I am married, but I just have to tell you that I personally know two successful marriages from Match.com.
I think you have to really weed through and not get discouraged.
Good luck, you sound like a nice person. I am sure you will get good advise here.

There are other sites that are geared to people over 50 that are more appropriate than Match. My girlfriend (smart, nice looking, over 50) had no luck on Match, but went to MyLife, i think it was, and got many more responses.

Chiming in to say that online dating seems to be one of those didn't-exist-when-we-were-young(er) things that really have evolved into something great. I know several people who met their partners, either dating or marriage, online. I think you should keep an open mind and see what happens.

Also, if you are lonely and have time you want to fill, could I suggest volunteering? The cliche is really true: you will get far more than you give/ it feels incredible to be needed/you will find it rewarding in so many ways.

Good luck!

Like ellendi, I am also married and know more then a few couples who met through online dating sites. For 2 of the women, their first online date has become their husband.

ML

I will post MIL's experience with E-Harmony. She got rejected and was crushed. Apparently if your goal is companionship vs. marriage, they will reject you. DH and I are encouraging her to try MyLife.

I met my DH when I was 40 at a rock memorabilia convention, so totally the last place I'd ever expect to meet a quality guy. The gym never panned out, and I even have a Mustang I'd take to car shows which is also totally male oriented. I'm not religious, so anything church-related is out, but that does work for some people.

Are you politically-minded? You might want to volunteer with your Board of Elections, a women's group if you belong to a political party, or volunteer for a campaign. Lots of fundraisers, etc., with men.

I'm trying to think of what I would do in your situation.
I'd look for a coed book group or dining club. That way, I'd have fun pursuing my own interests.

I don't wear a wedding ring, and the other day I noticed a guy checking me out at the fish counter. How many servings one buys says something. I would never date him, though, because he bought farm raised fish. I eat the good stuff -- halibut. (Just kidding, I hope you know)

Is there a kayaking club where you could go on your own and meet other singles?

Are there opportunities through work? I met a single guy at a technical conference the other week and we talked a lot about redoing our houses, of all things.

I just don't like to think that the only thing I'd have in common with my date is that we both want to date, although maybe that's a good start.

I would never date him, though, because he bought farm raised fish. That is too funny because I might do something exactly like that!
Except, I do eat fish in restaurants and I know it's farm raised :-(

I think you need to think smart here, yes, pursue the things you really enjoy but be realistic, you might need to pursue the activities that have more men at them. Also, discreetly let your friends and even good acquaintances know that you would like to meet someone, they have friends, brothers, co workers, etc.

Oh, sorry, I guess I didn't really address your question about handling the online dating thing. There's a program in the Chicago area called "It's Just Lunch". I like their model because they interview you and personally choose your partners. That's one good way to avoid dealing with anyone and everyone who has a keyboard. Maybe there's a similar service in your area. Unless of course you are looking to date someone who lives at the opposite end of the country... then you need the internet.

My sister is a widow at 60. She says there are all kinds of men out there BUT she is a tiny little flirt. I tell her she is a legal child and attracts pedofiles. (That is a joke.)

Try grocery shopping after the work day ends every day. Meet single guys grocery shopping the produce aisle. Ask them how to pick a Mellon or something and make small talk... Ask a single guy if he has ever tried such and such that you are considering buying if you are in a different aisle...

I know. I sucked at being single. Met my DH through my work. He was President of the Board at my non profit. He came looking for me after he had a dream about me and I turned him down. Luckily he pursued me. Marrying him was the best decision I've ever made. He is the best man that I know and we'll be married 30 years in October. Gosh, I should plan something! That's a milestone.

Good luck and tell us how it is going. I like this thread.

GF was divorced and ended up answering a personal ad. They dated for 3 years and now have been married for 8 years. So it can happen.

Thanks, you guys! I am involved with clubs that I found through meet-ups, a web site that lists club activities within a radius of my zip code. I think that it's mostly women because they're joiners and men not so much. I am in a music group, outdoors groups, a book club (well that one is all women), and other groups that do all kinds of things I like to do - these groups are not necessarily "singles" groups, though. I'm definitely enriching my life and getting out there, but I haven't met anyone I'd want to date. And no one has asked me out, either!
It's a little scary to put myself on a website proclaiming that I want to date. It's not really stranger danger that worries me, although that's a consideration, but it's like "you-hoo, here I am, please love me". Yikes. But it's nice to hear that it works for many people.

This may be too simple but have you made the people, in the various groups and activities you are already doing, know that you are interesting in dating? Some of them must have brothers, friends, or co-workers. They might only know you as a member of the group and not know you are ready to pursue a dating life.

Do you have any non-dating males in your life you could offer some of your female friends in return for their introducing you to their friends?

Do you have any school reunions coming up? That might be a place to start, even if you don't normally attend them.

I wish you the best of luck. Even though the world is full of singles, it is hard to make the connection. I know my 50-something sister is going through the same thing.

My sister knows someone who recently remarried. Her advice was to let your friends (and acquaintances) know that you are open to meeting new people (men). You may be surprised at how well people do at matchmaking.

Good luck.

jo

Yes, it's kind of like trying to adopt kids. We adopted two. Let everyone know that you are looking. Network a good man. LOL.

Now youâÂÂve got me thinking -- which is why I posted here!

Maybe IâÂÂve not been assertive enough. IâÂÂve been out there doing my thing, but other than my close friends I havenâÂÂt been telling anyone that IâÂÂm single and IâÂÂd like to date. When IâÂÂm at the grocery store, too often IâÂÂm more focused on getting what I need and getting the heck outta there and not paying attention to whomever is right in front of me. You know in the movies when you see the two romantic leads and they just miss each other getting in and out of a cab or crossing a street? That could be me!

And now IâÂÂm also thinking about what signals I might be sending out. IâÂÂm very independent and that could come across as aloof sometimes. ItâÂÂs common for everyone to be a little guarded and detached in public and I need to be more accessible. Why would anyone approach me if I donâÂÂt look like IâÂÂm open to it? CanâÂÂt blame them.

This has been very helpful, thanks so much!

I wouldn't put too much into the casual encounter thing unless you are really open to a wide variety of types.
I didn't get married until I was 30 and although I did the grocery store scanning always, I never met anyone there.
But I do have specific religious beliefs and it was important for me to find someone who had similar. All the men I met casually never had anything remotely what I was after.

One of my sisters just told me she has two female friends, living in different states, that both joined hiking groups. Although it wasn't the intended purpose, or at least not the only purpose of joining, for either of them, both met men through the hiking clubs. They both said there are always more men than women on the hikes. One woman was in her late 50's and the other in her early 60's.

We are encouraging our single sister to give it try. And now I am encouraging you to give it a try!