Thank You For Your Concern & Support

14 years ago

Hi! Thanks to everybody who has sent their well wishes & prayers. It's been a very long three months. DH has made an excellent nurse & cook!

So, what happened to me? I was gardening on my hands & knees...couldn't get up...darn lupus pain. There was nobody around so I turned my weed bucket upside down & did a pushup off the bucket's rim. As most of you know, I've got a previous injury & bone graft at T/6-7. Apparently, my little pushup put too much stress on the rest of my spine (since there's no give in the bone graft) & I buldged C1/2, C2/3, basically the entire thoracic spine area, & a couple more near the tailbone just for good measure.

The pain was so fierce...I immediately had a small stroke on my right side. I went completly numb in my right leg & arm. The stroke was small & docs can't really tell if the numbness is from the spinal injuries or the stroke. It doesn't matter really 'cause the end result was the same...couldn't move the right side of my body.

I was unable to move on my own for 6 weeks, or so. Hospitalized for awhile then DH took care of me.

DH was going to take Family Leave but, apparently, the law allows when an employee is considered "essential to the financial stability of the company" for them to be fired. And, that's what they did...fired DH.

Within 2-3 weeks he had accepted another position in Philly & we were going to move a couple weeks ago. But, I wasn't ready physically for the move. We decided the entire thing was one big stress factor we don't need right now. So, DH made the decision that full retirement was the right choice for us now. We'd hoped for him to work another 2+ years but it's not necessary...just would have been nice. Anyway, we didn't want to leave Mystic & I'm still not functioning well so we're officially retired still in Mystic.

I can now type slowly & play a few scales on my piano. I don't know yet if I'll ever be able to actually play my piano again. I can walk, sorta on a good day, almost dress myself except for socks/shoes & coats/jackets, still need help with eating & most everything else but it's getting better every week. My goal is almost normal function by spring.

The pain is still seemingly unbearable some time out of every day but averaging down to around 7.5-8.0. Last Friday, I had my first day with 3.5-4.00 hours of pain less than 5. So, I know that in time the pain will be manageable. Physical therapy is still limited to walking 50 feet, raising my arms level to my shoulders, & shrugging my shoulders slightly 8 times each exercise twice/day. So, I can now at least brush my own teeth! Still can't brush my hair though...it's long & DH is frustrated with it! We cut 8" off but it's still below my shoulders.

It's taken me 2 hours to get this typed. I won't be posting on the forums yet but am starting to read a bit every couple days. Thanks so very much for all of the emails & concerns. They've meant a lot to me during this intense period.

Again, Bless all of you for thinking of us both.

/tricia

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Comments (43)

mustangs81
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Tricia, My eyes teared up as I read your message. It's hard to comprehend what you and DH have/are going through. You both must be incredibly strong willed people. I hope your decisions will be the best route for you to take.

Bless you,
(((Cathy)))
dedtired
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Oh Tricia, I don't thnk I realized the extent of your condition, nor the enormous impact it is having on you and DH. My heart goes out to you both.

I am glad you are making good progress and remaining optimistic. I think maintaining a good state of mind is half the battle.

Your husband's employer is heartless and I am sorry to know there are such uncaring people in this world. I hope they remember this on the day when they are faced with a crisis.

I hurt my lower back while gardening a week ago. I spent most of the week whining about it. It's fine now. You have reminded me about what is a minor nuisance and what is a true challenge and how to handle it gracefully instead of whining.

I wish you continued and complete recovery. I send a gold star to DH! What a keeper. Nest of luck to you both. Your in my thoughts.

Pam
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proudmamato4
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
God Bless you and your husband, Tricia. I am so sorry for all that you've had to endure, but I admire you immensely for your inner strength and courage. I will continue to keep both of you in my prayers. I have been thinking of you alot recently. Yesterday I made your basic artisan bread and although I'm on South Beach Phase 1 and couldn't taste it, my family assured me it was delicious.
Love to you~
Nancy
ann_t
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Tricia, you and your husband have been through so much. First your injury/stroke and then him getting fired. I can't even imagine how difficult this time has been for you. I can't believe the company he worked for could be so heartless. I hope he received a large termination package.

It must be such a relief that your pain is reducing and hopefully you will be almost back to normal before too long.

I'll continue to keep you in my thoughts.

Ann
centralcacyclist
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Hi Tricia. I'm so glad to see that you are able to post a little. You have been in my thoughts. You are a tower of strength and my hero.

Eileen
chase_gw
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
My goodness Tricia what a lot to endure. I'm in awe of both you for managing through this as well as you have.

I recall a year or so go you talking about wanting your DH to retire so you could enjoy your boat and each other. Sounds like some lovely times ahead.

Take care of yourself.

Sharon
deegw
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Hey Tricia - I rarely peruse this forum, but for some reason decided to check today. I 've always enjoyed your posts over at buying and selling homes and have been wondering about you. I am so sorry about the hell that you have been through and I'm glad you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Whatever has happened, your personality still shines through in your post.

Let us know the bank that DH used to work for. We definitely won't give them any business!

Take care and keep us posted when you can.
compumom
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Hi Tricia, it's great to see you back and posting! I'm so sorry for all that you've been through and I certainly would like to know of the heartless financial institution that your DH worked for so that I can make sure that our funds aren't invested there either!

You are very brave and as you know it's all baby steps from here. Don't stop fighting to regain your strength. you've got an iron will and I'm sure that you can make great strides. A friend's mother was a pianist too and after her stroke it took quite awhile but she was able to once again play her beloved piano. I'm sure that will happen for you too. Meanwhile keep up the therapy and enjoy the TLC that DH can provide.
Hugs,
Ellen
Gina_W
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Hi Tricia! I don't have anything to add to what others have already said so -- (((Tricia))) XOXO.
rob333 (zone 7b)
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
It pains me to see you like this. But I am so glad he's retired and you get to stay. I am also glad you're fighting and progressing. You hang in there Tricia! I'm rooting for you.

-Robin
lindac
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Oh my....How terribly frightening....alone in the garden and so seriously injured! I hope help wasn't long coming!

You certainly have had your share of physical and emotional troubles through the years. You are so lucky that your husband is in a place where he can retire now.....and my wish for you is that you soon will be able to cook for him again.
Linda C
petaloid
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Wow, Tricia, you are showing major internal strength and determination. I am sure you will continue to make progress and improvement.

Don't worry about posting unless you feel like it, but stop in to read when you are able.
eandhl
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I am so sorry you have been going through so much pain, physical and emotional. Glad to hear there is improvement and wish you a full speedy recovery.
claire_de_luna
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Tricia, I'm grateful you're on the mend, even if it's going to take a while. It's fortunate that you are able to stay put, as I know how much you love Mystic. I'll be keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers. Keep up the good work with your physical therapy; I know it's a long-term process and really helps. Thinking of you both.
Bizzo
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Tricia -
my reaction was OMG, several times as I read your tale. How awful for you!! And it's seems pretty incredible the loophole in FMLA... I'm shocked that they would follow-through and not work something else out. That's no way to treat a valuable employee... one too valuable for leave we have to fire? Ouch!

I'm selfishly glad to hear though that you are still in the area. I still want to get together. I know right now it will be very difficult for you, but if there is anything I can do to help you or DH... please let me know. I just live the otherside of the Gold Star Bridge, not too far from the USCGA...

I also you can both find peace in retirement.
I believe you have my email address, if DH wants to get in touch. I don't expect to hear from you for a while since I can imagine how much pain you are in.

Thank you for such a positive attitude. You are truly inspiring.

((((((Tricia))))))) and prayers.

EB
chancesmom
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Tricia, I am so very sorry to read what an awful time you are having, both with your physical challenges and the rest of the issues you and your hubby have had to deal with. You both must be incredible strong and determined. Good thoughts and prayers for a steady recovery.

janet
KatieC
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Geez, Tricia...you've had your share. I hope every day is better.
wizardnm
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Tricia, thanks you for the effort it took to post.
My thoughts are the same as those who have already responded. I just hope you continue to improve. I'm glad that your DH is there with you and that he decided to retire. I know how much you love Mystic!

So let the sea breezes cleanse and mend you!

Nancy
brenda55
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Tricia, what an ordeal you and DH have gone through. My thoughts and prayers are with you for continued recovery.
Don't discount those seemingly small steps in your recovery, as it takes alot of small steps.

Brenda
foodonastump
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I'm so sorry to hear how you spent your summer. Even without knowing the details of what was wrong, my immediate reaction to the Philly move was "Won't that be too much for her?" I'm happy that you are in a position where your husband can retire and continue to take care of you without upsetting your life any more than it already is. Best of luck with your continued recovery. Keep us posted as you can.
annie1992
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
As others have mentioned, it's good that your DH is in a position to retire, and a pox on that bank that fired him.

I'm sending healing thoughts and maybe you can teach DH to use a bread machine?

I do have an aunt who had a stroke and she said kneading bread was better than physical therapy for her left arm, so maybe, later, if the rest of your physical issues allow it....

Annie
jessyf
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Aren't these the same bozos who threw down the gauntlet for the July 4th 'be there or be damned' wedding party? Shoulda stuck with your boat event, but who knew.

This too shall pass, on to the next phase of life, raising a glass to you both.
lpinkmountain
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Here's hoping that although working a couple of years "would have been nice" that retirement ends up being even nicer. I know your husband is a consummate professional and does what he has to do and puts up with what he has to put up with, but I don't think that place was good for your souls and I think it is a godsend that you are done with it. I'm glad you are on the mend but my heart goes out to you with all you've been through and continue to endure. Chronic pain is a challenge like no other, and unless you've been through it yourself you can not quite imagine it, the level of patience it takes to endure. Here's hoping for more and more tolerable and good days, and some times to enjoy the beauties of Mystic. I find time by the water to be so healing. Congratualations to you both on weathering the storm so far! Big hugs to you and hubby!!
dgkritch
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Big hug, Tricae! I've missed you.
I'll be praying for you and hubby both for continued healing, peace and joy in this forced retirement phase.

I believe the Good Lord knows better than we do the right time for the things in our lives.
Trust and be awed! :-)

Deanna
lowspark
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I agree with what everyone else has said! I'm glad you're on the mend. You have a wonderful attitude. And I wish for the best for you and your DH. And I definitely miss your presence on this and other forums. I read a lot of your comments, even on forums I don't much post on. Get better soon!! We're ALL sending positive thoughts your way.
bri29
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Tricia~
I'm so glad you're on the mend, I can't even imagine living with the pain levels or difficulties you and your husband are going through. My thoughts are with you both and I wish you a speedy recovery. As for your dh's employer, I'm with Annie. A pox on them! I hope you two settle into retirement with the grace you have shown and continue to show every day. Thanks for taking the time to post all that, two hours of typing is an incredible feat of dedication.

*HUGS*
Bri
gbsim1
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Another big hug coming from Louisiana (well actually a hotel room in VA)!

You wrote a great post and it's obvious that you're looking on the bright side and finding the silver lining in all of this pain (both physical and emotional).... Keep on Keepin On!!!!! You'll be out puttering about in a boat before you know it!

Grace
partst
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Tricia, Glad to see you back my thoughts are the same as those who have already responded. Just happy to have you back even if its for a quick look in every once in a while. Glad you are on the mend and getting better. I remember the 4th of July Âbe there or be damned' wedding party also and I canÂt imagine how disappointed your DH was with the lack of understanding and compassion considering the circumstances. I wish the best for you and your DH my thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Claudia
sally2_gw
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Tricia, It's so good of you to post an update, and I'm so sorry for the pain you're suffering. I can't imagine that kind of pain. Your DH is a saint, and that company he worked for is obviously not a place for saints, or with saints, anyway.

I encourage you to keep up the piano, even one handed. Even if just a few notes. You're probably aware of him, but there's some concert pianist, I don't remember his name, but he lost the use of one of his hands due to some kind of repetitive use injury. He learned to play one handed, and created some very interesting music. He eventually gained the use of his other hand, but never gave up. I know it's not the same condition, but I hope you can keep playing, even if just a little bit.

My heart and prayers go out to you and your DH.

Sally
shellm
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Galad you are back.I am so sorry to hear what an awful time you have had.Hugs and prayers to you and your DH.

Shelley
happygram
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I'm joining all of your Forum Friends in wishing you pain free days ahead. Retirement is a new adventure and you have many interests and gifts of yourself to give.

My very most positive and healing thoughts are traveling your way.

Mary
mitchdesj
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
tricia, thanks for taking the time to post your story, you are one brave person.
I wish you speedy healing and constant improvements .
riverrat1
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Tricia, It's so nice to come here and see your post! My hope for you is to consistantly get better everyday.

My thoughts are with you and DH!
canarybird01
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
You've been through so much Tricia so I hope that now things will be much better and that you are healing well with every day that passes.

Thinking of you and your husband.

SharonCb
trixietx
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Oh my goodness, what you and your DH have been through, it is terrible. I am so sorry. There is nothing I can say that hasn't been said.
But you are in my prayers for a speedy recovery and wishing you and your DH a fun filled retirement.
shaun
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Wow thanks for posting to let us know how you are. I feel bad for you. But I'm hopeful that you'll be just fine! Sending my prayers to you and your husband.
doucanoe
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Tricia, so good to hear from you, but so sorry your husband's company are such a bunch of....well, can't usa that language on the forum. But you know what I mean.

Your attitude alone could get you through this, but I'll send some good wishes anyway.

Hugs to both of you!

Linda
gldno1
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Tricia, I was so sorry to hear about your troubles. Another gardening and cooking friend on another forum told me when I told her I was reading and studying (again) your very helpful Bread Making 101 thread.

I had no idea companies could fire someone for requesting family leave time! That's what we get for sending all those lawyers to DC to write the laws. They leave loopholes for all the "right" people.

I hope your progress in continuing and the pain is getting less and less. I can't imagine being in your shoes.

Bless you and your husband.

glenda
cloudy_christine
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Tricia, I'm so sorry to hear of all these troubles. I'm hoping that in the month since you posted, your pain is much less and your mobility greater. Let us know how you're doing.
daylilydayzed
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
You are still in my prayers to recover from this.
vacuumfreak
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Wow Tricia, I'm sorry all that happened to you! I can't even imagine how you must be feeling. At least you have a good DH to help take care of you. I'm going to send some pain free thoughts your way.
lsr2002
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I've been thinking of you too and hope you are feeling better and able to do more.

Hugs,

Lee
caliloo
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Keeping you and your wonderful DH in my thoughts and hope you are healing....

Alexa

Thank You For Your Concern & Support

Comments (43)

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