Hmmmm....that is a huge challenge. I also notice she can't have mushrooms so that would be two passes on the apps.

Surely your efforts will be appreciated by her and there will be enough for her to eat. She must encounter this often. Do you feel comfortable calling her, telling her the menu and asking if there are enough dishes that she can eat?

EDIT: I first read that shrimp was in the apps. Whatever - it would be 2 passes before you get to the meal. Good luck!

This post was edited by teresa_mn on Wed, Apr 10, 13 at 15:12

Sharon I know how good your stuffed mushrooms are, but that would be two passes for your guest.

And I'd be tempted to do a different first course. It is easy to pick around the appetizers over wine in the living room, but I'm not sure I would serve a first course that I know one guest wouldn't like and would have to skip.

What about your Potato Leek and Stilton Soup?

Your main course is perfect. Love your Rack of Pork.

Ann

I live with fussy eaters so I feel you pain. Just do simple food. I would skip the onions in the peas or do another simple vegetable like sweet corn or green beans so there will be a veggie she can eat. Also I would skip the herbs on the roast pork or leave one part of it without herbs. We are mostly born with our appetites and likes and dislikes so it's not like she can help it. I know my husband cannot eat any salad dressing with vinegar either so make the dressing on the side just in case. Whenever I have his family over I make a plain roast beef, mashed potatoes, sweet corn and biscuits and they are very happy!
Joann

I have a friend who has food phobias and can't eat at other peoples houses so I cook for everyone else in the group then she brings dessert. Otherwise I feel she gets left out.

I'm with Teresa I would call and ask but don't center everything around her. Balance is the key - I tried once to please everybody at a meal and ran myself ragged. Very hard to cook a roast rare and well done at the same time. I think if it was allergies I would try harder but plain picky ---- not so much.

Sharon, it's a very nice menu and I'd love every bite. But knowing you are going to serve at least one dish she won't enjoy, having that dish be one of the main meal sides might be better and make her less self-conscious. I agree with having the salad dressing on the side as I've unexpectedly ran into those surprises. Also, and maybe you already know it's okay with your friend but...for the herb crusted pork roast I'd be careful with the herbs. I usually use a healthy amount of garlic and some rosemary but I'd go much lighter for a company meal. Lots of people don't eat garlic and more than a few dislike rosemary. I'm afraid those people would be unhappy in our home since those are two of our favorite seasonings. Basically, I'm say Joann has the right idea...follow the KISS principle.

/tricia

I don't mind so much if she passes on the stuffed mushrooms as there will be plenty on the antipasto platter for her to choose from.

The shrimp is a must for our other guests.........

No way on earth she would eat leeks or Stilton!!!! LOL I'll probably scratch the soup.

Peas are her favourite veggie......but I could leave out the onions ;( and instead do a second veggie even if she doesn't care for it.

No way I'm leaving off the herbs , they make this dish but you make a good point so perhaps I'll not herb the entire thing. I really can;t ask her because then she feels bad.....

I am so thankful I am not that picky, it must be difficult for her.

She is a sweetheart and doesn't want to be catered to but.......

I'm taking your points on the herbs....

The butcher is cutting me two rib roasts of seven bones each. I'll herb one but not the other....I'll eat the non "herbed" one so she doesn't feel bad and any of the guys who want a second rib can have the non "herbed" one but with the sauce.....

I just don't want to make it look like I catered to her entirely...she would rather take a pass on a dish or two than think I had made the menu entirely around her.......I think.

Oh mercy, and I thought I was picky!

I love your red pepper soup, it's a shame you can't serve that.

I don't suppose she'd eat your spanakopita, with the spinach? That would be in place of mushrooms?

I also loved your herbed pork roast when we were there, I can't imagine it without the herbs. I don't suppose she'd be able to eat just the center of the pork?

As for the peas, i tend to pick out things I don't care for and eat the rest, so I'd do that with the peas (except that I love onions), but if she's really picky she probably won't even like the fact that they touched or that some of the onion flavor made it onto/into the peas. i'd probably do plain buttered peas and an additional side dish.

She'll eat everything in twice baked potatoes? If not, I'd probably bake potatoes and just have the toppings for everyone to make their own baked potato.

Annie

Split pea soup? It isn't the most common soup for a dinner party, but with chunks of ham, heavenly. Or French onion soup? Kind of showy, with the broiled cap and all.

The peas and onions are easy, just separate them in small bowls and people can choose either, both or neither.

I hope we get pictures . . .

My question is how does such a picky person have the let's call them nerves to impose so many restrictions on the host? I think that's more than a bit overboard . Am I the only one that thinks so?

Pkguy - I totally agree. There is no way I would invite someone like that for dinner. I would invite her to eat out, go for drinks, have coffee, whatever.

But anyway, Sharon I think your menu is lovely and you are so kind to accommodae her food quirks. I like the idea of peas and pearl onions seperate, that would work for all, and Anns chocolate pate is heavenly. What about those savory palmiers instead of mushrooms? Remember those? Proscuitto, cheese, puff pastry, mustard.... they may have more universal appeal.....

Let us know what you decide

Alexa

PK and Alex, she really is a lovely person and would not be happy to know I was fussing about this . I know of her dislikes from other experiences over the years but this is the first time I've invited her for other than a BBQ.

I want to ensure she has a nice meal without having her pickiness impact the menu for everyone. I think it must be just awful to have so many dislikes...I wonder if she ever really tries anything new.....her DH is thrilled to be coming to dinner!!! LOL

My other guests love the stuffed mushrooms and the shrimp scampi so I'm serving it ...she can pass.

Annie, my twice baked potatoes aren't loaded just butter, sour cream and green onions.......she's good with that..I think! LOL

Alex, I think I'll add the palmiers. I'm pretty sure she would like those and instead of an antipasto platter I'll just offer a selection of cheeses, pate and olives.

Great idea about serving the peas and onions separately . I'll either do that or I'll just do a separate bowl of "peas only" for her.

First of all I think you are a thoughtful host considering her tastes. You must know her well. I'm sure she is a lovely person and I think that you are going overboard in your menu planning. Let her eat what she likes and maybe she will try new things. I'm also a picky eater but will try most everything except seafood. lol. Too me your meal sounds fantastic and I would find something that I like. Have a wonderful time and don't fret the small things trying to please all your guests.

I think you're totally on the right track, although you could omit the herbs from just the end of one of the pork roasts, enough for her serving, since they make the dish so delectable.

I would probably add a dish of baked apple or pear slices with maple syrup as a flavoring.

You are a very accommodating hostess and I'm sure she and her husband will enjoy and appreciate the experience.

Both my oldest sister and I were vegetarians from early childhood although my parents and middle sister were not. I never touched any meat until I was around 20 and my sister stayed vegetarian all her life. Believe me in that a picky eater can manage to forage through the offerings and find something to eat and be quite happy. You have to otherwise you knew you'd never be invited anywhere.

The one thing I refuse to touch to this day is any form of seafood. If it lived in the water I won't eat it therefore I've had to sometimes tell a white lie about being allergic if I don't know the host beforehand, politely of course. If it's someone I know well enough I just remind them, what else can you do.
There are other things like ribs, squab , bloody prime ribs etc that I would never cook for myself or order in a restaurant but as has happened they've been served at someones house and I just eat it.

Believe me your friend at her age has had decades of survival experience and will be quite adept at finding enough to eat from your original proposal. And her husband will probably be thrilled to finally be having some of the things he loves but she won't cook.

Chase, I must say you are very accommodating, gracious, and patient with your guest!

I was having a family dinner every Wednesday for a year. I started stressing about the next week's dinner Thursday morning.
DGS only likes raw veggies and nothing with mayo
DGD was allergic to peanuts and wheat at the time
SIL only likes simple meat and potato type food
DD doesn't eat calories
the HG is diabetic
All this and the pressure of trying to impress with memorable meals.

Perhaps this easy and delicious recipe will help some dealing with fussy eaters.

SHERRIED CHICKEN WITH GRAPES

6 chicken breasts, boned
1 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. pepper 1 1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. paprika
4 tbls. olive oil
4 cups seedless grapes (about 2 1/4 lbs.)
1/2 cup sweet sherry wine

Wash chicken breasts.

Mix together flour, salt, pepper, paprika and garlic powder. Roll chicken breasts in this until evenly coated.

In a large skillet heat olive oil until hot. Brown chicken quickly, turning frequently until golden brown.

Reduce heat to simmer and add grapes and sherry wine. Cover and simmer 1 1/4 hours or until tender. Serve with rice.

I guess if is just me, but I would take into consideration the guests likes and dislikes and fix food she will eat -- the rest of the guests will eat what she eats so why serve something she won't eat?

The appetizer is no big deal as there are two and she can have one. But I would not serve the shrimp but find something else instead (perhaps you could do a chicken scampi?) nor would I serve that soup if she doesn't like it.

I would probably do the herb roast two ways since you have to do two anyway. That way everyone can eat the same thing.

I would not do twice baked potatoes but regular baked poatoes -- twice baked look too much like a casserole in a potato skin.

I also would not do peas and onions together -- if you want to serve them separate that would be fine, if not, I would skip the onions.

When we have diabetic company, I always fix a dessert for the whole table that is diabetic friendly -- I don't tell everyone at table that it is but the diabetic guest knows and we all enjoy the same thing!

The one thing that I do do, however, is serve wine. If a guests choses not to drink, that is their choice. But serving wine is not the same as serving food that someone doesn't like and won't eat.

I have a friend who is lactose intolerant and when she comes the whole meal is lactose free. So that everyone can share the same meal.

Martha

Love your menu and its fun to pamper and cater to your friends. I do the same. Reminded to make your palmiers again!

...and agree on wine always!

While you have your prawns, Could she have a plate of smoked salmon withnsome brown bread and butter?

Smoked salmon...I swear she would faint dead!!!!

But you have twigged me to the fact I should have something for her to eat while we enjoy our shrimp. That would have been rude.

......but what!!!

Maybe if I scrap the cheese as an appy and make her a little cheese and crudity plate? She like lots of uncooked veggies.....or something with a baguette?

Maybe you could add the shrimp scampi as part of the appy's instead of during the sitdown. Or instead serve dinner family style (everything on the table at once - except dessert) so passing on couses would not be a problem. I am not picky but sometimes I do pass on things and just sitting there while everyone else is eating is OK, but all the comments - are you sure you don't want anything, can I get you something else, you don't know what you are missing, I can't belive you don't like this it's great..... when you have an empty plate and everyone else is eating it really shines a spotlight on you and makes you feel self conscious.

Are you serving the scampi over pasta? If so, you could set aside a a serving of the pasta, add some butter and serve it to her without comment when the shrimp is served.

No it's a broiled scampi served with lots of fresh bread for soaking up the juices....I can figure something out .

I'm thinking of toasting the baguette with lots of Parmesan, maybe mozarella, and serving her the same garlic butter sauce for sopping .....just no shrimp...unless she wants to try ..... ;)

I think the veggies with a dipping sauce would be fine for her while you enjoy your shrimp. Maybe you could add some spiced nuts to the appy menu for her. Does she like those.

These onion toasts from Mique are wonderful. Maybe for another appy option or to go with the veggies.

ONION TOASTS (MQmoi)
Easy appetizer I like to make with ingredients on hand or when unexpected friends stop in. From Gourmet.
14 slices party (cocktail) rye or pumpernickel bread 3/4 cup chopped sweet onion such as Vidalia or Walla Walla 1/2 cup mayonnaise 1/4 cup freshly grated parmesan
Preheat broiler.
1. Stir together onion, mayonnaise, cheese.
2. Arrange bread slices in 1 layer on a baking sheet and broil 6 inches from heat until lightly toasted (watch carefully).
3. Remove from oven and turn toasts over. Spread evenly with onion mixture. Sprinkle with paprika or freshly ground pepper, if desired. Broil until topping is bubbling and lightly browned, 1 to 2 minutes. Watch carefully to prevent burning. Serve warm.

SPICY SPANISH WALNUTS OR PECANS
2 tablespoon butter
3 tablespoon sugar
2 teaspoon each grated orange and lime peel
1 teaspoon ground coriander, cinnamon, and cloves
ü teaspoon each ground red pepper (cayenne) and salt
2 cups walnut or pecan halves
1. Melt butter in medium saucepan on low heat.
2. Add sugar, peels and spices.
3. Toss nuts w/spice mixture. Spoon onto cookie sheet.
4. Bake at 300 for 20 minutes or until nuts are toasted. Stir every 5 minutes. Let cool.

Sounds like a great evening and I know everyone will have a great time. Now, stop stressing....it's time for a glass of wine!

David

This post was edited by lakeguy35 on Fri, Apr 12, 13 at 17:18

In high school I used to work as a server in a retirement community. We had one resident, 96 y/o man, that generally was not a picky eater but had some weird food quirks. From a young child he was taught to chew every bite 100 times and to always finish his meal. Needless to say he would be the last person in the dining room every night. We used to have a menu item called parsleyed new potatoes, (roasted potatoes with parsley). I am guessing he didn't like the parsley because every time that was served he would eat everything else and leave a ring of little, tiny pieces of parsley all around the plate. I don't even know how he got them all off at his age but he obviously managed to somehow.

Goat's cheese on crispy baguette slices with a drizzle of honey.........sorry about the fish suggestion:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

Sharon, I would totally gobble up a baguette with lots of parm and mozzarella and garlic butter dipping sauce. Simple for you to do and very delicious. Good idea.

Sally

Thanks for all the help everything was well received and worked out perfectly

Appys before dinner consisted of a selection of cheeses, olives, smoked oysters and a hard salami along with Palmiers made with prosciutto and stuffed mush ooms. My picky friend really enjoyed the Palmiers and the cheeses. Her Dh was over the moon with the stuffed mushrooms!

I served her homemade baguette with garlic butter and cheese while we had our Scampi...she loved it.

I did the entire rack with the herbs and she raved...phew! Did whole baked potatoes and served the toppings on the side. Served the pearl onions separate from the peas but she did take some onions.

The dessert was a huge hit....who doesn't love chocolate!

Thanks again for helping me think it through ! it was a lovely night......

I was hoping to hear how your dinner turned out. Sounds like it was a pleasant experience for all involved. Kudos to you for being such a thoughtful and creative hostess!

Even though she is a nice person, I wonder how many of her other friends could have, would have met the challenge. Was she aware of your efforts?

Sharon, I never doubted that the food would be delicious and the company wonderful. I'm glad to get that report, though, just to bolster my opinion. (grin)

I'm glad she liked the herbs on the pork, I think that seasoning is what makes your pork roast so delicious and it would be a shame for her to miss out on that.

Congratulations on a nice party!

Annie

Glad everything worked out. It does sound like she had a good time.

Martha

Your menu sounded wonderful! Glad it went well and everyone enjoyed the food! Sounds like the picky eater, was maybe not so picky after all if she even took some onions :)

I find that people that are picky eaters are usually willing to try more things when at other peoples houses. At a restaurant or buffet, maybe not so much, but unless they are allergic, or totally adamant against eating something, most people will try at least a little bit at someone else's house. (my experience with company anyways).

Congrats on another fab party! You totally rock GF

Alexa

Doesn't surprise me that everyone, including the picky eater ,enjoyed your meal. I know first hand how good your Rack of Pork is.

~Ann

no pictures . . . :-(

You are all too kind...It was a lovely evening but I have to confess not very difficult to pull together once the choices were made.

For me the planning is the tough part but you guys always help me work it through and for that I am thankful.

We leave tomorrow on our cruise....no more cooking for me for a while....internet connections are iffy and very pricey so not sure I'll be around much in the next 6 weeks. Be good, be nice and eat well.

This post was edited by chase on Mon, Apr 15, 13 at 21:35

Travel safely, Sharon, and take pictures. I know I've said that before, but still....

Elery says don't drink the water, which gives you an excuse to drink LOTS of wine.

Annie

Fascinating thread, lots to learn from.

Thanks for posting, Chase.

Have a good trip.

dcarch

Hope you and Clive have a great trip, Sharon! I look forward to hearing all about it, of course including the Bon Appetit demos.

I hope you have a wonderful time! So fun....
Be good, be nice and eat well.
Hopefully, when you get back, everyone is still here for one reason or another.

I'll start something over in conversation......not sure how often I can update