I think that some never cared all that much about "looking good". I do not find the female form in its natural no makeup, no tweezing, no dyes state to be offensive or even unappealing. Some people apparently do. I don't like women judging each other based on their appearance and that has been the sub-text of this thread. If you don't do X,Y,Z you are not trying and are not looking "good".

sweeby, along the lines of what you said, when I was in high school I heard "Your eyes are who you are, your mouth is who you become." I like that.

Let me just say that a little make-up goes a long way to changing one's appearance.

True story:
I answered the door one day to a service person and my hair wasn't done, I had no make-up on and I was wearing a robe/housecoat. We spoke for about 10 minutes-face to face.

I went inside and put some make-up on, teased and combed my hair and changed into some slacks and a decent blouse and added some large hoop earrings.

30 minutes later I went to the door again to speak with this same person and he looked right at me and asked to speak with the older woman he had intitally spoken with. He didn't even realize I was one and the same.

I'm 69 1/2 years old, could lose 20 (okay,30) pounds and I'm short, but I think I'm holding my own these days. I don't do anything to impress others. It just makes me feel good when I look in the mirror and find I haven't disappeared.

Should I be considered vain and shallow because I do this? I don't think so.

I just returned from a visit home for a funeral, which was, despite the sad circumstances, a nice opportunity to reconnect with extended family. One woman there, my aunt's aunt, was 87 years old, and looked about 68. She still lives in her own home, drives everywhere, etc. She had beautiful posture, was about a size 6, and was beautifully dressed both times I saw her, in classic, well-fitting clothes -kind of Jones of NY looking. Then I met her daughter, who I assumed was about 10-15 years younger than me, which would have put her about 40-43 -turns out she is 68!!!! But here's the thing: as amazing as these women were, the real surprise was in talking to them. Both were so vivacious and full of life, positive, fun people. Truly an inspiration.

Mona, I agree about makeup. As we age our lips lose color, eyelashes thin and point straight out, and we do acquire uneven skin tones.

Of all the older women I've seen IRL who I find striking, they all have makeup on.

I won't leave the house without pressed powder! lol

Terriks, it's the unfair judging of others that some of us find superficial. Do men do that to each other or is it exclusively a female thing? I've never understood it.

I have to disagree about how much time it takes to look well groomed. See my response on the exercise thread about how my time is spent. But on days I'm working or even days I'm home (but not doing yard work), I do my hair, make-up and dress. It's part of a daily routine, I don't do a ton of make-up and don't have to spend alot of time on my hair, so I have it all down pat and it only takes a bit of time. However, even on days I work, I don't "dress to the nines", thankfully a college campus is fairly relaxed. I also like to make the effort for my husband.

Natal, I get what you are saying, but don't you think you are judging here also? You've decided what you think about some because you think they are superficial. On the tread where we posted our pix - it was about Hillary Clinton. You made a comment about how she was so much more than we could hope to be - wasn't that judging? You only know about us what is presented here. You said most were not brave enough to post our picture - but many did. Why even take part in this thread? I don't want an argument, but I really don't get it.

tina

For younger looking hands use a paraffin wax bath every night. About 5 minutes for each hand.

I don't think it will get rid of dark spots but your skin will be soft and smooth like you were still in your 20's. My daughter noticed that when I was doing that my hands looked younger than hers.

When I get my teeth cleaned at the dentist's they do a paraffin wax treatment. It does feel really good.

Natal, I'm going to chose to think of you as the misunderstood cranky person who does not have a handle on expressing their inner light. You are probably "the rock" sort in emergency situations and keep everything together. And, there is no doubt you are highly intelligent.
I'm going to think of you in this way to get past your slight bullying. Anyone who showers and brushes their hair cares at least a little about their appearance. If I didn't wash, wear deodorant or brush my teeth and greeted you with dragon breath and strong BO would you still love me for my inner beauty and give me a great big hug? Let's assume you know I have running water and a place to live. Don't you think you might judge me a tiny bit? I think a lot of us on these discussions are around about the same age give or take 5 or ten years but some more or less, we are all maybe adjusting to changing body shapes or needing to change a style or are interested in others beauty secrets, sometimes due to our age or having children or we just want to share.

If you really did not care you would not keep coming to the party. So, I think you should just fess up.

Jterrilynn, obviously I hit a nerve. I tend to look at people with a different eye. Maybe it's because I've seen people struggle with various disorders that aren't easily hidden. It makes me sick that some people judge them unfairly. That's what comes to mind when threads like this turn from their original intent.

And Tina, no, the comment about Hillary was fact. She IS so much more than most of us could ever hope to be. To judge her by her hairstyle or the clothes she wears is belittling, not to mention extremely catty.

Men don't do it ... why do women?

I worked on a college campus for five years, and yes, it's much more laid back.

But I'm not talking about how long it takes to get ready to go somewhere.

No Natal you didn't touch a nerve with me at all. I just feel bad for you that you are mixing up what you think is the title of this post. The title is not "Let's judge people with physical deformities" its "What makes women look good when they are older." And by the way, men do judge appearances and they gossip. I bet there are few women here that haven't caught their husband eves drooping on a gossip phone call (but that is another topic). I don't agree that we should all become so politically correct that it causes non-physically deformed persons to be discriminated against if they want to share what they think will help us look our best.

I saw another well put together older woman yesterday and considered what she had in common with the other one I saw at the airport. She was also thin, maybe a little makeup but it was mInimal. She had on a western style straw hat so couldn't tell much about her hair. She was wearing skinny capris and a tailored bright green shirt. She had a couple pieces of interesting tasteful jewelry. I was at an event where there was a lot of people watching. I do think good posture and a figure that is well proportioned - by that I mean shoulders and upper body are not dwarfed by the mid section. Posture can also impact that.

I really try not to pass judgment on people. Everyone makes their own choices in life. I do like to take care of myself and as I've gotten into my 50's I've become more conscious of how people age. I'd like to be physically active as long as I can and at least right now I also expect not to just "let myself go" appearance wise. If there are things I can do that will help improve my quality of life as I get older I might want to try do do them.

I love these threads about looking good! Of course, I see people around who over-due it, but I fall into the catagory of not. Even though, I have had my lips "done" (very litte) I have not had anything else. I haven't had breast augmentation, like most of my friends have, but honestly, there is only one of my friends that you could even tell she did.

I have to be honest and say, that I love dressing up, and dress up more for myself and for my girlfriends. My husband doesn't care that much. It is fun, and something we all enjoy. I have one friend who is a big lobbyist in OKC, so you can have political interest and still care about how you look. Doesn't mean she is less of a "woman" because she looks good and cares. Of course, she dresses appropriately for that venue.

I do think first impressions are important, and one I instill in my son, also. He ALWAYS goes to school with his hair done (he is use to it, been spraying his hair down with water in the morning and then gel since he was two) and good clothes. I think he is perceived by his peers and teachers of a kid that has it together, and they expect more from him, for it. Anyway, that is my perception, and it has worked so far. I know plenty will disagree with that.

Oakley you commented your friend "has the time", that's why I commented on how long it takes. So, not sure what you meant.

Natal, thanks for clarifying. Yes, women can be quite vicious towards each other. I don't get that from either of these threads. I don't remember what I said on the Hilary thread, but I do not care for her hair. It's not flattering at all and she's had some great styles before. That said, I'm able to differentiate between her hairstyle and her as a person. Her hairstyle (or our comments on said hairstyle) are not a reflection on Hilary as a person! She has done much good, but I'm afraid I don't share your opinion re her and others. But, that's another thread for another day.

tina

A good hair style (colored or not), being thin and fit, dressing nicely and having colorful accessories are what I notice on most women my age (58) who I think "look good".

Genes play a role for sure, but never underestimate the importance of lifestyle and the choices we make. Sun=bad for skin. Sex=good for skin and for mood! Food choices can make a tremendous difference in staying lean as we age. Exercise (for me) is a critical component of staying flexible and being able to lead an acive lifestyle.

We just got back from a week in California. Oh, what a wonderful place to be a people watcher! I saw some women on Rodeo Drive who didn't look like that had any of their original parts! Some could barely walk in their skinny high heels, and to me, they looked ridiculous for even trying!

At a tasting room at a vineyard in Napa I struck up a conversation with a terrific looking older woman. She had braces on her teeth (I'm in the dental field) so that was my opening line. In the course of conversation she told me she's 65. She looked amazing and was so fun and energetic.
Confidence is a big part of what allows women to grow old gracefully.

I suppose it also has a lot to do with what you consider looking 'good'.

My good friend and coworker is a laid back, Northern California Coastal self-described 'hippy chick'. She's not a great beauty, but she oozes that self-confidence that makes her look great. She dresses casually, does nothing special with her hair or makeup, but does keep it neat. Now, we have another gal who works at our Department in another division, hers is strictly administrative, and she goes the whole nine-yards...well coiffed, trendy hair; impeccable make up, nails and clothes out of a catalogue. She is the same age as the two of us but looks so much older! I think it's because she just looks so uptight and worried about getting a speck of lint on her.

My friends and I are very laid back (plus we work in jobs where dirt is practically mandatory!) but I think my pals look good for our age.

As far as not judging others, like Tina said, I too can differentiate between a woman's brains and her hairstyle.
However, I am also very much aware that I am judged by how I look- like it or not- so I play the game. I prefer the corresponding treatment I receive rather than being ignored.
I also like having men (my dh in particular) notice me, and if I did nothing, nothing is what I would get in return.

To me, smart women use All their tools, not just a few- with good conscience, of course!

Beautiful inside and out......

Here is a link that might be useful: So beautiful

I love Jane Goodall! She is my hair model for older years.

That pic of Jane is breathtaking! Thanks, Bestyears. Reminds me of those wonderful Dorothea Lange photographs.

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg is my "Senior" beauty icon! I just think she's marvelous; smart as a whip, feisty, and so chic!

She's more proof positive that we can look great and be sharp as a tack simultaneously...at any age!

Here is a link that might be useful: Ruthie

I just love Jane Goodall, what a life well-lived... I've read everything she's written, and most of what has been written about her. It is on my bucket list to see her in person one day.

I think women who age and keep their white hair are fascinating. Of course it helps if your hair is think and white. Still, I'm in awe of women that can pull it off in a stylish manner. I guess it appeals to me because in this day an age I think it shows a bit of inner rebel to buck the system and it just oozes with self confidence.

Opps not think and white... THICK and white!

"A woman can never be too thin or too rich." And that's the truth, ain't it?

Mainly, it seems perspective plays a large role. We tend to retain our personal sense of style and comfort zone from our teens through the rest of our lives. As we age, we refine our taste and style to the current trend and fashion. If we don't, we look out-of-style and frumpy, or like we are trying to look young, even if it was perfect for us when we really were younger.

And most young professional (or otherwise) women would automatically look older and perhaps stuffy if they wore the type and style of clothing,
Makeup, hair, accessories that look good on older women.

i think contentedness with one's life shines through on an older person's face... and all the makeup in the world won't make an unhappy person look good!
that said, i can't yet imagine the day when i stop dyeing my hair and wearing some daily makeup!!! i hope to stay fit for a long time to come too because being unfit is tremendously aging!

allison--i don't know if there's really anything to do for hands-- pretty much all genes there i think! but, are gloves 'sortof' coming back in fashion??? if not, then you could always make them your 'signature'!

I think that my grandmother was always beautiful. Here is a picture of her before she passed away at age 95 (I deleted my darling neice out of the picture)

Luckily I took after her in the hair department - she had a beautiful head of thick silvery gray hair.

Two more older women who look great, I think, are Barbra Streisand and Leslie Stahl.

I also think Jane Goodall looks and is wonderful!

and I love the pic of your grandma, terriks.

Terri - that is such a sweet picture. We just celebrated my grandmother's 95th on 4/15. She is beautiful to me and has been such an influence, all of my life.

Thin and rich? I'll agree with busybee and take fit/healthy and happy. . .

Of course, tinam, but not one of the posted pics or women named in this thread, including terriks lovely grandmother, is anything but thin and fit, and most appear to have plenty of money. Heavy, poorer women can certainly look good and be happy.

I should have attributed the quote to the thin, rich Wallis Simpson. Sorry about that.

This thread had absolutely nothing to do with judging others, until those who chose to view our words in the most negative light possible attempted to turn it around that way. I see this discussion as nothing more than a lighthearted flip through a fashion magazine. A sharing of beauty tips. An appreciation of certain ideals that appeal visually to most. Good grief, if we have to feel bad about that kind of discussion, I don't know what this place has become. I for one refuse to be bullied into believing that this thread is anything other than good-natured and innocent.

Terriks, your grandmother was a beauty! And jterrilyn, those photos you posted are fabulous. My mother resembles Judi Dench, so I have a special fondness for that silver fox. :-)

Oprah, Carrie Fisher, Adele, and Barbra Streisand are beautiful but not thin. (granted, they're all rich!)

btw, I hated what they did to Adele on that Vogue cover- left her large chest but airbrushed her waist away to nothing.

Also, I think that if a woman is thin to the point of anorexia that it's not beautiful- it's an illness and starvation is definitely not beautiful.

My grandma was quite a beauty (inside and out). I have this picture of her at about age 20 in my bedroom:

No problem Sherrmann. My grandmother is not thin, in fact, she's a tad bit plumpish, but not really heavy. She's still beautiful to me. She also has that snow white hair.

I love Emmy Lou's silver hair!

Nancybee - I love Adele and think she is gorgeous!!! I could listen to her all day.

I do have to admit the women whom I do a doubletake with are thin, but not too skinny, and I'm assuming many had botox done, but like I said, that's fine by me.

Their clothes are on the expensive side & well tailored.

I do think it's the way we were raised. But that's from a personal observation from people I actually know.

While all the women above are nice looking, they're doing a photo shoot, so of course they look great.

Every now and then I come across pictures of actresses without their makeup on, and boy do they look scary! It IS amazing what good makeup can do for you.

Terriks, your grandma is a beauty! I guess it runs in your family:)

Nancybee, I so agree with the too thin and mentioned it above. I'm worried about my friend who is too thin and am sure she has some sort of eating disorder. A few of us got together for her birthday and she made a big show of eating a large order of French fries. I think she is doing all sorts of things to prove that she doesn't have an eating disorder. A few more things I noticed is that she is telling people her weight when they don't ask and is adding at least ten or fifteen pounds. She also has a rehearsed speech if anyone mentions that she maybe getting to thin, her speech is all about sugar diabetes when you age. More telling is her teeth, in the short time she has been starving herself her teeth have gotten very scary looking. If she gets any thinner I'm going to talk to her daughter as my friend will not listen to friends.

Terri - another beautiful picture of your grandmother!!

Jterrilynn - I agree, sometimes too thin makes you wonder if someone is ill.

I agree the celebs above are all attractive, but love the pics of our own "real-life" beauties.

I was in a store the other day and noticed a middle aged woman across the store and did a double take when I realized I was looking in a mirror and it was ME! It was one of those days when I hadn't really paid too much attention to how I looked before I ran out the door. Good Lord, it was scary. I'm finally coming to the conclusion that if I don't want to have that drab, washed-out look (which is my default look, apparently), I need an extra few minutes in the morning with a little eye makeup and just a dab of lipstick. I really hate wearing lipstick, but I know it makes a huge difference in my appearance. My lips have almost no color -- apparently that happens when you get old!

Sue, I like this NYC lipstain in Neverending Nude. It gives my lips a natural look and you don't feel it at all.

I feel your pain Sue (I'm loving this thread more and more LOL). I am fair with dark hair and dark eyes. My lips have always been pale. I can still hear my mother telling me to "put some lipstick on"!!! It finally sunk in. I love lip glosses. Terriks - I'm going to have to try one of those lipstains!

tina

jterri, I think it's a good idea to talk to her daughter. I had this and the thing that finally made me get treatment was that I couldn't stand the thought that I was scaring my family.

I have a picture from when I was this way and I looked terrible and much older than I do now. But I thought I looked good! But far worse than that is that it's so unhealthy and it can kill you.

jt...that is a worrisome description you give of your friend. The combination of eating the french fries and then describing how thin she is and the condition of her teeth leads me to think that she is purging by vomiting, known as bulimia.The stomach acids eat away the enamel on the teeth. It is very very common.

I ran with a friend that did it. I finally confronted him after hearing him in the bathroom. We would eat lunch and he would have all of this stuff that one wouldn't think a runner would eat. Then he would always have a reason for going to the bathroom. i followed him and listened. So sad. He also would stop by the trail to supposedly urinate but he was actually vomiting the snacks/lunch we had eaten. He was able to finally get it under control. As an aside he is a clinical psychologist Phd.

My DD had a friend in high school who also purged. Her Mom found glass jars of vomit in the girl's closet. Really really sad. The Mom is an MD and did seek help but it was very hard for this gal to accept help. She had to go away to a facility in order to get well.

The disorder is extremely addicting and consequently very hard to get over. Here is a link. c

Here is a link that might be useful: bulimia and famous people

I didn't make myself throw up but I agree with trail that the condition of her teeth might mean she is- it can be very dangerous, even one episode can dangerously unbalance your electrolytes.

Trail, I thought of you when I posted the pictures of women with pretty white hair.

Ugg, I started gagging at the thought of jars of vomit... ewww, I think my yogurt is going to come up:(
I'm pretty sure my friend's extreme skinny is due to her recent divorce and before that the pending divorce. She is also a very smart lady who is a retired professional with a masters degree. She has talked of what a failure with men she feels she is, and this was her fourth divorce. I know she has been looking for a therapist to deal with that. Her daughter is on my facebook friends list so I think I'll keep an eye out for when she's on next and message her.

Nancy, thank you so much for sharing! I'm so glad you are doing well now.

jt..it keeps getting whiter :) Thank you for the lovely compliment. I hope that I can look as wonderful as my Mom did when she was 88. She was beautiful when she was young and aged wonderfully. So many of the examples given here are to be admired.

Your friend sounds as if she needs some serious help to gain control of her life. A friend like you is something to be cherished. In reading about eating disorders a common thread is seeking control when it is missing in the rest of a person's life. Your friends' perceived failure at marriage has perhaps led her to see herself in a way that is so distorted and will probably require a fair amount of therapy. I hope she is able to get what she needs.

Nancy I am glad that you are doing well. I didn't see your previous comments about an eating disorder. You are correct in saying that the imbalance in electrolytes is extremely dangerous. c

Trailrunner, I also thought of you when I looked at the
beauties with the silver gray/white hair. I would love
it if my hair could be like that along with the texture
it seems you have. My second choice would to have hair
like "TheFoxesPad" aka ttodd...love curly hair which is
why I used to get perms back in the day!

irish...thank you ! That is very sweet of you. My hair is VERY thick and coarse. I have to have it cut every 3 weeks and thinned. It is a bucket of hair ! I LOVE Foxes hair . She has it so nicely done. c

To find out what makes an older woman (or man) look good, google on "Maia Helles"!