly posts would drive him crazy. I think you can enjoy the good ascepts of social media while maintaining some privacy. Remember you have complete control over what you post and who your friends are.

Bumble wrote, "... but it's all the slogans and word of wisdom or whatever for the day I get tired of clogging up the newsfeed."

Girl, I'm right there with you! What possesses them? They're not entertaining in the least. And they're not helpful either.

I too have had to unfollow a few of my friends who keep doing that.

I do love the funny videos and sayings though.

Pal, I have not read every post here, but I shall get around to it. I read of that appalling beating in Philadelphia, after the perpetrators dined and drank at an upscale restaurant. I am so disturbed by the wanton violence and hatred that abounds these days. I do not post pictures, even though I sometimes I ache to do so, because my DH is totally opposed to it. I am not on FB or Twitter, either. I do believe this will go down in the history books as The Age of Narcissism, aided and abetted by technology and the bread and circuses attitudes of our leaders. I did google myself a couple of times; once I discovered that a roommate of one of the kids discussed me at length in his blog, but mostly I find erroneous information, which I believe is because some others have the same rather unusual name, and the information is about them.
An interesting note:
An appraiser arrived early to do an insurance appraisal of our house. I hadn't yet made our bed and excused myself to do so. He said, "Don't bother. We are not allowed to photograph beds."
Have you ever heard that?
One of the features of IOS 8 tauted by Apple is the update of physical fitness apps. As though HPAA isn't awful enough, now Apple, Google, et al, can track our health habits. Because we volunteer to let them do so.

This post was edited by kitchendetective on Sat, Sep 27, 14 at 10:29

As far as 'missing out' by not having it, I really haven't ran into any problems. I enjoying running into people I haven't seen for a while and having something to actually chat about or see. If something big really does go down, and it's something I should know, someone picks up the phone. That's not always the place for certain details anyhow. If I missed out on seeing vacation pics, we go through them/talk about them, later, when we get together. And yes sometimes they pull up their fb page. Honestly there really is only a handful of people, that aren't my family, that I would even care to see photos of their life. When this stops working, I'll have to rethink the situation.

Sometimes even the people left after you weed through you list, over time, will post things that rub you like 60 grit.

I'm one of those who hate calling people because everyone is so busy and always in the middle of something. But posting and e-mailing on FB is a way of catching up on one's own time....I don't have to worry about calling when they're waiting for a call from the doctor or they have company or are on their way out the door...

No need for address or a name, all you need is a photo taken by a smartphone or digital camera without the geotag info turned off on the device, and the site you're uploading the photos to doesn't block the metadata info, and you can know location of a photo taken.

I have FB. I got an account when my youngest dd was studying abroad and I wanted to see her pictures. But, I have to admit that it can be a little bit addicting. So much so, that I have taken "breaks" as I have from GW.

The Selfies drive me crazy. I just don't get it. Getting all dolled up and posting pictures that you have taken of yourself. Huh?

Pal...I hope the people involved in the crime that you described are charged with a hate crime.

Somewhere mentioned Fakebooking and people creating idyllic or false lives for their FB "friends".

Over the years, I'm sure there has been a lot of Fakebooking on GW too. I remember when Spike was in charge and someone would disappear. You were always left wondering.

You can remove the data before you upload a photo if you wish.

It's not covered by hate crime laws in Pennsylvania and the attorneys are insisting that this was not the motive behind the beatings (what was it then?) But what is interesting here is that the males don't have stuff posted all over the internet like she did and it appears to be making a difference in people s attitudes towards them.

"While many were calling it a "hate crime," the Philadelphia D.A.'s office says it will not be prosecuted as such because sexual orientation is not part of Pennsylvania's law"

Hopefully, this will be the catalyst to change PA law.

Birthing photos are now a big thing on Facebook. I'm talking babies covered in yuck. Some even show crowning shots, with the mother's anatomy up close and personal. These aren't a few extreme cases either; it's a trend. And the photos are widely shared, not private. They get lots of Likes.

What's especially disturbing--besides the obvious--is the way these posters don't recognize any right to react to their photos with anything except admiration. No one ever dares to object, because they know what would happen. "Don't be a hater. What's wrong with you? No one is offended by this!" So the poster thinks everybody approves. And the trend spreads.

This is a classic characteristic of narcissists: the inability to recognize that other people and their viewpoints even exist as part of objective, independent reality. But we do exist. And we judge. Good luck getting a job from me in the future after I've seen your business in all its glory.

Marcolo? Marcolo! I haven't seen you in forever, or did i miss something.

Miss your humor! And insight.

Did you reveal your kitchen?

Hi, mtnrdredux. Hope you're well.

I'm just doing a quick drive-by before a big project starts up and I go incommunicado again. I can share more about the kitchen saga at a later date.

Does anyone really want to see pictures of another persons labor and delivery? If a child or other close relative was giving birth and it was either me in the room or they would have to go through it alone, I would be there and help and, obviously, see. But that is the ONLY "birthing shot" I would ever consent to see. Good grief!

"Birthing photos are now a big thing on Facebook." Wow. Haven't heard of that one, but I shouldn't be surprised. All these children will grow up thinking this stuff is acceptable and normal. Wait, apparently is it.

This post was edited by sheesharee on Fri, Oct 3, 14 at 12:55

LOL, Shee.

KSWL, I'm with you.

Marcolo, best of luck. Hope you are well, and don't be a stranger.

I have acquaintances who were invited to someone's house for dinner (a classmate's) and allegedly, after dinner, he popped in a porn video. And it turned out to be him, with a prostitute. They left.

At one point I was in a post-doctoral program and I occasionally crossed paths with him and I noticed that a number of the residents in his year were very nice to him. I asked one of them why, since he was such an obvious...bad person...and she said "Are you kidding? If he *likes you he does terrible things, could you imagine what would happen if he got Mad at you?"

He was like the Billy Mumy character who sent you out into the cornfield on the Twilight Zone.