Invited to too many showers/weddings!

9 years ago

My mother-in-law is the youngest of 13 children. Each of those children had multiple children and grandchildren, and in many cases, great grandchildren. Most everyone lives about 1.5 hours from our home. On average, we are invited to 1-2 wedding/baby shower, wedding/reception, high school graduation open houses per month. I don't know any of these people, and my husband doesn't know most of them, either. Just today I received an invitation to a bridal shower for a woman I've never heard of or met. I don't even know for sure if she is related, but I can't image some random stranger is sending me an invitation out of the blue! (Except that is exactly what happened.)

We cannot afford to send a gift for every one of these events, especially for people we don't know, and frankly, would prefer not to attend them, given that it's a 3 hour round trip drive and we are already attending events with our own families.

What is the best way to handle this? Continue to RSVP with our regrets and simply not send a gift? For the record, we had an open house for our son this year and intended to only invite the closest of relatives. MIL took it upon herself to invite just about everyone in her extended family and maybe a handful showed up or sent cards. We didn't hear from most of them and were not offended.

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Comments (5)

cyn427 (z. 7, N. VA)
9 years ago
I would continue exactly as you have been doing. That seems like the perfect solution.
CaroleOH
9 years ago
I would respond as you are currently. Perhaps in your extended family they would rather invite everyone vs. having someone feel slighted if they were not included.

Maybe the reason you had such a light response to your invite is others in your large extended family are feeling overwhelmed as well by so many family get togethers!
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ellendi
9 years ago
I agree with the above posters. Keep doing what you have been doing. I guess this family feels you can't go wrong by being inclusive. If not for being over whelming for you, it's actually kind of nice.
(Spoken from a person with a tiny family.)
ILoveRed
9 years ago
Kimberly--let me tell you a story. Dd is getting married next April. She and I just met with the planner at her venue along with her future MIL (a wonderful gal, btw).

Grooms father is one of 14 kids and grooms mother is one of 8. By the time we invite all of them, their spouses, and their children (grooms first cousins) ..uh boy.

We are inviting my brothers and sisters and DHs brothers and sisters. And their kids (daughters first cousins). But this group is tiny compared to the grooms.

But, how do you decide???????? We don't want to slight any family. As a matter of fact, I started having palpitations just thinking about the shower. I will draw the line on the guest list for that one.

Just look at the invitation...decline it and don't send a gift. I am hoping we get lots of declines ;-)
Fun2BHere
9 years ago
I agree. Decline politely and don't send a gift or decline politely and send a congratulations card only.