Take a deep breath and exhale.

Try to remember that this too shall pass.

Try to remove yourself from the events....these events go on, but you can be the calm amidst the storm and you can choose how to react to these events.

Try to focus on the task at hand...not the stuff that's already happened and the stuff yet to come. Small bites are always easier to swallow than big ones.

Depends. I'm an analyzer and usually feel better taking a proactive stance so will ask myself: Is there some action I can take to minimize one or more things that are overwhelming me? If yes, then I try to rally the resources to do that or the support I need to accomplish it myself. If not, then I use my support network to vent and share in activities that take my mind off things and/or release stress - physical activity, mindless entertainment.

I just keep moving ahead knowing overwhelm will end in time. I pretend it's Olympic training and in the end IâÂÂll get a personal reward from myself for accomplishment.

I look it square in the eye. Fo me it's an acknowledgment that tumultuous events are occurring, they can't be denied, but I can choose a response. If I'm careful without reacting too quickly, whelm doesn't engulf me and I can manage it. It is a fine line, however, between avoidance and being prudent. One foot in front the other, sometimes with a limp, sometimes a skip. No heavy baggage either way as that stops momentum.

Great question, snookums. How do you deal with it?

I am a person who must see results to be satisfied. So for that to happen, I have to prioritize, write lists, and just push thru it knowing that it IS going to get through. I've been through enough tough times to know that for a fact!

It'd not easy when you feel like there is just too much to do and not enough time, money, whatever to get through it. So you have to remember to make sure that you are taking care of yourself first-hard as that can be. So learn to say no to the things you don't rank as a high enough priority. People may be disappointed, but they'll get over it. Don't spread yourself too thin.

Every single day. What used to be a fairly stress free life changed forever with just one diagnosis and as a care taker being overwhelmed is just part of the territory. I have to agree that all of the advise provided can help to minimize that feeling. Prioritizing and focusing on one thing at a time is very important and helpful. You have to understand and accept that everything can't and won't be done as quickly as you may want. Breath, take moments for yourself and if all else fails there is always chocolate or Xanax! lol

Delegate!

I deal with this pretty much every day lately. On top of what I was doing normally, I had to take over a class for a colleague who was hospitalized, and she will probably not be back full-time for the semester. Some days I just have to cry it out. But I do get regular exericise (I figure I'm behind anyways but important for stress management), eat healthy, and get regular sleep. Yes, I will have a glass of wine{{gwi:807}} or beer, but I can't drink too much either. DH has had to do a lot of the grocery shopping and weekend things around the house. I've utilized grad students and colleagues when I can.

At least with the academic calender, there is an end. I am counting the days. The next 2-3 weeks for me are going to be horrible schedule-wise.

Plus, our 15-year-old cat who has a lot of health problems, is probably getting to the end of his life. He has been so stable for so long and has outlived expectations, but the last few weeks he seems to be getting increasingly frail.

{{!gwi}}

This post was edited by gsciencechick on Thu, Feb 28, 13 at 9:43

I try to keep the focus on myself and things that are within my control. I pray the Serenity Prayer. I try to get outside, walk, breathe, eat healthfully, get a massage, whatever I need to do to practice self care.

Hi Snookums! Each & every one of these replies offers wisdom & valuable insight.

I would add--be present to the moment as it is unfolding. You can respond to whatever is happening in "this" moment...it's thinking about the next four hours (or weeks or months) that often results in stress.

Also, it's not the content of the moment that stresses us, but the stories we tell ourselves about it. Stick to the facts. "It is raining" is a fact. "It's a mess out there! What a nasty day!" is a stress-inducing story about that fact. Stay in the moment with what is really happening. Don't layer on negative thoughts about it.

Also, the beautiful notion of "you can be the calm amidst the storm" is inspiring. Realize that if you are like most of us, many baby steps of present moment awareness lead to that degree of equanimity. We seldom can make such a leap all at once. I add this caveat as it is not helpful to beat ourselves up if we do feel fear during the storm or anger or whatever. Accept whatever unacceptance arises. That "acceptance of your unacceptance" is a "yes" to life...however it is showing up. A "yes" is a loving response, and loving is always healing, while what we resist, persists.

As Annie stated, "This too shall pass" is quite helpful to remember. This bit of wisdom has become so ubiquitous that we barely hear it when it is spoken....but listen to the Truth of impermance. What I take away from that Truth is whatever I am feeling...boredom, anger, frustration, sadness...does indeed pass. Test this for yourself.

Be gentle with yourself. Stay in the moment. Let the stories go.

I recently posted this on my facebook page:

Fear is not fact.

Reading an article about a young woman who has a rare and untreatable cancer and what she's learned about life by coping with her illness. One of her points is that fear is not fact. We can create monsters in our mind that can paralyze us from taking action we should or force us into taking actions we shouldn't, all out of fear. But fear is not reality. Instead by facing into our fears and peeling them away to get to the actual facts, we can whittle them down to size and make appropriate decisions, take appropriate action, and reduce our stress and anxiety levels.

Fear is not fact.

SG, AD have it right. Our moment is now in the concrete and in the abstract sense. Can one really not be always transitional? That's why most baggage is useless though many stay with the idea of its necessity. Fear is useless though many are deadened by it. Paradoxically, some baggage is helpful to inform but need not determine. Some fear protects when understood. Rightmindedness gets one through everything. Always! (((all)))

The trick is to explore rightmindedness and union with the whole.

Clean out a closet, talk to my sister or pray in my room by myself.

When my daughters are overwhelmed they work out. They swear by it.

Snookums-if you are overwhelmed...hoping things are better.

Snookums, you already took the first step, you shared it with someone and that's so healthy. What I do is say to myself "I will give myself 15 minutes every three hours to think about this" and then I stick to it. Amazingly it really works. You know you can hold off as you're going to get relief at the third hour. Sounds silly but it works.

Get 8 hours of sleep. Some nights I have to go to bed at 9 so I can get my sleep.

Take it one day at a time. But it really depends on what is overwhelming you. If it's something bad then find one person you can share your worrie's with.

I agree about "fear" but fear of the unknown is extremely overwhelming and hard to get rid of because you know it could be a lose-lose situation.

But plenty of sleep helps you see things clearer than you normally would.

"Every" decision we make, big & small, in every moment, is driven by either love or fear. When we are aligned with love, with our true self, (with source) whatever action we take will assist & support us & the greater good in some way.

When something we are facing feels scary- we can feel like we're tossing a coin up in the air! We don't know which way it will land. The ego is deeply concerned things will turn out badly. The ego considers the worst case scenarios and fears the worst. It attaches a story to what's going on: "My life is going downhill."

But no situation in life is like a coin that is tossed in the air; it just feels like that to the ego. A coin has only two sides--one considered good and one considered bad. From the standpoint of our True Self, whatever is happening is just as it is meant to be. In other words, the flip of the coin always ends up in your favor. That is actually the truth about life- it doesn't have two sides: It is neither good nor bad, but just what it is. And it is always a mixture of what the ego would consider good and bad. One way life "is" often like a coin tossed is in its unpredictability. We just don't have to be afraid of how it will land.

Something very wise is behind every experience that feels like a coin toss. We may not be aware of it, but we can trust that it will bring us the experience we need. And if we don't layer on worries, fears, judgments, resistance, or other negativity on to the experience, we will discover that it serves our growth and evolution toward becoming a more loving and wiser human being.

Life is wise. Challenges are natural and necessary. When we trust and listen to the wisdom that we "are" instead of to the false self that we are not, we find that any change or challenge can be navigated gracefully and without too much suffering.

Some people find a pity party helpful....take a few minutes to feel sorry for yourself...let the pity wash over you, and then let it go and be done with it.

A lot depends on what the causes of overwhelm are...if it's things that are temporary then you just need to find a way to hang on and get through....if it's things that need to get done, then make a plan on how to do them and then start executing the plan...if it's emotional things then taking time for yourself to process them is important...if it's long term stressors that lead to deep unhappiness, then it may be a signal that it's time to make a major change....

What a truly helpful and inspiring bunch! I'm not in the overwhelmed stage right now, but I feel better anyways just reading the replies. :))). Women and wisdom...it is true that those two go together so well!

Stinkey said something that hit home for me, as I am trying to make this my mantra for the year and beyond:

"I would add--be present to the moment as it is unfolding. You can respond to whatever is happening in "this" moment...it's thinking about the next four hours (or weeks or months) that often results in stress."

So true. I can get paralyized sometimes just thinking of the what ifs instead of focusing on what is! Take care snookums.

Thanks for sharing that, Anitamo. Well said: "I can get paralyized sometimes just thinking of the what ifs instead of focusing on what is!" You describe the result of our conditioning, our programming, quite beautifully. It's liberating to learn we can go about things differently!

Whatever we focus on we will experience more of. Focus creates habits and habits create more of the same type experience. This is not good or bad- (well, the knowing of it is quite good!). It's just the way life works. There is no judgment nor condemnation nor congratulations. It's just cause and effect.

Knowing this however, is power. Watch what you think about. Watch how you feel in your experience. Not to judge-- but to understand how energy, through focus, creates experience.

Snookums, I may be wandering off into the weeds here...not addressing your particular concerns at all. Hope all is well with you.

I am at a loss for words but very grateful for the wisdom, experience, insights and kindness each of you has taken the time to share. Thank you for an invaluable collection of thoughts and positive energy.

Yes, Stinky, we either choose to act out of love or fear, and it requires vigilance to mend the rift as it seems there are countless opportunities to build a better world. When we realign with Source, our true self, we can appreciate the miracles unfolding each moment and be more peaceful.

Snookums, glad you're relaxing into the positive energy being sent your way. There is a minor article on NPR on this subject today. Perspective is helpful. Be well.

Here is a link that might be useful: NPR 3/1/13 Overwhelmed?

Over the past few months I have been dealing with crises that I would never have imagined, nor thought I could survive. The philosophy that has helped is that somedays I live minute. by. minute. Some days I live hour. by. hour. Sometimes I live day. by. day. In the end, a strong faith, strong relationships, and knowing when to accept help have all contributed to my survival.

Abundant,
I liked that NPR piece, too. I am definitely overwhelmed by the "New Perfectionism".

I know that being so manic about trying to be Perfect is not healthy. And so I need to work on it. : )

So that I can be more perfect ...

Snookums,
I haven't read all of the replies, but I don't think that I have seen the reply that first popped in to my head when I saw this thread, which is "What's wrong?"

I don't know if it would help to share, either to find out you are not alone or even for advice. Just a thought.

I haven't posted to this as yet because I didn't think I was in a position to give advice.. I have been overwhelmed myself at times these last few years. But then I read Mtnrd's post and realized that the single best thing I could say is.. you aren't alone. The only wisdom I have to share is don't hesitate to reach out and let those close to you know when you need support or help. It's very hard for me to ask for help or admit when I feel weak or broken. I don't necessarily dump on my friends and family but sometimes just talking to them reminds me that I am strong and capable and that I *will* get through this.. because *they* are strong and capable and have gotten through their stuff.

Last thought: take a hot bath, take a walk, listen to music, do whatever allows you to unwind-- just do be sure to take time to relax and gather your thoughts. Sometimes that time to ourselves feels too indulgent when we are dealing with lots.. but that time is essential to rebuilding our strength, perspective and resolve.

Be well.. and be good to yourself, Snookums.

Mtnrd,
I know that being so manic about trying to be Perfect is not healthy. And so I need to work on it. : )

So that I can be more perfect ...

Cracked me up...like the time someone called me on it when I mentioned that I was trying to control myself for being such a control freak!

I enjoy much of what is presented on NPR, & I love Abundantblessings, but that article was like Greek to me....didn't click at all! Probably that's how many here feel about what "I" write...there's a disconnect.

Hi SG, the piece was just to provide another perspective. I actually quibbled with many lines but saw it as MtnRd: the "New Perfectionism" that so many attempt is hard on the psyche and unattainable. Worse, it takes attention away from seeking union/being "essence". Maybe that helps with the disconnect. Besides, as you noted not everyone connects with the same style or even approach, so when I saw the topic I shared in case it resonates with others.

Like AD, I also cracked up reading MtnRd's humor and clearly remembered doing so with AD's control post which I understood to be tongue in cheek. Or so I hope!

Hi AB! It's fine, sweetie. I don't relate to the perils inherent to the "New Perfectionism" the old perfectionism, or anything the article was driving at. Felt a big, "What?" after reading it. But you were swell to link it, AB. It clearly resonated with at least two people...& more than likely, many more. Oneness manifests through great diversity in this physical world!

Unfortunately, the article didn't speak to me either as it didn't deal with real problems only perceived ones.
I think Snookums, you need to find others who are going through what you are going through. It will help to talk it out and not feel alone.

Here's my favorite quote of the day:

"The Happiest of people don't have the best of everything, They make the best of everything they have."

This applies to not just things but life situations, everything really.

But aren't even our real problems affected by our perceptions of them? And when we change our perceptions of them, do they not also change?

My takeaway from the article is to parse what's happening now to make sure you focus on what's really important to you and what you can affect and save the rest for another time.

Maybe, but the article dealt with daily frustrations, yes they are problems but if you ever have real problems: losing your home (maybe being homeless), divorce, substance addiction, disease, medical trauma, losing pets/ family, bankruptcy, rape, physical/sexual abuse, sinkholes, fire, .....the big problems, LOL! Sometimes they come in droves too and are indeed overwhelming.

Not only is the weight of a "problem" in the eye of the beholder, defining anything as a "problem" is simply a mental construction. People who have gone through "horrific" events often walk away from them concluding, "That's life. This "too," this heartbreaking occurence, is just as much a part of the fabric of human existence as a joyous walk through a sunny park. It "all" belongs." Or, yes, we can certainly choose to call anything that is not to our liking, a "problem."

As per "control," my sense is that control isn't the root issue, it's a byproduct born of misunderstanding - a standard egoic problem. The driving need for control is of divine origin. It stems from the essential urge to create in this human/physical environment. It devolves into control because the ego-mind has no sense of its divine essence. Misunderstanding creative energy's true nature the ego attempts to control, or create, an environment to its (the ego's) liking based on its sense of fear and separateness.

As one's consciousness is awakened out of the egoic perspective, the need for control abates and becomes more in line with its original purpose - to create in terms of harmony and an understanding of oneness. Control transforms into creative evolution. But to get the most for our creative efforts, alignment with Source is most beneficial. (Of course in ages past, this translated into throwing some virgins into the volcano...)

Bumblebeez is right about how causes of stress are different to get rid of. The reason I advised trying to get 8 hours of sleep is because it helps, even just a tiny bit.

I was in an overwhelming situation once where life seemed hopeless. No advice could help me even though it looks good on "paper."

There are times when something bad happens and it stays in our minds 24/7 because it won't go away. The bad is still happening, even as we sleep. There are no words of comfort or how to deal during those times, unless you know someone in the exact same situation you're in.

I have a feeling that S.'s situation won't quickly roll off the shoulder, or be able to compartmentalize (sp).

Hang in there Snookums. Hugs.

I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. How did the topic get bumped up? And it title shows there's a picture in it but there isn't.

But I'm glad it did get bumped up. Snookums, how are you doing?

It got bumped as someone was posting spam....which apparently has since been removed.

Okay, Oakley. Thanks for asking. Trying to stay focused and take care of one thing at a time. Well, mostly!

Eating better. Getting enough sleep does make a big difference! I am always so thankful when I am able to really sleep!

Thanks, Annie. Snookums, when I feel down and out, for some reason it makes it easier to sleep, and when I do get a good night's sleep, I feel much better.

Right now I'm sleep deprived because my internal alarm clock has been going off at 4am. If I took naps it would help.

If it's too much to do, I make a list and prioritize. Concentrating on, and then finishing, one task at a time gives me a sense of control and accomplishment, which then calms me down. Otherwise, my mind is racing with anxiety. Sometimes, I try to set a time limit, too.

If it's emotional, exercise. But sometimes, I really have to push myself. Once I do, huge relief.

Whatever your situation, I wish you well. I've come to really respect you, Snookums, given your admirable posts.