Hi Pickyshopper, thank you so much for starting this thread.

I was hoping I'd be here sooner than later with good news but nothing yet.

I've had 2 IUI treatments so far and neither resulted in pregnancy even though I had 2 good eggs and 3 good eggs each time. I have done a 3rd IUI but won't know for a couple more weeks if it worked (fingers crossed). If the 3rd one isn't the charm, we are going to try one round of IVF and then it's time to see my oncologist again.

The mental part of this is so much worse than I thought it would be. I was so excited about the first IUI thinking we'd have beginner's luck but I was a bit sad it didn't work but still hopeful. Having to tell my husband the 2nd one didn't work (and a few people in our family) was devastating for me. This time around we haven't shared the details with anyone even though everyone "knows" that we are doing it. I feel like I live and breathe this 24/7 and hardly talk to anyone anymore as my mind is so selfishly occupied.

My heart breaks for anyone who has struggled with infertility. It's a lot of waiting and hoping and more waiting.

My doctors have assured me there is nothing more I can physically do for myself (I'm in the best shape of my life thanks to a Godsend of a nutritionist) and hopefully the diet has pushed off the cancer still but we won't know without another D&C which in turn disrupts the environment of the uterus. I'm hoping I'll be pregnant before we have to take that route but we are getting down to the wire and I won't lie, I'm very scared.

I'm sorry I haven't posted any update lately. Really there is no news except we are trying and praying still. And knowing I have so many people praying for me, I know whatever is meant to be is meant to be.

Hearing from my doctor that it's out of my hands now is a bit comforting but I still feel like I need to be doing something, you know?

This thread made my whole day when I saw it. Thank you again, Pickyshopper. I promise I'll be back soon with more info, I see my infertility doctor the beginning of next month and then my oncologist about 10 days later so I'll have a new plan if necessary. Please, please, please just keep praying.

Praying. Does being pregnant ward off this cancer or should we pray for that too?

Thinking of you and you are in my prayers. You are not the least bit selfish! What you are struggling with is one of the hardest things ever, I think. My heart goes out to you, emerald.

Hi CLBlakey, the progesterone produced by a pregnant woman will actually suppress the cancer which is amazing to me.

I took Megace for 6 months (August to March this past year) which is synthetic progesterone. But it's not safe to take while trying to get pregnant. Mind baffling to me!

So in essence, getting pregnant would actually protect me from the cancer at least 9 months and then the hysterectomy would be done at birth.

Thank you, nancybee!

Good luck with your journey. I hope all will be as you wish - a healthy baby and a healthy you.

Thank you, blfenton.

I know some people in my life think I'm playing with fire after receiving a cancer diagnosis but I want this more than anything. It's worth the risk to me and I've made my peace with that part (as best as I can, of course).

emeraldisle, I just went back and read your old posts as I couldn't recall if I had ever responded to them, or only read them all. Turns out I hadn't ever responded, I'm sure because so many others did (and so eloquently) that there wasn't much else I could have said and you were already trying to respond personally to everyone who posted. But I read everything and was very touched and concerned, as I know probably many other 'lurkers' were, with your struggle.

I'm just an example of the numerous people who I'm sure, also have you in their thoughts and prayers, but also never actually posted. I started this thread today, as I knew so many people would want to know how you are doing. Rest assured, we'll all be hanging in there with you, wishing you the best possible blessing of a healthy baby and a healthy outcome for yourself as well!

Thank you, picky shopper. Your message now and everyone else's here and on other threads mean so very much to me. I believe in the power of prayer and I'm so thankful for people like you with messages like this.

I'm so very hopeful for my future and it's because of people like you praying for me.

I, too, have been thinking and wanting to post to ask for an update. I hesitated cause I knew you would have come to post with wonderful news , but it is good to know that you are keeping up with a positive attitude and your health with good nutrition. I admire your willingness to go through all of this to have a child. God bless and you are still in my prayers.

Perfect that really is amazing. Here's to praying for a healthy little stubborn sticker and a healthy womb for them to stay in. May you join the ranks of Sarah, Rebekka, Hanna, and Elisabeth.

Thank you, mboston. I promised you all that you'd be the first to know when I'm pregnant and I will keep that promise!

Thank you again, CLBlakey. I did tell the doctor that triplets was FINE with me! The more the merrier I say!

I was so happy to tell my DH about this thread, it made him smile too knowing you are all still praying for us and sending positive vibes our way.

we're rooting for you, it's great to get your news !!!!

Mrs original Infertility is also rooting for you and praying for medical advancements that can solve these problems!!! What a heart ache. I know the feeling. Keep on keeping on and let us know what you are going through. You don't have to do this alone. (((Hugs)))

Thank you, mitchdesj and golddust.

I keep saying if this man (my doctor LOL! not my husband) can't get me pregnant, then no one can. :)

It's so much easier when someone understands the struggle, no one knows what this feels like unless they've been through it.

And I'll take all the hugs I can get!

Hugs, hugs and more hugs for you. I am certain a baby will come to you, one way or another.

Emerald, I think of you often as well. Adding some strong, bright prayers from here for you.
Beth P.

thinking of you emerald...it's exactly why I hopped over to the Conversations side tonight.

You have so many friends keeping you in their thoughts and prayers, even all the ones here that you have never met.

Bee

Found out this week that my 3rd and final IUI didn't work. I was heartbroken to tell my husband but he was so supportive.

I cried when I called my doctor's office to cancel the pregnancy test scheduled for Friday as I was so hoping this was the one.

Now it's onto the IVF but I have to skip this month as it's called a Rest Cycle since I had 3 months of hormones already. I wanted to scream that I don't have time for a Rest Cycle but I didn't. I have to trust them that it's the right thing to do.

When I had my first IUI in June, I was so excited to think I'd be 3 months along when I saw my oncologist. So then in July after it didn't work, I figured it would be good to be 2 months along. Now this month I was grasping at straws to at least be 1 month along and see my oncologist as a pregnant woman. Now I have no chance to be pregnant before I see her in a few weeks.

I thought when I got the 6 months to try and get pregnant that we'd have 6 fertility cycles and now I really only got to try 3 times. 6 months seemed like so much time back in March when I got the go-ahead and now it's over. I don't regret trying and I know we have one more major big shot but I was so hoping we'd be expecting by now.

Thank you so much for your continued prayers and good vibes. I hated to come here and post with this news but knowing how much you all care and think of me was so very comforting.

Emerald, I'm so sorry. Have you investigated any alternative methods? I have accupuncture, and the woman who I see told me she had helped a woman who had been trying to become pregnant for several years. It may not take more than a few sessions, and it isn't horrifically costly.

Here's a link for a little more info into the treatment, and why it could be successful. God bless.

Here is a link that might be useful: accupuncture

Oh emerald, my heart aches for you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers that a positive pregnancy test is in the near future for you!

I am so sorry that you didn't get the news you wanted. I will be saying extra prayers that the IVF is the answer. Keep up the faith and we are here for you, no matter what the news is.

I saw my fertility doctor today (seeing my oncologist next week), he's an amazing man. Even if I never have a baby, I will consider myself blessed to have met him.

I start BCP (birth control pills) on day 1 of my next cycle and then all the excitement begins. (Who knew a woman trying to conceive would need BCP! It's more the hormone control but still, I laughed.)

I will be doing a very aggressive IVF cycle assuming I'm only allowed to do one (my oncologist gives the final word after this cycle).

I was given several options to choose from: 1. choosing to walk away, 2. doing one more IUI, 3. a less invasive IVF treatment or 4. doing the most aggressive, highest chances, "bring it on" medical treatment to conceive (with a few considerable side effects but I feel the risk is worth the possible results).

I assume you all know I chose #4. The biggest risk is estrogen fueling the cancer but if I'm going to have a hysterectomy either way in the end, my first instinct was to do it. What do I have to lose? I don't want to walk away from any of this wondering what could have been. And in my heart, in the end, even if I take a risk with my own body at least my husband would have a DD or a DS to carry on my/our spirit.

We are seeing a social worker soon as the stress of us trying to cope in our family life is taking it's toll (it's been quite easy for us to totally withdraw from our family to avoid the pressure of everyone's opinion, even though we know everyone is trying to be helpful).

I actually didn't cry my eyes out with my doctor today, I assume my DH and MD were just as surprised as I was. I'm hoping it was due to a calmness knowing I'm so blessed and loved by so many people regardless of the outcome. It was either that or I'm too stressed to even react to the reality that my hysterectomy is coming sooner than later.

I know I'm so very lucky to even have the opportunity to try and do these procedures but I can't seem to escape from pregnant women and babies which is something I need to come to terms with very soon.

I know this isn't much of an update but I wanted to document my appointment in case anyone else is struggling with their own infertility. Seeing my oncologist next week will really put things in perspective. I was told she could possibly extend my trying to get pregnant time but I don't know if my heart can handle that stress to be honest.

Glad to hear from you. I, too, was blessed with an wonderful Reproductive Endocrinologist. I know that I would not have had my son without this doctor's help and support.

As I have said before, I admire your ability to make these tough decisions and continue to move on. I always felt that I had so little control over my infertility and found it hard to even make simple decisions in everyday life situations. I once drove around an empty parking lot at the college I was attending - I couldn't decide where to park - just turned around and went home.

Sometimes I think we have to become "numb" so to speak to deal with the reality of everything. You seem to be able to stay focused on what you have to do and are able to avoid the distractions, even from family. We were fortunate in some ways - we didn't live near any family during our years of trying to have a child, so I didn't have to face many family functions. Of course, the questions still came at times and being around pregnant women was so difficult to deal with. Our next door neighbor in our duplex was expecting at the same time I lost our first. She wasn't happy about being pregnant - and here I was trying to keep mine. Ironic to say the least.

I hope your appointment next week goes well and that your plans for IVF are successful. Will be looking for you posts to come.

You're quite a strong woman, never give up. I join the other prayer warriors and offer prayers for a safe pregnancy and your ultimate dream of a happy healthy family. God bless you.

As mboston, said, we'll be looking for your posts to come. Just know that even though we might be virtual 'strangers' to you, your eloquent posts touched our hearts. Most of us probably know someone close to us who is also struggling with the heartbreak of infertility. But your effort to conceive while trying to keep cancer at bay is even more of a testimony of your determination to have a child. Our prayers are with you for the best possible guidance from your doctors and the best possible outcome!