I'm going to make this short and sweet. Yes, I think you should do it - you wouldn't have put it out there if you didn't want to be nudged, although I do understand the hesitation. Be bold! And I'd go one further..... in your 'invitation groupings' ask that people bring one friend with them that you don't know. Then, not only are you creating a gathering with people of various spheres in your life but you would be meeting new people who just might have winning personalities to match yours !! I love the idea.

That's an interesting idea - I hope you do it. I have a friend who occasionally plans game nights to increase her socialization opportunities, especially in the winter when people tend to stay home more. Soup is perfect too - easy to serve, easy to keep warm, a no fuss yet satisfying meal.

We don't have children so we don't have that "auto-pilot" aspect of socializing that comes with getting involved with parents of their friends and school and sports activities and such. We are no longer working either. So if I don't make an effort, I have no social life. Especially since most of my friends are still working and don't have the time available to plan things, it's up to me to get 'er done. DH is a very social guy, but he's also a home body in a rut deeper than the grand canyon, so if I don't push to do things, then nothing would happen. Sometimes it just seems like a lot of work and effort, but the payoff is having and keeping people in our lives whose company we enjoy, and it gives me an opportunity to play in the kitchen with recipes and such that I'd never otherwise try.

You might also consider social activities that are more scheduled such as joining a book club...they usually rotate meeting sites so your turn would be scheduled in, but the social opportunities would be more than just having it all fall on you.

That sounds good, if you want to take the leap to host it. Of course, for me that means making sure the house is clean, I have the time to cook, etc.

I have a women's community group, and I really try to stay involved with them, but it is hard during the school semesters. I am also going to aim to do more with the car club this year. I have really dropped off with that, and I almost feel like a part of myself is lost because I don't do the things I used to do. It's hard, we both work long hours, and I teach a night class on Monday nights. It's about all I can do to keep my exercise routine and cook dinner.

Yes. I think it's a great plan and I double dare you to do it!

While a nice idea, do you have the time to commit to this?

Just saying that times have changed. Would "show up for pizza and salad at X restaurant second Tuesday of the month at 7" be more realistic?

I love the idea! Please, if you do it, let us know how it's working out.

There's nothing to lose, so why not? I'm a big believer in doing things that push me ever so slightly in new and exciting directions as I'm my worst enemy.

The house doesn't have to be immaculate nor does the food need to be gourmet.

Is this the one where they hosted in their garage? Why I remember this, I don't know!
Although it seems casual, you would have to know who to expect and cook accordingly.
I think you like the idea of a casual get together to remain connected, but all the details can be overwhelming. How many dinners would you have to do to include all the different groups?
I think that you are right to make more of an effort. But, sometimes friendships run their course. For example, were you only friends because your kids were best friends in high school?
You might have to think about who is really want to keep in your life to make things more manageable.

dlm/marie, thank you - I need a nudge (actually a shove is more what I need). Your reasons for suggesting the friends of friends is valid, but for me, I have a huge circle of friends/acquaintances, I just need to make the effort to connect more often.

Annie, your description of your DH fits my DH exactly. He will happily socialize, but only if I arrange it. I like the idea of the clubs.

gsciencechick, the clean house thing has definitely stopped me from having people over - esp. since I've been back to work. I think I just have to let it go and decide that it doesn't matter if my shelves are dusty/bathroom isn't spotless. My DH and I are teachers too and that is a big part of the issue - we have no time! Then when we have holidays, the priority is to spend time with each other and the kids (and sleep!)

Julie, we have done the restaurant thing (very occasionally) and do enjoy it, it does limit the interaction that you have with people - seating and also how many you can invite.

mlweaving and goldust, thanks for the vote of confidence - if I pull it off, I will definitely post back.

So if I do go for it, would you do it on a Friday after work or Saturday? Friday after work everyone is exhausted, but might be nice to go somewhere to relax and have a ready made meal - wouldn't stay too late. Saturday is more of a party. I'd have more time to prepare (and freak out). Hmmm, I'll have to think about options.

I think it sounds terrific, and the New Year is a perfect time to start. There are more people in the "I know I should really get out there and socialize" camp than you realize I think. So many of us stay in when we don't feel like getting dressed up, spending lots of money, etc. And yet when we do, we have a great time, and come home thinking, "We should do that more often." Your idea is so easy and casual, I think people would really enjoy it and look forward to it.

Daisychain, I would think Friday would be more casual and offer up more reasons not to obsess. We have a Friday evening potluck on the mariners deck at the marina we're currently living in, and it's a great way for the boaters living aboard and the people living in the condo's associated with the marina to connect in a casual way.
If you did Fridays no one would expect to find your house immaculate and it likely wouldn't go too late. You could make soup on the Sunday before or any day during the week, and heat it up on Friday. People could come after work if you made it a 6:00 thing, and it would save them having to make dinner too. Along with invites invite them to bring a bottle of wine or beverage of their choice, and maybe state that you're making soup and would love to share, and when they come maybe they could bring a baguette or cookies or whatever they please to share too. I find that everyone usually asks what they can bring, but if you state it right up front it takes the invite to the point of a casual potluck kind of event. At the marina no one tries to coordinate, and funnily enough we almost always end up with about an equal amount of appetizer, veg and dessert. Everyone brings their own meat to grill. Point being, you wouldn't need to coordinate what people bring, let them choose. Some weeks you might end up with 4 baguettes and only one plate of cookies, but my guess is it would work itself out.

If you did it Saturdays you would have all day to clean the house, obsess about what to make and make it....IOW it could conceivably take over your free time and become less about socializing and more about "entertaining".
Just my thoughts.

Soup night sounds great, but I would start with just one. If you choose to combine groups, that might work or just pick one group with which to do a soup night. Otherwise, chances are you will overwhelm yourself (three groups=three weekends each month if you do it the way you described). For me, that would be way too much. I wouldn't want to commit to hosting a large group of friends and making a huge batch of soup three out of four weekends a month! I sort of think you are adding too much all at once. If you try to do it so that you are hosting a soup night for one group one month, another group the next month and so on, that could work, but wouldn't be the regular get-together you seem to wanting and people wouldn't see it as something to count on every first Friday or whatever.

Yes, socialize more, but don't set yourself up for failure because you have expanded the idea too much and just created lots of extra work for yourself!

Well, you got me thinking about it some more. Really, in our house all I would need is the kitchen, LR, and bathroom clean. All the rest I could close the doors, LOL.

Maybe do every other week?

Just thought I'd throw out a twist on your idea that worked for me and my husband. I belonged to an organized group of stay at home moms for several years and as our kids were starting to age out of preschool, a bunch of us decided to branch out and we began a "dinner club" which included husbands -- most of whom had not met. We had no idea how long it would go on, but 7 couples got together one night at someone's house for a potluck dinner. That was about 13 years ago and we are still doing it. The husbands have all gotten to be great friends and we women were already friends to begin with, but we have almost become like a big crazy family now. I only see some of these people when we have our dinners, but others I see more frequently. We rotate houses and the host makes the main course, others make sides and desserts, and we almost always have a theme. It's been great fun. We try to meet every two months but usually it ends up about every 2-3 months. One couple even moved to China for 2 years and joined right back in with us when they returned!

I like the soup on Fridays idea... If it were me, though, I'd be worried that I'd make 10 gallons of soup and no one would show up!

Do it! My husband is the social one in our house, so he plans things all the time it seems. Sometimes I'm not too happy about it, but we always end up having fun and I've never regretted doing them.
Soup is also a great idea. I have been doing this for quite a few years for trick or treat. Soup can stay on the stove or in a crockpot all evening so it makes serving so easy.
You always hear how busy everyone is, but I've been surprised many times how many people are really looking for something to do with nice people. People are always so appreciative when we plan something.

If you make a soup that can be frozen, like chili, then you can beautifully freeze what isn't eaten.

That article about the soup supper rings a bell. I read that and thought it was a great idea and still do. How easy to do. Try it first with the group you are most comfortable with.

Like SueB, my husband and I have been in a "gourmet" dinner group for a long time (30 years!) We rotate homes, which now involves travel. Through death and divorce and other life changes, we continue to hang tight. We bring more people into our circle as we grow/change.

Working full-time can be so demanding that you can sometimes forget the fun side of life. We were invited to a New Years Eve party here in town. I came home tired and really did not feel like going, but all I can say is "wow"-sure glad I did. I reconnected with some people in town and met new people.

I find that people are just happy to get out and be at someone's home, and that the food matters less than the opportunity to chat. We have simplified our casual large social gatherings to wine and cheese. People seem to enjoy it, and they tend to reciprocate because it's easy and not intimidating. Casual and relaxing is what people want.

Try it and see how it goes after one or two. You may find that others will chip in and offer to rotate. Either way, you will make an attempt that will surely reap some rewards.

I think it's a great idea...you are talking about rotating one group each month, right? So theoretically you'd have soup night for the neighbors every three months?

My wanting to have people over really waned when I started working full time.....the thoughts of spending one full weekend day cleaning and cooking just seemed like another work day. And a lot of friendships fizzled as the kids grew up and moms went back to work. We don't socialize much now but hope to get more involved when we retire.

Yes! Just one a month - I wish I had energy for one a week, but I know it would not be realistic.

Thanks everyone for your ideas and support. I love hearing about the supper clubs. A good friends parents have also done it for decades and it seems like one of those things that make a life special.

In other news it is -38 with the windchill (only -20 without) and we just went out to build a fire in the chimnea and roasted marshmallows and burned half the christmas tree. We didn't last long, but it was good to get out. And guess what? We saw 4-5 of our neighbours. It is so cold here that spontaneous socializing does not happen for many months of the year. So this was kind of cool (no pun intended :)

What a great idea. I think Friday would work best too as friends could stop by on their way home from work. Everyone is tired by the end of the week and their not having to think of or make something when they get home would make your get together more welcoming.
My laptop battery is fading so I stopped reading a ways up so not sure anyone suggested making up most of the soup the night before and putting it in a large crock pot (or two or three if you need to because of number of guests) the morning of the party. You can also set everything up the night before so you won't have much to do when you get home before your guests arrive.

Love then idea, but whenever I've considered a soup or chili get-together I'm
stumped by the logistics. I 'd want it to resemble a casual cocktail party: no formal seating, but how to arrange that for soup? Pretty tricky balancing soup bowl, bread, on a plate or tray. Is your soup night to be more like a dinner party with table seating? Would love to hear from those of you who've experienced this type to gathering.
Marti

Just slipping into end of holiday blues and thinking joaniepoanie's version of life rings true. Maybe it is time to let socializing wane a bit and stop fighting it. Maybe it's just the time of life we are at - and we can pick it up again when we retire. When we were younger and kids were younger it seemed so important. Maybe I need to sit down and reevaluate who I really want in my life and just include those folks, rather than trying to be the glue that holds many diverse social grps together. Sigh. Should have taken time to figure this out at the beginning of holidays rather than the end. Now it feels like procrastinating. We did have 2 couples and their families over last night and it was nice - I even made myself leave the cleaning (I did tidy, but didn't do my usual frenetic 'whole house must be clean before a party' routine). We do have a long weekend from school at the end of January - I will consider that and let you know what happens. January is such a bleak month for socializing. I'm sure people would be thrilled to get out. Thanks again for ideas everyone and for being a social group I can belong to without any headaches or stress :-)

Martina, we often serve soup as an option at large parties and because DH is such a great cook, especially his soups, they get eaten right up. These are always "standup" parties of 40 or more people. We do allow people to eat anywhere in the house, so there is seating and most people will take a bowl and go somewhere. It works well because our parties, much like the soup group idea above, are "drop in" parties so you don't have a million people needing to sit all at once.

However if this is a "dinner is served at xyz" time, that would make it more difficult if you invite more people than you have places to sit....

I would offer the OP the advice of having deep bowls if you are doing soup night because if one is not at a table, it is hazardous to try to balance a shallow bowl of soup standing or sitting where you aren't at a dinner table. I would also suggest you consider thicker soups such as chili, navy bean or a thick split pea. Thin stock is drippy and sloppy when eating or carrying a plate to a location where as the above don't tend to slosh around much.

I read the first post and laughed though....our neighborhood has a soup group that meets every month or two. They've invited us twice and made it clear that we are not to bring our child (no biggie as we don't mind an adult party...we have them too) nor is there any wine served AND the kicker, we are supposed to bring dog food. Seems that this one house is saving up for an emergency to supply the neighborhood if the world ends and we are the only standing neighborhood. Since that hasn't happened and their dog is very fat...I'm thinking they're using the dog food for personal supply verses emergency LOL

They're also terribly old fuddy duddies and add rules like "no heels" in the invites...which is a bit of a turn off for me. If you start with "bring dog food and don't wear shoes" you're likely not to get many takers heh heh

We have a wine cellar...if the world ends, booze is always an easy trade so we figure the dog will make out fine :)