Here is something to try. Have them take a longish vacation somewhere warm and nice and rent a 2 bedroom cottage or a first floor condo. Somewhere with a kitchen etc., so that they have to cook and live as they would at home. They may love the ease of use of a smaller space. My friend did just that and her parents loved it. Living right in the downtown area was also a big attraction as they could go out easily for dinner or a cup of tea without driving.

What is it your mom doesn't like about ranches? Is she thinking a main level house has to be the normal squat ranch house? If they are looking to build maybe show other options in styles that all have a main level only floor. Easier todo when building vs. when forced to buy what is available.

If Mom insists on a 2 floor house with the bedrooms upstairs, ask her how she will get upstairs if she can't manage the stairs anymore. Maybe she has a plan.

There are always those stair lift things.

My dad ended up with his bedroom in the dining room and a home health aide to give him a bath, because there was no full bath on the ground floor. Same thing happened to his parents. It's doable, but not easy.

I'm wondering if your mother is afraid that the kind of house you are suggesting would look like an "old people's house." Maybe if you could find some properties designed with "aging in place" in mind for her to look at, she might realize that a smaller, easier to care for house would be a blessing in disguise.

Her options aren't limited to ranches. Think of Arts & Crafts bungalows, with 1 and a half stories--they could have a bedroom upstairs until the stairs get to be too much, then move downstairs. Or a nice Cape. I wouldn't force her to look at ranches if she doesn't like them, but would suggest smaller houses where living on one floor is a definite possibility, with the option of 2 floor living for as long as they can manage it.

I can definitely see why you're concerned. Have you asked your mom if she's seen pictures of other one story houses she might like? If not, why not print some pictures to show her?

I'd come out and tell her she's not being practical. What happens if she sprains an ankle? And also tell her at her age a simple fall or trip can break a hip. Women are prone to this more than men.

Because she seems to have energy and is in good health, it sounds like she's in denial about getting older and the medical problems that invariably follow.

Have you talked privately to your step-dad about this to see what he thinks?

In that case maybe they should just stay put and hire someone to care for the yard. It would be less hassle and cheaper than moving into a larger home right now. Then when they're older and perhaps have more physical limitations they could make the move into something more practical.

Ask them to consider an elevator, then; and a 3/4 bath large enough to have a universal access shower on the main floor. In a 3000 square foot house, both of those are manageable without taking anything away from the downstairs living space.

It sounds as if your mother may intentionally be building something in denial of getting older. My parents refused to move and it was like watching my mother rock climbing trying to get around different levels of the house before they finally got various lifts, and my mother could afford to have someone in to help her bathe and dress every day. But they did at least admit they should have thougth ahead and put a full bath on the main floor when they built the house in their forties.

At 70, I don't think your mother is being just short-sighted, I think she is actively resisting aging in building such an incommodious house at her age, and you have a fight ahead of you suggesting anything differetn.

Yes -- BTDT.

My parents refused (or at least gave out all sort of excuses) why they would NOT leave their original two-story home .... even after they could NOT cope with the garden and all of the maintenance!

a)Yes -- print off examples of home plans for one story homes of all types, shapes and variations.

b)Yes -- be blunt about questions of coping in case of sprains, falls -- and of course -- even more serious health problems. Do they think that the family will be able to help out each and every time something happens?

c)Time/Cost of gardeners/maintenance and upkeep

d)Point out that many one-story homes are on the "Most Wanted" real estate lists -- for the VERY SAME reasons that we are talking about now .....

e)Are there any one-story homes on your real estate listings that you could look at?

Having spent a lot of time around people with the mindset your parents have, I doubt you will be able to get them to build something that will accommodate them in the future. Your mother is building her dream home. And frankly, they could live in the new house for the next 20 years without the stairs being a problem. I would push for a 3/4 bath on the main floor, (or at least add the plumbing for a shower) and let the rest go.

You could try to talk them into a guest suite with full bath on the first level, with the suggestion that they may have "guests" that can't do stairs.

Terri has a good idea, although they will still have to clean upstairs from time to time. Maybe they could have help with that? I also like the idea of them just staying where they are and hiring someone to do the yard. That's what we did with my grandmother until she went to assisted living. Her home is still there and I oversee it. I have the same company doing her yard and they now do my dad's - who lives down below. They both have acreage and did not want to leave their home. Dad is 82 and thankfully their home was one level. He is able to stay in his house (where he has lived for almost 50 years) but not able to keep up with the yard. My grandmother had to go into assisted living when my mom became ill and I will sell her home after she is gone. It's a two story and there is not a single entrance where you do not have to deal with steps.

When we built 15 years ago, we built one level and the only steps are two coming up the front step and one stepping out of the sunroom and/or garage onto the patio. Our home is a comfortable size for the two of us and one small pup, but is not a "large" home. I do not want a large home to clean and maintain and we have no children and few overnight guests. It's great for us, but of course every family is different.

tina

Well, if your mom is anything like mine, you can forget about talking sense into her. She is so stubborn and won't admit she's wrong about anything. She's also "sick and tired of everyone thinking I'm some naive twit!"

I know of an elderly couple who put an elevator in their home. Another elderly couple have chair lifts on the stairs. By elderly, I mean in their 80's and 90's.

All I know is that you have to somehow do it in a way where they think they came up with the idea of a one story. I have to do this with my mom. At one point she bought a home far away from all family members, it was on a creek with a fairly large yard plus it needed some work. She doesn’t know how to do anything. Then she proceeded to complain that no one came to help her with things. I live several states away and my sister (who works two jobs and has a large home and yard) lives a few hours away from her. At first I tried talking to her about a move to a nearby town that has many senior related benefits as well as housing options. No no no I was being too bossy! I enlisted the help from an aunt…still no progress. I then contacted every nearby senior agency I could find as well as senior housing options and had mom put on mailing lists. I’m not sure what the clincher was but she called me up one day and told me of her plans to sell and move…just like it was her idea.

For whatever reason, my parents were much better able to accept advice coming from their friends, their doctor, or some stranger they chatted with in the grocery store than to their children.
Maybe you could enlist someone else to talk to them about this.

The worker from the Office on Aging in our county went through and evaluated my parents' house with my mom, showing her dangers, tripping hazards, etc. and making recommendations.
(My dad had severe dementia and could not participate.)

Thanks to that, my mom made a lot of changes and safer choices in their house (they were doing some repairs and upgrading anyway).

If your mom insists on this kind of house plan, though, an elevator is a great idea, albeit at a significant cost.

I wanted to add to the book I wrote above LOL. Another thing about them staying where they are now is the possibility of assisted living when/if they get to the point they need to move out of that house. My grandmother has some mild medical issues and because of her age and mindset (she is 96), did not need to be on her own. There are several nice assisted living communities where you have your own apartment/villa/etc.

tina

To add a bit more background....my parents live in a smallish town aobut 1500 miles from me. I recently moved from a 3K sq ft suburban home into a 2K more urban home and LOVE IT. We purged so much stuff, it was a wonderfully cathartic experience! My mother and FIL came out to help us move and loved our new location and the idea that we can walk to the things we want to do. They thought that they wanted to do the same. We embraced the downsizing (although I do miss my walk in closet) and they just can't fathom that. When it came down to it, in their mind they NEED two seperate living spaces (they like to do their own thing), they NEED 4 bedrooms, they NEED all of their stuff that fills their current home (my mom is a bit of a packrat), they NEED space. typically doesn't come in a downtown location, so they started looking out a bit more. They can't find what they want in the existing inventory so they decide they want to build. They don't like the feel of a ranch style (even with an upper loft and bedroom area), and there are no options for a two story that include a master on the main level, so they decide on what I described above. Because this is a smaller town the options are somewhat limited. I gave up on trying to get them to "downsize" and focused on other things. But I certainly don't think they should upsize either.

I did find them a floorplan that I thought was nice. As I mentioned, it is a roomy enough 1900 sq ft with 3 main floor bedrooms and a full loft area with full bed and bath upstairs. It is a nice looking house, not a traditional rambling ranch. But she doesn't like it as well as the 2 story by golly. And she can get all this additional square footage (over 3 stories) for even less than it will cost to build a ranch so clearly that is the option that makes the most sense. If we could find a house that had a bedroom and bath down, I think I could win this thing, but the options are limited. There is only the single ranch plan, in fact. I have mentioned the cleaning of a large house ....response is "it's not that hard to clean", I've mentioned additional heating and cooling ....reponse is "new houses are energy efficient". They don't have unlimited resources, so cost is a concern which rules out custom. My mother is a delightful woman but extremely naive in many many ways. I work in healthcare so am much more practical. Guess that also means that I should be used to people not listening to my advice though.

I think I would also prefer them stay put and hire out the yardwork over building a house that is going to be so impractical, but now they are convinced that they are going to move. I think that my experience was what set this whole thing off, but it has veered about the entire opposite way from what they were first thinking

Sigh, I guess I can start talking up the elevator option and try to put my feelings that they are making a horrible mistake aside.

Thanks for the responses and sharing your experiences. I guess I don't have the market cornered on stubborn parents.

This post was edited by kellienoelle on Tue, Jun 18, 13 at 13:25

Oh, and one more point....my mother KNOWS that I am right and is perfectly willing to admit it. But she still wants to do what she wants to do.

I'm not sure how to counter that arguement....haha!

There is another option to keep in mind as they build their two-story house -- make sure that the garage/s is/are attached to the kitchen area. (watch for positioning of the new plumbing lines and electricity and even insulation options)

THEN -- IF they have an accident or something medical does happen in the future -- they could consider switching one of the garage spaces into a ground-level master-type suite ....

Just a thought -- for a possible future building option ....

Frankly, I am more concerned that they want to build and not buy. Having gone through a home rebuild ecently, I cannot even think of trying to deal with contractors and paint choices and finish choices when I am 70. Maybe having to actually try to start the bidding process and get quotes and dealing with the monetary considerations will make your mom see the issues and concerns. Do they have enough resources to be able to build before selling? Or will they need to sell and rent while building?

That isn't a bad idea. They mentioned that they could turn the living room/den into a bedroom if need be. I guess they could then also add on a bathroom if they could steal space from the garage.

FYI - here is the plan that I was proposing...with the option for the loft space with bed and bath
http://www.augustinehomes.com/floorplans/amherst_floorplan.pdf

Here is the plan that they are likely going to choose...with the option for a rec room in the basement
http://www.augustinehomes.com/floorplans/rapidan_floorplan.pdf

So, while there is a powder room on the other side of the garage for plumbing access, it looks like there are stairs to even enter the house from the garage. That could be problematic. I don't think that there is room in the foyer to accomodate a 3/4 bath. Any thoughts on an elevator? I have absolutely no clue about cost or what is logistically needed to build one

Is a cape cod style home a possibility? DH's aunt and uncle had one....the bedrooms were upstairs, but there was also a bedroom and full bath downstairs which they ended up using as they got more infirmed.

I have a suspicion that kellie's folks have never had to care for someone elderly. If they had, their attitude might be different.

We are relatively young and built our own home and specifically went for one floor living, we added a ramp for easier access, made accommodation for an elevator though haven't put it in, etc. in anticipation of our dotage. We have had to care for enough elderly people that we want to make it as easy as possible on ourselves and others. It doesn't mean we can't have what we want...we do...it just means that accommodation for future needs is built in as well.

Perhaps if you try to get your mom to start being considerate of you and other caregivers' needs over just her own, it would be good. Even just getting rid of the accumulation of stuff would be a huge help. If she doesn't do it, you'll have to. Sometimes Moms respond better if they think they're helping their children out....

Also, do they have contemporaries who have done or are looking to do something similar....sometimes peer pressure can be helpful....

GWlolo - they haven't looked into the finances yet. The plan is to get the ball rolling then put their house on the market. I think they would get a bridge loan of some sort. The current house is paid off. If they sold before the house was complete they would probably move in with my sister in her townhouse in the same town.

I've already told my mom that her head will likely explode with all the choices that she is going to have to make.

and ...in case my mom ever stumbles upon this...she would kill me for calling her 70, she is 68 and he is 70 but I was rounding for simplicity. I'll admit that they are young for their age, but they probably won't always be blessed with good health.

What a rough situation. For years, my widowed MIL was living in a huge house (six bedrooms, two floors). FIL has been gone for 12 years and she is now 76, but in good health. She talked about downsizing for years and years, but she is also a packrat, compulsive shopper, etc. While her house was clean and organized, she was in need of a professional to come help her get rid of so much of her possessions (which she did, after SIL paid for it and scheduled it!). Fortunately for her, she was able to live on the first floor (the house was originally a ranch but they added a second story), had a weekly cleaning lady and gardner, and only ventured upstairs when one of her five kids/families would come visit. What finally forced her to move...SIL, a single mom of twins, lived an hour away in San Fran and MIL was driving up nearly daily to take the kids to afternoon activities. Eventually, the drive became too tiring so she finally put her home on the market. Thankfully, she realized being elderly and alone, and moving into the city, she would need a secure place to live so she chose a one-level condo in a building w/24 hr security and still pretty big for one person - it's 3BD, 2BA and about 1600 sq feet. But that was about an 8 year process to get her to move.

My parents, OTOH, ages 72 and 77, have lived in a rancher for 50 years, the home in which I grew up. This topic actually just came up on Father's Day. My mother was talking about how several of their friends were moving to FL. Only one of her original friends from the neighborhood still lives there, coincidentally in a rancher as well, in a neighborhood with mostly two stories. I asked what their plans were, knowing that my mom wanted to stay in the house as long as possible. She said that she was thankful that years ago not knowing they would still be there 50 years later, that they'd had the foresight to buy a one level house b/c it has been very easy to maintain. She said they'd stay there as long as possible, but that if she outlived my father, she would move out b/c it was too much to maintain on her own. My father still mows the lawn, recently painted the whole exterior, etc. He still works because he WANTS to, not because he needs to...he's actually being forced into retirement and he's not happy about it. But that's to say that he is very active and healthy so I imagine unless something happens in in the near future that affects the health of one of them, they will be there a while.

Have your parents thought about perhaps renting after selling their home? Maybe they could find a rancher to rent to "try out" before they decide on what design they want to build. I'm surprised at their age they are considering buying such a large house given their situation. But, then again, my mother has mentioned several times how many of her friends have moved and built large houses even though it's just the two of them, the expense of maintaining, etc. OTOH, I suppose if you've lived in one place for a very long time and have always set your sights on some sort of dream home and finally have the chance to do it, I can understand why someone might overlook the negatives of owning a 2-story home. 68 isn't that old and given continued good health, they could live there for the next 10-15 years w/o problems.

Wish I had some advice. It's rough trying to reason with our parents. I'm sure the battle that will be mine to fight is the prospect of my father giving up his license. He's not anywhere near close to that being an issue, but he's so darn stubborn that when the time comes, I know it will be a source of contention!

Assuming their finances are in good shape, I think you should support them in doing whatever makes them happy.

So many older people start to become disengaged at this point. I think the stress and demands of building and making choices would be a good project for them!

Then, when and if it does become a problem, they can sell, and buy their "last house".

I say indulge them...

Parents will do what they want to do. Especially if someone is telling them they are too old for something!

68 and 70 is not so old anymore. If they're active and in good health, they've got a lot of good years ahead of them. Do they have a long term plan for when two floor living is no longer easy for them? They could downsize again years out to one floor living or a retirement community.

Just encourage them to put a full bath on the first floor and let them do what they want.

I can't get my 85 yr old mother to use her cane or not go out to the mailbox when it's icy outside. The more you try to get her to do something, the more she resist. She would have stopped her Lifeline, if I hadn't raised holy he** and paid for it myself.

Good luck.

I sure wouldn't do that but it may all work out in the end. DH has an aunt who's close to 90 and still lives in her own home. Bedrooms and bath upstairs, living on the main level, laundry in the basement. She still carries her laundry up and down from upper level to basement.

A nice two story with a study and full bath on the main floor would provide good options for the future. I know lots of people my age (50's) who have planned for their future with that arrangement.

My dad's house was perfect for someone retiring. It hurts that his wife wouldn't accept our offer when she sold. It was considered a rancher; 2 car garage (that he made wider) with full basement that had a powder room but could be finished & configured with full bath. Main floor had a large master suit with full bath then 2 more bedrooms; decent kitchen with nice sized eating area & a full main bathroom. There was a stand up attic; he did away with pull down steps & put real steps there. You could finish the attic to make another master suite or whatever you wanted to.

Wish I remembered the plan name off the top of my head. It was built really nicely too

Here is a link that might be useful: Excel homes

My parents had never built a house but when Dad turned 80 he had open heart surgery and got a new lease on life. He bought a new Lincoln Town Car..his fave car as they were big enough :) and they built a lovely home , all on one level in a U shape with a pool . It was in FL where they had already been living for 10 yrs. They shared the house for 12 years. Dad was 92 when he passed and up until his last 6 months had been managing just fine and Mom was still driving with no problems..she was 85. So you never know. It is their life and their money...support them with your positive comments and when and if they ask for your honest opinion give it. Otherwise you have to leave them as you will one day wish to also be left alone to make your own decisions. c

My 75 year old parents downsized to a one-story in FL about 10 years ago. They now attend open houses at assisted living facilities and do their research in case they need that as a next step. They both have pretty good longevity genes ... my grandmother is 95 and in great mental and physical health. Perfect parents when it comes to being organized and making sure all the bases are covered!!

My widowed aunt stayed in the 2 story home that she had lived in for her entire adult life until she was 85. She moved to a 1 story flat at 85. She died at 94. Up til age 85, she did stairs multiple times daily, she walked everywhere unless she took the subway or cabs at night, she prepared her own meals.

Her sons, my 2 cousins, supported her independence and desire to be the one that called her own shots. Yes, my cousins wished she would move to a place they felt would be easier, but they kept their mouths shut and respected my aunt and her wishes. My aunt ultimately told them when she was ready to change her home circumstances. And only then did she move.

I encourage you to support your parents and not try and impose your desires on them.

Have your parents build in an elevator.

In a new build the cost is much less than a retrofit.

Or they can build in the chase for one now and use it for closets in the meanwhile. Then install an elevator if it becomes necessary.

Meanwhile, walking up and down those stairs all day long is good for their health and stamina. Keeps your heart working and your bones strong. For instance my laundry is in my basement, so I've got to carry everything up two stories just to put it away. Of course, I also carry it all out 400 feet away from the house to my drying yard, first, but that's another story.

I'm speaking as someone who is 63 and still doing roof repairs on our three story barns. (And my DH, who is even older is still installing solar systems on roofs!) Not to mention other fairly heavy work around the farm, including participating in the cutting of all our house-heating firewood, hauling out of the woodlot and splitting and stacking and (finally!) hauling it in to the house.

I can't imagine that I'd want to live in a single story house anytime soon.(But that isn't to say I haven't made plans: I've identified a suitable spot for a small elevator, and our only bathroom is already on the first floor.)

Just make sure there's an elevator and a first floor full bath, and let your parens design and build what they want.

When I was in my 30s, 40s and even early 50s, I thought 60s and 70s would be old, old, old. Hardly.

L.

I'm chuckling a little at this thread because it reminds me of how we, as parents, feel/felt about our children making decisions as to where & how they are going to live. I have nearly velcroed my mouth shut many times, believe me!! Our DD & SIL bought a townhouse in a very sketchy area & we were & still are not thrilled about it. They could have afforded much more, but he wants no mortgage. That being said, there is no yard for our GD & lots of drugs, robberies (their BBQ), and even gunshots right in their area. But we have to keep our opinions to ourselves, I guess, just as they will have to when we move onto our next stage of life. Six years ago, we purchased a larger, more $$ home than we probably need, but absolutely love it & the neighborhood. I'm sure our kids were wondering "why"....

Good luck helping your parents through this decision...aging is not easy & often requires us to let go of many things. I hope they & we make good decisions!

Ok, here is an update. Apparently they are listening more than I thought. One thing that I have mentioned to her, is that she doesn't have a bedroom upstairs of the main living area now, so why start now. And then my stepfather whose "space" will be the lower level rec room (they don't watch TV together 99% of the time) will then have to go two stories to the bedroom. Again, why start now. She said she paid attention to how often she goes into her bedroom during the day and realized that she wouldn't want to have it upstairs. And she realized that house probably did have more space then they needed. So they went back to the drawing board and found a new home builder who has different options. They are now looking at a house that has a first floor master bed and bath. It doesn't have a separate living room, an eat in kitchen plus a dining room. Its similar in size to their current home. Overall I think it is a MUCH better solution for them. I am hoping that they think so too . So, that is what they are contemplating now and I am delighted. I didnt know that this option was possible in their town.

I appreciate the feedback! I totally agree with the comments about discounting peoples personal thoughts on such important matters. I would not be pushing them to move out of their long term home, but I wanted to hopefully steer them in the right direction since they want to build a home that they plan on living in for the rest of their lives. I can't take full credit for the change of heart. It was mentioned to enlist the help of her friends, and this was done when she posted her dilemma on facebook. The resounding feedback from her BTDT friends (or those who wish they had the means to) was to have a main level you could live on if necessary.

Reading thru all the comments, I am SO grateful that we talked my MIL & her DH into selling their mobile home (yes, a mobile home in a senior park-gah!) and moved into a nice apartment instead. They never had to worry about maintenance and she had a little yard/patio area where she could garden and had a bird habitat area. Her DH got so infirm, and then she died suddenly-his kids were able to just pack up the place and move him in 2 days, rather than having to deal with closing up a MH and then trying to sell it, etc.

Also, after having broken my back a couple weeks ago-I am SOOO grateful for our single level rancher. My laundry is out in the garage, and negotiating the steps has been difficult, but I am loving that I do not have to manipulate any stairs. If we had had stairs, I'd have made my bed in a recliner in the family room. Seriously, you just don't have any idea how demoralizing it is to be laid up and then dependent on others until it happens. I just couldn't imagine having to navigate stairs to go to bed or bathe now.

Kellie, Sounds like they are looking at something that might work for them, but if it doesn't pan out you might look at plans for a story and a half. The ones I have seen have all rooms on the main level including a master bedroom suite. The upstairs usually has three bedrooms and one or more baths. These have zoned heating/cooling so the upstairs can be shut off with no utility expense unless you have guests. These homes can be as big as you want or not.

" I would not be pushing them to move out of their long term home, but I wanted to hopefully steer them in the right direction since they want to build a home that they plan on living in for the rest of their lives."

Right direction according to whom?

Sounds like they are moving in the right direction. As I learned when dealing with my MIL, they don't want to give up the right to make their own decisions, and they don't want to be told what to do, esp by someone younger than them. So I learned to present my MIL with options and let her make the decision. She always chose the decision I thought was best, so long as I let her make the decision. Then I was able to make her feel even better by being supportive of her choice. It's a matter of pride and control. Worked so much better after I learned that.

Kellinoelle, thanks for the updates. It seems that their peers/friends were very helpful.

DH works with real estate closings, and he said the builders can quickly sell single floor plans or homes with a master on the main level. It is definitely a trend.

My former dept chair had her 90's parents living with her, and one of the reasons why they could stay at home vs. assisted was probably the single floor plan. Now that they are gone, I am assuming she will have no problem selling that home that has a lot of ADA accommodations in it. She will have to do some repairs where her father's scooter or wheelchair banged into the walls or trim.

There are definitely wide ranges in activities and abilities. My siblings are in mostly in their 60's, and their mobility is definitely limited due to knee and other orthopedic issues.

"Right direction according to whom?"

That depends. Parents who will be able to support and care for themselves until death have every right to do exactly as the please. However, if they end up needing the support and care of their children then they need to take those children into consideration when making decisions about their future.

I have a friend who's 80yo parents decided to up and move 800 miles away because they wanted to "go back home." Friend warned them that he wasn't going to be at their beck and call if they moved so far way. They depended on him for home repairs, errands, etc. Parents said they didn't need him - don't worry about it. Well, now mom and dad constantly complain that he doesn't visit enough and what's going to happen to them if they get sick? They can't afford to move back and are very upset with the situation they have found themselves in.

My friend has stuck to his guns because he wanted to teach then a lesson. Kind of mean but I also understand his side. He says, in the end, it they get sick and need help - he'll have to drop everything to travel away from home to take care of them, possibly jeopardizing his job.

The "right direction" according to ALL involved.

jcm - a right direction for a house that will suit them at 68 as well as at 78, 88, and 98. This is their request. Not a single person in my immediate family has ended up in a nursing home, and I am sure they don't want to change that. They have also specifically said that they want this to be their last move.

They are going to look at a house with the floorplan with a main floor master, so fingers crossed that they like it.

jcm - a right direction for a house that will suit them at 68 as well as at 78, 88, and 98. This is their request. Not a single person in my immediate family has ended up in a nursing home, and I am sure they don't want to change that. They have also specifically said that they want this to be their last move.

They are going to look at a house with the floorplan with a main floor master, so fingers crossed that they like it.

There is no getting around the fact that an elderly person that falls and breaks a hip will often die as a result. It is often the beginning of the end.

It makes sense to plan that your forever home will have as few stairs as possible.

I admire you for gently prodding your parents to take this into consideration. Especially, if you are the daughter that will be in charge of convalescence. It is not an easy job. You have nothing to hang your head over.

Update to my update, they are back to the big house with all bedrooms upstairs.

Sigh I give up.

Of course, you don't have to be elderly to struggle with stairs. When I was in my 30s, I was jogging and the leaves hid a pothole in the road. My foot went in and I broke my ankle. I was laid up for quite awhile with a cast, and even though we had only 2 steps to get into our ranch house, they were a challenge....

Look at it this way: if something happens and the have to sell suddenly, it will be a desirable house for a family.

I have always lived in a ranch so I am prejudiced.

Whether in my 20's, 30's.........or 70's, I would want a full bath and bedroom on the first level. Regardless of your age, you can have accidents as well as health issues that prevent you from climbing stairs.

My DD lives in her first starter home and she only has a powder room downstairs with no bedroom. It drives us (her parents) crazy because we are not used to that.

They chose this cute little house because of the price. They have two requirements for their next home - a bedroom suite on the first floor and an outside entrance to their basement.

In these lower priced developments, the builders "build up" to cut down on acreage (lack of). Sounds like your parents can afford to make choices - they want this to be their "forever" home, so they need to think about a design that allows them to live in that home as long as possible.

I'm 62 - I know what I am talking about. My MIL is 93 and we are still able to keep her in her home with family help and caregivers. She is still able to get to her bathroom and bedroom with assistance. WE ARE SO BLESSED! She has an "upstairs" that she has not been in for about 4 years.