With my siblings and Mum, we are very sporadic about gifts. Most years we skip the gift part of Xmas, and birthday gifts are experiences (restaurant meal, a performance) or let me give you the money to pay for (whatever) that you just bought yourself.

With my husband, we both buy what we need or want when we need it so we don't give each other gifts.

With my in-laws, I have to provide a written list of what I might want. They rarely purchase from the list so I don't know why it's required. Since I refuse to play the game anymore, my husband provides a list of ideas for gift cards (restaurants, gas cards) for both of us. My husband dislikes the gift exchanging, although he's actually quite good at it, but he doesn't fight it because it's important to his mother and sister. Xmas is now basically an exchange of gift cards, occasionally for the exact same thing.

My longest term BFF doesn't like to exchange gifts so we don't - perfect! We usually treat the other to dinner. My 2nd longest BFF is a gift giver; I give her kids money and something I think she and her husband would want.

I don't routinely exchange gifts with anyone else. Once in awhile I'll get or give a gift to another friend. The best gift I ever received was when my husband was sick and a friend would drop off wonderful salads for me. I would come home from being at the hospital all day and she'd stop by with it, all freshly made with interesting ingredients. It was nourishing to my body and soul.

Yes, it certainly is fair game to examine our own gift-giving!

For hostess or housewarming gifts (which is the category of gifts that presents the biggest incoming "problem" for me), I try to give something that will die or digest. I don't want anyone to feel obligated to use or display something they may not want.

If I think about it, the only other people I would give gifts to are nieces and nephews (all young adults), my sister, and people that have babies or weddings (hopefully not in that order).

And in all of those cases I have the same theme. At the heart of the gift, is always either something they have registered for, or money. Overlaying that gift, is something small that makes it personal; at least that is my hope. Say a really special, artisanal card (I collect them, and buy many when I travel, too), and a small personal gift.

Recently, for example,for a wedding, we bought 4 china place settings (five of us attended) shipped from the vendor and, then i followed that up by sending her a great card and a pretty hot pink leather passport case (pink is her favorite color and they were travelling internationally for their honeymoon).

For a niece who had a baby, I sent her a check, a 529 college savings plan pamphlet, and the small, personal gift was three board books selected by my kids based on their favorites.

This way, i get to express myself a little, but in a way that is so inexpensive no one need feel beholden.

I try to listen carefully to what my friends and family say throughout the year in casual conversation and choose gifts accordingly.

For people that I don't know well, I choose generic consumable gifts. I figure if the recipient can't use the item, they can always re-gift it.

I exchange gifts with 3 girlfriends for birthdays and Christmas. One of these friends and I decided to nix the gifts for Christmas and instead, we find a concert or play we'd like to see and have a night out with show and dinner. Sometimes it takes months to find the right thing -- last year we had our "Christmas date" in June in Newport RI. With the others, as Fun said, I try to pay attention when a friend says "I am into scarves this year" or "I've been looking for pink earrings."

I also have a group of 4 friends, we go out to dinner about every 2 months, and for Christmas we do an inexpensive gift exchange (under $20) and the theme is: something you've found in the past year that you think is great. So you're giving the same gift to 3 people, which makes it easy. Last year, one gift was a little light-up keychain that a friend found in the Paris airport shop, one was a fancy tea, one was a personalized notepad, and one was a book on meditation. I love this little tradition.

But for men, I'm almost always stumped -- even my own DH.

I agree, Sueb20, that buying men gifts is difficult, especially since most of the men in my life have no hobbies. Thank goodness for Apple. They now receive whatever the latest device is with a gift receipt so they can return or exchange it.

I do the same as Fun2B, I listen throughout the year for things that they mention in conversation. I have a list for each person in my family, hubby, kids, mom, MIL, that I might need to buy for. If anyone says "Oh, I'd really like/need â¦. " It doesn't matter to me what they say, be it new leather gloves or an electric knife, it goes on the list. I at least know they want it. :)

My parents and inlaws ask for lists. Of course listmaking is a delicate endeavor...can't look too greedy and I try to put stuff on that I know they like to shop for!

My inlaws NEVER provide a list or a hint in return. They're well established so I don't think they want anything. And, well, it's REALLY HARD to shop for people who don't want anything! They host a lot and have lots of friends who give them really nice decorative items so I hate to overload them with those. If we give them a restaurant gift certificate, it often comes back to us in a year (overtly, like, "Oh we never used this, why don't you guys go out for a nice meal?").

This Christmas I took a chance and gave them each a custom framed assortment of photographs from a recent cruise we all took together. For her - orchids. For him - city scenes. Made sure their son took at least half of the pictures so the family angle was there. The gift broke ALL my rules: too big to hide away, too personal to regift, can't be returned, has to be hung on the wall. That said - it was a huge hit and by far the best reception ever. So I might have to stick my neck out more often.

Other well established people - what kinds of presents would you like from your family?