The dog is to be a present for an 8-year-old boy;
I'd bet if you ask him, without giving him any clue as to the desired answer, what kind of dog he'd like, poodle wouldn't be on the list.

I have to agree with a lot of what has been posted here. You should probably consider a midsized dog for young kids. I have had 3 Rottweilers and 1 mutt. The mutt is still healthy, alive and kicking. The pure breeds had hip problems and went too soon. We just lost a Rottie a few months ago so I have been watching Petfinder.com to try to find a match to adopt. My mutt is 9 so I am being very cautious about traumatizing him with a puppy.

Skipping the puppy stage is a great consideration. If you rescue one that is a year old and in a foster home you can go meet him and interact with your children. The foster family can tell you how far along they are with their house training. They will most likely already be house trained if they are living with a foster family. Take your time and find a cute dog that pulls at your heart. You don't need a pure breed. The biggest gift you could give yourself would be to rescue one that has been trained and screened. You can just step in and be the forever family that your new dogs gets to worship and love. Take your time and take as much of a leg up as you can get (ie: already house broken) LOL

Once you fall in love with the dog, you will just deal with the hair/fur issues :->

This has not come up yet, but you might want to check with your home insurance company (once you've found your new home) regarding any breed restrictions in their coverage.

A number of insurance companies will not cover certain breeds of dog. I personally do not consider any breed "bad," but the reality is insurance companies get to set the rules, and it can be surprising sometimes which breeds an individual company might exclude.

My niece and her husband ran into that problem when they bought their first home. Even though they'd had their dog a number of years and had rented with no problem, their homeowner's insurance refused to cover. They were very attached to their dog and found another insurance company, but as a new dog owner this is an issue you can avoid entirely by determining which breeds the company excludes (if any).

Given your apprehension, it's critical the dog be one you can feel comfortable with on many levels - size and temperament being foremost.

The shelters are packed with wonderful dogs. In many cases they are "family" dogs whose owners, for a variety of reasons in this terrible economy, just could not keep them. Many are housebroken, obedience-trained and accustomed to life in a home with children. They are longing to return to family life.

One of the saddest things I've seen is those dogs who have known love and cannot understand why they've been left behind by their owners.

The same is true of rescue groups. If a greyhound is too large a breed, consider an Italian greyhound, which is much more diminutive and an extremely sweet breed. Our neighbor, a grandmother, adopted an Italian greyhound from rescue. Her dog is a wonderful companion and excellent with her grandchildren, whom she babysits throughout the week.

But I really think it comes down to you, finding a dog you can be comfortable with. Your son's enthusiasm may be short-lived. Even if he develops responsible habits and loves the dog, he'll have school and soccer or who knows what else going on, so much of the time it comes down to the adults in the household.

Jesse's suggestion of a rat is a good one. Our friends' son had a rat, and I was amazed at the affection and "charm" of that little rodent. (Of course, if you do then go ahead and get a dog, it'd better not be a rat terrier!)

Carol

I have to add my .02 in on this post. I do foster care for a shelter and have had a number of different breeds and mixes from the shelter AND that I have picked up from where people dump them. I live in an area where animals get dumped all the time. Right now I have 4 dogs and 2 cats. I mainly deal with cockers but have had other breeds, mostly mixes.

First off I have to say you don't want a small puppy if you have no dog experience. A dog is considered a puppy until it's two years old, so an older puppy would be your best bet if a young dog is what you want, say maybe a year old. Don't count out a grown dog, especially a rescue or shelter dog because they know when they are getting a second chance in life and usually appreciate it. I agree a mix is usually a healthier and better tempered dog. Pure breeds come with their own set of health problems depending on the breed. To get a healthy purebred you really have to do your homework to find a GOOD breeder and there can still be problems that is just a part of that breed. I personally avoid terriers, most I have dealt with are high strung.

One breed that I didn't notice anyone mention is a beagle. They are smaller, sturdy dogs, with good personalities and can adapt to most situations, be it apartments to farms. I would recommend a fence because they are hounds and if their nose gets on a sent they can be off and running. Beagles do shed, but with them having short coats it's not as bad as some breeds. I have to add that most hunting dogs make wonderful pets, coon hounds, beagles, spaniels, etc.

You may want to check out the Purina site, they use to have on their site a questionnaire to match your situation to the breeds best suited for you. Most mixed breeds seem to have more of the personalities of the breed they most look like, ex: a beagle mix more like a beagle; cocker mix more like a cocker, etc..

I think you are being wise to wait until you move before taking on a pet. And I also agree that a pet such as a hamster, rat, etc is a good test to see if you child/children are really going to help once a pet is brought into your home. My daughter was very good about helping with pets but it was still good ole mom that caught the bulk of it. You may even want to contact your local shelter to do some fostering for them as a trial run on how a dog would fit into your home and make sure no one is allergic to a dog.

My parents had beagles, and while they were lovely dogs they were also stubborn as all get out, and needed a very firm hand to make them behave. I wouldn't recommend a beagle to an 8 year old as his first dog.

I would also not recommend a beagle. They are a real dichotomy...friendly, social, cute, funny, playful, GREAT with kids, and sweet. They are also smart, stubborn, escape artists, runners, (they can NEVER be reliably trained to be off leash), diggers, destroyers, and depending on the individual dog, their barking and baying can rouse the dead. I adopted one 2 1/2 years ago and she was a HUGE challenge. Thankfully, she is not a digger, but has all of the other beagle traits. She is very small for a beagle, but could climb my 4' chain link fence. I added fence fabric, so she couldn't get her little feet in the openings, so she jumped it. My fence is now 7' tall. I tried to give her back to the rescue after 3 or 4 months, but they were full. I ended up keeping her, and she finally became a good dog. I love her to bits, but still has her moments! Unless you get an older one (3+ years), with known habits, I would only recommend a beagle to someone that is home a lot, has experience with dogs, and can commit the proper amount of time to train. And they do not respond well to negative training. The good thing is that they are VERY food driven, so most people train them with treats. It is a real shame that they are such a challenge, because they are really great dogs once trained.

I vote for working with several rescue groups in your area -- the kind that have the dogs in foster homes. As mentioned, they can tell you a lot about the dog's personality and habits, which is invaluable. If you go this way, please know that a housebroken dog might not be housebroken once you get it home. They are in a new environment, and don't know the rules, so there will be a period of adjustment. This isn't true for all rescues, but something to be aware of.

With your criteria, (the shedding issue really limits your options), I would put my vote in for a rescue standard poodle. They do come in medium sizes. The ones I've known are really great dogs, and your son could even get involved in agility with one. Linked below is an excellent site that tells you the "good" and the "bad" about many breeds. Keep in mind that the good and the bad are tendencies, and not all dogs of a particular breed will exhibit every good or bad trait. The guide is also useful if you're considering a mix, since you'll know the tendencies of both breeds.

The one thing that is worrisome is that you really don't want a dog. How does your DH feel about getting one? There really needs to be at least one adult that wants it, because as noted, your 8 year old may lose interest once the realities and responsibilities of dog ownership come into play. Some kids really step up to the plate, but most only want to do the 'fun' stuff, leaving the adults in the family to feed, walk, groom, clean up after, etc. I admire you for not taking this decision lightly.

Here is a link that might be useful: woof!

Weed, that i s a cool website! Thanks for posting it!

Linda

Another thing to remember is that your 8 year old may be leaving for college in 9 or 10 years. Dogs, especially smaller dogs, generally live longer than that. (Giant breeds don't live as long, but that's not an issue for you, since you don't want a giant breed.) Chances are your son won't be able to take the dog with him when/if he goes off to college, so, the dog will be yours to take care of at that time, if not already. Whatever dog you decide on, you better make sure you actually like the dog and want it, otherwise, let your son get a dog when he's grown and on his own. It would be nicer to you, and the potential dog living where it's not wanted. If you do go ahead and get a dog, I agree with those that say to adopt from a foster based shelter, and adopt an adult dog.

And yes, pets are expensive. I have 7 cats, and feed them high quality foods, and probably spend around $70 a month on food for them. Then there's flea treatment, which is around the same cost as the food, but that's for 7 cats. They don't get sick much, because of the food I feed them, but vet bills are never cheap. Before you adopt, check out all the vets in your area. Talk to the shelter people and people you know with pets, and find out who the best vet is in your area, and find out what they charge for their services. There can be a big difference in what vets charge for the same services. Sometimes the best vets are not the most expensive, but usually they are, so you'll have to weigh your priorities. Sometimes the most expensive just have the most expensive real estate to pay for. So, do you homework. I wish I could remember the name of a book that came out several years ago that matched dog breed personalities and traits with people personalities and traits. Check you library to see what they might have about dog breeds. I'm a mut person myself, and would never, ever, buy a pet from a breeder, but I kinda sorta understand why some people feel the need to do so. Sort of.

Good luck to you and your son, if you choose to follow through with this endeavor. Just remember, it'll be around a 13 to 16 or more year commitment, unless you adopt an adult dog that's a few years old.

Sally

You're welcome! To give an example that the website is only a guide, I will rate the notes on beagles. I've only owned one, so I'm no expert :)

Good:
* Is conveniently small, yet sturdy and athletic
* Is completely natural in appearance
* Has a short easy-care coat
* Loves exercise and outdoor activities
* Is good-natured with people and other animals

I agree with every one of those. They should have included how happy and puppy-like they can stay, even as adults. They are very funny little characters! Daisy does some things that absolutely crack me up.

Bad:
* An extremely careful search to avoid all the neurotic Beagles
- I believe this applies to any purebread.
* Slowness to learn and an independent "what's in it for me?" attitude toward training -- can be very stubborn
- I agree with the "what's in it for me?" attitude, but if you use treats, they learn readily. Beagles are very smart!
* Running away, oblivious to your calls, when an interesting scent catches his attention
- ABSOLUTELY!! Once they get on a scent, all of their other senses shut down, and they will NOT come back until the "spell" is broken. I have much experience with this!
* Slowness to housebreak
- I didn't experience this - Daisy learned quickly.
* Baying and howling
- Agree. Daisy is very quiet for the most part, but when she sees another dog or varmint outside, OMG! I can't believe the amount of noise coming out of that little dog! When on a scent, it actually sounds like they are screaming. People think they've been hit by a car.
* Shedding
- Yep. Not as bad as some dogs, but I do pick hair off of my clothes daily. I haven't figured out how to add an airlock that I can get dressed in :)
* A distinctive houndy odor
- Daisy doesn't have this odor at all. Her feet smell like Fritos, but so did Taco's, and she was a terrier/chihuahua.
* Chronic health problems
- I'm surprised at this comment. Most dogs have tendencies to certain types of problems, but I've not heard of beagles having "chronic" health issues. They're sturdy little dogs.

They should have added that beagles will do just about anything for food, and you have to be careful where you leave food and how you store it. Monitoring their food intake is important, as they always act like they are starving to death, so people tend to overfeed them.

My point is, the website gives some "worst case" scenarios, IMO, but is still an excellent resource. Think about it this way... if someone made the same type of list about children, nobody would have them!

*love* those pictures, they're right on the button!

beagles: "smart, stubborn, escape artists, runners"

My neighbor has 5 Beagles, & I've spent a fair amount of time chasing them down & lifting them back over the fence, sometimes to turn around & find them already trotting off, noses to the ground like vacuum cleaners, sucking in all the wonderful smells outside their yard.

I would suggest a dachshund puppy. They are small in stature and not too big when full grown. The mini one get about 7 -8 pounds when full grown. Right now we have two, a male min mix from a standard long haired dappled dad and a mini smooth short haired mom. Coal is his name and he is a very loving pup , very easy to potty train. Chew toys provided chewing surfaces and shoes were left alone.
The little female is a standard size long haired piebald. She has a black and tan mask with a white stripe running up between the eyes. The body is white with big black polka dots Her paws are white with small streaks of brown and black. She is more vocal than Coal is. She whines when left alone. She whines and growls when playing with Coal. Her name is Sugarfoot.They both are very happy to see us if we leave the house for any length of time and then return.
My 9 year old grandson picked out the dogs when his mother said he could have a dog. His grandfather put the veto on a big dog. Not enough room in the house with 4 adults and one child and then adding a large dog.

Dachsunds are really cool. I take care of 4 of them on a regular basis: Maximillion, Gengis Khan, Greda and Mitchell...and they are sweet and fun. I think a kid would have fun with one, but they are not usually run and fetch dogs. They will play, but not like a kid would probably like. Another breed of small dog that I have really taken a liking to is the Yorkie. What sweet and fun little dogs they can be! They are very affectionate and a great little size with alot of personality. I am a big dog kind of person, love my lab and will probably get a Golden Retriever next, but if I got a small dog it would probably be a Yorkie. They have a lot of personality in a small package.

Duane

Getting a dog is like having another child in the house. As the adults, you and your DH will be responsible for it. An eight year old cannot be. Any pet needs food, exercise, love, attention and medical care.

The yard will need "pick ups" and there will be hair on the furniture. Yes, the dog will be there too.

Food can be pricey as can the vet costs. My own dog is allergic to wheat, the main ingredient in many many dog foods, so a medium sized bag of chow is around $50. My last vet visit was $300 with the heartworm and flea meds. He has had three visists this year, one for a limp and x-rays, the other for the allergies and routine visits.

Who will care for your dog if you go out of town or have full day committments? They can only hold for so long before they, like us, need to hit the potty.

Research your breeds, talk to breeders, go to dog shows,(you can find them at www.akc.org) and think/talk about it. To help guage your son's "responisbility" level, have him volunteer at an animal shelter or care for a neighbors pet for a week or longer. He could even just take one for regular walks after school.

Having a dog or any pet can be very rewarding. I would not be without one, so I am not trying to be a downer. I have just fostered too many that were turned in to the shelter because the family didn't think it through.

You have all given us a lot to think about it. Thank you so much for taking the time to post such valuable information. I fully realize that a most of the responsibility of the dog will fall on DH and myself-that's just the way it is with kids. Luckily DH grew up with dogs and has realistic expectations unlike me who is fearing the unknown since I've never been through this. Right now, DH is pushing for a Goldendoodle (these mixed breed names crack me up :) The info I've seen says that they are non-shedding and hypoallergenic which is a pretty bold claim it seems to me. Anyways, I love the idea of looking into fostering to see if this is something I can do. I firmly believe that if I'm going to make this committment, we will do right by the dog.

Thanks again. I will be studying this information carefully. Oh, and one more quick question-if we have a yard for the dog to play in, do we actually have to walk it every day?

Tracey

I recommend a Maltese/poodle.(Maltipoo) Great mix, and good natured. We have one and they are so smart, and easy to train.My husband didn't want a dog, and now he loves him. They are like a kid, and well worth the money !!! They love you unconditionally. Good Luck !!! Diana55

Tracey, I have yet to see the household where the children take care of their dog. So, whatever you decide to get, rest assured it will be your responsibility.

I am not a large dog gal -- I prefer a size I can pick up and move. Friends' large dogs have stepped on my feet and jumped up on me, causing bruises. Not fun. Large dogs have also pulled 2 neighbor women (the owners) off their feet - one broke her foot and one fell back onto her head. Even my 20-pound dachshund is very strong - imagine an 80-pound dog pulling you or inadvertently stepping on you.

I recommend the pug - a comical, sweet and sturdy small dog with small mouths and teeth.

If you have a yard, you should still walk your dog on leash at least one longish walk per day. A well-exercised dog is a well-behaved dog.

For your first dog, you may also opt to get a grown dog who is already house-trained and whose temperament has been tested for child-friendliness.

I like Jessica's recommendation for getting a rat first. A rat or guinea pig. That would be a good test to see how animal-friendly your son really is. The rescue idea may not be a good idea because rescue dogs can come with baggage and may need a more experienced dog-owner.

If a large dog (or any dog) is jumping on you, bruising you, knocking you down or in any way hurting you, it has not been properly trained.

Sorry, don't mean to hijack or anything, but I have been bitten by my friend's lhasa apso, scratched by a shih-tzu, head-butted by a boxer, bruised by a yellow lab, and totally run over by a cocker spaniel.

Just stepping in to say it is not necessarily the size of the dog, but the way it has been trained/raised that forms it's habits/personality.

Linda

Sounds like you were attacked by a Great Dane Tracey. With all due respect to Great Dane lovers, I have known several people and dogs that have been attacked by this breed. I have been told that they are notoriously dumb. I was walking up a path at a camp I worked at and the person in front of me was attacked by the caretakers's Great Dane who came charging out of the house and attacked the first thing he encountered. And he knew the person too. Luckily she wasn't badly hurt, but that's because she kept her wits about her and managed to fend off the dog. She had a cut on her arm and it was black and blue for a while.

I lived with a lab for six months. They too are notorious chewers when young, and need a lot of attention and training. At least that has been my experience caring for two labs. They would definately be your son's best friend, but also a big responsibility. I like Golden retrievers and collies and Corgis for kids. All shedders though! I have known a lot of westies in my day, and all were very nice dogs, lots of personality but not totally dependent on humans to entertain them. Didn't a wheaten terrier win the big dog show this year? But yes, terriers can be diggers so you'd have to watch that.

Goldendoodles are adorable! They are likely to shed more than a poodle but less than a Golden Retriever. I don't know how hypoallergenic they are. Of course if you get a puppy he will be small when you get him and you will grow in confidence and love as he grows in size!

The dogs we have owned have ranged from an 85 pound Irish Setter on the large end (we rescued him when he was about 60 pounds and malnourished with skin problems and our son was six years old; there was never a problem with a big dog and a small child or the two cats we had at the time) to a 50 pound chow/boxer mix on the small end. Our first poodle weighed 65 pounds and Oliver weighs 70 pounds. None of our dogs have jumped on people - this is a matter of early and consistent training - not the size of the dog. I am only speaking of friendly encounters here, we have never had anyone break into our house or try to physically threaten one of us so I can't say what any of our dogs would have done under those circumstances. If a new owner thinks it's cute that a tiny puppy wants to jump up on his leg there are likely to be problems later with jumping on others. Even with a rescue dog at one or two years old you can quickly and with kindness train good behavior. Our most stubborn dog was the chow/boxer and the same rules applied, get the dogs attention, give him the command once and wait him out. Then praise him. I admit this can be difficult when you have to get somewhere at a certain time and the dog is not willing to "wait" at the door to the garage until you go through and tell him to come - the quick lesson for the owner is to allow time. Dogs are pack animals and you are the leader of the pack. Even though the goal is to only say the command once, I often found myself telling the chow/boxer, O.D. Hoover (short for Our Dog Hoover) that the subject was not open for negotiation.

We are really dog lovers, in fact we have adored all our dogs, but we have never allowed a dog to beg at the table, put his paws on furniture or his nose on the kitchen counter, or a coffee table with snacks or dessert on it. Dogs like to know what is expected of them and to be praised, given treats, petted and cuddled when they do the right thing.

A well behaved dog is a wonderful companion and a joy to take to an outdoor coffee shop, or even McDonald's outdoor seating or to a pet store and know that a quick "leave it" from you will stop his sniffing at the dog food on the shelves. In turn, your dog will love that he/she is just with you.

Maybe we have just been lucky, I am sure there are truly incorrigible dogs, which is why it is so important to know about the dogs background whether it is a rescue dog or a dog from a breeder. But you would be wise to avoid what shelter personnel and breeders would label as puppies from a backyard puppy mill. With two of our dogs acquired as young puppies, one purchased - one rescued, we only had two housebreaking accidents. It was helpful to get both puppies in the summer when it was easy to let them out frequently. We quickly taught the poodle puppy to ring a string of bells hung on the deck door to the backyard when he wanted to go out. The price we paid for that was that for about three weeks he rung the bells every few minutes so we would come and praise him when he went out and piddled a few drops. He would actually go out in his gravel area and pee a tiny bit and immediately look back at the door for one of us to tell him he was a good boy.

Crate training is really useful as both protection for the dog when you are gone and getting him used to chewing the bone or treats you have given him in the crate instead of looking for a chair leg (or in our one bad experience the sheetrock on the dining room wall). A crate should not be used as punishment, your dog should soon learn to regard it as his/her house. We have never needed to latch a crate overnight for more than two months, after that the dogs just knew it was their place to nap or sleep, and we have generally moved the crate back to the garage for storage after a few months except when we were traveling and knew we needed to leave the dog alone in a family member's house while we were out.

I know I'm on a soapbox, but whether you get a small or a larger breed, a puppy or an older dog, training and consistency will make you all happy.

Lee

Though I fully understand that you are looking for certain traits in a dog, I find the "doodle" designer dog craze to be a huge disservice to the canine community. Many of these crosses are bringing top dollar to backyard breeders who are just cashing in by selling mutts to people who don't know any better. If you want a purebred, then take Peppi's advice, go to dog shows, field trials, talk to local vets, rescue organizations, etc and find a breeder you can trust and has a good reputation. If you are looking for a mutt, there are lots of other sources than paying a lot of money to someone who is intentionally contributing to the mutt population. Those "doodles" do not necessarily bring the best traits of each breed to the table, it is often a crap shoot and if you get a puppy there isn't any guarantee that it will grow up to be what you are expecting.

Just my 2 cents on this.....

Alexa

Tracey, even with a fenced backyard you should still walk your dog on a leash several times/week. How long/far depends, of course, on the breed.

If left to their own devices in your backyard the dog is more likely to become a "problem dog". They are pack animals & want/need companionship. They're quite similar to a toddler. They need channeled outlets for their energy & safe ways to stay entertained. They get bored without the interaction. If they are bored, they'll find ways to entertain themselves. A bored dog may find climbing/jumping the fence can be fun. Or, digging a huge hole in the grass is also an entertaining way to spend a few hours waiting for your people to come home.

A long walk serves several important purposes. It's an opportunity for leash training, practicing good manners, bonding with you as "leader of the pack", burning off excess energy, & the exercise also helps to maintain health & fitness.

Left on their own, a dog will not exercise him/herself. They will nap in the middle of your cool, moist & shady begonia garden. About the only exercise a dog will do for himself is to run laps around the fence line barking at people/cars, etc. Trust me, the agility course a dog creates on his own will not likely meet with your approval!

You don't need to walk on leash every single day but several long walks/week is as important to your dog as it is to you (although you don't need to work on your socialization skills! lol)

The comparison to having a perpetular toddler is actually quite realistic. They do best with structure.

Going for a walk with your dog is one of the wonderful aspects of dog ownership, IMO.

/tricia

Regarding walks: a tired dog is a good dog. And it was said to me that if your dog is out of shape and overweight, neither of you is getting enough exercise!

Ditto Tricia.

Just a little more to think about since you aren't crazy about dogs. Dogs can be either "dry mouth" or "wet mouth" breeds. Wet mouth breeds slobber a lot and dry mouth breeds do not. If you are not a dog lover, you may find the wet mouth breeds kind of disgusting. Poodles, collies and several others are all dry mouths -- I tend to like those better, and took that into consideration when we were deciding which breed to get. Also, some dogs have some kind of oil glands that put off more odors than others (I can't remember all of this). Poodles, collies and several other breeds don't have this either. My vet explained this also.

We also were considering getting an older dog (about 1-2 years old) so that it would already be housebroken and trained. My vet mentioned that this would be great, as long as it was trained the way we wanted it to be trained. If not, we would have to re-train the dog. For example, the dog learns to keep your hours (waking and going to bed), the previous owners will train the dog as to whether or not it is allowed on furniture and can beg at the table, etc. So, getting a dog that is already trained is not always a good thing. Breaking the habits can sometimes be harder than training the puppy.

About the big dog fear... I think if you get a large breed dog as a puppy it will be small and you will not be afraid of it. Then, you can train it properly as it grows and therefore you will not have the fear of it that you have of strange dogs. You will love it and know that you can trust it.

We have a collie for my two boys and it is a wonderful dog. She's very gentle, intelligent and lazy. Her favorite activity is naptime :) I had a standard poodle when I was growing up and she was also a wonderful dog. I would recommend either of these breeds -- both are very loving, intelligent and obedient. Standard poodles are quite popular here, even with boys. They are used as hunting dogs a lot, too, so many men have them.

I prefer to get purebreds as opposed to mixed breeds from the shelter. I think you may end up with less health problems with mixed breeds, but not always. The reason we stick to the purebreds and reputable breeders is because most of the profiles (like what Weed posted) are pretty accurate about the breeds. This helps us to choose a breed that matches as closely as possible to what we are looking for (even in cat breeds there is a huge difference in personalities and traits, and these profiles can be very helpful). The more closely your expectations are matched, the happier you will be with your new pet.

And finally, I find that females are much easier to housebreak because they don't have the instinct to mark their territory. That is another decision you will need to make -- male or female.

I think you will enjoy and love the dog as much as your son. My parents got my standard poodle for me when I was in first grade. She died my 5th year of college. She was like another child to them, and we still miss her.

Tracey,

I have little to add. Lots of good advice. personally, I think Goldens are the perfect family dog.

I am worried about your terror of big dogs. This is not good for you or your son. I would suggest that before you get a dog, you volunteer or find some "safe" way to expose yourself to larger breeds. Even if you don't get one, it will help to make you feel safer.

On the children help note - my children helped tremendously with our dogs. My son walked home from lunch everyday in 5th grade to walk and socialize our new golden puppy. One time his class was going on a field trip and his teacer insisted that he run home and take care of "Fred" before the class left. His pride and love was immense. When Fred was 14 and quite frail, that same adult son came home at Christmas and told us that it was time to let him go. Lots of life lessons came from that one dog.

Best of luck in entering the joys of having animals as part of your family.

Best, Adele

Tracey says she is afraid of large dogs, and this will be her first dog. So training will be a big learning curve, and if she is afraid of the large ones, I think it makes it harder to manage/train one. You don't want to be afraid of your own dog. Of all the dogs I know in the neighborhood, I can say maybe 1 in 10 are perfectly trained and have no bad habits like pulling, jumping, etc. That "perfectly" trained dog seems to be unattainable for most people, including me.

Anyway Tracey, you have lots of dog lovers here that will help you every step of the way. I've loved dogs all my life, so I can't relate to the adjustment you will be making. But you can bond with dogs as if they are your own children. They are wonderful creatures.

If you choose a shelter or rescue group which carefully assesses their dogs for behavior and temperament, you won't have to worry about "baggage."

If you choose a purebred dog, look carefully at its papers and lineage, not just the breeder. Some lines are very inbred (father-daughter breeding, sibling breeding), and this increases the likelihood of health problems. (Puppy mills are notorious for this.)

With cats or dogs the issues are much the same. When we got our Korats, we met the breeder, the tom that sired our kittens and the mother. We saw their living conditions and how they were socialized.

As already mentioned, a dog is huge commitment. My personal choice would be two short walks daily over three long walks weekly. A dog confined to a backyard without socialization and activity will be a miserable animal.

A dog is a huge commitment far beyond what you might imagine. It's admirable that you're being so careful. I personally know of two dogs that lived over thirty years. This is the exception, but your son may be married with children of his own before you say "good-bye" to the dog you choose, so it's crucial that you pick a dog you like and can connect to.

If you decide upon a dog, after having measured all the pros and cons, think about pre-selecting two-four you feel comfortable with and then let your son choose from those. Your feelings are the most critical. You can't have an animal in your life that you fear or are averse (or even indifferent) to. It's not fair to you or the dog.

Carol

I know this might be a suggestion from far out in left field...but what about a cat? Cats are really great...I have two and they are wonderful companions. Even my mom, who didn't want anything to do with cats (her dad, my grandpa hated them..for some odd reason?) fell in love with a cat I brought home after leaving home and having to return in the early 80's due to job/financial reasons. She cried when I moved out..not because I was leaving...but because I was taking the cat (Silver). I returned Silver saying he didn't like my new place, but I knew he would be happier back at my mom and dad's place. Anyway, I digress, cats are really great and a great first pet for a kid....depending on the kitty...they are affectionate, easy to care for...no need to go outside..no dragging dirt in the house and just all around great pets. Just another 2 cents from a dog/cat lover.

Duane

ditto to what Duane said

I will have to reiterate what Jessy and Gina are saying!!!

As the mom of 3 boys 9, 12 and 17 with a dog that is 8 (we've had her since 9 weeks)...They do very little with or for her...It starts out all good....but then their lives become their own and the dog is "mom's" duties...

There is no right answer...my biggest suggestion is to find someone that needs a "pet sitter" for a week...and for your son to realize just how much work goes into pet care...and then for you to realize that whatever work it is...sooner rather than later...it will be your job.

If I was doing a "Family" pet all over again..I'd go with a rescue, that is at least 2-3 years old..well tested by a reputable shelter or one that has been in someone elses care that you could get to know a little bit.

If you are inclined to forgo shedding (or atleast try) don't get anything with lab, shepard, collie in it for sure!

My girl is half border collie half Aussie and she is on the tail end of full on coat blow in December!! Even though our temps were 30 high or less for a week..she blew out her winter coat...which means that she will now get another one!! to blow out in the spring!!

I recall picking my Malamute up from the groomer and seeing a pile of gray fur that haven't been taken up yet on the floor, It was the size of my dog. I asked about it... it was my dog's fur.

OK, I'll weigh in here. I've never met a Jack Russell that wasn't hyper, nippy, high strung and noisy. Every one I've ever seen can jump about 5 feet straight up into the air and does. Repeatedly.

I had the WonderWeiner and I loved him to distraction. However, if any dog was ever going to flip me off, it was WW. They can tend to be strong willed and stubborn. I did teach WW to fetch, twice. The third time he'd look at me and say "you threw it, you go get it". LOL He was a long haired dachshund so he did shed.

When I was a teenager I had miniature poodles. Minimal shedding, smart as whips, friendly and not yappy. They don't have to be fou-fou dogs.

I also concur with Readinglady's grayhound recommendation, as long as you have room for them they are wonderful animals, friendly and docile.

Beagles? I love 'em but they are everything mentioned, but louder, LOL.

And now there's Cooper. He's a Sheltie, like Ann T's Stetson. Smart, friendly, willing to please, weighs about 21 pounds. BUT, he sheds like crazy, needs daily grooming and is very active. He may calm down a little because he's only a year old, but he's a herding dog and needs to work.

Also as Readinglady mentioned, many breeders have inbred so badly that dogs have genetic health issues. WonderWeiner came from a kennel in Iowa where they bred dachshunds to hunt rabbits, they are a hound, after all. Most of my best pets came from the shelter or were given to me by a neighbor whose dog had puppies, etc.

Oh, and the District Judge has a Corgi, he was absolutely opposed to having a dog, got one for his boys and absolutely adores it, if that helps at all.

Annie

We have Maine Coon cats that are very dog-like in personality. They are obedient, cuddly, playful, and follow me around the house. My cats are totally indoor cats, so they rarely need baths and always smell nice and clean. I leave out a perpetual food and water bowl, so I can leave them alone over night or even the entire weekend, if necessary. Much easier to take care of than the dog!

We have a rough coat Collie (like Lassie), and their personality is completely different than the border collie personality. Rough coats are much lazier. My dog is 6 years old and she naps most of the day (from 7am-4pm). She likes short, slow walks and will play fetch for about 10 minutes at a time, then needs a rest. She hates to run, and never runs fast. At the dog park she likes to watch the other dogs play. The only herding instinct they have is that she can't stand for her family to split up --- if we are out on a walk we all have to stay together in a group. If we separate, she barks until we get back together. She bumps her coat once a year. As soon as I realize it's happening, I take her to the groomer for a "power-rake" and they spend about 5 hours combing it all out -- very little shedding after that. My cats shed more than she does. The shedding is the only con to having a collie.

I'm going to comment on whether or not to get a pet for your boy and who will be taking care of it. Yes, you will probably end up doing most of the care (and I think you already admitted that). When I was a child my mom did most of the actual care of our dog, I really wasn't responsible. But, I was an only child and that dog was wonderful for me. When I was lonely, frustrated, or angry I always had my dog to talk to and she always made me feel better. She always listened to me. Whenever I would get really angry at my parents and "consider" running away (at 9 or 10 years old!), I could never do it because I knew I couldn't leave my dog and I knew I couldn't take her with me (never got past the thought of running away thanks to the dog). I think for an only child, dogs can be very important in a child's life, she was my best friend and confidante. Today, I have two children of my own and we refer to my dog all of the time. Whenever one of them is having a bad day I usually suggest they go spend some time with the dog -- she's always happy to see them and just immediately lifts their spirits. We also talk a lot about how we should try to model our life after her and how she doesn't let the little things bother her. She's saved us hundreds of dollars in therapy! When my children get hurt and cry, or are sick, the dog (and cats) stay by their side in the bed until they are better. I'm not sure a rat or guinea pig could do the same. I've received so much in my life from my pets, that I feel very strongly that all children should enjoy the opportunity to have the love of a dog (and or cat) also.

Off my soapbox now.

The reason we went with a breeder for our dog, was because temperament was very important to us. We wanted to know the temperament of the parentage.

Our last dog was a golden retriever we had rescued from a shelter. When we rescued him, DH and I were childless, and didn't really have any friends with children. After a couple of years, we started to see indicators that he was afraid of kids, and even had a few incidents of fear biting.

When I became pregnant, we found a more appropriate home for him. It was heart breaking, but we felt it was the responsible thing to do. But this also made us wary about owning a shelter dog, while we still had small children in our life.

Before we made the decision to get our new puppy, I had to be ok with knowing that I would be doing the majority of the work. Yes, the novelty of dog ownership wore off on my son very quickly, as was expected. But he still pitches in to help when asked, and I love to watch them together. I come from the belief that every boy needs a dog.

Tracey,

You've gotten a lot of good advice. There are a lot of breeds that may work; some that may not work. All dogs can bring out fear or uncomfortable feelings, no matter the size. I think you should start out slowly and visit many breeders/shelters/veternarians..... Check out some books from the library and do some research on caring for and training dogs.

All I'm going to tell you is since you have concerns/fears about dogs, YOU need to select the dog. You do not want to own any animal that YOU are not comfortable with, since you probably will be the primary care giver and YOU have to be the BIG DOG! Don't fall for the cutest one you find; you need to establish a connection and be comfortable with your pet.

I say DOG because I think it might be best to start with a dog that has some training. This will help you establish your role as the "alpha dog". Puppies can be exceptionally demanding and will try your patience as a new dog owner (must like young children).

I've owned animals (birds, cats, dogs, fish) all my life and having pets can be rewarding. I've had pure bred and mixed breeds. I've found there are less health issues with mixed breeds but you won't know until you become the owner.

One more thing; you and I live somewhat close by. I know there are a TON of shelters around here. Dogs are getting dropped off daily because people can't afford their pets or don't spay/neuter. If you take your time and visit often, you will make a connection. That's really how you'll know when you've found the right dog.

Regardless of what breed or size dog you decide on, I think some kind of formal training classes would be advisable. You will get lots of great hints on training, and learn lots of things about the behavior of dogs through a good trainer. It definitely makes the training easier on both you and the dog.

dees_1 --- I could never take your advice. Do you know how many dogs and cats I would own if I visited the shelters often???? I could make lots of connections with those adorable little faces!! :)

Again, thank you everyone for taking the time to help me think this thing through. There's so much to consider that I really get overwhelmed by it. My only real experience with dogs has been with my MIL's cockers and to say that they were unpleasant to be around is an understatement. They constantly would steal food from anyone, especially the kids. My boys would walk around with their hands up in the air if they had food so the dogs couldn't reach it. If someone left their purse around, they would dig in there and chew up anything they could, lipstick, personal items, gum, mints, etc...If someone left an open can of pop, they would be found licking the can. Whenever we had family gatherings, they were constantly trying to jump on the table to get to the food. I could go on...I always asked my SIL if this was normal behavior and if so, why on earth would anyone want a dog? She assured me it was a lack of training. I'm really leaning now towards a dog that's a little older as some of you suggested so we won't have to go through the chewing up everything in the house phase. I really do appreciate all the words of encouragement. Oh, and DH is allergic to cats so they are not an option.

If anyone has any books to recommend, that would be great. Like I said, we aren't in a position to do anything just yet, but hopefully the house will sell and I need to be prepared. Thanks!!!!!

This is a wonderful book that talks about a philosophy of raising and training a puppy. It has been around for quite a while, but I love they approach they use in this book. The theories can certainly be applied to an older dog as well as a puppy, so I would definitely suggest reading it no matter what age dog you plan to get. Check your local library.

Alexa

Here is a link that might be useful: The Art Of Raising a Puppy

Since you are not accustomed to being around dogs, it might be useful to go watch a few dog obedience classes in action. The pet store chains have ongoing classes that would be easy to view. Check with smaller pet stores too as they would know local dog trainers.

My experience is that some breeds are "chewers" and some, less so. We got our dog as a puppy and she never chewed anything -- not even any of her toys. She's just never been interested in that kind of thing. The only food we've ever had trouble with her stealing off the table is pizza. She loves pizza. She goes absolutely crazy when she sees a pizza box. When she was younger (1-3 years old) she would steal any unattended pizza. Now she just sits and stares the entire time we eat it and can't relax until we are done. We keep a box of her treats out on a table right by our front door (she gets one every time she comes inside), and it is in easy reach of her and she has never touched it. Also, we have a swinging door to our pantry where we keep her food and all of our food. She knows that's where it is and when she is hungry she goes over there and barks or nudges the door with her nose. But she has never, ever tried to go in there and get some food. We also keep our perpetual food bowl for our cats in our laundry room and she is not allowed to eat from that bowl. She goes in that room, but never eats from that bowl. Dogs can be trained, it just takes some time and effort. You sound like you are willing to put in the time and effort it takes to have a well trained dog. And I think well trained dogs are much happier dogs because people enjoy being around them more.

My inlaws have 2 cockers that have to share the couch with you. It's very annoying, but their owners have trained them that way. If your mother's dogs were the only experience with dogs I'd had, plus the one that attacked you, I can understand why you don't like dogs. But believe me, dogs can be wonderful companions, given the correct training. I'm sorry, I don't know a good book to recommend, other than one that came out years ago and I don't remember the name of it, so that doesn't do you any good. It was about matching breeds with people - how to pick the right breed of dog for you. It would be useful if you want a pure bred, but I'm not into pure breds as a rule, so it didn't stick in my mind.

Sally

The pizza reminded me of a funny story. My dog Duke knows when we order pizza. We always give him the crust. So if he hears we order pizza for delivery he immediately runs to the front door (in the summer) and looks towards the road where the driver will come down to deliver. I always have to remind him that it will take a few minutes...won't be here that soon....but it's funny how he hears that word 'pizza' and starts looking out for the driver asap.

The other funny thing he did before we got the big screen t.v.....was when we had a regular 36" down to his level...and a Burger King commercial came on...it featured a huge picture of a Whopper....Duke walked past the t.v. and give that burger a big lick! It was so tantalizing!

Dogs are great! They will put a stamp of love on your heart.....as long as you are willing to open you heart to the love of them and forgive them their disgressions.

I have seven here at the house now....my dog Duke, a spaniel, a mini-poodle, 2 dachsunds, a mini-schnauzer and a westie. They are all repeat visitors and very enjoyable. Tonight should just be a jockey for the best position in bed since they all want a spot except for my dog and one of the dachsunds! Fun stuff!

Duane

Duane, my dogs did the same thing! The minute they heard the word "pizza", they were

I remember that pic Weed. Taco and, and, I can't remember! I remember a pic of one of them hiding in the closet during a storm too.

Tracey, I can't add anything to all the good advice you have here already. I will say that I'm a firm believer that any dog no matter the bread will behave based on it's owners training and disposition. I know a pitt bull that will lick you to death and not ever think about biting or attacking you. It really comes down to training and that is the responsibility of the owner. Search the web, read up on different sites to get info on the different breeds.

David

David said, "I will say that I'm a firm believer that any dog no matter the breed will behave based on it's owners training and disposition."

dlynn said, "Dogs can be trained, it just takes some time and effort."

Our children can also be taught to be very significant caretakers of our family animals. By the age of 8 or so, they can do much. The responsibility teaches them to take care of those more vulnerable than they are. If the parents are doing all of the work, I would look to the parent as the cause of that problem, not the kid.

Adele

Sometimes for a treat we give our dog a "pizza dinner" -- I sprinkle parmesan cheese on her food and make a big deal out of it by calling it pizza. She just goes nuts over it. Every now and then we save a pizza box and put her dog food in it and that's a really cool treat! We always joke around saying she'd love being a college student living in the dorms or a frat house with all of the pizza they eat!

Boston Terriers are portable, fun, and sleep well. A springer spaniel is loyal, trusting, and active when you are looking for a companion. We have a nova scotia duck tolling retriever. Full grown, she should be about 40 lbs. Ours is bigger all over (but still thin) and weighs about 55. The breed is a great size, but these dogs do NOT want a lot fussing. They have a temperment much more like a border collie. My other dog is a golden chow. He is my shadow and loyal as the day is long. My only concern with daushounds is that I read they have the highest reported incidence of biting. But they are sure loved on the CF. Finally, I would look into a king charles cavalier spaniel. Always described as a big dog in a little body.
Good luck.
Jo

Jo, WonderWeiner never bit anyone, ever, wasn't even nippy. On the other hand, Elery's chihuahua has bitten me twice, he's a PIA. The only other dog who has ever bitten me was a black lab and now the neighbor across the street from my stepmom has a very aggressive black lab, Animal Control has already been called twice for dog bites, one more time and the dog gets put to sleep. My Grandmother had a cocker spaniel who was a "submissive wetter". Everytime he got excited, he peed on the floor, very annoying habit. So, I'm not sure those things are "breed traits" they may be particular to specific dogs.

I like big dogs, Amanda has a lab and St. Bernard Cross that's smart, friendly, but a little over protective of the kids. She will grab the back of their shirts when they try to slide down the slide because she doesn't like them doing things she thinks may not be safe. She doesn't like them to use sleds either, LOL. However, I do not like big, stupid, slobbery dogs, the ones who sit and slobber, or dance around saying "yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll fetch that ball a million times, whatever you want, just to make you happy, yeah, yeah, yeah". They all have their own personalities and you have to find the one that "fits".

And, as dlynn said, if I went to the pound regularly, I'd have a LOT of pets. Sigh. I just couldn't leave them there.

Annie

I am a dog person and agree with criteria stay away from a Parson Russell Terrier. They are wonderful dogs if properly exercised and mentally stimulated otherwise they can be off the wall. A Portuguese water dog, might be a good choice, or a Sheltie. The Shelties shed but it is the type of hair that sits on the floor till you vac not the type that stick into everything like little needles. They are very devoted & easily trained & tough enough to keep up with young boys.

Portuguese water dogs are a working breed that requires a lot of training by a confident owner and vigorous daily exercise. If they have that, they are smart, loyal, playful pets. If they don't get enough exercise and become bored as a routine, they can be rowdy (jumping, mouthing, and chewing) and willful. I wouldn't recommend a Portie to anyone who doesn't have the time, energy or interest in giving them daily vigorous exercise -- running, swimming, obsticle course work, etc.

Tracey- you've gotten lots of great advice here.

Perhaps you and your son can volunteer together at a shelter? Allow him access to the dogs, and get a sense of what it means to take care of a dog. After you move, there may be one you are both willing to bring home, or he may have had enough of the "dog-fantasy" and have moved on to other interests. At least you'd know before you have a dog you are not sure of living with you...