My first thought is that they are so delicately flavored that all chopped up in a dip might overwhelm calamari. A local restaurant used to serve a warm calamari appetizer that was delicious, cooked in Moroccan type spices. Not sure if that would suit you or not, but this looks similar. And, I've made oven baked calamari rings before - pretty good- without the mess of frying.
Calamari Tagine (but no tagine necessary- can use a skillet)
Yield: Serves 4 to 5 as a main dish

1 1/2 lbs. (750 g) fresh, cleaned calamari
2 lbs. (about 1 kg) fresh, ripe tomatoes (or the equivalent canned)
1/3 cup olive oil
1 medium onion, finely chopped
5 cloves of garlic, pressed
1 1/2 teaspoons paprika
1 1/2 teaspoons cumin
1 1/2 teaspoons salt, or more to taste
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh parsley
2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh coriander (cilantro)
1 bay leaf
rosemary and za'atar to taste (optional)
------ For a Garnish ------
chopped fresh parsley
coarsely ground black pepper
wedges of lemon

Preparation:

Cut the cleaned calamari into 1/4" to 1/2" rings. Coarsely chop the tentacles. Wash, drain and set aside.
Make the Tomato Sauce

Peel, seed and chop the tomatoes. (Or, if the tomatoes are very soft, you can cut them in in half, seed them and grate them.)

Place the base of a tagine over medium-low heat. (The use of a diffuser between the heat source and tagine is recommended.) Add the olive oil, onions and garlic and saute the herbs gently for several minutes, or until they begin to soften. Maintain the low heat, and be careful not to burn the garlic.

Add the tomatoes, spices and herbs, and stir to combine. Cover, and allow the tagine to slowly reach a simmer. Do not increase the heat to speed things up. Continue simmering the tomatoes, stirring occasionally, for about 30 minutes, or until the tomatoes can be mashed with the back of a spoon and a thick sauce forms.

Add the calamari to the tomato sauce, along with a few tablespoons of water, and cover. Cook the calamari for about one hour, or until the calamari is very tender and the sauce is thick. Do not be concerned if the calamari releases liquid into the sauce; this is desirable and it should reduce during the cooking. Conversely, if you feel that the calamari is not as tender as you'd like, but the sauce has already reduced, add a tablespoon or two of water to the tagine to thin the sauce for additional cooking time.

Discard the bay leaf and garnish the tagine with chopped parsley and a few turns of the pepper mill. Wedges of lemon may be offered on the side.

I was worried about the length of cooking in this recipe, that the calamari might be rubber, but several online recipes say to cook in tomato sauce for 45 min to an hour. Not sure the appetizer I had was cooked that long, but it could have been because they would run out on busy nights, so it wasn't a quick recipe.

Here is a link that might be useful: oven baked calamari

Thank you very much olychick for your helpful suggestions. I may try the baked version - if not this time, I will definitely save it, as I rarely deep fry, and haven't mastered avoiding hot oil splattering onto my skin! The other recipe looks like I could work with it as well - wonder if I could use less tomatoes, so it's not so "tomatoey" given that lasagna with a big pot of tomato sauce is the main course, and I would leave out the rosemary (not a fan) cumin, coriander, to go a little better with the rest of the meal. We usually have appetizers sitting around the coffee table with a glass of wine, vs. seated at the dining room table. Wondering if the presentation of this dish is better on nice plates eaten more formally than "cheese & crackers" type food - meaning I don't usually use appetizers that you need a fork for - more like things to put on crackers, raw veggies, chips, pita, breads, etc. Of course that may mean that I need to branch out more, but the other (minor but worth considering) factor is I wouldn't have enough forks - I have enough for dinner and enough dessert forks, but wondering if it would be awkward to have to stop and wash them just to keep the meal going (that might sound silly).

I see what you mean...I missed the lasagna main dish, and it would be messy to eat. I was looking for a similar recipe with fewer tomatoes (you could do a curry sauce, but that kind of departs from the Italian theme) and found this. Maybe the skewers would be better for how you serve.

Here is a link that might be useful: Spicy grilled calamari

Here salt and pepper (or salt and chilli) calamari is very popular and easy. Essentially you add salt and pepper (or chilli) to taste to cornstarch. Add the calamari (in rings or split and the inside crosshatched) to the cornstarch and mix well to give the calamari a light all over coating. Shake off any excess. Toss into a hot wok with a little oil and stir until cooked (a couple of minutes). Scoop out onto a plate and add a little extra salt and pepper (or chilli). Yum!

One more idea, fewer tomatoes, but still fork food.

Here is a link that might be useful: Roadhouse style calamari

Thanks again. The grilled one sounds good, although for this particular meal, I probably won't be running out to the grill in the cold and dark while the guests are inside (I'm wimpy that way lol), but that would be good in the warmer weather - I must confess our grill generally does not get lit from perhaps Oct-April. The Roadhouse one and colleenoz' suggestion both require the hot oil method, which I was hoping to avoid, so I might just give the oven baked one a try. All the recipes sound good, so I will keep them for future options. I guess you were onto something with the delicate flavor perhaps being why it is never IN a dip, the way crab or other shellfish is.

Stuffed calamari are very good. I don't have a recipe. I just improvise. The stuffing is made with chopped tentacles, bread crumbs and herbs. The stuffed calamari are sauteed in olive oil then slowly braised in tomato sauce.

Jim

The hot oil is only a very small amount, just to saute, not deep fry.

Thanks. I'll look into the stuffed calamari. Colleenoz if the calamari is coated and you move it around in the pan doesn't the coating come off and stick to the pan?

How about this one, subbing calamari for the salmon? We love this dip on crackers.

Smoked Salmon Dip

6 oz smoked salmon (drained if you are using canned)
8 oz. cream cheese
8 oz. sour cream
1/2 package powdered ranch dressing mix
Mix well and grab the crackers! Good on toasted bagels too!

Thanks for the idea. I'm trying to minimize cheese in the appetizers because the lasagna already has three cheeses in it. Fear I'm sounding picky!

It's not coated in the sense of breaded, more a light dusting. And if the wok is good and hot it cooks literally in about 2-3 minutes so you're not stirring it around a lot. Why not have a little experiment? It can be a bit dodgy doing a new recipe/technique on the spot for guests, I usually like a practice run :-)

Ok thanks. I don't have a wok, just a large skillet and electric skillet and bad memories of hot oil splatters lol.

Wanted to thank you all for your suggestions - the oven baked link gave me an idea - I have a recipe for clam bake dip that I haven't made in a long time since my son can't have clams - I ended up substituting chopped up calamari for the clams, and it was good! Basically, I very briefly simmered the calamari in the defrosted juice & lemon juice. In a separate pan, I sautéed onion, garlic, green pepper in butter until soft, adding parsley, oregano, and a dash of tobacco/red pepper. Mixed everything together with a cup of bread crumbs, sprinkled with just a bit of parm cheese & paprika, baked 350 for 20 min.