bungalow_house, I often define my preferred design period as "pretty much anything from 1880-1920"! :-) I did end up in a ca. 1900 house, but it lacks virtually all the interesting details I noted above with the exception of a porch. It's a small (~1250sf, but originally around 900sf) millworker's house in an old factory town so it was built pretty plain to begin with - no built-ins, no fancy moldings, no wood paneling/wainscots. The floorplan and front bay window (and the original two-over-one windows, now in some landfill somewhere *sigh*) are pure Late Victorian, one old photo we've seen showed a slightly Eastlake-ish shingle-and-clapboard exterior and two exterior doorknobs are quintessential Eastlake, but the plain wide moldings, chamfered square porch posts and solid porch walls instead of spindled railing are more reminiscent of early Arts & Crafts. We looked at a few Queen Annes that were fancier and that aroused major houselust but all needed a huge amount of work and were barely affordable even in their decrepit states. Megabummer, I'd enjoy decorating around inlaid floors and stained-glass windows!

My father made a great moment out of the rehearsal dinner - I can't remember all of what he said, but the main part was that he read a poem that I had written him for father's day - over 20 years ago. It was kind of generic, about how a father needs to be caring but firm, etc. He read the poem, said how proud he was to be my father, and to be gaining a daughter-in-law. Then, he gave a copy of the poem to my fiancee! So my advice is to go back in time, write a poem for your father, then hope he holds on to it across a couple decades and decides to read it as a toast. It works great.

I don't know; I think it's a mistake to focus too much on the photos. The photos are supposed to be a memory of the day -- how it really was, how the people looked. The day's not supposed to be a setup for perfect photos. It's one thing to ask the attendants to match (although lately I prefer it when even they don't). For others not in the wedding party, even though they will be in photos, I think it's too much to dictate their clothes (beyond the usual formality guidelines you put on the invitation for all guests) to the point of asking them to choose harmonizing colors. Even at weddings in our community, where the parents stand up with the couple through the whole ceremony, they don't wear matching clothes, and it always looks fine -- like real people dressed in their best for an important occasion. Another thing to consider: this seems to be the bride's father asking what his wife, the bride's stepmother, should wear. I would be very careful to consider whether even she, let alone he, should start asking about having her dress look good in photos; it may be misunderstood. When I got married, my mother-in-law (she's wonderful, by the way) would not stop asking me about what she should wear, what my mom was wearing, and EXACTLY what shade the attendants were wearing so she could match them. No matter how many times everyone told her it didn't matter WHAT color she wore, she kept at it. She sounded ridiculous, like she was trying to play bridesmaid, or at the very least rather narcissistic, as if what she looked like at the wedding should be everyone's chief concern. This is a different situation, but I think that if there is any kind of discomfort or touchy feelings, the OP (or his wife) should at least be careful in how they phrase any questions like this so it won't be seen by anyone as the stepmother trying to make herself more a central character than they want her to be. That may not be the slightest issue in this family, but in case it is, I'd keep it in mind. I note that the OP didn't ask whether they should ask the bride about the stepmother's clothes, just whether black with teal jewelry would be okay. In my opinion, sure -- more women guests at dressy weddings seem to wear black than any other color. Just avoid looking like you are dressed either for a funeral (= "I disapprove of this marriage"), all white (= "Look at ME, not the bride"), or for picking up sailors (= "This is a beer blast, not a solemn occasion"). But in any event, as a general rule, I don't think that the mothers and grandmothers (or fathers -- horrors, what if someone wears a clashing tie?) need to ask about their clothes. If it's so important to you later that everyone in the photos look matchy-matchy, photoshop their clothes later (or use B&W prints).

I've never heard of a speech by a father of the bride either. But I guess I'd better find out - that's a role I will be stepping into sometime in the fall of '08; my oldest daughter got engaged last Friday. Exactly when does the speech take place? I was a best man once and gave the customary toast. That turned out OK, but I'd appreciate some details on the FOTB speech. BTW I've even agreed to take dance lessons, at the request of my daughter, for our dance together. You don't know me but if you did the fact that I did agree would tell you how much I love her; I HATE to do it!!! Thanks in advance for your replies.