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Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Posted by dedtired (My Page) on
Wed, Sep 14, 11 at 13:15

I have a feeling I know the answer to this question already, but here goes. For more than 20 years I have had a problem neighbor. Let me say that I live in a lovely neighborhood in one of Philadelphia's nicest suburbs. Across the street from me is a low life family whose property is not kept up, who keep numerous old cars around and who have very loud fights with each other using foul language.

Things are slightly better since all the kids are grown and gone, except the oldest daughter who has come back to live there. There were four kids, the two oldest from her first marriage.

The stuff I have witnessed over the years has been pretty incredible and I have called the police when things were out of control and the children seemed at risk. I've also reported cars that were left to rot in the street -- not inspected or registered.

Now the fat disgusting husband has started to stand inside the front screen door totally naked! He did it this morning while yakking on the cell phone. I came down the stairs and nearly had to goudge my eyes out after seeing this and it is not the first time. Unbelievably, the guy is a lawyer -- kind of an ambulance chaser.

The house is not set back far from the sidewalk so anyone driving or walking by could plainly see him. This includes kids who would be walking to the bus stop in the morning (it always seems to be in the morning).

My first reaction is to just stay out of the whole mess. I hate them and want to have nothing to do with them. I could just pull my curtains until the coast is clear. However, another part of me thinks I should report him to the police, even though I don't want to get involved.

What do you think? I honestly don't think he is deliberately exposing himself to children but I do believe he is an exhibitionist. I actually snapped a couple pictures of him in case I have to prove my point. I may have to throw my camera away after that!

Aaaaargh -- why me??


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Oh my. Although it's a serious matter, it cracked me up that you're taking pictures. You go girl! I can just see you running around the house..."where's my camera? Naked guy is at it again!"

Okay, seriously....He's totally an exhibitionist and doesn't care about what he does in front of kids, otherwise he wouldn't be there. It's really not that hard to NOT be naked in front of people.

He's an educated man. Of course he knows kids could be in the area.

Wacko. I'd rat him out, but whatever you do, do it anonymously.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Print out a picture and drop it in his mailbox along with a bottle of Extenz.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

FOAS! Bad boy. Actually he could use it from what I was able to see (or was trying to not see) -- anything protruding beyond that fat belly would belong in the Guinness Book. I guess I don't dare post the picture here. Unfortunately it's obvious that the picture was taking from my house.

Lori -- that is exactly what happened. It was like "please don't move before I find my camera."

I really hate these people with a white hot hatred.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

What's his profession? They don't sound like people who'd make their mortgage payments. Gotta wonder... Do a lot of people come and go all the time?


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and...

He is a lawyer. His father was Superior Court Judge for the state of PA. He was also a big fat jerk. This guy only got through law school because his father pulled strings and I think it took him four tries to pass the Bar.

No, no one goes in that house but the family. Anyone else might not come out alive, it is such an ungodly mess in there. I can see the stairs going to the second floor when the door is open (and when he is not standing there exposing himself) and there is hardly room to put one foot on each step for all the junk piled there.

His wife bought the house before they were married and it still belongs to her. They've refinanced it a couple times (public record)but they must be paying. She bought it for a song at least 23 years ago, so the payments probably aren't much.

I wish I could pick my house up and turn it in another direction so I don't have to look at them.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Is there any way you can get photos that aren't taken from (and hence traceable by location) your house? Lots of fun to be had if you can, otherwise I'd keep those to yourself.

Can you contact the school and its entities (district supervisor, PTA) and let them know that kids may be at risk? Better yet, the local newspapers?

Unfortunately it sounds like even if you fix this one problem, you are still going to be dealing with the rest of it.

Tall bushes between your home and his?


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

He is a lawyer. His father was Superior Court Judge for the state of PA.

Whoa!

He was also a big fat jerk.

Did you know his father too?

Somehow this makes it all sound even more like there's something really abnormal with these people.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Pam, I'm LOL at your neighbor. I know, I know...you don't think he's funny. But, it reminds me of a situation I had at the bank.

I was a commercial work-out officer & handled mostly construction loans. Long story short...

I was foreclosing on the personal residence of a builder who had defaulted on his commercial construction loan for half a dozen spec homes. The bank had required a lien on his personal residence as secondary collateral (not unusual).

Day of the foreclosure...

I was at the property standing on the sidewalk with counsel & we were just chatting about weekend plans waiting for the auction to start. Casually, a man walked up to me & said, "You with the bank? Thought you'd like to see this." Egads, it was a picture of what was obviously the house I was getting ready to foreclose but in it's earlier life...a gas station! (Not all that uncommon in New England. The house I'm living in now started life as a hot dog stand in 1943, for example.)

My attorney & I were aghast. We'd done due diligence. She had pulled title & I'd reviewed her work. I'd pulled ALL town recordings. Everything we had indicated the home was build in 1974 (this was c. 1989). Well, what to do? I wasn't about to foreclose on an ex-gas station. Hazardous waste & all that stuff...

Quickly, I told counsel to tell the auctioneer we were going "absolute auction". (sigh) I knew the bank would lose a lot of money but it seemed better than the possible site clean-up costs. As a bank, the State would not allow us to resale the property prior to remediating all traces of contamination. Anyway, the auction started & an older, thinly built man was the only person bidding against me. I kept edging him up in first $10K increments, then dropped to $5K increases. He started to fidget & took longer between bids. I HAD to sell that property to him. So, after he bid...I motioned to the auctioneer to stop & bring the hammer down. Whew, sold. The weird little man paid me in cash on the spot in a dirty yellow envelope. Hey, what do I care. It's cash. No closing docs to prepare. Great. I'm done. Say goodbye to counsel & thank the auctioneer. Head back to the bank after telling the man how I'd handle the deed transfer since I didn't have a deed with me (most of my sales were not cash).

Two weeks later, I'm at my desk & the phone rings. It's a woman claiming she lives down the street from the above house. Says the weird little man has been riding a motorcycle up/down the street wearing nothing but a skimpy loincloth flapping in the breeze, said she has 3 daughters, & wants to know what I'm going to do about it? ME? You gotta be kidding? Not wanting the bank's name on the front page of the local paper, I stalled & got her number. Two hours later, she's standing in the bank lobby with 8x10 color glossies marked as "Exhibit A" of the dude on his bike with his loincloth blowing in the wind. Geesh. Not pretty. Why me?

So, with color glossies now in my possession I'm sorta forced to do SOMETHING. I phoned the cops. We had a good chuckle & they said to bring the pixs by the station. I did. Dang. They recognized him immediately. Had a warrant out on him for a trenchcoat-esque episode at the elementary school a couple years back. They arrested him that afternoon. The story made the paper afterall but at least it wasn't negative.

I had to go to the trial & testify about the auction & the "8x10 color glossies". "Good afternoon Tricia, have you ever seen "Exhibit A"?" roflmao

Good luck with your neighbor. I'd call the police. They see this kind of stuff every day & know how to deal with it. Let them handle the guy.

/tricia


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Our local paper has a "police blotter" as many do. Although I had had to call the police on them several times in the past, none of it ended up in the paper. Why? Good old dad.

Now his father is dead, so I wonder if he would be as protected.

Tricia that is quite a story! I am stunned that the police didn't get the guy long ago -- didn't the neighbors say anything?

I am thinking of calling the police -- not the emergency line, but their office number and asking if I can speak to someone about this. As much as I want to do the right thing, I don't want to get dragged into ti. I know heir answer will be " the next time you see him, call us." There's not usually much they can do unless someone is caught in the act. Maybe they will be more aggressive knowing that it is a family neighborhood.

Jessy, I really did think of planting a tree in my front yard to block the view but I don't want any more roots in my sewer line!


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Yes, Pam, two weeks after the guy bought the house at my auction & moved in the neighbor lady called me at the bank.

I don't know where the guy was living before he purchased the auction house. I was only allowed in the court room for my testimony so I didn't hear the rest of the trial.

As most commercial bankers, I could write a several volume book on weirdos I've encountered lurking in my portfolio of about every sort. Something about bad economic times seems to bring them out of the woodwork. The above happened during the last RE crash following the S&L debacle. Seen enough I'm not shocked/surprised by much anything anymore.

/t


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

I have to say I haven't read the whole thread, but I'm wondering if the poor guy isn't starting to lose his mind. I don't know, I think there's a whole lot here than I want to get into. There's two sides to every story and I think this poor schmuck needs a helping hand.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

a helping hand? hahahahaha!!! Annie I'm sure you didnt mean that the way I read it. It's early and I'm being a bad girl.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Annie, he has been a big fat stupid ugly schmuck for at least 24 years. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt if I could, but I can't.

His brother is a successful lawyer and his sister is a dermatologist. They both seem like okay people and they stay as far away from him and his equally awful wife as they can. Part of his problem may be that he has sh!t for brains and could not keep up with family expectations. Who knows. All I know is that I have to live across the street from this wreckage and I don't intend to be forced to look at that.

The only helping hand I'd like to give him is a shove off a steep cliff.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Around the corner from me and across the street is an elderly couple who have lived in their house since the dawn of this development. They are very sweet. They have a 40ish grandson who lived with them for a while. He seemed a bit behind schedule in the maturity department. He didn't work and was often out in the driveway on his skateboard with a homemade ramp. Odd but harmless. Then he started leaving "love" letters for my neighbor, A, who lives right across the street from his grandparents' house. He also stood naked in his bedroom window and took care of himself, so to speak. This happened in front of A and her children. J, A's husband, went ballistic! They called the police who came but the grandmother, who had begun to seem bullied by the grandson, would say he wasn't home. The police never entered the home. J managed to snap some photos. He was eventually cited and has a restraining order against him. He had to move away to the great relief of A and her family.

I was oblivious as my house faces away from that street. Alice never saw him in his glory either, thankfully. It's not okay to stand in your door or window naked.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Okay, here's what I was greeted with this morning along with screaming and fighting and foul language. Wifey dear running around outside in her underwear and BFSUS (big fat stupid ugly schmuck). At least he was clothed even if his shirttails were hanging out.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

I have decided I am going to write a blog about them. Maybe I will be the Anti-Pioneerwoman.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Hahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG I'm dying laughing. Does she have a top on? Or no? Hard to tell.

Please use a zoom lens next time.


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yeah

Black bra and used-to-be-white panties. Yeah, I've got to improve my photography skills.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

You took the picture exactly right. Everything blurry. UGH! Even if it had been reasonable top and bottoms, that's awful revealing. icky.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

That's what I figured -- no one wanted to see the details. Ha. I have to figure out a name for my blog about them.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Is his shirt on backwards?!?


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Nope -- he has on suspenders and the shirt is kind of caught on them in the back. LOL.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

I was afraid to scroll down to the photo!
Women do not go outside in their underpants. Well, not middle-aged women. There's something really pathological here.
But,that never stops the reality-TV industry. Maybe your blog will get them a TV show. At first it will be even more disruptive, with the cameras and crew and the trucks, but eventually they will make so much money they will move away!


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Okay, CC, you will never believe this but I SWEAR I am not lying. Their youngest daughter (who is actually the only sane one in the family) was on a reality show on MTV. I am not kidding.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Wow Pam!
Me personally, I'd make a complaint with the police. Go to the precinct and report the nudity. Make note of the time of day. Then let the police handle it.
Btw...do I know of this family?

Cheers!
Susie

Ps....if you want, ill stop over and when he exposes himself we both can go.outside, stand on your front lawn and laugh hysterically!


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

OMG....that is totally disgusting! Yep...I would report it to the coppers, let them do the dirty work!

Altho I do like Susie's idea, too! LOL

Linda


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Bad situation. Can take away 20% off your property value if you have to sell your house.

Documentation is important to back up your complaints to the proper authorities (police, and perhap Department of Buildings zoning)

Check your digital camera's manual, many cameras have a time lapse or interval function. Set it up to take pictures every few seconds.

I think my camera can take 30,000 pictures.

You can set it up in your car away from your house, if you don't want to let them know that you are monitoring them.

You will need to set up the camera to lower resolution, and get a larger memory chip for the camera. You will need an external battery and a tripod.

Good luck.

dcarch


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

I'm not sure they're doing anything illegal. He's inside his own house, so how far he has to be from doors and windows is kind of a gray area. She's outside, but no more exposed than she would be in bathing suit. And you're dealing with a lawyer.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor what to do?

Most states prohibit lewd or indecent acts if they are visible from a public vantage point. For example, a man in Georgia was convicted for masturbating in front of his window that was visible from a public highway.

If he is a lawyer, he will have to worry about his record if he is found guilty.

dcarch


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

I don't see how standing naked -- full frontal nudity -- by a grown man behind a screen door that is two car lengths from a sidewalk kids use to walk to the bus can be legal.

I don't want to get him disbarred or arrested, although I would not be sad if that happened. I just want him to be forced to stop. Actually, if he was disbarred he would then be home all day and I sure don't want that.

I wish I had been taking pictures and keeping notes for the past 20 years because it would be great fodder for a blog.

Thanks for the photography tips, dcarch. I'd like to be a better photographer but not of them.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Watch out for a lawsuit. Especially if he thinks you might sue him, he'll sue you first. Yeah, I know it's not in his interest to have this known, but these people are nuts.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

I'm not going to sue him. I may call the police on him, but there is nothing illegal about that.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

I'm not sure I would call the cops if I were you. I have a neighbor that does some very annoying, and illegal things, and our HOA has said if anyone sees "xxx" happening to call the police, not the HOA. When he was reported the police officer that came out happened to be a friend of his. He was only given a warning AND the cop told him which neighbors reported him. Now he's very angry with those neighbors for reporting him and he's making their life miserable. You might want to see if another friend or relative (someone that doesn't have to live directly across from them) would report them. They could say that they were driving by and noticed him.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

I don't care if he knows it's me. Our police are wonderful and would never favor one person because they may be friends. All I want is for him to stop standing nude at his front door. I don't think anyone would find that unreasonable. If BFSUS tries to make my life more miserable, I'll call the police again. I know they already have a file on him because of his past hijinks.

I'm going to let it go for now, but the next time I see it, I'm calling the cops!


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Send a note, anonymously, of course. Write it as if you are the parent of a school age kid. Suggest that writing to you makes you very uncomfortable because you respect the privacy of the home notion, but that you feel compelled to let him know that your child, and others, saw him naked as they walked to ____________. It was upsetting enough to your child that he/she voluntarily told you about it. Say something about how perhaps he isn't aware how visible he is and you are certain that he would appreciate being told.

Jo


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

I think I would probably write the letter as Jo described, make copies for yourself and send a copy to the police dept. This shows that you are a considerate person and not a troublemaker. Then document any further "exhibitions" with photos and see if you can get another neighbor close by to casually walk by and see him too for further documentation. If others nearby see him also, you will have further proof of his shenanigans and they may back you up in contacting the police.

I've had neighbor problems in the past, and after the worst incident, another (good) neighbor told me that she was sorry that she didn't stand with me in dealing with the awful neighbor.

Teresa


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

That's what I need -- other neighbors to speak out, too.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

A well worded letter should do the trick. I would not send it to the police because it is anonymous.

Jo


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Keep a journal over a month's time and photograph them every time they appear in public view sans appropriate attire as well as the public fights, etc. Take your documentation to the police and ask them to speak with the neighbors. Make it clear that you that you require anonymity.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

That sorta sounds like stalking, even if she calls it "documenting." The neighbors dont seem to think they're doing anything out of "their" ordinary and may feel just as violated about being photographed as OP does about looking.

He's in his own home. I think, OP, that you may be hoping that this just might be the issue that gets them out of your hair for a lot of other reasons. I'd be careful with the camera. If it is really against
the law to be naked in your own home in your community, even at the front door, just call the police.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

The weather has turned chilly here so maybe that will keep Mr. and Mrs. Barenaked inside the house until next summer. He cut the grass this morning. He keeps all his tools, like the extra gas can, inside his favorite storage shed which is an old Mercedes that has sat in his driveway for the past ten years, rusting away.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Pam,
Are the old cars on the street? I do know we have ordinances here that prevent people leaving clunker-junkers that do not have current registration stickers on the street. Also, we have ordinances about folks not mowing their yards or having them be unsightly. I'd check into your city laws about this; an old rusting Mercedes in the drive could be a violation of some ordinance.

Teresa


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

He used to have unregistered cars in the street, but many neighbors complained about that and the police forced him to tow those away plus the one he was storing in his back yard. The Mercedes is in his driveway, so as long as it is on a paved surface and not grass, he is okay. All of their cars are like traveling trash cans -- loaded with papers and stuff.

Their yard would not win any prizes, but they do mow the grass.

My biggest concern is the nudity and I do intend to report him should it ever happen again. I'd like to talk to the police now so they know when I call that it's not the first time.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Pam, I've just got one piece of advice for you. DON'T LOOK! (grin)

You could go blind or something, that's just disgusting. And, here in Michigan it would be indecent exposure if you stood naked in front of your window or screen door and maybe if you walked outside in your underwear. At least disorderly behavior. Ugh. Plus disgusting...

Annie


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Yeah, like I said, I thought I would have to gouge my eyes out after seeing that. You know, it's kind of like looking at a train wreck. You know it's going to be horrifying but you can't turn your eyes away.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

I would absolutely call the police. There was a story a few years ago about a man in Springfield, Virginia who was naked in his house one morning and school children could see him through his window. He was arrested for indecent exposure. This is definitely a serious issue. It's not like he's just walking around naked in the privacy of his own home -- he's standing at the front door in full view.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Gail, yes, I agree. It's not like I was peeping in his window at him (as if!). I glanced out my window and saw him there. My house is farther away from his house than the sidewalk, which is where kids and others would be walking.

The weather has gotten pretty chilly for standing around naked at an open door, but who knows.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

I have to say if these were my neighbors someone would have to tell me this was going on before I would ever know or notice. I am oblivious unless neighbors are extremely noisy or come knocking on my door. Thankfully none have ever done so while naked.

It's possible he is unaware that he can be seen through the screen door but more likely that he simply doesn't care. If this were my neighbor and I found his nudity problematic I would deliver a polite anonymous note informing him that be could be seen from the street in the altogether through his open door/window whatever. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt that he is unaware that he can be seen. I suspect he and she of the underwear as outdoor wear have a bit of an ostrich thing going on. They are self absorbed and if they can't see another person around they don't think they can be seen.

If a note failed to hinder him and he became more flagrant then a call to the police would be in order. Stalking? That term has no meaning in this case.

Of course people are allowed to be naked in their own homes and I'm sure many people can be glimpsed on occasion accidentally through an open window or door. Most people take reasonable care about their windows and open doors. This guy is a dolt who needs to be reminded of the rules of common decency. Like I said I would probably never even notice unless he stood in my front yard and and waggled his tackle. The point is that YOU are offended and can see him right out your front window. So being in your own front room is unpleasant.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

I'm sorry, but I can't imagine anyone standing behind a screen door naked and being unaware that they can be seen. He needs much more than a polite note.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Waggle his tackle? OMG I'm dying laughing!!!


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

LOL Barnmom as long as he doesn't start acting like a master-baiter....


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

OMG, too funny!


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Sphewww! That's my sorbet hitting the screen after reading Barnmom's comment! OMG, not funny to Pam, but this thread is my evening's entertainment! Sorry Pam...


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Barnmom AND Jessy. I wouldn't have expected less from either. Honestly, keeping a sense of humor about the whole thing is the best way to manage it.

Humph -- laughing at my expense. ;o)


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Two doors up from me is a 30something couple, nice, keep their house and yard up very well, friendly, but they often have parties on Friday night that can get quite loud. I give them until 11 PM to quieten down and then I call the police to report them.

I only had to call the police one time.

Jus' sayin'.......

Teresa


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Unfortunately, it's probably not a crime to stand naked in your own house, even at the doorway. You say he's been there for 20 years and he's just started doing his exhibition work? Sounds to me like he needs a mental evaluation. That might be a better approach than calling the police -- you know, something like "poor old fat ass across the street seems to have gone around the bend. Maybe someone should look in on the family around 8:00 am" Something like that.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

I'm willing to believe that some people who behave like jerks are mentally unbalanced but usually someone who acts like an inconsiderate a__hole is just that.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

What does that mean, barnmom. I was of the opinion that the OP was asking for suggestions. Your response is that if he's an inconsiderate ___ hole == what? What I was suggesting is that there might be another approach to her solution. Calling the police is a good first step, but I'm betting it will get her nowhere. In many jurisdictions, you can stand naked anywhere on your own property. Acting like an inconsiderate ___hole may not be a crime but could be a sign of mental disfunction. Call for help anywhere you can get it.
And just one other thought, if the guy is an ambulance chasing lawyer, I would think twice about taking unflattering covert pictures of him and his wife in their home and putting them on the internet. Just a thought.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Pam made it clear in her posts that the family and he have a long history of generally unpleasant and inconsiderate behavior. They aren't mentally ill, just badly behaved.

I doubt Pam has anything to fear with regard to legal action from this man. If he can be seen from the street in the buff without Pam trying to see him (which she states is what happened), then he could probably be charged with indecent exposure. A conviction could potentially get him disbarred.

There is a big difference between deliberately exposing oneself for self gratification and being casual about the curtains.

So, Pam, is he newly crazy or just a chronic jerk?


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PA laws.

CHAPTER 31. SEXUAL OFFENSES
Subchapter B. Definition Of Offenses

3127. Indecent exposure.

Here is a link that might be useful: Indecent exposure.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Annie1971, why so confrontational?

Eileen is right. Pam made it clear that this man/family have been a PITA for many years. So whether he is just a natural jerk and an inconsiderate #ss hole, or is mentally ill, doesn't really change the fact that he was naked where others could see him.

Pam, I would call the police, if for no other reason than to find out what options there are and how to proceed. If you are concerned about whether taking pictures of your neighbour while he is still in his house is an invasion of privacy or acceptable the police should be able to give you some advice.

Ann


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

I didn't post pictures of them in their home. I posted a very blurry picture of them outside of their house. I know indecent exposure is absolutely against the law in my area. I suppose there is an argument that she was not entirely exposed, but it is his actions that concern me.

They are both jerks and *ssholes and have been since the day she moved in about 24 years ago. He comes from a family with some money and I think she thought she was getting a prize when she roped him in. Wrong. Their two children were born before they were married. He wouldn't marry her after the first, but gave in after the second. I know people make the choice not to marry and are wonderful caring parents, but in this case it was clearly that she was trying to corral him.

Anyway, thanks for your support. You've given me a lot to consider. I do think talking to the police is a good start. In the meantime, if I see him naked again, I am calling the police.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

I am really surprised that some people are saying not to call the police. I believe it IS a crime to stand naked in your own house if you are in plain view of passersby. I also doubt that it is legal to stand nude on your own property, if it is within view of others. Of course if you live in the middle of nowhere and no one can see into your yard, that is another story. But that is not the case here. Call the police -- if they don't think it's an issue, they will tell you that and they won't respond -- if they do, then they should be involved.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

How close is his front door to yours? Where I live now, the front yards are quite large with lots of trees and plants blocking views, but when I lived on Linden Street in San Francisco (check the "street view"), I was on a small alley, and the building across the street from me was shouting distance away. My bedroom had a couple of windows facing the street, and I had my vanity with a large round mirror placed between the two windows and then a large full length mirror opposite one of the windows and angled so that I could see myself from the back. This was important because I was making clothes at the time. Anyway, a guy across the street from me at one time started staring at me through the mirrors while I was in front of my vanity, and he was wearing nothing but a leather harness. To make him stop, I had to call my roommate Bernard in (who very much enjoyed the show), and then the guy across the street would go away. BTW, the guy was young and athletic-looking and attractive, and continued this behavior on a regular basis.

In San Diego I used to visit a friend who had a condo on Mission Bay, and when I stepped out of her condo, I was on the sand at the beach. So one day I decided to go for a swim in the bay, and when I looked back at her condo, I noticed that there was what looked like a young naked marine (or maybe a navy guy) walking back and forth in front of his glass wall with no drapes. He was only on the second floor, and so it was a pretty close view. For some reason, I felt no need to call the police to report him. He was, after all, facing the beach and the bay, although he would have been visible from the bike path.

I've been studying a lot of anthropology lately, and there appear to be many tribes still living today that have not conformed to European fashion standards. I do not think that they are very welcome to visit certain places here without conforming to new standards, but I am also aware of how arbitrary any clothing standards are. I have also studied fashion history extensively, and the rules have changed drastically even in Europe during the past few hundred years, not to mention the millenia. In 18th Century France, there were certain parts of the female body that were considered obscene and therefore had to be covered, and this included the elbows, the points of the shoulders, and of course the nipples. Cleavance was not considered obscene, and one could show as much of that as one wanted, and therefore necklines plunged to take advantage of that while sleeve barely covered the tips of the shoulders, and lace cuffs covered the elbows. Anyway, standards of decency vary greatly from one society to another and from one age to another. To me, they are all very artificial, and I do not take them that seriously - at least not to the point of being offended when someone breaks the rules. There are many people in this country who do not think that women should nurse their babies in public. I've noticed that rules are somewhat more lax on the West Coast than the East.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, and an a** for an a**.

dcarch :-)

Here is a link that might be useful: Land Of The Rising Moon


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

That's funny, dcarch. I wish he looked that good.

Funny story. I went out with friends last night to a local restaurant. I told them the story of the Naked Neighbor and his nearly-nude wife. Just then, she walks by the table on her way to the Ladies (too bad they don't have a room marked Skanks). All the heads swiveled to see her. It was kind of funny. They agreed that this activity should be reported.

Lars, interesting info. I would subscribe to the theory that they belong to a different tribe that does not conform to European standards of dress. Perhaps something Stone Age. He is so hairy he kind of looks like he is wearing a bear skin, but it's really his bare skin.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

DC reminded me that Halloween is coming. You can make your own statement.

Here is a link that might be useful: Yard decor.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

I agree that you should call the police if he's exposing himself publicly though I'd be willing to bet he doesn't realize what he's doing. I know I've been guilty of standing in front of windows naked without realizing it if I get distracted by the phone ringing when I'm getting dressed or something. I sure hope no one took a picture, lol.

I'm probably alone here, and it's just my opinion, but what I don't really get though is the public bashing. It's one thing to be annoyed but you've called them low life, fat, disgusting, stupid, ugly, awful, bad dressing, "enhancement" needing, jerk, a-holes, hairy, couldn't pass the Bar, gold digging skanks and then posted a picture on a public forum. That seems like a lot of superficial name-calling and I think the picture is way over the top. I wouldn't like to see my neighbors naked either but it seems low to make fun of how they look on a message board, especially if you don't know if they are doing it on purpose or not or if there's some underlying mental illness or other factors you don't know about.

I guess I don't understand the purpose of it other than a venting measure? You don't seem to have any real proof that he is purposely trying to expose himself to children so I don't get why you would insult them in such a visual way other than you just don't like them. I mean, yeah she probably shouldn't be running around in her underwear but maybe there was a reason for it. It just seems weird to me that you would post a picture of it on a public forum.

I'm probably going to get flamed for this but I can take it, lol. I do sincerely hope you find relief though. If it's making you uncomfortable then it's not ok. I'd personally try the anonymous note in case he doesn't realize how visible he is.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Chi83, You are entitled to your opinion.

The way I see it is Pam can vent here all she wants. Nothing wrong with venting.

Pam knows these neighbours. She made it clear that these people have been less than good neighbours for many years. So if she wants to refer to them as low lives, fat, stupid, hairy, etc... I don't have a problem with it. I'm just thankful that they aren't my neighbours.

Ann


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Can take away 20% off your property value if you have to sell your house. DCarch

I thought this quote was interesting, and it is something I have suspected but was unsure about. When Kevin and I were house hunting, we found a house in Culver City that we liked, but the people across the street had a couple of rusted out cars in their driveway and exremely tattered curtains in the windows. I told the realtor at the house that I did not want to live across the street from that and have to look at it every day, and he told me that no one else would feel that way, but I think he was lying to me. OTOH, the people directly across the street from me now have their house for sale, and so we decided to go to one of the open houses so that we could see how our house looked from their windows. As it turns out, they have a better view of my front yard than I do (because it slopes down to the street), and our front yard looks like a botanical garden from the picture window in their living room! Their real estate agent told me that our yard was a big plus for the neighbor's house. In Venice, the neighbors did not affect property values so much because most people in Venice rent, the turnover is high, and the area is in great demand, being a beach community. Gang activity and graffitti will bring it down, however.

I am sympathy for anyone who has obnoxious neighbors, and one of the things I did not like about San Francisco was how dense it was.

Lars


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Thank you , Ann. Yes, I am the one who lives near them, and I can assure you everything I have said is entirely true, maybe too kind. I absolutely guarantee you that he is perfectly aware that he is standing nude in the open door as well as his wife knows she is standing outside in her underwear. What reason could there possibly be for that? There was no emergency going on and the house wasn't on fire. No reason she couldn't have grabbed a coat before walking out.

I never said he is purposefully exposing himself to kids. He is just displaying himself for anyone who is unfortunate enough to come along, which in my neighborhood could well include children.

I do have a small mirror in my front window to reflect their "bad chi" back to them and away from me.

I wish I could post the picture of him in his birthday suit so you could see just how flagrant this is, but I really can't.


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

don't post any pictures of his flagrant stupidity; take the high road. Vent away. We seem to have gotten away from the humor that lightened your mood... and mine. Thanks for waggling comment. Keeping on laughing it off, it's the better way. Just keep telling yourself, what goes around, comes around. They'll get theirs, and likely, you won't have had to do anyting.

(((Pam)))


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Pam:
I did not know all this was going down.
Didn-t read all the Posts ( too long ).

But I read in between and the last few.

Ann T : I agree with you.

Pam:
You are from Philly and don-t know how to make an offer he can-t refuse ???

When I lived in there we had ways to settle things in a peaceful manner.

Like making a hamburger out of his face.

But we can't do that anymore.

You could maybe ask, if he likes hamburger ???

LOU

PS: " GO PHILLIES "


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RE: Problem with a neighbor -- what to do?

Lou, unfortunately hamburgering someone's face is not done on the Main Line. Too bad. They have quieted down recently, or I just haven't been looking out the window much.

Yeah -- go Phils!!


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