Keep your menu simple. You dont have to make 100 things. I really dont like to make and freeze things ahead. I feel like im serving leftovers. Heres my plan:

Turkey- I get a turkey breast(boneless with skin on if i can find it, a whole breast if i cant) Noone in my family really like the dark meat, and it takes less time to cook. Season it the night before and put it in the pan in the fridge so you can just throw it in the oven. I like a herb butter under and on the skin, salt on pepper. Easy and yummy.

Sides-Mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes, two veggies and rolls, maybe some mac and cheese, thats it. The rolls are the only thing i like to make the day before. I make them with frozen bread dough,bake then the day before keep them sealed in plastic bags, and throw them in the oven for 5 minutes or so to warm them before dinner. I make the mac and cheese, dressing, sweet potatoes , peel the potatoes,and start the veggies the morning of. I put the dressing in along with the turkey. For sweet potatoes, a casserole works best. About 20 minutes before the turkey comes out, turn on the potatoes to cook.You can keep the mashed potatoes warm by putting them in a glass bowl over simmering water (thank you ina garten for that tip) so no need to wait until the last minute to make them. When the turkey is resting, i put the mac and cheese and sweet potato casserole in the oven to warm through, and finish the side veggies. Throw the bread in for five minutes or so, make the gravy.

Dessert: Your guests will want to help. I personally HATE people in my kitchen while im cooking, and i hate making desserts. When they offer to bring something, ask them to bring dessert. You can never have to many desserts, and most people will be relieved to just go pick up a pie and a tub of cool whip. Its easy, it includes them and you dont have to make pie crust.

Table: This depends on my guests. If i have a group coming that can find entertainment among each others company, i set it completly the night before. If i have family or friends who HAVE to do SOMETHING and insist on coming in the kitchen to stir things, open the oven, taste test, add stuff to whatever is in sight, i put the tablecloth and flowers on the night before, and have THEM set it.

Everything else:
-Only invite people you really love, even if they stir things and open the oven.
-Have a tv and movies ready in a seperate room from the main entertaining area for any little ones. Despite the fact that their parents would rather their five year olds have perfect manners and converse intelligently with the grown ups, its really easier for everyone if you have SOMETHING age appropriate for them to do. i have no children, and so i have no toys for them. But if its a nice day outside, i have some crafts set up on the table outside, and their is always at least one or two adults that are happy to help supervise them outside and even join in. Around this time of year the craft stores have lots of inexpensive seasonal craft kits for kiddies.
-If you have pets, keep them confined in a back room,especially if you have kids coming. Even the friendliest kitties and pooches will get stressed, and you dont want any "incidents" if your guests little darlings decide to antagonize the poor things. And even though i have dogs inside my own home, i have to admit that when i go to someone elses home, the sight of a dog or cat in the KITCHEN of all places makes me discreetly look for stray hairs in the food, and puts me off a little. (i know its weird, but my dogs are not allowed in the kitchen- a rule i am POSITIVE they obey without question even when im asleep or gone-LOL-i will roll my eyes at myself now)
-I always have new ,inexpensive tupperware washed and ready. Ask people to take some home with them, its less stuff you have to find room in your fridge for, and its a nice gesture.

Be the guest, and have a long way to drive so that no one expects you to bring anything warm. The only stress is traffic!

I've been designated to provide the beer for many years now, and if I show up with something extra like Cranberries Jezebel well then I'm just the greatest.

Think about the foods you make "because we always have that for Thanksgiving dinner". When one of our daughters was in grade school, she wanted to get extra math credit by making pie charts of our family's most and least favorite TG dinner items. After dinner, she asked each guest their three foods for each category.

Every single person selected creamed small onions as one of their least favorite foods and I asked my aunt why she made them every year. She started laughing and said she forgot that they were my Great-Uncle Albert's favorite. However, he died when I was eight years old and she continued making them in his honor for his wife who died two years later. Next year, they were off the menu.

A couple of years ago, my friend realized that the only person who insisted on having the classic green bean casserole made exactly as on the onion ring container was her niece's husband. They had been divorced for about ten years but the casserole lived on.

It's fine to honor family traditions but it's also OK to reevaluate them once in a while.

I just drive 8 hours, and join my daughter, son in law and the grand kids for TG.

Easy peasy... :) but I do bring a dish.

Moni

Some great tips here. I especially like the one about too many dishes. I do that every year. Last year I wrote out a menu in advance and then took several things off the list which helped. Now if I could only figure out how not to make too much food I'd be in good shape. I think my tip is good planning. The last few years I've made a prep list of things that had to be done and a schedule of when to do it. As long as you are honest about the time it takes to do something it really helps to keep you on track. Another tip I have is the grill can be a good place to keep things hot. That always seems to be the biggest problem when there are a lot of different dishes.

Hmmm. I guess I'm odd, I just don't find holiday dinners to be stressful. I cook way too much food, laugh and spend time with the family and have leftovers for a week. If something doesn't turn out well I get teased, it becomes pig food or compost and we eat the rest of the meal.

We have family "traditional" favorites and I always toss in some new stuff. This year, since Amanda was diagnosed as celiac, I'll make the traditional stuffing along with a gluten free cornbread version. That will make Elery happy, since he doesn't care for the traditional bread stuffing and loves the cornbread stuffing. I haven't decided yet what to do about dinner rolls, although I'll probably just make Sol's Honey Rolls and maybe make gluten free muffins or popovers too.

I make the rolls and the pies the day ahead, and the turkey is brined the day before, but everything else is made on the day of the meal.

My biggest stress is what kind of pie to make! So many varieties and I can't make them all. Gotta have pumpkin, of course...

I love Thanksgiving, it's the holiday where I don't have to do anything except eat and be thankful. No special music, cards to send, decorations everywhere, gifts to buy, just dinner with the family and time to be thankful for it.

Annie

Timely topic. I was just noticing the increase in traffic seemed to be holiday related. :)

Thanksgiving isn't my feast to host (I've been bringing the guacamole since I was 15 and everyone still wants it--can you say lucky? Everyone is older now and don't want borekes, which are very rich). It's not really different in planning from the ones I do, however.

My best tip is to plan the cooking and serving places, stations and utensils while you're planning the menu, and organize all the details on the computer. The turkey will be in oven A in the big roaster with the baked potatoes on a baking sheet, and the brisket (read ham for those who make it) will be in the rectangular roasting pan oven B with the vegetable casseroles in pyrex--yes, those fit (break for checking the fit). The turkey will rest on this end of the island, while the soup is being dished up at the stove. The soup dishes will be stacked in the clean-up sink, leaving the other end of the island clear for plating up the meat. The turkey goes on the platter that matches the company dishes with the fork from the matching flatware. The brisket goes on Mother's old platter with the fork from the kitchen stainless. The potatoes will be served with these tongs from the big wood bowl and the casseroles will be served on the chop plates that Aunt Gert brought back from Barcelona with the lasagna server and the cake server, leaving the pie servers for pie.

This isn't just thought of, it's written down and organized by time. I have mine all in Word, which makes looking up past triumphs easy. In the file for each holiday is the menu, shopping list, time table, tablesetting notes, plus the guest list with phone numbers, plus phone numbers for the table rental, etc. As each guest responds, the number coming goes to the left. Noes are turned pale lavender. Legible, but way faded. Left messages are turned green. If someone is bringing a dish, it's noted on the list.

OH! That reminds me of two more tips: People always bring flowers and small plants, so I don't make centerpieces. I put the short ones right on the table, and if there's a plain bunch of flowers, like they have at the grocery store, I'll kind of weave the individual flowers amonst the serving pieces.

Oh, yeah...I always take out the serving pieces and utensils as soon as the table is clear to set, and make sure I have everything ready. Looking for a lasagna server after guests have arrived takes way longer and is frazzling.

The second added tip is rent tablecloths! My dishes are kind of old fashioned white with gold. Cheap, actually, but pretty. Because they're neutral, however, I rent the tablecloths along with the extra tables, and get a different color every time. Often I'll go with whatever is trendy. Seder this year was on raspberry. Then, when everything is cleared off, just fold the sides to the middle, crumbs and all (dry. Wet foods should be cleaned off), and away they go!

Along with all the other great tips...

-Don't expect perfection, you'll be disappointed unless you are "Martha Stewart".

-Don't go it alone if you have people to share the experience with you. People are no longer cooking meals at home regularly, and baking from scratch doesn't even show up on the radar in their busy lives, how can they feel comfortable cooking a large Thanksgiving banquet with all the trimmings? Therein lies one of the reasons for stress -- taking on more than they really feel comfortable doing, but doing it out of a sense of duty or tradition.

-The meal is just as good on paper plates as it is on the 100+ year old linen and china, and I've served on both.

-If you’ve never made pies or dinner rolls before, or you are a little rusty and haven't made them in awhile, practice ahead of time or find alternatives if this is something that will stress you out.

-For those who strive to have homemade dinner rolls fresh from the oven in time for the meal, you will probably need an extra oven or really great timing and planning. I prefer not taking a chance on fresh-baked dinner rolls and will reheat foil-wrapped dinner rolls made the day before. My sad story on the subject was the year my sister-in-law insisted on fresh-baked dinner rolls for a Christmas dinner one year and didn’t have any idea how long they take to make. The meal, which was supposed to be timed for noon (and all the guests assembled at noon), didn’t get served until 3 p.m. -- ALL because of the dinner rolls. Some people who were invited to the meal had to leave without eating because they had to travel to other places for Christmas dinner with other family members.

-I like to have the "main event" at noon so I have the rest of the day to enjoy all the visitors and watch football... Leftovers, with a couple new side dishes added in if needed, will cover dinner.

-Modern culture, advertising, and TV make it more about an abundance of MUST HAVE side dishes and desserts, with Poppin' Fresh dressed as one of the Pilgrims in attendance, than about being thankful. Holiday meals are just one more thing we seem to "super-size" here in the U.S.

-Be able to adapt. The year our daughter was a college freshman she called the night before Thanksgiving asking if it would be okay if she brought a few more students from her dorm with her since they wouldn't be going home for Thanksgiving. It ended up being two car-loads of college students along with all the other family attending. What a great time we all had!!! That was the casual paper plate Thanksgiving with three banquet tables set up in the library with every chair we had and a few borrowed from neighbors, while the dining table served as the buffet and the buffet was stacked with desserts.

This year we had a mini-Thanksgiving in October since we now celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving (for convenience), with our daughter and her family in Tennessee. I trimmed the menu this year due to travel (12-hours) using many of the traditional flavors in new ways, and less food overall.
Roasted Turkey Breast
Roasted Veggie and Cornbread Dressing (using gluten-free cornbread)
Gingered Apple-Cranberry Salad
Mashed potatoes and gravy
Relish Tray
Pumpkin Ice Cream

Because I baked and sliced the turkey breast and froze it for the trip, as well as turkey broth to make the gravy and adding to the dressing, it was a quick meal to fix. I baked the cornbread early the morning of the meal, using a portion for the dressing and the remainder for the meal instead of dinner rolls. It was primarily a 60-minute meal.

-Grainlady

I'm in NJ where temps could be balmy or down-right ARCTIC on T-Day. If I was doing the whole meal, I'd take advantage of "natural" chill as much as possible. I'd do as much prep work at LEAST 1-2 days before. Potatoes (white or sweet) would be peeled and put into large container, covered with water, and set in potentially COLD garage.

A cooler is your friend. I'd do all the trimming, paring, cutting of veggies, put in zip bags and into a cooler... possibly outside.

My family like LOTS of gravy, so would probably get a head start on that in anticipation of good brown "gunk" in roasting pan from bird. Would buy a few legs/thighs/wings , roast them well, and make a tub-o-stock maybe this coming weekend. Pieces would be good picking and stock could go in freezer.

Would probably dig out serving dishes, if needed... and big spoons or whatever tools ya might need... and set aside. Might even set table ahead of time.

Come T-Day, just put turkey in oven and sit back and wait for that aroma to fill house. OH, make sure you leave enough time to DEFROST the bird! A frozen bird, bought on Sunday, will take at LEAST 2-3 DAYS to defrost in fridge.

+1 dcarch! You made me laugh out loud...literally!

This year my son & DIL will be home for Thanksgiving, first time in 4 years. I want to visit instead of standing over the stove so I thought about our normal menu and then easier and lower calorie alternatives: baked sweet potatoes instead of fat-and-sugar laden casserole, much easier to prep; tossed salad out of a bag, just rinse and spin and toss in some cherry tomatoes; and dessert will be a fruit crumble that I can mix the topping (nuts, oats, brown sugar and butter) the night before and put in a baggie, it will go into the oven when the turkey comes out. I will also chop the celery for the stuffing the night before and tear the bread up. Brown-n-serve rolls, I don't want the dieters too tempted! My brother inevitably will spill at least one thing during dinner, so I will cover the table with a clear plastic that will let my pretty damask tablecloth show but I won't have to worry about stains. We don't have little ones to worry about, but I remember when we were small, outdoor games were required, that left us too tired to do more than eat and take a nap. I never appreciated why until we spent one Thanksgiving with friends with undisciplined grandchildren. Shudder. Also, if you are going to have several people over and the weather is going to be cold, make sure to have enough space somewhere for coats and possibly boots, given the current weather! Check inventory of paper products at least the weekend before. Above all, remember to count your blessings and enjoy and celebrate your family and friends. Because "that's what it's all about."
Edie

I'm with FOAS, be the one who travels and shows up and brings one thing and everyone thinks you are the greatest! Honestly the best stress-free Thanksgiving is to surround yourself with easy going people. That really helps a lot! My dad and brother are super picky eaters so that makes Thanksgiving a bit of a challenge sometimes, you're lucky if you don't have a whole host of picky eaters to contend with. I used to use Thanksgiving as an opportunity to try some unique dishes that I would never make for just me by myself. Then I realized that most of my people didn't like those dishes, so I could do something really basic and everyone would even like that better. So gone are my favorites like confetti wild rice pilaf (everyone just wanted plain wild rice) and pear goat cheese salad (coleslaw was actually preferred by my family, or salad from a bag). Our dressing is boring because my dad is celery and onion averse, and I'm lucky that green bean casserole never became a family tradition at my house so I can go with plain steamed green beans which is fine by me. Dessert is where I can go all out if I want but I don't usually want to because no one in my family should be eating a lot of sweets. My mom gets all sentimental and wants pie so that's what she gets unless I convince her that pumpkin cheesecake is worth the sacrifice, which doesn't take much convincing. We make way more out of the material aspects of every holiday than is necessary here in the US, so I try really hard to actually DOWNPLAY the food part. Unless there's some really strong favorite other way you like turkey, roast the turkey, with a spicy apple, mincemeat or pumpkin pie as a chaser, (store bought works just as well for those purposes) make the whole house smell fabulous and call it a day as far as creating holiday memories. That and serve mulled wine or cider with apple jack brandy and everyone will be really happy! Sure, you could make some glam appetizer, but plain ol' cheese and crackers is actually what everyone likes. Don't let your foodie self get the best of you! Last year we had roast chicken, coleslaw, roasted sweet and regular potatoes, dressing and steamed asparagus. That was it and it was delicious, easy peasy and satisfied everyone. Our big splurge was pumpkin cheesecake.

LPink reminded me of the Holiday Meal Planning Song, which I posted awhile back. Watching it a few times might be another way to destress. :)

Hilarious, plllog!

I make a list just to make sure I get everything on the table.

If it is your first or second it can be stressful...
I'm on my 25th and have a file i bring out every year. It has 5 or 6 thanksgiving 'food and wine' mags and even my shopping lists....
(we laugh about that) but it does help. My do-ahead shopping is like clock-work...and prep ahead is never frozen, just organized by chopping and bagging ahead for roasted veggies...some dishes that are expected, etc. I've made thanksgiving for 30 many times.
I've prepped the table with linens, candles, plates,serving dishes ahead by 2-3 days. Just to avoid last minute stress...

I first joined CF back in maybe 2004?? It was because of stressing about my first Christmas at my first house with my family. I had a lot of memories of stressful holidays as a child with my folks. My mom is very introverted and does not do well cooking for a crowd. In fact, I think she generally hates cooking for any type of entertaining, and my uber picky dad and his opinionated family kinda wore down any pleasure she might have gotten out of a holiday. They don't bother me, but then I'm an extrovert. There was one year when my dad drove the ten minutes across town to pick up my grandmother and visiting aunt, and didn't return for at least an HOUR. Apparently they were not ready like they said they were. And then my aunt complained that the turkey was "dry" because my mom tried to keep everything warm until they arrived, not to mention fending off us hungry kids. And it's not like they got there and just sat down either, my aunt acted like they had all the time in the world. Needless to say, that was NOT the happiest Thanksgiving. One year I made baked stuffed squash and I could not get the squash to soften, after seemingly hours. We finally just ate the stuffing out of the middle. So much for my glam vegetarian Thanksgiving. And for a few years I tried to cook healthy when my folks visited and couldn't understand why my dad was always wanting to go out to eat, and then later they got smart and brought their own junk foods! I have become totally blase about the holiday, and that serves me well. As for entertaining, like Sleevendog says, I have done it often enough now that I know what works, thankfully! But it took a lot of trial and error and hand-holding from the CF to get there! The best tip I learned was to take what I want to fix and cut it in half!! I used to make too much food and realized that folks don't enjoy it as much, they can't take it in.

Oh, I wish I'd had that tip a few years ago, LPink. I grew up cooking vast quantities for hungry men who worked hard. When, all of a sudden, it was my turn to host at my house, I didn't realize how much older and daintier the guys had gotten, and I had so many leftovers! Especially because we tend to be generous with portions in my culture anyway.

Another tip: If you aren't the kind of house that parcels out the leftovers to all the young adults at the end, have a plan for them. If you're making a turkey, what are you going to do with the carcass? Legs/wings that aren't snapped up? Sliced meat? I try to buy the right sized bird, but then a couple of big eaters don't show, or the butcher says he couldn't get an 18 lb., how about 22? By the time everything is cleared away, I don't want to use my brain for a few days, so try to have a plan and prep done for that too. First day is stock with whole veg, carcass and leftover bits, with the onions, carrots, etc. already bagged together and ready. That then becomes soup using up the cold vegetables.

If there is going to be enough for a casserole, I bake some extra potatoes for it next to the turkey (even if potatoes aren't on the menu, I make a few for the picky eaters and not feeling so hots), but unless there's a ton of stuffing and gravy left, I don't make it "Thanksgiving" flavored. More like turkey broccoli scalloped potatoes with a custardy binder--and dried veg for flavoring so, again, little prep.

If there's a lot of sliced turkey or brisket, it can be vacuum sealed in lunch quantities for sandwich making, and frozen. If there's enough stuffing to fill a container, that gets frozen too. If I don't have a plan, the leftovers don't get used well. There aren't that many portions of anything--not to make a meal of without reinventing. If everything is ready to go and I don't have to think, all's well.

sleevendog, I think you're right, it's just that we've done it so many times. I've preparedThanksgiving, Christmas and Easter dinners for 30-40 people every year for at least 35 years, and intersperse that with wedding appetizers for 600, wedding food for 300, various birthday parties for 50 or so and a couple of wedding cakes, and Thanksgiving for a dozen just seems like every day. I always leave the sweet potatoes in the microwave and never had enough oven room, so it's much the same every year. I don't even make lists anymore.

So, for me it's just a day to enjoy having the family together, with the kids and grandkids and mother, and relax and be thankful. At least it's not another wedding, LOL, I was thankful when we'd married off all of our children!

Annie

I have a rather large family. I have 5 older siblings and they are all mariied and have 14 children between them. They "rotate" years. One year they come to my parents, the other they go to the in-laws. Well, with the exception of myself and one sister and her family, they all live out of town and they ALL stay at my parents house, and as the kiddies get older, me and my sis could see that it was getting to be too much for my mom. My mom is the type of person who really doesnt like to cook. I love to cook though and have cooked the meal at her house since i was a teen. But the stress of it all makes her put off planning ANYTHING until its really too late. On her last rotation, me and sis were trying to get her to decide if she wanted turkey or ham..and she just said..."I don't feel like thinking about this,it will work itself out" This is her typical attitude towards and kind of party or celebration. She would really just focus on her grandkids and believe that no one need to eat anything ever. (SERIOUSLY...one year she baked ONE pumpkin pie for ALL of us and said that it was enough...ONE pie people) ONe pie isnt enough for ME let alone trying to share it with my siblings and their BROODS. I can kind of understand this, its really hard to just STORE all the food for a big meal when they have already stocked up with food ,drinks and snacks for their kids and grandkids for the week. But it was stressing US out when we were trying to help and she just wanted to pretend like the thanksgiving fairy was going to drop a meal on the table. I have offered to let some siblings stay with me, but my house is teeny tiny, and of course the grandkids want to stay with mimi and papa, and would spend the whole time over there anyway, so that didn't work out. Also i have 5 pit bulls and a german shepard and that made some of them nervous.(okay okay ill admit it, i didnt really WANT them to stay with me, as much as i love them, and they are good houseguests,i really like my home to myself. Its because im the baby of the family,was given hand me down everything and now refuse to share almost anything that is MINE MINE MINE MINE I GOT IT FIRST NOT YOURS LOL)-But the POINT is that they are WELCOME to stay anytime.
So we (me and sis) came up with a plan that has worked out WONDERFULLY. I love to cook, but hate to clean the kitchen. She loves to entertain but hated to be stuck in the kitchen. So, for the last few big family functions(we have a lot) we plan the menu together, i make the grocery list, she does the shopping, and i go to HER house and cook everything, and she does the cleanup. This has eliminated almost all the stress from holidays. Before when i would cook at my moms house, my father (who always stresses out if the kitchen is not EXACTLY like he wants its, which basically means no food out no dishes or cookware being used,really it would be better if he had no kitchen at all)forever be coming into the kitchen, putting things that i just took out of the fridge or pantry back before i could use them, washing pots i wasnt done with yet,and asking me a trillion times a minute "are you done with this? are you done with that?" then ignoring me and putting it away anyway, so i would have to go get it again, or start over in a new pan.....I discovered that since we started this arrangement, it takes less than half the time to make the same amount of food. It also helps that my sister and her husband live in the country with several acres for the nieces and nephews to run around on, and any number of animals (horses,goats, dogs,cats, geese,chickens,ducks,pigs,etc.) to entertain them until dinner and wear them out for the ride back to my moms house. (can you say "NAPTIME") My sister has 6 kids (two sets of twin boys, a single boy and a little baby girl) and so leftovers really arent an issue. (my parents do NOT like leftovers hanging around, which was always another point of argument-too much food versus not enough)
Everyone wins, I can do what i love(cook) without any of the downside (ie the cleaning) My sister can do what she loves (entertain in her home) without the downside (having to cook for everyone) the parents can come, eat and enjoy the grandkids without having to do either or deal with leftovers or a mountain of dishes, and all the siblings and their families have a really good time, which is really what the holidays are about. Wish we thought of this YEARS ago.

Amylou, you reminded me of my

LOL pillog!!! I know just how that poor little peanuts guy feels! I always felt that Lucy bore any uncanny resemblance to my older siblings when we were growing up!!!! I would like to agree with you about my mom, but my father learned a long time ago not to even try that with her. I remember him doing that ONCE when i was a child and she very quietly and in very lady like fashion turned off the stove, told him to just clear everything away if it makes him feel better, and lounging on her chaise lounge in front of the tv. When he was foolish enough to ask "what about dinner" she told him to go eat dirt. We had pizza that night. The next day, he asked "whats for dinner dear" and she said "whatever the hell you let me get done cooking. They went back and forth with him saying that he was just trying to keep the kitchen clean and her saying "thats fine, if i never have to cook again, you wont have to worry about it,etc.etc." I know who won that conversation, ever since, when shes cooking, he stays OUT until shes done. I haven't inherited her "death stare" or her ladylike heirs so maybe thats why he likes to take advantage to be obnoxious when he can. He knows that im not going to go off on him like i might someone else since he IS my father. I just grit my teeth and deal with it. Or did, until we came up with our little plan. She just doesn't like to plan, and to be honest i think she thinks its rude to go to someones house just to eat.....i know its weird, but she always thinks the tiniest amount of something is enough to feed a virtual ARMY of people. She doesnt really care about food and eats like a bird, unless its chocolate, then she indulges (i inheritated THAT quality from her!) Her breakfast consists of a cup of tea and a handful of choclate chips from the freezer. (every morning for as far back as i remember) So i get it. Either way, its just easier this way. Trying to plan something with her is like pulling teeth....of a bear....a bear with a thorn in its butt. LOL Happy Thanksgiving!

Dig out two sizes of vases and have them somewhere at the ready. This is for the guest who at the last minute brings flowers, flowers not in an arrangement but picked them up on the way from the grocery store. Oh, you dont really want to stop doing whatever and search for them and make room for it.

Have every serving dish and utensil out-with a legible card so guests can really help.

Make a timeline, starting from the dinner or app start time and work backwards. Give lots of extra time. Write it down. Photo it. Tape it up. People want to be greeted and talked to. (When I cook, I cook, and hate socializing. I and you all take pride.

I’m with FOAS and lpink this year we are traveling down to DD home. All I have to bring is carrot cake and maybe a lemon meringue cake if I can get the baking lady to make me one. One carrot cake and a few dozen carrot cupcakes for the CHP guys that have to work that day and I’m done. DD and some of the other mothers and wives set up a lunch, dinner for those on patrol on holidays.

As far back as I can remember my mom had the big dinners every holiday. She didn’t much like to cook and I know it really took her out of her comfort zone. She did all the lists had the table set by Tuesday but as the family grew to around 30 you could just tell she was done in. When she reached her 70’s my sister took over and the only thing she would let me do was pies and gravy. Turns out I was the only one who could make gravy. That worked well until mom passed away at 81 it’s a long story I won’t go into but after that the family never got together again. My dad who lived another 10 years never could figure it out but I made sure he had a place to come on every holiday. He passed away this last June so this will be the first time in a very long time I will be with DD and my family.

I now have 32 place settings of beautiful china with every serving piece you would ever want that I’m never going to use it. It’s sad because every time I look at it it just reminds me of my mother trying so hard to make everything like a hallmark movie. I tried to give it to DD but all she said is not yet so maybe next year.

Amylou321, know exactly what you mean my mom was like that she didn’t like to cook and only ate because she had to. She would pass out if she didn’t eat every 5 or 6 hours. It got worse as she got older and the doctors finally determined she was not diabetic or hypoglycemic they’re exact words were she was just a little odd. She was very tiny and if she ever got close to 100 pounds she would just stop eating three of the five potato chips she had with her ½ sandwich for lunch and the 1 or 2 pounds would come off. My DD is a little hypoglycemic and it looks like my great DGS is also and thats hard to deal with he is only 2 ½. We don’t know about great DGS yet but my mom couldn’t and DD can’t wear a watch they stop working within an hour.

Wishing everyone a happy and stress free thanksgiving I know mine will be different but happier than they have been in a long time. I miss my dad but now I get to be with my family he always told me to go but I could never just leave him alone for the holidays.

Claudia

This year I might have bit off more than I can chew. I usually do all the sides (except mashed potatoes) and desserts (a birthday cake and 2 pumpkin pies - we have to have leftovers! baked the day before) and bring them to my parents' house, my dad does the turkey and mashed potatoes (mashing at the last minute while the turkey rests, sometimes he lets DH mash while he carves b/c my dad is the only one who can carve). We just do store-bought dinner rolls (we like the big crusty ones from BJ's so I bring those, my mom likes the snowflake rolls so she buys those). I throw the homegrown frozen green beans in the microwave just before we sit down, the sweet potatoes are cooked at my house and brought in a Pyrex dish and put in to warm up a bit more when the turkey comes out of the oven. I make the gravy (I'm the only one who can make gravy, my mom doesn't do roux) once the turkey is out of the pan. It gets a little hectic with 3 people (plus my mom is always doing something) in the kitchen at the same time but they have a large kitchen, my dad is across the room carving while DH is on the other side of the sink from me mashing, I'm at the stove doing gravy.

This year Dad will not be able to stand to carve, DH doesn't usually carve (not that I make turkey, but I'm the one who usually carves chickens and roasts at our house) so I will have to make the gravy while the turkey rests on the cutting board, have DH warm the sweet potatoes while he's mashing, have my mom nuke the beans while I carve (and Dad yells at me standing behind his recliner at the peninsula telling me how to do it, he may even try standing with his walker and watch me, I don't know if he will be able to carve with knee surgery on the 19th but he's likely to try unless he's in so much pain that he just can't get up. And if he's not in pain, then I'm afraid he's too doped up to let us trust him with a knife!).

I have to ask DS if he wants a cake this year (his birthday is a week earlier but he's on a Wilderness Survival outing with the Scouts that weekend), DD's is 2 days before, she said she just wants candles in a pumpkin pie. She wants to help, we could possibly do the pies (1 to take, 1 to keep at home, or maybe 2 to take so my parents will have leftovers if I don't make a cake) the night before but we are going to help make turkey dinner at the soup kitchen (they do a Wed night dinner, that night will be pizza and the turkey will be served the next day) after school and I'm not sure what time we'll be getting home (if we stay for pizza the guys are on their own, if not I have to make dinner for the 4 of us and THEN do the pies).

Tuesday night (DD's birthday) we are helping pack wreath orders for pickup at the greenhouse, and tagging wreathes I will bring back to town on Wed to drop off for the BSA Wreath Sale booth (trailer) for sale starting on Friday. Then volunteering (maybe, they might have enough people) for Colonial Day at DD's school, picking her up at 1pm and going to the soup kitchen. Wreathes might have to be dropped off at 1pm (I'll trust no one will steal them out of truck parked at school) if the Scouts aren't ready for them before I have to get to school.

I *could* do the pies during the day Tuesday (I will make cake then if DS wants one), but DD wants to help. Do you think they will still be good Thursday (and leftovers Fri-Sun) if we made them Monday night?

TG morning DD and I will go to my parents' house to get the turkey going and peel the potatoes, I can leave her there and go back to my house (only 10 miles) to make sweet potatoes and dressing or just bring my Nesco roaster or smaller electric pressure cooker (that might be better) to my parents' to do them since there is no room in oven with turkey and baked sweet potatoes take an hour in the oven (my mom prefers Pepperidge Farm dried stuffing mix, at least it's not Stovetop but I'm happy not to have to do dressing with day-old bread). This year I'm skipping the mashed sweet potatoes with maple syrup my dad likes, and just doing the baked ones I bring for us every year, so there will be 1 less dish to worry about preparing earlier in the day and reheating. He can mash up one in the skin and put some maple syrup on it on is plate if he wants ;-) We usually have way too much food for 6 people anyway.

I'm sure I can do this, it's just a matter of planning it out around 1 oven (or planning to bring proper appliances, or do ahead) which many people do. I'm just trying to get it all on my Google calendar. The stressful part will be trying to get my dad to let us do everything he's used to doing - even on "normal" days like just having us over for BBQ he's got to tell me and mom how to do our part.

This post was edited by ajsmama on Thu, Nov 13, 14 at 9:17

My tip? Embrace it for all that it is. The chaos, the love, the people, the food, the talks remembered for years to come. The rest of it becomes inconsequential when it's in perspective.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! May your tables be filled with family, food, and fun. I thank my stars, the heavens above, for you my cyberfriends.

jasdip - please offer a few details on your stuffing cooked in a crock pot. Thank you.

All stores here (NY) offer full TG dinners to go for a reasonable price. Buy one and add a few things of your own.

Many restaurants will roast your turkey (or other meats) for not much money.

dcarch

Ajasmama just reminded me why I made a reservation. Different circumstances here, but I typically do the turkey, sides, rolls and sometimes get to do a dessert. I found that having others bring dishes led to folks arriving an hour or two late or with dishes that needed prep and cooking time they didn't let me know about. That's not helping. But this year I still have some of my parents' things in my dining room and am still administering their estate (had to fire the attorney before anything got going) and I'm just not up to cooking and cleaning for days so that everyone else can sit and chat and watch football. I finally hit my overload point and I'm looking forward to letting someone else do it all.

Ajasmama, I understand the parents adding stress sometimes. My parents were pretty good about letting me do what I needed to in my kitchen, but it took a few years to get my dad to not stand in my way while I was doing it. In retrospect, it may have been his health that changed that as he was less able to stand and survey. My mom tried to help, but she had Alzheimers' and it got harder to find things she could do the last few years. This will be our first year without either of them, and I'd rather have them here and deal with those things than not. Just do your best to plan and be flexible where you can't -- and keep the family stuff and the reason for being together in perspective. You'll miss it all -- even the headaches, when they are gone.

That's why I was asking how far ahead the pies can be done, since I will be busy the day before (wasn't thinking when I volunteered), and I have never done the entire meal myself before. The turkey goes in so early, and potatoes can be peeled at the same time (or my mom will do them instead of my dad, he peels the skin paper-thin so there's no waste, she loses half the potato along with the peel so I guess she'll just have to peel twice as many!) that's no problem, the thing is having 1 oven or having to run back to my house to do the things I normally do there.

Making (or even just trying to lend a hand when we're invited for my birthday or something) a meal at my parents' house is stressful b/c my dad has to tell everyone how to do everything (though he's by no means a chef, and the only things he cooks are 1) anything on the grill 2) TG turkey and 3) turkey soup). It's just going to be more so this year b/c he will not physically be able to be in the kitchen (though if we can keep him in the bedroom until everything's on the table it might be *less* stressful than usual LOL!).

When my parents come to my house (Easter, Mother's Day, Xmas morning) they stay out of my kitchen b/c I designed it for 2 cooks max. I still have Dad commenting on how I'm doing things but I try to have most things in the oven or prepped as far in advance before they get here as possible so there's not much to do once they arrive. I wish I could have them here for TG, but it will probably be hard enough for Dad to get to the table and sit 5 days after coming home from hospital, it's too much to expect him to get in and out of car and walk 3 steps up into our house. And I don't have a recliner for him to put his legs up either. We'll repeat all this at Xmas (after his second knee surgery), with my sister, BIL their 9 yr old and 2 yr old staying there thrown into the mix. But my sister's a very good cook and has no problem throwing my parents out of their own kitchen.

We don't have mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving. Sweet potatoes and dressing cover the starch category. However, I found a recipe for make-ahead mashed potatoes that can be done up to 2 days ahead. It is from The Kitchn, a source that I usually find reliable.

Here is a link that might be useful: The Kitchn Make Ahead Mashed Potatoes

I don't bake a lot of pies, but technically they are probably okay up to a week, but I think they are best the first day or two. I think Tuesday is the earliest I'd want to make them, but it can also vary by type of pie pecan and pumpkin seem to hold better, followed by fruit and cream pies last). Or just buy the pies this year and let yourself off the hook. Or can your sister bring pies? You bake for Christmas?

Make sure Dad knows this is his year off too and assign someone to pamper him , get his drink, nibbles, an ice pack, make reports so he can rest (i.e., keep him out of the way). The doc may want him up, but remind him that speed and agility won't be up to par and he'd be safer staying out of the kitchen -- let him know you've been paying attention all these years -- it will be fine. It's a plan anyway.

Do you have all the sides worked out with the single oven? Don't forget that crockpots can help keep things warm. There's even a casserole one now. Sounds like you are getting close to getting it worked out.

Good luck with those wreaths, We did the wreath sales for scouts a couple of years and then with another group. With sons at college this year, I just placed an order. ;)

Never having made a pumpkin pie in my life, I looked up a couple of recipes. Looks like the shell is partially pre-cooked. Would it work to make the filling a couple of days ahead and also pre-cook the shells a couple of days ahead; refrigerate all, then assemble on Thanksgiving day?

Just Googled "make ahead pumpkin pie." Linked below is Fine Cooking's advice on making pies ahead and freezing them! (FWIW, I love Fine Cooking)

Interesting that Alton Brown's recipe says it is better the next day. It has a ginger snap crust, though.

Here is a link that might be useful: Make Ahead pie tips

Thanks - I don't think my parents will go for make-ahead mashed potatoes but as long as they are peeled and cooked far enough ahead of time DH can mash them them while I'm carving the turkey. I *might* be able to convince my parents that we can make them before the last minute and keep them warm in a double-boiler sort of setup as mentioned above. Or if DH wants to carve, and I'm busy with stuffing and veggies, we'll have DS mash - it's about time he learned how to make Papa's special garlic mashed potatoes ;-)

I haven't found a really good store-bought pumpkin pie and that's what DD wants for her birthday (and wants to help me with it) so I have to make those (I usually do 2, my custard recipe makes enough for 2 deep-dish pies). I will try to do those Monday night with her, if we don't get around to it I will just do them on Tuesday during the day (and let her have an individual custard that night with 1 candle in it, I usually have enough left over for some small custard cups). If DS wants a cake I think I'll just buy that.

I will leave DD at my parents' TG morning after I get the turkey going so she can pamper Papa - my mom might appreciate the relief after taking care of him for 4 days by herself (I don't know when/if PT is coming that week, or if VNA is going to come out).

I think my mom has a toaster oven but I hate to make a mess with sweet potatoes in that. I suppose we can skip the sweet potatoes this year but DH prefers those and they are healthier. We have all sorts of crock pots but cooking the sweet potatoes and stuffing/dressing is the problem. The one time I brought them already hot in the pan I melted the inside of the insulated pizza delivery bag I put them in. I don't know if they could be done in the 6 qt Nesco (I have a huge Nesco big enough to do the turkey but I won't bring that to my parents' house b/c it takes up too much counterspace)?

Stuffing could probably be done in the toaster oven though if anyone has a way to do it in my mom's 6 qt crock pot or one of my smaller ones that would be good. Personally, I can live without it (esp. with mashed potatoes) but it's one of those "must-have" things for my parents. Or my mom will resort to Stovetop!

My sister lives on the opposite coast and will only be visiting for Xmas so she's no help at TG ;-)

1 more year of wreath sales and then DS is graduated and DONE! Of course the following TG he'll be at college, probably far away, and most likely we won't be together until Xmas after that :-(

Thanks for the bake-ahead tips. I normally use frozen deep-dish pie crusts anyway, the baked pies separate when frozen but making the custard Monday night with DD may be enough to satisfy her and then I can bake the pies Tuesday while she's at school (after school will be a rush to eat dinner and then get up to the greenhouse). They are better the next day, I can bake them with her Wed night if she really wants (no idea what time we'll be done at soup kitchen but if the custard is made and in fridge - I won't bother to freeze it - it won't take too long).

I was talking to DS between Review and Submit, he's fine with just pie, no birthday cake at TG dinner so that's 1 less thing to make (or remember to buy/bring). We're going to take him out for sushi (his favorite) on his birthday, maybe we can have cake with Grandma (who I hope will watch DD who doesn't like sushi or hibachi) afterwards. Papa will still be in the hospital since surgery is the day before, but my mom was only going to spend the first night there with him. I don't know if he'll be up to having visitors, we could bring some cake though I don't know if his dr will want him to have sushi.

Thanks for the help, sorry I kinda hijacked this thread! I wasn't stressing until I saw it, b/c I hadn't even thought about it but once I started thinking, it was "Oh wow, how am I going to make this work? I'm an idiot for volunteering for so many things the day before!" But DS just offered to walk down from HS to the soup kitchen to help at noon when he gets out (an hour before DD gets out of school). If nothing else, he can wash dishes or set up the tables for that night's pizza dinner.

ajsmama, I think the pies will be fine if baked Monday evening, but better if baked Wednesday. We like our pumpkin pie cold/chilled anyway, so mine gets baked on Wednesday night and kept "refrigerated" in my garage. Since it's 27F right now, it's plenty cold. Dinner rolls get baked on Wednesday night too.

The 6 quart Nesco is perfect for baking sweet potatoes, BTW, I do it regularly. If you can bake them in the oven, you can bake them in the Nesco, pretty much.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Annie

What are some of your best tips to lessen stress re: Thanksgiving dinner?

==>>> talk someone else in the family into having it...

get there late ...

eat..

leave early ...

lol

ken

I apologize if I am hijacking the thread but I understand the stress issue. Plus I need to vent. LOL

Thanksgiving is my holiday to host and like many others on this forum, I have hosted many and keep good notes so it's usually stress free but NOT this year.

Here's my dilemna:
I usually host a noon meal with friends and my MIL & FIL. In the evening I host a second meal for DH sisters, nephews and my MIL & FIL. This year friends are traveling so they aren't coming. Nephew #1 wife isn't sure if they are coming because it's their baby's 1st B-Day. Nephew #2's wife is due with their first at Thanksgiving so they are up in the air if they are coming. In laws are on the fence due to the two nephew's who aren't sure if they are coming or which meal they might attend. Oh and did I mention that Nephew #2 in laws may come with if he decides to come.

Now add to all that confusion the fact that I am traveling for work next week and won't get back until late Sunday. I have to work Mon-Weds. & Fri. the week of T-Giving and I have to pick the turkey up Monday night which is a 75 mile one way trip. I'll be prepping food until the wee hours. At least I can drop little pieces of food on the floor to bribe the dog to stay up and keep me company. He's a very good listener! :-)

My house is a disaster; the contractor finished today. I'll need a GPS to find the dining room table. My dishwasher is on the fritz, microwave is dead and oven is in menopause, cold then over heated. (Kitchen reno is scheduled for Spring 2015.) It's a conspiracy! I ordered a GE Advantium oven and it was delivered yesterday with a shattered glass on the door. It went back today. Sounds like a bad country song LOL!

Looks like I will find out at the very last minute who is coming when so I am going to keep it simple: the bird, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes and a green veggie. If the guests want appys or dessert, they can bring them. The End. Oh and PLENTY of wine for the cook!

It's a crap shoot whether we will be using linen, china & silver or paper plates and solo cups!

Ajsmama, Jasdip's slow cooker stuffing recipe is in her tilt-head thread. That's one I'm going to try for sure! I do it the way my mother does and it's awful (hers is delicious)!

Re pies: I haven't kept a pumpkin pie recently, but it does keep. Sort of. You're talking about the custard or cream or cream cheese pie made with canned pumpkin, right? The problem is where to keep it. Do you have a spare fridge that just has cold drinks in it? That would be the best. The problem is that the the pie can absorb refrigerator odors so you really don't want it where onions, cheese, etc., are stored. If there's no other option, wrapped inside an airtight container or large zipper bag will work. Just plastic wrap will work, otherwise.

The other problem is air. The top of the pie can oxidize and get scummy. You can prevent that by laying plastic wrap on the surface, very carefully. And remove it very carefully. And have some whipped cream to cover any blemishes.

If you usually decorate the pie with whipped cream or whatever, do that day of. The cream won't keep, and you need it for making pretty.

Whatever you do, make sure the pie is totally cooled before you wrap it. Otherwise, it could go mushy. You can chill it for a few hours in the fridge before wrapping.

That all sounds like a rigamarole, but with your exceedingly busy doings, it might be well worth it.

Alternative: Are you in charge at the soup kitchen? Are they desperately counting on you? Because usually there are plenty of volunteers for Thanksgiving at soup kitchens. Perhaps the thing to do would be to acknowledge that you have extra challenges this year and see if they can do without you, then go volunteer on a day(s) when they're understaffed? People need to be fed every day...

I think taking the roaster to your mother's to be a second oven is a great idea. My mother always used hers on the dryer as a spare oven for feast days and I used it in my old kitchen. It works great and can warm away happily on any spare circuit. One auntie put hers in the spare bedroom because it was only used for coats and had an empty circuit. :)

moosemac, you need a good and loyal friend (not the dog - no opposable thumb to hang on to the wine bottle) on Thanksgiving Day who will keep your glass full and your guest list organized. It wouldn't hurt if he/she also organized a brigade to clear the table and do the dishes.

Like I said, it is too bad if you have very picky eaters. My mom always served "Mrs Smith's" frozen pies and I've always enjoyed them. That's my kind of pie, take out of freezer to thaw, bake, cool and dig in yum! Now if you just adore making pies and you're going to feel so disappointed if you don't get to make one, then by all means do it. But if it is stressing you out, I say let it go, and go store-bought. Embrace the calm that goes along with it. I make semi-homemade pies with store bought crusts, it's my compromise and I never hear any complaints. The only reason I make home made crust is to save money. I had Thanksgiving at my aunt and uncle's one year, she was in her 80's and is the bestest cook. She made the whole dinner and I think enjoyed doing (it was super delicious as always) it, but I brought all the appetizers and they bought a caramel apple pie at the bakery for dessert and everyone raved about it. My uncle had a good time telling everyone all the elaborate trouble they went to making that pie too, like hand picking out the rare apples at some special store, etc. :) That's my motto, pick your battles when it comes to Thanksgiving and food, it's only food. Being in a good mood and rested and enjoying family is way more important. There's a whole cadre of folks who LOVE to cook and fuss and entertain at Thanksgiving. More power to them, but there is also a whole cadre of people who just don't love it, either due to being introverted, super busy with work, not feeling well, or just not liking to cook. It's time we gave those folks a break from "keeping up" with all the media hype around the holidays. Last year at the last minute mom said dad really liked sweet potatoes with a sweet sauce so instead of just baking them, I chunked them up and threw them in a casserole with some butter, brown sugar and a can of crushed pineapple. He loved it and I had to laugh because that came out a bigger hit than all my previous years pouring over cookbooks, magazines and the Internet for the ideal healthy or unusual or gourmet recipes.

moosemac - sounds like you ordered a fresh turkey. Any way you can get out of it? As I was reading I thought, OK, tell N#1 to come with the 1yr old, you can celebrate, that's what we always did with my kids (they're not going to get his Mommy and Me friends to a party on TG Day!). His mom can make a cake and bring it.

N#2 - there but for the grace of God (DD was due on TG Day, came 2 days early)! So you plan for them and if they don't come you have lots of leftovers.

But with the state of your house, and your travel and work schedule, I give you permission to take the day off - go to a restaurant, or ask N#1 if they'd prefer to have you (is he on DH's side? So DH's sisters, mom and dad are also aunts/mom, grandma and grandpa?) come to their house b/c you'd LOVE to celebrate baby's first birthday! You can even donate the turkey to them! You can bring the ice cream ;-)

Oh, storing the pies is no problem, we usually keep leftovers on the counter a couple of days though some people like it cold. I do have a spare dorm fridge that's clean, not sure if pies will fit on the single shelf but I'll give it a test run. Saran on top and whipped cream (out of a can) on the side (except for Dad who likes his warm with vanilla ice cream).

I'll bring the 6qt Nesco and do the sweet potatoes in that, will look at stuffing recipe but since I don't care for stuffing I may just let Mom make Stovetop.

They're not counting on me at the soup kitchen - I just asked last night if they needed help since it's a big meal and 2 nights in a row. I used to help every week but then last year switched to a farmer's market that same night so could only help in the off-season and during the summer I've been limited to just donating veggies (drop off the day before) and sometimes running in after market to see if they need anything that will keep a week (but I wouldn't keep to sell a week later) and begging for a plate of leftovers as they're cleaning up b/c I haven't eaten in 7 hours and know DH hasn't got anything left over for me at home. So time to pay back. The lady who runs it told me to relax and spend TG with them but I told her I had to cook for my parents, if my dad could make it I would have them go (or actually, more likely come to my house).

Boston,
DD will be my wine steward and right hand unfortunately she is traveling the same schedule I am. We'll be exhausted but oh well.

Asmara,
Yup fresh turkey raised especially for me so I can't back out or I will be off the list for next year. Besides I love the flavor.

I am going to play the rest by ear and make the best of whatever happens. Wine works wonders which reminds me, I need to stock the wine fridge.

As long as the gas grill, crockpots and chafing dish hot plates don't die I will manage. If all else fails, we have wood and I can cook over an open fire.

Really, let N#1 host it this year, just give him the turkey (maybe he'll even pick it up?)!

I admit I add stress to Thanksgiving that is quite unnecessary but I love fresh, warm pies so I get up at 5 to make apple and pumpkin. I make the pecan the night before.
When I was a child, my mother would get up early to put the turkey in and we would wake up to the house filled with the fragrance. Wonderful!
I do make 2 turkeys so the gravy is made the day before as is the dressing and everything else is all mostly the morning of but I do a lot of prep work early.

Thanksgiving can be whatever you want it to be.

Another tip: It's never too early to start clearing out the fridge. :) Those three lonely pickle slices in their big ol' jar need to find a sandwich pronto. Etc. But it only works if you have the discipline to do without a new jar until after the holiday. :)

No kosher dills are safe around me. I see, I conquer... No discipline whatsoever !

The fridge will be cleaned by the weekend before. Right now I have not only pickles, but open jars of jelly I had given to the Historical Society for their Barn Dance and they returned more than half full! But the kids have been eating PBJ sandwiches all month so soon will have them finished.

(I'm throwing out the half gal jar with 2 half sours no one's eaten - I don't think they're good months later!)

Leave town.

Did it one Christmas and it was one of the best ever.