I've seen a few people who "project" what he might like. I'd like to project the opposite to show what other intentions this stranger might have. He might like to know that you will continue with him and with whoever he can send your way. He might like having that income. He might be able to concentrate fully, pay attention to detail, and advise you well. It is possible. He might appreciate that you will pace things out to suit his current situation. Any other way of projecting is (in my view) a self-serving way of cutting away from someone in need. He could have been "between insurances" when he found the tumor growing, and not felt comfortable about lying / hiding / non-declaring while filling out the application form for the next insurance. I said it "sounds like what I would hear about one of those third world countries. I'll bet this wouldn't happen in one of those countries that have state-run medical services" because in those systems he wouldn't have been fighting against his life savings when a doctor first spoke and said, "buster, that there thing is bad, and you are going to have to get that sucker taken out real soon before it gits ya." Cutting it out happens real fast when the payor is a great payor. There are no delays when the payor is clearly going to pay. It was a cancer, and the best time to snip it out and start following the recovery process was right away. When all you've ever seen is people hedging about when to do things and how much, it may be hard to imagine that some guy like this would NOT delay this kind of surgery. In fact, the doctors don't even present it to you as "you have to get it done" they just say, "we'll schedule it soon, and if you want more tests to be even more certain, that'll be fine too." I saw a remark above stating that even if it were to happen at no cost to him, he might have delayed it until too late. Hmm. Well, we'll never know, because he can't live simultaneously under two systems so we'll never know how he would have turned out under another system. About the medical coverage, my first comments at the top of this thread could be taken either way. So if anyone wants to thank me, I'm willing to hear it. Recently one GW member wrote that I'm also good at projecting, and even to the point of it being a pathology ... Oh, no! Do I have to declare it in all my insurances? Does this mean it's a downward spiral from here on? Am I stuck with the insurance company I'm with now?

I don’t have anything to start over with. We’ve had land for a year and our kids are only getting bigger in their shared bedrooms. I’m ready to just compromise and get it done. We chose a two story to make the footprint more affordable. Our kids are 7,9,13 so they don’t have to be next to us anymore. We are also trying to avoid bump outs to stay in budget. With wood prices soaring we have to cut somewhere. Staying below 2800 sq ft. If we could do 3100 I’d be done already! The study is for my piano which needs an interior wall. To reply to the two that liked the other “2nd” plan - that was my first pick a year ago. It’s the most expensive but I’m willing to bite the bullet. The main issue with that one was my husband just couldn’t get over walking into the dining room. But seeing all the above issues maybe that’s the lesser of evils.

I may have missed it, but I don't see how you have any leverage or guarantee for anything. I do not see how an attorney can insert you into this equation beyond being a lessee or having your equity (money put into the house) ever returned or realized. Because I understand the situation as thus: For your in-law clan, the house was owned by the grandparents. Now deceased, they willed the house to their children (your husband's remaining living parent, aunts, and uncles). Your husband is not listed on any deed. There are mineral rights making everyone googly eyed. The elder siblings have agreed, with stipulations, that you two young'uns can live there (as no one else in the family can, want or need to). You will use your money to remodel the house, however that money has to be borrowed from the elder siblings. When the elder siblings continue to pass, their children (your husband's cousins) will inherit their share of the property. You do not have children as of yet to inherit your portion that you will eventually receive when your husband's parent is deceased. How do you picture the future with an enlarged family of cousins having control of the house? And the more removed future generations are from great-grandpa, will they have any connection to the house whatsoever and the equity you have put in? How will the repayment of money occur that you borrowed from the elders? It sounds like the excitement of remodeling and maybe some pretty Houzz pictures of what it could be has masked the reality of the situation. You have to detach yourself from the emotional component. This is a bad living arrangement, and the monetary arrangement is even worse. A better solution is stay where you live now, and save for a future house somewhere else. Or, park a double wide on the property for you to live in. The farmhouse becomes a family museum.

When we moved into our house, I considered putting up a dividing wall in our lower level family room to create 2 rooms. Space is about 26 x 16. Decided not to because the big space seemed so open and we thought it would be a great family room. Ten years later, the reality is that it was never really comfortable or functional. Might have been good as a pool table/ping pong type family room, but for hanging out & watching tv (with fireplace), it always felt awkward and not cozy. A month ago we rigged a temporary wall diving the space, kind of a trial run, and it's a thousand times better. I feel like we put on an addition. The family room with very large tv and fireplace is now about 16 x 16, which actually feels just right size-wise. I was concerned it would feel small, but not at all. The other room (about 10 x 16) has fairly large double window, so stil has egress as bedroom. We are going to build wall and not worry about closets. Will use the room as storage, as we are sorely lacking. Septic would allow for another bedroom, but easier to just make it a "room", and down the road new buyer could add closets if desired. Still need to build final wall, but we are set on plan and wish we did it years ago. I guess my point is that sometimes that big space seems more appealing than it actually is, and a little division of space can create a more functional situation. I would go with option c.