LOL! I have the same problem, but fewer friends. lol!

Haha. I have a very dear and lovely friend who just told me he hates celery, lol.
For years he has been picking celery out of my foods. Really, ?!. Oh my, what we do when i now think of having them over...i adore celery, lol. Wholly cow, batman, now i worry about celery?
I know many chefs that did have trouble a few years ago and just started to say no to special orders and diets, but realized they do have to accommodate...or they loose money.

I like to cook and prepare a dozen sides for large gatherings and family get-togethers to please everyone...still gets a bit exhausting when a thousand questions about ingredients are asked...right down to what vinegar and possible sugars may have been added.
(my FIL grilled me on my seafood chowder so i made him a 'special' one and he still complained that it had a leek in the onion family, sheesh louise!)

I and others recently received an e-mail dinner invitation from a friend that included the pertinent information like date and time.

At the bottom, it read: The menu has not yet been finalized but if you have any dietary restrictions, you are welcome to join us at table with a meal you have brought and we've heated in the microwave for you.

We went and had a fabulous meal of the hosts' selection. One couple on a gluten-free diet did bring their own meals and they were smoothly integrated.

I had mixed emotions on the invitation but I think it lets the host concentrate on making the dinner instead of functioning as a dietician.

What do you think?

I have a stepdaughter who is celiac (as well as an aunt who does), a couple of vegetarians, my daughter is lactose intolerant and has diverticulitis and my mother is allergic to lemons! Family dinners are getting more involved, LOL.

I usually can manage to put together a meal that everyone can eat enough of to be satisfied with a bit of thought. Now, if you just are picky or don't like something? If you know you're going to dislike the meal, don't go or bring your own. I wouldn't have invited you if I didn't enjoy your company, usually, so if you wanted to bring your own, I'd be fine with that. The stepdaughter brings her own bread for toast when she stays with us, as well as snacks, although I always make sure to cook things that we can all enjoy.

It's an enjoyable challenge for me to cook for those I care about, and still stay within the parameters of their dietary requirements, so I don't mind.

Annie

While it can be a little frustrating working around guests' dietary restrictions, I think the comment on Ruthanna's invitation is really inhospitable. If I received such an invitation, even without dietary restrictions I suspect I would decline.
If a guest wanted to bring their own meal at their own instigation I wouldn't object, though I would try to assure them I would be happy to make a meal they could eat safely.
I have a BIL who has some dietary restrictions, and a somewhat picky SIL. "It's an enjoyable challenge for me to cook for those I care about, and still stay within the parameters of their dietary requirements, so I don't mind. " I couldn't have put it any better, Annie! My sentiments exactly.

I'm just going to say it - Entertaining isn't as pleasurable for me as it was years ago because of all the dietary restrictions and preferences. It's one thing when someone has a serious food allergy, religious based restrictions, etc. but it seems these days every gathering of more than a couple guests comes with all manner of food issues.

A few weeks ago I asked here for a recipe for a gluten free treat I could bring to a meeting where I knew 2 of the 7 prefer not to eat anything with wheat flour. I made a special trip to source almond flour and baked a lovely Clementine Cake only to be informed by one of the 2 gluten-free people that she could not partake because she had recently discovered she also cannot eat nuts.

This just goes on & on. Remember when people would eat what they liked and gracefully decline what they didn't want when they were guests and it wasn't the responsibility of a person preparing food for a social gathering to have to cater to each individual's current food preferences?

I could not agree more amck. And quite honestly, I think 20 years ago I would have been really offended by the invite that Ruthanna received, but now I think the host is spot on.

Alexa

I'm absolutely fine with catering to food allergies as well as known dislikes. I mean, why on earth would I want to work hard at preparing food that people can't or won't eat?

However, this food preference trend is starting to get to me. Gluten free, sugar free , organic only. Last dinner I hosted a guest wanted to know if the meat was hormone free before she ate it !!!!!

I think I'm getting to the point of asking folk to bring their own food too!! Or better yet only inviting people I know will eat what I serve and appreciate it!!

amck brought up good points. Many of these issues are not medical necessary restrictions but what people prefer at the moment. I have a friend who prefers to eat glutton free but at restaurants or at someones house she eats what is served. A recently published study said that about 75% of people eating glutton free have no medical reason to.

While its great to be concerned with the ingregients in your food, eating one meal that isn't "sugar free, etc" is not going affect your overall diet.

People can simply choose not to eat something. I am, what many would consider, a picky eater. I do not like most of the food I grew up with (german, polish). I had many dinners at weddings and such, of just a roll and butter. Even now if I go to any type of buffet I usually only find a few things to eat. I don't complain or even mention that I don't like the food. Rarely do I go to someones home for a sit down dinner but can't remember not eating most/all of the meal. Most of my family and friends don't invite people for a small dinners.

That being said I have no sympathy for requests that are not medically necessary. Its easy to just pass on a certain food or pick out the "celery". I've been doing it all my life.

Perhaps a note on an invite that says "All I guaranty is that the food will be delicious".

I would not be offended by that invitation. The host clearly knew a guest may have a special needs diet. I would want to be invited, rather than avoided, if i had a food restriction. I do believe it is the responsibility of the one with dietary restrictions to take care of themselves rather that expect a host to cater to their personal needs.
Hosting thanksgiving for 30 is expensive but we love it and enjoy it. If a close friend is vegetarian, i never mind making extra effort for them. If a secondary friend, someone i don't really know that well, calls to remind me that they are vegan, organic and gluten-free, and do not offer to help out, i am offended. At least offer and/or bring a dish. I always have a few good veggie sides and a veggie wild rice/mushroom dressing, a nice salad, but i'm not making a tofurkey!
Someone actually offered me some vegan recipes. I declined but said they sounded delish and feel free to make them and bring along.
I'm the chef at family gatherings and know all the special needs. I now write down every ingredient and recipe as i go. Even the salad dressings. Sauces and dressings always served on the side. I don't mind. It helps with the shopping lists when we arrive. : )

My point was that there must be a better way of keeping track of recipes that meet certain criteria...instead I always seem to start from scratch and find recipes that don't meet the restrictions regardless of what they are at the time.

I was even more challenged when cousin came over who is on Coumadin and can't have any high Vit K foods which is an unusual list as it limits foods that are generally considered healthy. So I had to start from scratch on that one....but the others? I've done it often enough I should know by now.

I do keep index cards on who came over and what I served so I don't duplicate, but not a list by diet type...

AD, my stepmother is also on Coumadin and can't have greens, broccoli, etc. Even without making a "special" meal, she can always have the meat, the potatoes, homemade rolls, carrots, corn, some kind of dessert. She can even have a little of the cranberry sauce and a glass of wine.

When she was on dialysis AND Coumadin, that was harder. (sigh)

I think I just make a lot of different things and let everyone pick out their own foods!

Annie