I think we all know that Faron is light hearted and never tries to offend, lets try not to get defensive in a really fun thread.

Ditto what Lukki said. Many years ago, my community was a logging town. Then the 60s and 70s happened. Many San Francisco hippies moved in and at first tree were clashes between the loggers an the hippies. Loggers would literally try to burn out the hippies by setting fire to thir homes!!!

Times have changed. We are a diverse community who stands beside one another. It's isn't uncommon to see an old time 'red neck' having coffee at the local coffee shop with a person sporting dreadlocks, clearly enjoying each others company.

I do know what Faron means about what someone would have done with a man wearing an earring like my DH wears. It's too bad his area is too cold to attract diversity. I know many local farmers who have turned to organic farming thanks to the hippie invasion and an open mind.

When I met DH, he had hair own to his waist. Thick, wavy, sexy and he was beautiful. Earring and all. More important is his beautiful soul and how he treats the people in his life. After 29 yrs of marriage., I respect him and am proud to be his wife.

I think Faron is a push over. If he can look at high dollar heels and melt, he can tolerate more than he thinks he can. Meanwhile, let him have his opinion. We certainly have ours.

Insert (middle aged, slightly overweight soccer moms ) with earrings (turn my stomach) and see why its not so potentially light hearted.

I don't feel this way of course, which is in contrast to actually having that feeling, I am just pointing this out.

My mom didn't approve, but when I was 16 (back in the 70s) I had my ears pierced at a Piercing Pagoda at the local mall. I felt like such a rebel ;) When I lived in London in the mid-80s, I got a second piercing in one ear.

I don't personally find other piercings attractive except for a tiny diamond in the side of the nose. To me, that can be very pretty, depending on the person's style.

I wear earrings on and off, but notice that one ear keeps getting irritated regardless of the earrings. It's annoying because I never used to have a problem.

Lukkiirsh, that's still not an excuse for being rude. I'm not being defensive, just pointing out the obvious. Others seem to agree. One can be lighthearted without being rude and/or offensive.

My uncle (now a retired Navy Captain) married a woman from Guatemala and their children were born/raised all over the world. The girls had their ears pierced as infants. It's common in European cultures, and others. I didn't pierce my two girl's ears when they were infants for fear they would rip them out, or get ripped out by another child while playing.

I just think sometimes we are a little over sensitive and it ruins the thread for everyone else. We're all supposed to be friends here and you know Faron as well as anyone. He's just not like that so shake it off as a poor choice of words and move on.

So Faron gets to be totally rude an inappropriate and we have to just step back and say, "Oh, that's just how he is?" Then he gets called on it and we are the one's who get our hands slapped?

Nope, that doesn't fly with me, sorry. It ain't about defensiveness or sensitivities. It's about not being rude and inappropriate in the first place. Geez. . .

Kellyeng and others bothered by my post...

My sincere apologies if some took offense! I didn't realize my OPINION would hit that many nerves!
That's how the prevailing thought was for most of the area where I grew up:
* You opened the doors for Women...
* Didn't swear so anyone would hear you...
* Don't disrespect a Woman...
* Don't drink too much, get drunk, and embarrass yourself or family...
* Earrings were for WOMEN. Right or wrong, that's just the way it was.
* It's just MY PRIVATE view, and one stance I won't stray from.

Circumcision??!?!
YIKES! Never thought I'd hear that here!!
Right-or-no...it was done so "guys would look the same in the locker-room", and "for personal hygiene" was the prevailing thought for so long...

I DO see the point about doing "a procedure" when one is very young though!
In a way though....these are two very different discussions to me.

For something so EASILY VISIBLE and COSMETIC-ONLY as EARS however...I don't think infants should be put through something like that, even if it's "quick".
It MAY be something they don't want, and should have a choice in a "Vanity only" procedure.

Faron

Neither of my sons are circumcised. Locker room be damned. Now 24 and 28, there has been no complaints of bullying or regrets. Curcumcising for personal hygiene? I taught them how to keep themselves clean just like I taught my daughter personal hygiene.

Piercing an ear is nothing compared to curcumsicision.

Kelly, no offense intended, but you're often offended. That just doesn't fly that much anymore either, lighten up, we're talking piercings here, in the big scheme of things, it's really a non issue, not a big deal, means NOTHING.

Yeah, well, lukkiirish, to some of us blatant homophobia is repugnant and deserves to be called out. Read palimpsest's post and think about the message. Also, golddust, pardon me, but not *all* cold climates produce such narrow minds IMO (speaking, ahem, as a native of Northern New England).

sandyponder

Oh Sandy, leave it up to you to seek a hidden agenda. Somethings never change. It's just conversation and I doubt very seriously, opinions about piercings really matter. Go pick a fight somewhere else.

"I didn't pierce my two girl's ears when they were infants for fear they would rip them out, or get ripped out by another child while playing."

Yeah, there's difinitely potential for that. My cousin's ears were peirced when she was a baby and she ended up tearing them partially through when she was a little older. As a teen she talked about having that fixed.

As a kid I can remember my earring (and I only wore small studs) getting caught on my comforter at least twice and I had to drag the whole thing to my mom to help me. Thankfully mine never tore.

Of course, there's a chance of tearing at any age I suppose. I think later there's a greater risk of having them stretched from heavy earrings though.

I figured Faron was probably talking about an infants lack of choice in the decision making process.

I do like how peircings look on some men. DH couldn't pull the look off, has no desire to do so, and that's ok with me.

Crap sorry. *piercings*

{{gwi:1507791}}

touche'

That could apply to any of us at one time or another, depending on what our particular feelings are about the subject matter--it was a general comment.

Now, see, I interpreted Faron's vehemence to do with personal experience of growing up a sissy or gay or being perceived as a sissy or gay by someone, not that there is much difference between the two when you are growing up.

As for piercing ears in infants, the infant may be less likely to get an infection because they still carry maternal immunity.

Faron, you are right. Saying something DEROGATORY about someone on this forum or their loved ones is still just an OPINION.

Lukkiirish, I'M OFFENDED EASILY?? Really? You've had way more skirmishes on this board than I could dream of having. Please.

You are and always on the defensive. It doesn't matter if its Faron or anyone else here who said something about the piercings, it's a light topic and no one is out to office. As I said, we're all supposed to be friends here, so get the chip off your shoulder.

Ever heard the phrase, "choose your battles wisely?"

out to offend.

The infant won't remember the crunch either. :c)

While I do appreciate the stab at an apology, I still feel (yep, it's my opinion) it doesn't stand up as well when excuses (smoke and mirrors) follow.

* You opened the doors for Women...
* Didn't swear so anyone would hear you...
* Don't disrespect a Woman...
* Don't drink too much, get drunk, and embarrass yourself or family...
* Earrings were for WOMEN. Right or wrong, that's just the way it was.
* It's just MY PRIVATE view, and one stance I won't stray from.

I open the door for everyone - young, old, black, white, male, female, straight or gay.

I don't swear in public either - alone in the car doesn't count. ;)

I don't drink at all, so no problem not getting drunk. One can certainly embarrass themselves and/or their family without alcohol. I 99.9% sure I have never embarrassed my family - teenagers not included.

Times change, so do trends. Earring wearing is one of those trends that has changed and will continue to change along with hemlines and heel height.

These are my private views, and I most likely won't stray from them... but I also was raised, and practice daily to:

Treat others as you would like to be treated.
Never be rude.
Bite your tongue if you need to.
Protect your young/family - don't mess with Mama Bear.
Cherish your friends.

I have more, for example "Don't keep your finger on the trigger," but they don't really apply to this situation. ;D

And probably the best one for our day and time with texting, internet and emailing -

Never, ever put something in writing and hit enter without reading it twice. Somethings need to be canceled/deleted without saying. Once it's out there, it can't be taken back.

I seem to remember more offense being taken in discussions about where people hang their kid's school pictures and what that tends to say about socioeconomic cl---, shoes on/shoes off, etc., so it hardly has to do with the gravity of the initial questions. It's the Implication that sets people off--the implication that they might be part of the lesser group. And since there are no earring wearing sissies in here (they've all been drawn and quartered) it's all cool right? Got it.

Sheeessh!
I give up!!
I can't even apologize without someone twisting my reasons...and/or people reading other meanings
into my statements.

Like many of us, we're largely a product of our family upbringing and social-interactions/norms.

AGAIN...whether it's right-or-wrong...those were some of the social norms I experienced in my young-adult life. Many of these just tend to become "part of our mindset".

I'm also sorry for unintentionally steering this thread into a "no-fun" zone!!

Faron

UNBELIEVABLE!

Faron, any statement is going to be open to interpretation and since it isn't a face to face discussion, the personal interaction part of it is missing, which affects interpretation.

My interpretation of what you said was that maybe you had experienced some bullying and in your area something like an earring would be yet another cause for bullying so it was way outside of your norms. In contrast, many of the Bullies here have earrings...

As you said, "largely a product of upbringing"

I think many people are bullied at one time another for various reasons which are up to the bully themselves, not something that the victim of the bully does.

Gosh this was a busy place this weekend!

tina

I am not easily offended, and I don't think I have ever participated in any of the controversial or argumentative discussions here, but I have to admit I was taken aback by Faron's comment as well -- particularly because it was after I had said my son had his ear pierced (so maybe I took it a bit personally). I thought "men with earrings turn my stomach" just seemed kind of nasty. Now, that is just MY opinion but it seemed harsh.

My DH has his ear pierced as do both my sons. (no gauges). That said, I have offended people with my opinion of tattoos. While I like many people who have tattoos, I do not like tattoos.

There is no way to get this many people together and have us agree on everything. I appreciated Faron's honesty and did not take it personally. I think he would have a hard time disliking my DH, even thought he would loathe his earring. I'd bet he wouldnt even notice that earring after awhile. Kind of like me and tattoos. He admitted he has not been exposed and has adopted the mind set of his upbringing. I find his honesty refreshing, even if we disagree.

I don't have a dog in this fight, but I have to say, Faron has posted here a long time and I cannot remember him ever being nasty to someone. I think he does like all of us probably do at some time or other and spoke without thinking about what/how he was saying. Not to excuse anyone, but he did try to explain and apologize.

That said, Lukki, Allison and Kelly - I consider you friends. Lukki and I have had many discussions, I've *known* Allison for quite some time and have posted with her on other boards. Kelly I'm just getting to know but I like and respect all three of you! Disagreeing is one thing, and I think we understand what each of you are saying. If my mom were here she'd say "hug and make up"! LOL Okay, I'm trying to lighten things up. I don't like seeing my friends upset.

Goldie - you are one in a million and I want to be you when I grow up. LOL!!

tina

That is a good point, goldust, that we all like or dislike features ( clothing, hair, decorating styles, even character traits...) while still liking the person as a whole.

My goodness, I am so particular in my external likes and dislikes that I rarely find someone who has everything I like. But I have good friends and family whom I love very much. Even if I don't like their car or sofa!
Our youth pastor at church has plugs and his wife and he are both heavily tattooed but have hearts of gold. That other stuff is irrelevant.

I was not particularly offended by the post, that is too strong, but once the issue was raised I did illustrate how it could be taken negatively.

Golddust I understand where you are coming from but I am going to change the gender here one more time, and see what you think. I think because it is women reading it and his comment was about men you are all saying "oh big deal, lighten up"

***Please Note that I DO NOT Feel the way I am Saying, it is an ILLUSTRATION****
"[Men] with [earrings]
"[Women] with [tattoos] turn my stomach"

"A [man] with [earrings] would have been [drawn and quartered]...[sissy]
"A [woman] with [tattoos] would have been [sexually assaulted]...[s lut] was the word back then"

Do you understand if you put it in the context of Your Gender that it may not be a refreshing opinion?

I also understand that Faron apologized, sorta, --but I work with a community of patients part time who were serially beaten as children, raped, assaulted, and jailed because of perceived (or real) sexual or gender differences, and even in my small level of interaction with them I have to deal with the negative implications this has had on their lives, years later.

To draw and quarter someone BTW is to drag them by horse to a place of hanging, hang them till almost dead, disembowel them while alive and cut them into parts for display.
It's used as an expression now, but it was a brutal form of torture.

I don't see this as a fight, skirmish or anything more than someone probably having a bad day and taking something someone else said the wrong way.

I know I keep repeating myself here, but a lot of us have been interacting on this board together for a very long time and as such, we should be able to show a little tolerance if something isn't said just "so". We live all over the place and each demographic has it's own quirks. Yes, some are more diverse than others but that's always been my favorite part about the board (and internet in general). I can see those quirky differences through the people here without ever having to leave my house. Lynn gives us the flavor of New Mexico, Natal - Louisiana, SunnyCottage - Texas, Faron - North Dakota and the list could go on and on. I just think a little tolerance in the way something is conveyed is needed and to take offense over such a trivial thing is just plain silly.

This is the last I'll say about it.

I think Faron's point of view is so very different from mine that it's difficult to see from his perspective.

I also think that saying you don't like something - even saying that you hate something is no big deal. But when you use terms that are vitriolic (turn my stomach, sissy, revolting) that's where I draw the line. Obviously, he offended some of us and others not at all. Maybe it's just semantics and I suppose the world is in the eye of the beholder.

However, I'll take a cue from Palimpsest and give some examples of what might not be so tolerable: How would you feel if I said, "White cabinets are simply revolting!" Or maybe, "Teddy Bears in little boy's rooms are sissy!" Or how about, "Fiestaware turns my stomach!" I think a few of you would be highly offended.

So fine, Faron got to say exactly what he wanted and so did the rest of us. Even-Steven?

Please quote yourself with the above text next time you are tempted ride up the @-- of a few people in here that tend to stick their foot in it unintentionally. I won't name names, but I am sure everyone can.

Some people can't string a sentence together in here without getting ganged up on, and some people have license to say whatever they want, because "everyone knows that don't mean it that way". "Everyone" being whoever it is who decides to gang up on people or not.

I think everyone is entitled to an opinion, everyone in turn is entitled to have an opinion About that opinion, and Everyone should Know Better than to express certain opinions about certain things at all, in a forum like this--since it is Supposed to be Diverse.

That was meant for Lukki et al, not kellyeng who was posting at the same time as I.

I was trying to stay away from this thread, but I'd like to state that I was and am not having a bad day.

Kellyeng pretty much summed up my thoughts with...

"I also think that saying you don't like something - even saying that you hate something is no big deal. But when you use terms that are vitriolic (turn my stomach, sissy, revolting) that's where I draw the line. Obviously, he offended some of us and others not at all. Maybe it's just semantics and I suppose the world is in the eye of the beholder."

I'm not mad or upset, I simply stated the way his post made me feel. Past posts Pal mentioned above, along with this, persuaded me to ask Faron if he realized he offended groups with his comment.

I've always stayed out of tattoo threads, but like Pal mentioned, when I was young I thought a woman with a tattoo was a bit of a tr@mp. I have no idea why. But you know what, I grew up, got an education at school and in life - and my thoughts changed. Why? Because they were not correct. Having a tattoo does not a tr@mp make, and having an earring does not make a male a sissy. Geez, Harrison Ford has an ear pierced and he is hardly a sissy!

A person's upbringing/surroundings do not necessarily etch everything for the rest of their lives. I see that as an excuse. That's what growing up, and becoming an adult, is all about. Or should be about. I was raised in the south, in the 60s, but you won't hear me say (or think) "take the hose" to someone!

And for the record, the "draw and quarter" comment turned my stomach - severely.

I take Faron for whom he portrays himself to be. He likes high dollar fashion, Caddilacs and high end hotels in Hawaii. He likes his family and works hard. Live in a cold winter environment. I have few other impressions other than he is honest. I can deal with that.

Uffda!

I guess some of my phrasing in my 1st post on this thread WAS a little "dramatic", BUT....was sincerely meant tongue-in-cheek ONLY. Apparently, some readers take things waaaaayyy too literally, but that's their right.

I guess all I should've said was...."I don't like seeing earrings on Men". But even this could be picked-at by some. I highly doubt I'm the only person who feels this way about Males with earrings!!! I also realize it's probably more prevalent in the "over 40" crowd...;-)

>>> I wish there was an "emoticon" that could convey such on this forum!! C'mon....does anyone REALLY think I meant "drawn-&-qtrd." in a hurtful vein??!?!

Faron

Faron! I'm trying to defend you but my earringed DH is decades older than 40. I'd bet he is older than you, even.

Oh...forgot to mention-

Pal brought up the subject of possible bullying influences, if I'm reading him right....?!

Regardless...no, I wasn't bullied at all in school. Nor did I bully anybody else. Guess I was lucky in that respect!

(maybe being 6'2" & 240lbs. in HS helped some?!?! Sometimes ND has some big farmboys...;-))

Besides....my DF would've kicked-my-a$$ if I did something like that! Overall, I was a boring, straight-arrow farmboy!

Faron

My ears aren't pierced but I'd like to explain my wifes experience for many years ago. She had her ears pierced in 1974 at which time ear piercing was not very popular, she had been thinking about it for a while and around the time of her 16th birthday, her mum suggested that if she went and had her ears pierced, her mum, would buy her some earrings. That decided it so she went to the local jeweller in Greenford, West of London and had to make an appointment to go back the following week to be pierced, that seems so strange now with ear piercing being immediately available.
the man used a device called the Simplicity Ear Piercer which effectively pushed a needle through her lobes and then inserted hinged sleeper hoops into the holes. She had to keep the sleepers in for 6 weeks weeks turning them daily. After 6 weeks she took the sleepers out and tied to get in the earrings her mum had bought her. After half an hour of prodding and poking they would not go in and so she put the sleepers back for another two weeks and went and some some studs instead.
Fast forward nearly ten years and I asked her one night if she still had her sleepers - to which she said no as they had broken, but asked me why i liked them particularly. I said because wearing them would make her look like she had just had her ears pierced.
No more was said, and we went on holiday a few weeks later, having arrived at the resort she handed me a little brown envelope - and said 'present for you'. Inside was a new pair of hinged sleepers which she immediately let me put in her ears and wore them for the rest of the holiday. Wow.
I have asked on a few occasions if she thought about having her ears re-pierced but she always said no, one hole was enough. So I got some spring loaded silver hoops and one night when i put these on her she said she would have another hole done. So far still only the one hole, but she did wear the spring hoops in public the other week and did look so good.
Not sure where the earring/piercing fascination comes from as my mum did not have pierced ears and I did not have a sister, but just wanted to share this story

Self piercing earrings that had already been used a couple of times by my girlfriends. I was in junior high and my mom didn't know I was doing it. My friends older sister put them on and she put one of them on off center. It still doesn't look right today. Covered it with my long 60s hair so my mom wouldn't notice.

Hurt like the devil.

Here's a link describing the torture devices er self piercers.

Here is a link that might be useful: Link

Deleted-double post

This post was edited by red_lover on Sat, Sep 14, 13 at 11:17

Weird fetish PaulMac

My father wouldn't let me get my ears pierced until I was 18 (in 1970). So, I was actually a freshman in college when I had it done at a jewelry store in our local mall with that little gun. When one got infected, my aunt sent me to a little pharmacy to get some special salve to put on it....I still remember the little tin it came in but not the name. Fast forward 20 years or so when my daughter was in elementary school and wanted to have it done. I wasn't about to make her wait until she was 18 but I did make her wait a few months, just to be certain she really wanted it and wasn't doing it because her friends were doing it. We both wear earrings everyday.

Posted by terriks (My Page) on Sat, Sep 14, 13 at 13:37
Weird fetish PaulMac

Not so weird terricks, my wife likes me to squeeze her pierced hole and also to gently tug on her sleepers. Looking at other forums on the web, there are other husbands who like ear piercing. My wife says I could have stranger things to like, so we're both happy.

Yes - when I was 18.

I pierces my ears at 29, a year after I married a jeweler. I'm not an earring person so they have closed up by now, I'm certain. Too much hassle for me.