I have a couple of friends who just highlight the gray. Not themselves! Hair stylist does it. From what I understand, they only have to get it "touched up" maybe every 3-4 months? Whereas I, with my allover dye job, have to get it done every time I get my hair cut, which is about every 6 weeks.

What sueb20 says. I just get highlights every 3-4 months. My colourist uses 3 different colours and it just gives my hair definition, shine, interest and takes away that mousiness. It the job is well done the roots should not show but as they grow out they should just continue to blend.

Thanks! I have a hair appointment in a couple of weeks. I'll check into it.

I color my own hair. BECAUSE the few times I have let a professional do it - I came out with "shoe polish black" hair. Seriously. My hair is dark and grabs color. I cannot make a stylist see that. Until it's too late. I use dark blond or light brown on my hair which because it is lighter than my natural color - it's only the grey strands that pick up the color. Viola! Highlights!! You can use a semi permanent or permanent color - whichever works for you. A semi perm will fade off and you won't have roots.

tina

learn to love it, think of the freedom, the time and money you save. There seems to be a growing trend with women letting their hair go grey.

I have *natural* silver "highlights" with zero regrets! I am 51 and started greying in my twenties.

This post was edited by merrygardener on Tue, Apr 8, 14 at 18:14

This topic comes up often on GW. I get my hair colored every 6-7 weeks. I feel better with my hair colored. I do single process and natural highlight seems to emerge.

There are many women who do not color their hair and look great. But, when you are in your fifties and early sixties, gray hair ages you. I know it's probably just me, but coloring your hair in an appropriate color just looks more youthful.

I think when I am in my seventies, there will be plenty of time to go gray.

If you are happy when you look in the mirror that is all that counts. But, when you do color your hair and get loads of compliments, well all those people can't be wrong!

I occasionally use John Frieda shampoo which temporarily turns the grey to blonde. I think there is camomile in it. You might try that first before doing permanent color.

My hair *was* blonde, then darkened over the years and more and more grey showed up. I really have no idea what color to call it now but when I use that shampoo it has blonde highlights. It sun-bleaches in the summer which I like so the muddy blonde colored hairs become brighter and the grey doesn't show as much. I can no longer bother to do permanent color and I'm not going all over grey very fast.

I did my own color for years as it turned out better than when I had it done professionally. I used to use 1/2 package of a blond shade lighter than my natural color for the minimum time every 2 weeks over my entire head so never had dark roots. The roots were slightly darker but looked quite natural as there was no demarcation line.

About 50 years ago I turned my hair green also but that didn't deter me from coloring. Eventually I got it right by avoiding ash tones!

I have a really great hairdresser (thankfully!) who colors, highlights and lowlights my hair every 6-7 weeks to cover and blend in the gray I have in my light brown hair. Like Blfenton mentioned, my hair would also be very mousy without doing this. The gray does that to some people, and I'm one of them! I keep my hair longish, about 2" below my shoulders now and I love the way my hair looks and makes me feel.
Tina, OMG girl, that has to be so frustrating! I can see why you're goosey to let a hairdresser at it.
Lynn

I'm a redhead that instead of so much gray, my hair has darkened to the point it no longer looked even dark red. When I looked in the mirror I didn't see "me" anymore and was not happy.
Since I'm pretty much a naturalist, I didn't want to use harsh chemicals on my hair so I chose to use Henna.. It comes in many colors too. It's not a permanent dye so it slowly washes out. I use Light Mountain Natural. I used to get it at Whole Foods, but when I went to pick up another box last weekend I saw they changed brands. I'm going to have to find another source.

"But, when you are in your fifties and early sixties, gray hair ages you."

I have to disagree with the statement above. Grey/silver hair is natural to have in your fifties and sixties and doesnt make you look like you are in your seventies! Young looking hair color and mature face just doesnt look right. I have seen many women from behind thinking they were younger until they turned around. Colouring hair looks good on people under forty as grey hair is not natural at that age but after forty you arent fooling anyone by colouring your hair,but go for if it makes you feel better about yourself.

Rose, point well taken. Maybe it's also geographic. I don't have any friends (and only one coworker who was prematurely grey and just kept it) in my age group that doesn't color their hair.

No, you are not fooling anyone. It's obvious that you are coloring your hair, it's just a more youthful look.
I am assuming that you do not color your hair and have many friends who also do not. Correct?

I dont color my hair, but I have friends who still do and two friends who gave it up. My sister in law unfortunately has not given it up even though she has some sort of allergic reaction to the dye as she gets scabs on her scalp. I see women with thinning hair and sometimes wonder whether coloring has something to do with it.

If I'm remembering correctly - from past pix, Roseabby has beautiful silvery hair. She also has gorgeous skin and looks very youthful. (I hope I have the right person!!) However, I don't think everyone is so flattered by the color their hair turns. I'm 52 and just have a few strands of grey - most of my hair still is dark. Coloring it tones the grey down, as I mentioned, looks more like highlights. It's very natural looking and many people have no idea I color. I think 50's is a bit young for grey hair for most people. My husband is a little older than me and he still has more dark than grey hair. I definitely don't think most people are grey in their 40's.

If you use good products and take care of your hair - it will still look and be healthy. Hair color has come a long way. There are many that have oils, etc. added and condition your hair.

Many people are surprised by my age, so I'm thinking maybe my face isn't really "mature" looking yet. So why rush it with my hair LOL? Really it's a personal choice and what looks best on one person might not on another.

tina

I started turning gray in my 30's, so I have been coloring it ever since. At first I did it myself, and what a disaster that was. I look back at pictures from that era and cringe. I've been having my hair color done professionally for 30 years. Now that my hair is very gray, I am tempted to let it go natural, although going through the growing out process would be tough.

I say color it! However, be prepared for maintenance. I have my roots done every 6-7 weeks and highlights about three times a year. It runs into a lot of money, too, but I don't splurge on many things.

To me it falls into that area of personal grooming where everyone's threshold is different as to what they want to do and maintain. Even gray hair often needs coloring/glazes to get rid of dullness and all need good cuts to look the best.
As we age, what we do or don't do is very much part of our philosophy of life and what makes us happy.
Some people don't care that much about their appearance and that is fine too.
Personally, I do color my hair, but my fingernails are a nightmare. Clean and short is the best they will ever be and I try not to look nailless by letting my cuticles grow up and cover everything!

Also, various professions require a certain look, and for those, coloring is almost mandatory.

This post was edited by Bumblebeez on Thu, Apr 10, 14 at 11:41

well said bumblebeez - ditto on that.

Thanks Tina, I hope I am that person too!!

In regards to my post, I am just expressing my opinion, obviously everyone is entitled to do what they think is the best for themselves and as bumblebeez said it is a personal thing. I was responding to posters question as to whether she should color her hair or not. I think we women are our worst enemies!

Tina and Bumblebeez, I think you both are exactly right. And I fall in the camp with ellendi and lynn...I have been coloring my hair for quite a while. Ever since mine started getting that mousy dull look in my 40's. I too have a wonderful hairdresser (over 30 years I think now) and she does something similar to what Lynn's does every 6 weeks, whenever I get a haircut. I keep my hair about mid-neck length and my roots start showing, so I get it touched up and she pulls some color thru the other strands to blend in. My hair is naturally dark-ish brown with blond streaks in summer and an auburn hint if you look closely in the sun.

I think one's skin tone has a lot to do with whether you look good with silvery gray hair or not. And the tone of gray matters a lot obviously. My dear MIL had wonderful natural gray hair and DH has inherited that. He has great silver hair mixed with his dark brown. My Dad's hair was really dark, almost black and he had very distinguished silver sideburns. The silver I can see in mine might show up better if my natural hair was a bit darker. One day I'll find out. But right now I'm happy with my natural color hair and still youthful skin.

I hate to say it but I don't see many women that have great gray hair.

Last summer I met up with some gals that I attended high school with back in 1968. Some of us color, some don't. When I showed a photo of the group to other friends that don't know the classmates, they all thought those who don't color looked a lot older then those that do. A LOT.

So, if you don't mind looking older don't worry about coloring. I know I shouldn't mind what everyone else thinks, but I do. Shallow as I am, if I look the best I can, I do feel better about myself.

ML

I think the choice depends on your maintenance tolerance. At 36, I am more than half gray so I color but I really hate it. I do it myself but if I could afford it, I would have it done professionally every 6 weeks with every other appointment having highlights put in. One thing I have become more vigilant about in the last year or so is wearing a hat when gardening in the summer to keep the color from bleaching out.

tina, my mother's hair does the same thing. It really grabs the color but even with lightest browns but it grabs the color unevenly so she ends up with a lot of blotches. She finally found a good colorist who can handle the hair but it costs her a pretty penny.

Tish - that would be awful. My hair doesn't do the splotches, thank goodness. It does fine if I use a light color. I'm happy I can do my own! Even my hair stylist says I do a good job. Most people probably wouldn't know my hair is colored, or would think it's highlighted. LOL

tina

I think outside brought up a key point. A huge factor in how graying hair looks is what is the base color. I am salt and pepper and get stopped often by people complimenting me on my hair. Others with a lighter base don't look as striking. I apologize to my DD with medium brown hair that she will have years of hair dyeing in her future!

Skin tone is also a big factor in how flattering gray will be. It works better if you have "cool" coloring.

I started going gray in my 20s and colored my hair for about 4 years before deciding it wasn't for me. The upkeep was too much with my fast growing hair and the dye also changed the texture in a way I didn't care for.

I'm now 43 and get frequent compliments on my hair. Maybe it ages me, maybe not.

You look terrific Cozy! In my opinion here's why: 1. You are very attractive and would look good no matter what. 2. The way your hair naturally waves is great and 3.The grey goes with your eyes and skin tone.
At this time though you still have a mixture of grey and brownish blond.
I think key to keeping the grey is a good youthful haircut.

You look great cozy! it doesnt age you. You look like you are a young person who has grayed prematurely. What ages someone imo is wrinkly skin not gray hair.

I agree Allendi. My hair has a ton of gray in it and has for several years. I'm only 45 but my gray is not a nice gray. My hair is much darker than Cozy, but it's not black. So I wouldn't have the salt and pepper look nor is my hair light enough that the gray sort of blends in nicely. For years, I've gotten highlights in the winter to continue the natural highlights I get in the summer but now that I have so much gray, I have to color my hair every six weeks.

As to not fooling anyone after you turn 40â¦.I'm not trying to fool anyone. i'm just trying to look my best. But I also think that gray hair *can* age you, depending on many factors that have already been mentioned here. And as the mom of a 9 y/o, I already sometimes feel "old" compared to some of her friend's mothers who are still in the mid-late 30s. I certainly don't want to be that mom who looks like my kids' grandmother.

My mother, who is 73, still colors her hair. I don't think she's trying to fool anyone. However, she never had "nice" gray - and she also has terrible hair to boot. She keeps it a light brown color that matches her complexion well. MIL, OTOH, has beautiful gray hair at 78. She's had gray hair for the 20 years I've known her. It's always looked good but she has nice thick curly hair.

I have a great aunt whose hair went white in her 40s - she never dyed it. And though her face matched her age, the hair definitely aged her, especially at first glance. She was happy with her appearance and that's all that matters but not everyone can pull it off.

Cozy your hair is gorgeous and looks great on you!

Cozy, you're really a high schooler and that's baby powder, isn't it? ;)

This is one area where Live and Let Live is certainly the best approach. I won't judge anyone for their choice; please don't judge me for mine.

I have extremely pale skin, and very dark hair.

If I didn't color/highlight/lowlight, I would look much older and frankly, kind of sickly. Same thing with makeup. I look much, much better with a little makeup.

DH bemoans the cost. I tell him too bad. And that at least I don't conceal from him how much it is.

I fully expect to color until I retire. Then I would consider letting it go. But until then I consider it part of looking professional and up to date in the workplace.

If I worked in a different field, or weren't in sales, I might feel differently. But I liken it to DH wearing nice suits for his work.

I get cut and color about every 7 weeks.

I think we all agree to each their own but I must comment on your statement above ....."But until then I consider it part of looking professional and up to date in the workplace."

You are implying that someone that does not color their hair does not look professional and is outdated looking That is simply not true and is a judgmental statement.

I just got my hair cut and colored yesterday. My husband encourages me to go to an exclusive salon!

My DH has had grey hair for years. He commented on a neighbor's mom who had gone all grey after being a blond. He said," why did she stop coloring her hair, she looks soooo much older now!" I said" hey what about you?!" For some reason though men can carry off the look more than most women.

I agree with Julie. In some work places you need to have a youthful looking edge, from coloring your hair to being fit and stylish.
Years ago when I was interviewing for a SW job right out of grad school, I was interviewd by the director who was prematurely gray. I then met her assistant for the second go round. She too, was prematurely grey. I did not get the job, but realized that it's not only your credentials but how you look and if that look fits into the overall look in the office.

I think if you look in the mirror and are happy with what you see, go for it!

What I find interesting too, is the flip side. How much do you care about other people's opinions? My SIL colors her hair but hasn't changed her hair style in over thirty years. We were once talking about hair and she said how she likes her hair style! So of course I said nothing.

I have to admit that I like when I get compliments on my hair or outfits.

When I was younger did highlights, then decided I didn't like having so many different colors. It looked nice, got a lot of compliments, but just did not look natural.

Was in same situation, decided I'd try all over color and if I didn't like it - I'd just live with the grey.

Now I do an all over color, after trying 3 different mixes, the color matches my hair exactly, so I don't see roots when it grows out - just some grey. I color 2-3 times a year.

IMO there are many factors that play into how 'old' one may look other than hair color. General health, condition of skin, how one moves, clothing style, and most of all attitude toward life and how happy one is. I've known people who went steel grey before they were 30 and still looked young. I know women over 70 who color their hair and look even older than their chronological age. Best to be very honest with oneself as to how old one really looks and not depend on hair color as the only criteria.

I quit coloring when I became a GM for the first time as I felt coloring was an unhealthy thing to do and wanted to live to see that adorable baby grow up! I was also looking for a different look which played a large part in my decision. That was 14 years ago but the good intentions on coloring didn't last long as I hated my natural hair color so started coloring again. After a few more years and more GC I've again quit coloring and am comfortable with it now, altho do love when my hair naturally lightens with the sun in the summer. It seems most people believe I am younger than I am. I've looked younger than my age for decades. Even my Dr. tells me that altho since they see so many people who are sick and look older than their years that may not mean a lot! I know I don't have as many wrinkles as many of my friends, even the younger ones, and have little sagging in my throat area due to care of that area.

Roseabbey,
Of course you are right, that it's not an all or nothing decision.

One can dress professionally, be well groomed, fit, and up to date with technology.

And not color one's hair.

But for me, I prefer to look as up to date as I can, and that includes coloring my hair. If I were in a different profession I might feel differently.

And maybe it's just for me and would make no difference to others.

But I feel it improves my job success, and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.

I started getting white hair while I was in high school. By the time I was in my mid thirties I had more white hair than brown and the mix wasn't attractive. I've been coloring my hair ever since.

My hairdresser tells me that I'm lucky that my fair skin tone and blue eyes (think Irish) would look fine with white hair. However I'm not ready to look like Barbara Bush the Elder and I've been completely white since I was 50.

I visit my hairdresser every 3 weeks for coloring. It's not a question of trying to fool anyone, I just can't stand having white roots! I could probably stretch it to 4 weeks if I had a different hair style. I also like the fact that the color adds some body to my fine, limp hair.

Not everyone in their 50's have gray hair. I'm 58 and maybe 10% gray, mostly it's hidden. My brother is 61 and just has a little gray at his temples, but he colors his beard because it's pure white.

I know a woman who is 75 and naturally has less gray than I do.

I'm 52 and have been graying since my late twenties. At this point, I'd be pretty much white , which would probably look good with my coloring - fair/ruddy complexion with hazel eyes, from my Swedish background. But I'm just not ready to go there, especially having recently reinvented myself in a new career, where I'm competing against folks half my age.

I played around with hair color constantly when I was younger, so I still think of it more as fun way to change my look vs. covering gray. My natural color was ash brown, but as I got older I colored my hair in warm dark blond tones. Then last year I decided to go red and suddenly got tons of complements. My brother wore a beard when he was younger and it always grew in red, so I think I can say I come by red honestly ;) Last week a store clerk made a comment about how much she loved my hair and couldn't believe it wasn't my natural color. So I'm sticking with it for the time being.

I have several friends who are totally gray, with chic short hair cuts. They have great skin, and look fantastic. On the other hand, another friend is a mousey gray with a very aging haircut. I think a lot depends on how it's styled.

Although I hate the time and expense of having my hair colored every 4 weeks, I am certain that I will continue until I retire. At 60 I am not ready to go gray. My hairdresser tells me I'd be all gray on the top of my head and partially gray throughout the rest.

I am 62 and only have about three grey hairs. I would love to have more. Sigh. My dad never went totally grey (sideburns yes, and beard that showed if he didn't shave, but that was it).

Would also love those thick curls that Cozy has-thin and straight here. Sigh again.

Thanks everyone :)

I'll get flamed for this perhaps, but I've always felt going gray successfully for me requires one major necessity: being slim. also, no large wattle or excessive wrinkles. Think the Obamacare ex: Ms. Sebelious. (Sp.?)
I am tempted, but will not until i return to my former slim self. Working on that now.fingers crossed! Better get over to the healthy check-in post. :)
Marti

Thin women generally look good, but it's all about the amount of hair, the hair color, and the skin color. If she gained 100 pounds, she would still look good with gray hair.

I agree with graywings about the weight.

One thing I think is a must when someone has gray hair is makeup....minimum at least lipstick. As our skin fades and hair grays we need that touch of color.

My daily makeup routine whether I go or not is mascara, blush and rose color lipstick.

I can't remember when I started going gray but it was in my early 50's. I am 63 now. I love it ! I knew I was going to have the same wings of contrast as my Mom had because the natural highlights of gray/dark started right from the beginning. Her hair was completely white/gray when she passed at 88 and my Dad's was also at 92. Mine keeps getting more and more gray in the front but I love the contrast with my tan and blue eyes. I have never added color.

I don't wear makeup at all as I SWEAT way too much and am out there on my bike or swimming or running LOL. Would be a mess. On a rare occasion I do put on mascara...waterproof :)

I get a "buzz" cut with the #2 blade right before I leave on a cycling tour. I got one right after this pic was made so this shows my hair when it is long..for me anyway. I will get one the end of May before DH and I leave on our next tour in Europe. Since we will be gone 2 1/2 months I will have some interesting experiences to report as far as haircuts in France and the Netherlands . I get it cut every 3-4 weeks here at home .

I think the main theme that has come out in this thread is "to each her own". What works for one woman definitely won't work for all. We are all so different and our hair and lifestyle reflect it. It is wonderful that there are so many options . And after all..it IS only hair. It grows back.