In 1910, my great grandfather and all his children except his first born who had already married and had a family in Warrick Co., In, left Indiana for eastern Colorado. There, some 10 - 12 families homesteaded. My grandfather stayed for two years to help his father and mother, then headed back east to marry a little brown eyed lady he had met in Illinois when the family visited with other family before getting on the train for colorado. His sister married my grandmother's brother, so two of the families were double cousins, a shared life and closeness that still holds even for the last few still alive. In due time, he and my grandmother had their own homested. There were few trees, no lumber, houses were block and soddy, or imported wood. 180 acres, so even though they were family, they were not close. All my growing up years, my dad talked of his life on the prairie, growing up and loving it until the dust bowl years hit. He told of prairie dogs, hawks, sickness and quarantines, isolation with no Drs., crops that failed, snow so deep they tunneled to the barn to feed the stock, going barefoot in summer until their feet were so tough they could kick catcti, of driving a team of horses to make lister rows at age 7, of the Drs house that was so small they moved the beds out during the day so they could cook and eat inside; then moved them back inside at night; of riding familiar trails between the family farms at night; of ice cream socials, and cattle drives. There were 2 daughters and 8 sons in due time. My grandparents clung to the sand until there was little left on which to make the trip back to Illinois. Only one great aunt and her husband remained, and in time they purchased all the family land as one large cattle ranch. We visted now and again for family reunions while my dad was alive. Part of the entertainment would be a caravan of trucks traveling old roads long since abandoned, to see tiny little houses, sand blasted, desolate, that were 'home'to this family or that. Once I found a rattlesnake under a sage bush, ripped apart by a badger...reminders that we were interlopers there. We would return white with alkali dust, and memories sparked that would be the conversation for the rest of our time together. My grandparents did finally build a big 2 story house with room enough for all the kids, but it was part of what had to be left behind. It still stands, and all the brothers and sisters did go see it, once knocking on the door and introducing themselves and being made welcome. Even though they are not my memories, my dad's stories of his childhood were part of my childhood, a part of him always wanted to go back to stay. I can go back, find the house, visit with the cousins on the ranch, and be made welcome, but its just as well that it always be a memory.

I should have corrected this earlier, but the tea rose listed as 'Grandmon Schmidt,' is actually listed as 'Grandmom Schmidt.' TIA JD

Please use the new posted list, thanks.

Stop focusing on the other grandparents and focus on the grandchildren. No matter what or who the other grandmother is, you have to develop your own relationship with the girls. They will love you for you if you are loveable and fun no matter how much they love the other grandmother. It's not a competition and it's useless to compare. You are making yourself miserable. The other grandmother is not getting in the way of your relationship with your grandchildren. If she gets 10 hours a week and you get 2 every other week, make those 2 pleasant so everyone has a great time and great memories. Even if the girls enjoy being with the other grandmother, that doesn't mean they can't enjoy the time with you. People, children included, are drawn to what makes them happy and avoid what makes them unhappy. It really REALLY has NOTHING to do with her. Relationships have nothing to do with who buys children clothing, or spoons cereal in their mouths or what inane things are said on the phone. You are wasting your time criticizing this woman for what she gushes to toddlers on the phone or how she indulges them. Let their parents deal with grandmom, if she needs dealing with, and do your own thing. Eventually she'll stop doing that, and if she doesn't, the girls will eventually find her annoying and tedious. Overbearing, needy people (if indeed she is really as you describe her) always wear out their welcome. You certainly do not need to talk to grandmom on the phone if you don't enjoy it. I can see it would be annoying that she calls while the girls are with you, but it is only for a bit. There's only so much you can say on a phone to a 3 year old. Who cares if she is worried the girls will get 'too close' to you. That's her problem not yours. The girls will be close to you, and that's that. Just make sure you aren't doing the same. Think of her as McDonalds and yourselves as a 5 star restaurant. Maybe you don't go as often, but the experience is better. It's tempting to think you are entitled to your version of 'fair', as in more or less equal time, or equal babysitting, or equal clothes buying, or whatever. But that's not how life works. And grandmom doesn't love the girls less because she has other grandchildren, and you don't love them more because they are your only grandchildren. As for the hitting: toddler do that sometimes, if their parents are conscientious, they will teach the children how to do better. It's not the other grandmother's fault, it's just how kids are sometimes. Don't take it personally. Focus on your own relationship with them and less on grandmom. You'll be happier and there will be less resentment and stress on the relationship with your son, DIL and her family. The girls won't always be little; as they grown they will develop affection based on personality and experience.