Do you have another theme besides "black tie"? I found this wish upon a star card that is very detailed, but also really neat. It may be totally off base. Here is a link that might be useful: Wish upon a star card

Some say black tie means black. Some say black tie means formal. I don't think a skirt and top would be formal enough, but you know the event better than I. I had a black tie thing to go to so I made this Princess length dress. It's actually navy with black in the bodice fabric. the stole was the same fabric as the body of the dress, only reversed. Very simple design, jazzed up by the coordinating fabric.

Well, this may be yet another thing that varies with community, but for what it's worth: around here, when the invitation says "black tie," the women wear very dressy outfits, and what that means varies from year to year. In the last few years, at black tie weddings, I have seen long dresses, dressy short dresses, and plenty of dressy pants outfits, too (and I've worn all three myself and felt fine in each). It seems to be more the fabrics, trims, and cut (low neck or back, short skirt, tight, etc.), and even accessories (sparkling jewelry, evening bag, party shoes) that make the difference than length of skirt or skirt vs. pants. Dotty says she wants to wear a long dress anyway, so this is not relevant to her, but in case someone else reading this thread already has a party outfit that has pants, she should know she can go ahead and wear it to a black tie event (at least here, she could) and not have to run out and buy something new because pants are "forbidden."

According to Miss Manners, a dark business suit is "correct" even if the invitation says simply "black tie." But that is just the "rule" -- it doesn't do you any good if you feel underdressed. I always try to guess (or I ask) what the hostess is envisioning. Is her dream of a very fancy event? Then I will dress for that. She's usually the one who cares most anyway, and hosts treasure guests who help make the party happen the way they dreamed, don't you think? And it is a sign that you are taking their event seriously if you bother to dress for the occasion (whether that means dressy clothes, a costume, or whatever they seem to want). We just got another invitation that said "Dress down!" Somehow I didn't like that -- what would be wrong with "Casual"? I can't put my finger on it, but I felt kind of bossed by that, and my daughter did, too. Or maybe it felt sort of like the hosts were criticizing or judging people who have fancy parties? I don't know, but somehow it hit us funny. Big coincidence: I was just about to write that just this morning, someone called me to ask whether she should write "dressy" or "black tie optional" or something on her invitations. I told her that although I think people really do appreciate guidance so as not to feel self-conscious, I had just received an invitation (not the "dress down!" one) that didn't say anything about dress code, but the formality level of the invitation and the time and location of the event (Sat. night at a nice country club) made it clear that it is dressy but not black tie. Well, I happen to be sitting in a cafe right now, and just now the hostess who sent that invitation walked by! So I asked her, and she confirmed: very dressy but not black tie. Just before I typed THIS paragraph! I guess what it comes down to is that usually people in a community understand what dress is expected -- it has more to do with custom than with what the same words might mean somewhere else. But it's a problem when you are from a different community; you don't know the customs. So in that case, I would call the hosts and try to get a sense of what they are envisioning.