Annie - I've been slow to read messages online because my girls just graduated kindergarten - the other end of the spectrum - even though my friends and I are old enough to have high school grads. . . Ashley looks beautiful and happy. I was touched by the scholarship story. We founded a scholarship when my brother died at age 28 and it has been a surprising experience because two of the students who received the scholarship kept in contact with my parents, including a Vietnamese student who came to the US with nothing and later gave my parents a hand-carved tea set as a thank you. The last thing I ever imagined was my father having a genuine affection for someone from such a different culture. Later, a young woman from the same college moved in two doors from my parents and she has my brother's old job at the printing company where he worked . . . 17 years later. Talk about coincidences. (She remembers the scholarship although she wasn't a recipient.) Her daughter is the same age as my girls and they sometimes play together. I'm sure Ashley will always honor the memory of receiving such a special scholarship. She really seems like a special girl. Karen

Keep a couple of things in mind before making your decision: digital format stores nicely and is convenient; however digital formats have changed greatly over the past few years and are expected to continue to change... think about those irreplaceable -and unreplaceable- Polaroids. If you do go digital, wrap the original photos in acid-free paper and then vacuum-pack so your great-grandkid has a chance to see them. Which is another thing, if you don't want these and your kids don't want these; maybe they aren't worth keeping under any circumstance -especially if they are out-of-focus or photos of your cousin's first dog. But if you do keep a few photos, be sure they (each and every one) are well-labeled and dated. DH has albums with pictures of many, many relatives -- some are marked 'Uncle Joe' or 'Mom's Aunt Sue'... no one now alive has the vaguest idea who these folks were, and although I've heard that Uncle Joe's real name was Donald I don't know his last name, and none of the cousins today know who was the "Mom" that had an Aunt Sue. Now me, I have no photos of any relatives, because mum was sure no one would ever be interested in the past -- and when I was in my twenties and thirties, I surely was not interested. So mum disposed of everything before she passed on. Nowadays, I would dearly love to have at least one picture of my parents or grandparents. And the last thought: If the group pictures are dated and you know the details (where, why, when the pic was taken), you may find an organization that would like to have them. Genealogical societies may interested if the people are well identified; and there are historical sites that collect dated photos of the world around us.

Very similiar situation as you describe. I am stepmom, age 45, married to bio-dad for 9 years. Kids are now 20 and 21. Never really heard a clocking ticking and after I had a few years of step-parenting under my belt never really listened for it. Our kids needed both of our attention so much I knew having our own kids would only create more disfunction for his kids. My theory is you should never have kids to fill emptiness in your life. Kids should be brought into the world to share your life with you when you have it figured out. Their bio-mom was a little off balance needing to replace her mother title with best friend and party partner. Kids had the time of their life being with their mom during the high school years as bio-mom had no rules. Now, bio-mom is living in a small house with no room for kids to visit. Don't ask me how she affords to live, she doesn't work but she is real nice to naive, suckers who give her money. Not really sure if she has had enough of the kids or they have come to senses about her. Problem is I got used to not having them around...now college isn't working out and they are both coming around to the stable enviroment...our house. Unfortunately I'm ready to cut the cord and begin enjoying our life before grandkids come. Our house isn't big enough for 4 adults, especially adults who seem to think daddy-o is full of cash. I know they are still young and they have a lot to learn. Really, because they spent so much time with their mom they are behind the curve in maturity and responsibility. So....I guess its up to the stepmom to have patience of a saint and get us through it. I love the kids, I'm harder on them than their dad or their mom. Now, they don't like it.....Later, when they have their own kids and it matters more I hope to have made the biggest impact to them. For now, I rise above and be the bigger person. The only thing I would have changed would have been speaking up earlier on in our marriage and having the kids have regular chores and repercussions of not completing their chores. Kids need structure and responsibility...they flounder for longer than necessary if it's not provided early on. Unfortunately, divorce creates a lot of guilt in both parents and no one wants to be the bad guy. The loser ends up being the kids as they venture into adulthood.... Stand your ground and communicate openly and honestly. It's your only chance.

When I had my last radiation treatment, I walked out the door, got into the car and DH and I left the hosp. and drove straight to Gulf Shores, Al. He told me he'd take me anywhere and that's where I chose. I walked on that beach at sunrise w/ a bad burn and no bra on, b/c of the burn. It was the most medicinal thing I could have done for myself. I cried like a baby and walked and walked. It made me feel totally restored.