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| From time to time someone starts a thread about how poorly they were treated or how common courtesies have gone by the wayside. I don't typically respond to them, mainly because I like to dwell on the positive, but today, in just a few minutes, the following happened:
1 - As I was turning in to a gas station, I stopped to let a homeless women continue along the sidewalk to cross the drive before I made my turn. She smiled and motioned me, then I smiled back and motioned, "no, you first..." and we played that polite "you-first" dance a time or two. Then... 2 - I pulled behind a pickup truck where the driver had just gotten out to start pumping gas. He noticed that the driver in front of him was just finishing, so he motioned to me to wait a moment. He got back in his truck and pulled forward to that pump so I wouldn't have to wait. When I finished filling my tank... 3 - I drove out onto the side street and was behind a car waiting to make my right turn (he was turning left). He saw me in the rear view mirror, and scooted forward to make room for me to make my turn. I waved thanks and drove off. One short series of events, one really good-feeling day. And when I thought about it, these moments happen way more often than those showing a lack of courtesy. Just thought I'd share it. |
Follow-Up Postings:
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| One of my pet peeves has always been people not holding doors, or not acknowledging when someone holds a door for them. Well, last week I walked into Dunkin' Donuts to get a cup of coffee and a guy who was in front of me didn't hold the door. But, he was far enough ahead that I wouldn't have expected him to. When I got inside, he turned to me and apologized for not holding the door! |
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| I agree, Ann, I see a lot more kind and polite people than insensitive or discourteous ones and in my job I deal with the dregs of humanity sometimes. There are still more good people... Most recently, it was the teenagers. I had at least 3 or 4 teenagers bringing their small siblings to trick or treat. Every one of the older kids stayed back, didn't come up for candy, and I walked out each time and gave them some. One boy was about 15 and had his little sister, a fairy princess in a party dress with a pair of Dollar Store wings and butterflies painted on her cheeks. She was maybe 3 or 4. He had two of his friends with him, both teenage boys. I know that his parents are divorced and that his father lives in another state. The Fairy Princess petted Cooper and announced that her brother and his friends made her a fairy because her Mommy was at work, wasn't she beautiful? Yes, she was indeed. And when he said he was taking his little sister trick or treating, his friends came along with him. So that one little princess had her 3 teenaged knights in shining armor, making sure she got to trick or treat and they took turns carrying her on their shoulders when she got tired. As payment for their chivalry, I provided them with a handful of Snickers bars in lieu of gold and jewels and told the Princess she could come and play with Cooper whenever I was home. Annie |
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- Posted by lpinkmountain (My Page) on Tue, Nov 2, 10 at 13:52
| Yes I was amazed by the number of teenagers I saw trick-or-treating this year. All were polite, said thank you, and many came with younger siblings. And I agree, doors are opened, people let me into traffic, etc. WAY more times than the opposite. |
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- Posted by dirtundermyfingers (My Page) on Tue, Nov 2, 10 at 22:18
| Annie, Thanks for posting that story, I got tears in my eyes reading that. What a wonderful story and what wonderful young men. That is one lucky little fairy princess, but she might not be so happy when she is a teen with 3 "big brothers" checking out her dates lol! Stacie |
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| Great stories! Love the trick-or-treat kids in your neighborhood, Annie! All I have to offer up is that tonight a woman held the door for me at my voting place....and even let me go in and vote front of her (musta been the crutches). But when I went to leave, (amid the dozen or so voters coming in)I struggled to get the freakin' door open and then the darn thing blew open so I had to crutch over to the back side and fling it as hard as I coould to get it to slam shut! LOL Ah well.....Life is good. Linda |
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| I always let the big trucks change lanes in front of me. I figure (1) they are getting my goodies to Target (2) truckers have a very hard lifestyle and anything I can do to make one thing a little easier will ease someone's day (3) because my BIL used to be a trucker so I know. |
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| I always let people in ahead of me if at all possible. It just makes my blood boil to see some poor guy trying to turn left into a street, and no one would think of backing up to let him through. So then there are 2 lanes backed up. This Friday is our Random Act of Kindness day in our city. I look forward to it each year. I spoke to a woman in a wheelchair and gave her a toonie for a coffee. She was just thrilled with that small gesture. I also paid for the coffee of an elderly lady who was eating breakfast. Holding doors open, and letting people go first, either in a grocery line, if they have just a couple of items, and letting people in, in traffic, is just normal, for me. Does anyone notice, how *seldom* women say Thank You when you hold the door for them? I certainly notice it! |
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- Posted by cloudy_christine (My Page) on Tue, Nov 9, 10 at 11:28
| Gee, do I live in an especially polite area? I wouldn't have thought so. It's the northeast part of the country, not known as the most courteous, LOL! I know when I went to North Carolina I noticed that people are far more polite. But holding doors, and thanking people for holding doors, is standard behavior here, and people who don't are thought of as jerks. Maybe the defining thing is being outside the big cities. Drivers in long lines always let cars in from side streets. Why be a jerk? |
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- Posted by cloudy_christine (My Page) on Tue, Nov 9, 10 at 11:35
| I wanted to follow up on Annie's post. I think teenagers get a bad rap. All the teenage trick-or-treaters said thank you. Mostly I find that teenagers are polite, maybe not always socially graceful, but they don't shove you aside or let doors close in your face. The only people who shove me aside as if I weren't there are old men! |
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| It's really true there are so many good people in the world. Your story is fantastic Annie! Very memorable. This weekend, we played the Florida Gators on Saturday. It was unseaonably cold, so coffee was in order. Evidently, all the fans thought so, as Starbucks was packed! The man in front of me, a Florida fan, obviously not a Nashvillean (nor a Vandy fan, as I am!), asked his daughter to save his place in line because he had to take his son to the bathroom. She didn't want to. When I offered to save his place, he seemed wary??? but let me. We ended up having a nice conversation. I hope he left Nashville a bit happier to have met us, but I wondered did he not encounter this behavior often enough that he needed to be wary? I think most people are farily friendly. Curious. The neighborhood I just moved to, it is the standard for people who are driving stop and pull over to let cars, bicyclists, runners, etc. pass. It's a "cut through" street, that is only 5-10 minutes from downtown, so it is somewhat unusual, but I really like it! Nice, easy-paced, kind people. Makes me feel all warm inside to drive down the street and have city folk waving hello to me. I always say thank you when someone holds the door. It doesn't bother me if someone doesn't say thank you (what bothers me is someone rushing to go out the door I am opening to go in, but those folks are rare, THANKFULLY!). I also let the person who held the door for me go in front of me in line, if there is one. You'd be amazed how amazed they are. I tell them, "Just because you held the door doesn't mean you end up farther back in line, that's not fair!" Nine times out of ten, they won't take the place. I like those nine the best, the most gentlemanly. |
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| Rob333, that's a GREAT idea, of letting the fellow who held the door open for you, get ahead of you in line! I'm going to do that from now on. |
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| Back before everyone from all over the states and the world moved here Huntsville and Madison County was a polite and extremely mannerly little town. It's that way no more! It now depends on what part of the county or city you are in. Everyone in the rural areas are very polite, mannerly and shows true Southern hospitality. In the areas in the county which have built up quiet large you don't know what kind of person you are going to encounter. Then in the city it largely depends on which part of the city you live in. I did live in a very small town outside the city and I almost gave up on my fellow man. When I moved where I am now my faith in humans was once again restored. It hurts no one to open a door for someone, let someone in a traffic lane or say thank-you. You wouldn't know that some places. |
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| I'm sorry you were uncomfortable with the changes to your town, beverlyal, but I disagree with the city/rural deliniation or the "foreigners moved in and ruined our town" concept in general. I live in a community of about 80,000 people within a city with a population of nearly 10 million. In our community, we have a huge spectrum of people from very wealthy to homeless, recent immigrants to many generations living/having lived at the same household, transients passing through to transplanted midwesterners like myself. Our town is not without its problems, but common courtesy is not one of them that I experience. I think much has to do with our own attitudes. If we open doors, look people in the eye, wave thanks when someone lets us cut in front, smile, give a compliment to someone who serves us, I truly believe it comes around. OK, I'm sounding a bit Pollyanna-ish, perhaps, but that is my experience. I've spent much of my life traveling in nearly every state in the U.S., and many different countries. I don't feel that common courtesies have gone by the wayside in my lifetime. |
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| I live in the suburbs of Detroit and I can tell you that although our city gets the worst reputation probably in the world...and often times deservedly so .....I am often times take aback by the kindness and just general politeness in every aspect of my situations out in public. People asking to let me go ahead of them in line if I only have a few items at check-out for instance. I own a pet sitting company and when my dog Duke passed away 4 weeks ago one of my clients sent me a floral arrangement and a few others sent donations to the humane society in his honor. Several others sent cards. They didn't have to do that...it was kindness and it meant a lot to me. I think we hear a lot on the news of such terrible stuff that humans (so called) are capable of) that we forget how wonderful people can be. One story that happened years ago: In 1974 my dad was seriously injured in a motorcycle accident. He didn't have full coverage but the agent for his insurance company (State Farm) ripped up his policy and back-dated a new policy and brought my mom a $10,000.00 check to keep the family afloat until my dad was back on the mend and back to work. To say I am a State Farm customer for life is a fact...I don't care if the prices are a bit higher....I'm not switching! Things like that make a customer for life. Duane |
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| Hey Duane, I just saw a youtube on my old Brightmoor neighborhood in its current state. It's good to hear that human kindness remains alive and well in spite of the circumstances. My mom gets so much help since my dad died 2 years ago. (She's not too far from you.) Even the guy who cuts her lawn has offered to be on call should she need help with something. |
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- Posted by sylviatexas (My Page) on Fri, Nov 12, 10 at 16:41
| "Does anyone notice, how *seldom* women say Thank You when you hold the door for them?" I'm sorry to hear that. I always say thanks, & I've noticed lately that more & more boys, including little ones, hold the door open for a woman. |
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| Wow Spacific, I didn't know you grew up in Blightmoor (LOL)! I lived there as a child and my grandparents lived there too. It was kind of rough even when I was a kid in the mid-to-late 60's...but a different kind of rough. You might run into a neighborhood bully who would give you a black eye.....but nobody would shoot you like later on! When I was 10 years old in 1969 we moved to Old Redford or as a Livonia police officer who pulled me over said: North Brightmoor! Well, anyway that area is still rough and although there are some gains it is not a good area......most areas of Brightmoor still look like bombed out Beirut. 5 minutes driving time outside of the area are beautiful brick homes with swimming pools and fantastic yards etc. Go figure. I have to say we have a lot of very nice people...but one day you can run into a bunch of A@@@@@'s and the next extraordinary kindness....probably the same just about anywhere. Duane |
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| We were there at the same time, Duane, (from 1958-1980) though I lived in a pocket that still is sort of decent, between Lamphere and Ernie Howell park. I used to ride my bike to the Brightmoor Community Center for Saturday classes. A |
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