If your only contact with these college friends is through social media then it doesn't seem like they're close friends. If you never see them or don't stay in touch with personal phone calls then I wouldn't send a gift. Sending a card would be a nice gesture but I wouldn't feel compelled to include money or a gift.

I agree with Maire.
It amazes me to think there are so many like minded people. With such limited contact to they think you will actually attend or send a gift?

Sometimes I wonder if some of this doesn't have to do with getting more gifts, but rather the being afraid to offend anybody. So they just invite everybody instead knowing that people won't come, but don't want them to feel left out as it seems with social media circles are expanded much larger and then events are talked about.

I agree with lyfia, that at least often times it is a desire to not offend or to include. Even before social media, I remember when Dh and I were planning our wedding. His mother insisted on inviting relatives that my Dh had never even met. MIL thought it was important (she may not have even met some of them). I was thoroughly embarassed about the situation when we received a return post card from the widow of one of the relatives noting that her husband had been dead for a few years. Dreadfully tacky but ignorant on our part.

The etiquette of gift giving is that truly, it is always, always voluntary. Hence, from an strict etiquette standpoint, it can never be "wrong" to fail to give someone a gift.

Therefore, if you are not moved to give someone, anyone, a gift, you should not. And suffer no guilt from it.

If applying this makes you feel uneasy, then you should send a token gift and card.

The downside of social media! If it were me (and I have an invite for an out of state wedding myself), I would still feel compelled to send a gift. Perhaps a frame, candlesticks,serving bowl. Not expensive, just something.

I am adamant about this in my own life - chances are the bride and groom don't know you from a hole in the wall. Send regrets and nothing else.

Presumptuously, I have made it clear to my friends with kids of marrying age that I am not to be invited to the weddings of their children. I am quite happy to go to a shower but not to a wedding. My DH does not know their children so why should we go? When and if my children get married we will not be inviting friends. It isn't my wedding and we don't have the extra cash to pay for big weddings.

Blfenton, When Chelsea Clinton got married she had a no stranger rule. Only people she and her future husband personally knew could be invited.

I like that rule.

Thanks for all of your comments and perspectives. I am still mulling them over.