Thing One's wedding is getting close ...

12 years ago

Less than three weeks away now. And so much left to do.

I really don't want to be "that mom" -- all stressed out. I had envisioned myself avoiding the cliche and just going with the flow. And I'm trying, I really am. I hope I'm pulling it off outwardly. But in the middle of almost every night, I'm staring at the ceiling for an hour, with things to do swirling around in my brain.

I thought it would be no harder than a bar mitzvah. Hah! That was checkers to this chess. All the guests were our guests, and my husband and I just planned everything the way we chose. Now there are lots of other co-hosts involved and dozens and dozens of guests I don't even know. It makes it a LOT harder.

But it's still a lot of fun. The dresses are starting to line up in the closet (the bride, her mom, my mom, and maybe some others are sending them here ahead so they won't be wrinkled in suitcases). Thing Two is home from Israel and lost a lot of weight -- she looks sensational, but I'm glad we have a good tailor for her bridesmaid dress, which has to come down 2 whole sizes.

I love the caterer for the "rehearsal dinner" BBQ for the out of town guests in our back yard; he has great ideas, keeps throwing in stuff for free, and solves lots of dilemmas with stuff that's not even his problem. Current estimate for that party is 173 -- what were we thinking? Almost the whole wedding group (about 230, we predict).

Please everyone use all your weather karma for us; 173 inside is going to be ... impossible, actually.

The wedding itself is really all set. My husband wrote music for the processional, and it's beautiful. He wrote ours, too.

I am so excited about all of our relatives coming. We are lucky to have great families. And the one or two people we ... aren't so excited to see, let's say, aren't coming.

Our friends here are amazing. There has been a bit of junior high school level drama -- "Did you tell Lulu I'm in charge of the hospitality bags?" -- that led to the only meltdown I've had, and I hope that it will be the last, but that's all.

It's going to take 5 days to get these kids married. Future Mrs. Thing One's dad is taking whoever is in town already on Thursday night out to dinner, our friends are making dinner on Friday, Saturday morning is the aufruf at the synagogue sabbath services followed by lunch (the bat mitzvah family that day is doing it, lucky for us), Saturday night at our house, Sunday evening the wedding, and Monday brunch at the hotel -- plus the hospitality suite all weekend. Whew!

I wish you would all be there. And I know you know what I mean when I say that it will in a way feel like you are. You know I'll be thinking of you! Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this happy time with us.

Comments (6)

lowspark
12 years ago
Wheeee!!! Mazel Tov!!!!

Those five days are going to blow right by so try to make it a point to stop every once in a while, catch your breath, and look around. That way you can at least commit certain moments to memory.

I can't wait to hear the whole story afterwards. I'm not that far behind you as Nathan gets married in March!

Best of luck with everything! I'm sure it will all go smoothly. No mosquitoes. No rain. Just lots of joy and fun!
eandhl
12 years ago
Positive thoughts for good weather. Everything sounds beautiful and I am sure it will be. Take a few deep breaths.
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I cannot tell you how comforting it is to have all your support and advice! Lowspark, I am going to commit your suggested script to memory. It's perfect. However, I have reason to think that I may catch a lucky break and not have to do anything. My closest friend, "Fifi," who, as it goes around here, is sort of organizing all the people who want to help, is working on the Friday night dinner for the out of towners, along with "Kiki," who is hosting it at her house (I know!), and several others. Fifi just told me that AFTER (I checked) I had that conversation with Lulu and Cathy, Cathy sent Fifi an email saying something like "be sure to include us in whatever you're planning for the wedding." The wording wasn't crystal clear, but both Fifi and I got the sense she was speaking for Lulu, too. So that would mean that Fifi and Kiki, who already have 4 others on their "team," would get another 2 pairs of hands and financial contributions for what is really a big job, which I know Fifi appreciates (I hope Kiki does -- Fifi will handle that, bless her). Now, how did I not give "Cathy" a silly name, too? It also means no shower here. I doubt Thing One will care, and they certainly don't need another set of gifts, but FMTO may be disappointed. I doubt she'll be destroyed, though, and in the end she may be glad not to have to plan another trip (I am sure her relatives won't be disappointed not to have to come here twice). If she really, really wants another shower, well -- Thing Two and FMTO's sister both live in Boston, as, I believe, do some of FMTO's friends; maybe they will give her a shower -- I can slip Thing Two some $$ to help. (Yes, they are immediate family, but they are also bridesmaid and MOH, so I suppose that would be okay.) But I am going to keep my big mouth shut about that for now! This certainly is an example of not doing or saying anything until you must -- sometimes the problem changes or even goes away entirely. Glad I didn't say anything to Lulu yet.
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tomuch2chus
12 years ago
I had to come out of lurkdom for this: Mozel Tov Gellchom!!

I have read your posts both here & on the Wedding Forum and learned so much! Thank you for sharing your insights & perspectives. They are both sane & profound.

My daughter's wedding was last weekend & your advice & shared experiences were instrumental in creating a coheasive and lovely experience. I'm sure your son's wedding-week will be a whirlwind of beauty & love shared by all! (Including us!)

It WILL fly by! (I hope the mosquitos will do the same!) So, it is great advice to take some time to catch your breath.

Thanks again!
gellchom
Original Author
12 years ago
Oh, tomuch2chus (that's a really funny name, by the way) --
that was incredibly kind of you. I don't know what I could have said that was useful, but I'm very glad. I know I have learned so much from my friends here, some very important things, too.

I know we all want to hear all about your daughter's wedding, too. Did I miss a post about it? If so, please direct, and if not, please post! Pictures, too.

Mazal tov to you, too. Mazal tov to us all! Isn't life wonderful?
tomuch2chus
12 years ago
Yes! It is!!!

Your hard work & goodwill will make all your guests feel welcome. Just smile, breathe, & let go of the details; they will take care of themselves at this point.

The name is from when I remodeled my house/kitchen last year & found the kitchen forum. What an excellent resource!

No pictures yet. I didn't take any & "The Kids" are honeymooning in Spain & France so I haven't harrassed them for the password into the photographer's website to view the proofs.

I'm pleasantly surprised to suddenly find myself with less than 5 million things that MUST be done today! It feels like a holiday! They only got engaged in January, so there was alot to do in a little time.

You've got all the bases covered & even got lucky that the "difficult" family members are busy elsewhere. It is completely awesome that your husband has written music for the happy couple! What a blessing!

Enjoy!
annie1992
12 years ago
Take a deep breath, gellchom, it'll be over and done before you know it and the first thing you'll do is stay awake at night, wondering why there's nothing you need to arrange.

Take it from me, the veteran of three weddings in 12 months, it'll fly by. There will be small problems that seem like much bigger problems, but it'll all work out and in the end they'll still be married and no one will even know it wasn't supposed to be that way.

Congratulations to the young couple, and lots of good wishes and happiness to them, and to you as you welcome a new daughter into the family.

Oh, and congratulations to your daughter for having to have the dress taken in!

Annie

Thing One's wedding is getting close ...

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