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Prayers for my FIL, please

Posted by annie1992 (My Page) on
Sun, Aug 19, 12 at 10:44

We went a couple of weeks ago to visit Elery's Dad and Stepmom in Ohio for his Dad's birthday. He is nearing 90 and has had some heart issues but overall is in pretty good health. He slept through nearly all the birthday party and just hasn't been feeling good. He has refused to see a doctor.

Finally, his wife demanded that he go. The doc did a colonoscopy and found a large tumor in the lower colon. We are waiting for pathology reports so that a decision on the next step can be made, but it will almost certainly include surgery.

Elery and his sister and brother are being very pessimistic, but they tend to be kind of hypochondriac. His brother sells drugs for a pharmaceutical company so he knows some things about health care, although I think I'd rather wait to hear from a doctor.

We are currently packing to start down, after the pathology report comes back and we are told what will be done next. Elery is already planning a suit and dress shirt in case a funeral is in the works, "just in case".

I'll also pack something presentable, but I prefer to be more upbeat until I hear otherwise.

Please, if you can, include James Elery Barnes in your prayers. He's a lovely, sweet and kind gentleman and currently in the Bethesda Medical Center.

Annie


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

Oh Annie, I feel chills going up and down my arms. Of course I'll keep him close to my heart and send loads of good thoughts his way. Unfortunately this is a path I've walked all too recently. Please make sure what his albumin count (protein level) before considering surgery. I hope surgery and a speedy recovery will turn the situation around.

Please let Elery know that my thoughts and prayers are with his dad. Sending hugs to all.
E


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Joining Ellen with more good thoughts and prayers coming from me. Annie, I'm glad you can stay optimistic and I hope for the best diagnosis and treatment.

Lee


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My heart goes out to Elery, you and everyone in the family. I'll certainly put your FIL in my prayers.

I remember going through this exact thing with my Grandfather, he was 93. They did do surgery on him, but I'm not sure it was worth it. Elery sounds like he is being realistic.

Take care my friend.

Nancy


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I know all of us are thinking of you & Elery, Annie. We're sending our love & good thoughts. It's a hard time, & I hope knowing that we all care will help ease this period.

Hugs,
Kathlen


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Aw, you guys. I'm sorry and I hope Dad pulls through and is around awhile longer. My mom turns 95 in a couple weeks. Her health is amazingly good and she has not lost even one marble. I think she will live into her 100s but of course you never know. It makes my heart sink to think of not having her.

Thinking strong healing thoughts for all of you.


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Of course he will be in my prayers.....sounds like a tough old bird....hope it's just an obstruction and not the big C....and that he feels better at his next birthday party.


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

My heart and thoughts are with you and Elery.

When you mentioned the clothing to pack, it brought back memories of the call I received when Mom had an accident and was brought by helicopter to a shock trauma center. I made plans for my flight to Florida and started packing bright, colorful clothes to "cheer her up." Then I received a second call, this time from the hospital chaplain, who gave me a more realistic picture of what was in store. I had to replace the contents of my suitcase with more somber clothing and a black suit. It may seem shallow to think of clothes at a time like this, but when you're traveling to a distant location, it's not wrong to be practical, and it's a way of preparing yourself emotionally for what lies ahead.

My best wishes for your FIL's recovery. I'm glad that you and Elery have each other for comfort and support at this time.

Sue


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I'm on my way to Ohio. l The doctors want to consult with the family but they will definitely do surgery. Consultation will be either tomorrow or Wednesday, depending on when the rest of the family can get there.

Keep us in your thoughts, please.

Annie


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

Praying for you, Elery, and his father and family. My mother-in-law had a cancerous mass on her colon when she was in her late 70's/early 80's (I don't remember exactly) She had it and most of her colon removed, had chemotherapy, and lived the rest of her life with a bag. A little inconvenient, but no real issues with it. I know the extra 10 years can make a difference, but also know that there is hope for him. (((((Elery)))))


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

Annie, I will certainly keep Elery, Mr. Barnes, you, and all the family in my thoughts and prayers.

Sally


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Hugs to all of you. Of course you all will be in my thoughts as you head to Ohio and take care of business.

Hoping it is not cancer and that it can be taken care of in the least invasive way possible.

Keep us posted when you can, but take care of family first.

Linda


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I'm so sorry to hear this:( I will certainly say a prayer for your FIL and for safe travels for you and Elery.

I have been contemplating the same issues after receiving a very similar call yesterday from NH.


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OK Cathy....tell us so we can include your family in our prayer chain too.

Annie....hope you will keep us all in the loop as you can.


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

OK Cathy....tell us so we can include your family in our prayer chain too.

Annie....hope you will keep us all in the loop as you can.


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

I'm at Elery's this evening, we'll leave first thing tomorrow morning.

It appears that although the tumor is malignant, it has not spread outside the bowel itself, which is good. The oncologist will consult the cardiologist and the surgeon is in there somewhere. Surgery will be Thursday at 1 pm, or at least that's what it's scheduled for now.

I'll be out of touch for a few days, I'm afraid, but will check in as soon as I can.

thanks for all the good thoughts and prayers.

Annie


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Annie, of course all of you will remain in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you will be able to post again before Thursday.

Cathy, I'm sorry that you are facing the same kind of sadness, and I will keep you and Ray and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Sending you all thoughts of peace and strength, Lee


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

I'm beaming positive thoughts your way.

My mother (81) has had two tumors removed from her colon as well as a mass removed from her ovaries (they did a hysterectomy as well) in the past two+ years. She is still with us.

Eileen


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All good thoughts for James Elery Barnes & Family. I hope all goes well.


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Annie, I have you and yours in my thoughts and prayers and feel optimistic for your FIL, since they are proceeding with the surgery. I will be checking for a progress report.

Lars


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Sorry, I am just now seeing this. Yes, that are doing surgery and it's a tumor that is confined, those are both great things! Fantastic even! It sounds like he's gonna do well. Lifting y'all up!


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I'm glad to hear it hasn't spread. I'm feeling optimistic. I'm still thinking about him and your family.

Sally


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Annie, thinking of you and Elery and sending positive thoughts to your FIL.

~Ann


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Sending best wishes and good thoughts.


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Sending prayers to you and FIL Annie. Keep that positive attitude. Take care, NancyLouise


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I'm hoping for the best for Elery's dad, Annie.

Cathy, I'm thinking about you and your family. I hope the news is better than Elery's.


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Annie and Elery, I'm keeping James and all of you in my thoughts today.

Sally


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Annie, I think it's about time for your FIL's surgery. Please know my prayers are with him and your entire family.

/tricia


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

It's been a long day. Surgery went well, the doctors are cautiously optimistic that they got all the tumor and that it had not spread. Pathology report on the lymph nodes is pending,maybe tomorrow.

He'll spend about a week in the hospital, another couple of weeks in an assisted care facility, then if he's walking and getting around, go back home.

Elery and I will either go back home tomorrow or stay another day, depending on how tomorrow morning goes.

I had to smile when I saw "Mr. Barnes" and "James". His nickname has always been "Dude". Elery was always "Little Dude". (grin) The kids all call FIL "Pa Dude". So, it appears that "Pa Dude" is hanging in there.

Thanks to everyone for the thoughts, prayers and good wishes. I'm on Elery's netbook and hate the darned thing, it's taken me about 15 minutes to type this so excuse any typos.

Now we focus on recovery, which at his age can be lengthy, but it's still recovery so that's good.

Now, Cathy, any updates on your phone call?

Annie


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I'm happy to read this.

Off to bed with sick me.

E


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I'm happy to read this.

Off to bed with sick me.

E


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

Great news!


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I'm so glad to hear it went well!

Cathy, I hope for good news from you, too.

Eileen, I hope you get to feeling better.

Sally


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Continuing positive thoughts and good wishes for the Big Dude coming from L.A.!


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Oh, so happy to read your post. Hope this morning brought good news. Thanks for the update. Will continue keeping "Big Dude" in my prayers.

Cathy, I've also got your family in my prayers.

Eileen, hope you're feeling better today.

/tricia


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

I am so happy to hear your good news and look forward to future progress reports. It sounds like he has the strength and will to recuperate well.

Eileen, I also hope that you are feeling better today. I'm still not back into regular sleep patterns myself.

Lars


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

How's Pa Dude today? I hope he's feeling feisty enough to complain about the hospital food.

I think I am better. This a yucky chest cold/flu something. I spent 5 hours in the car with my sick friend on the way to see Daniel for a few days. :( So I am resting and drinking weak green tea and taking echinacea and goldenseal capsules.

Lars, does melatonin help you with sleep?

Watching for an update...

Eileen


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

Annie, I'm glad to read that the surgery went well and I'll continue to keep you all in my thoughts.

Hope we'll hear an update from Cathy too and I hope things are resolving.

Eileen, it sounds as though you are doing what you can to recover and I hope you feel well soon.

Lars, I hope you will be able to look back and see some positive changes from week to week even though they may not be visible day to day, and I hope you'll soon be sleeping well.

Hugs and good thoughts going out to all of you,

Lee


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

Pa Dude is feeling well enough today to flirt with the nurses, so that's very good. they are watching him carefully because they are concerned about his kidneys and his blood pressure has dropped a bit. He's looking much better than he did a month ago, but Elery and I decided to stay an extra day, just to be sure he was continuing to improve.

Pathology report won't be back until at least Monday and then we"ll find out whether lymph nodes are involved.

Annie


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Prayers for good clean nodes....glad the Dude feels well enough to flirt!!


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Annie, prayers are continuing. Glad to hear the good news.

As for the others with health issues, prayers for you also. I,somehow, alaways forget to check into the conversations side of the CF.

Tami


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

Just saw this Annie. My thoughts and prayers are with Pa Dude too. Sounds like he's a fighter...glad to hear things are well. Always nervous with surgery at that age. Here's to a fast recovery and many more birthday parties to come.

Duane


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I'm glad Pa Dude is feeling better and glad that you decided to stay a little longer. I'm sure it will be really meaningful to him, not just that you came, but that you stayed.

Lee


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Yea, flirting is good!


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

I'm back at elery's. Pa Dude is amazingly well, not complaining too much about pain. They did have to make an incision and take a length of the lower colon, then piece it back together. They gave him two units of blood today, but he was extremely anemic when he went to the doc the firsst time, before diagnosis. the doc said the tumor had been "weeping" blood for some time, so he was dehydrated and anemic. He looks better than he has in months and he's absolutely full of it today.

when we left to come home he kissed me and told me "thanks for coming, and thanks for praying for me, and thanks for being so darned good looking". LOL I told him I wasn't nearly as good looking as him and not to break the nurses' hearts before I got back to warn them.

So, we've all relaxed a bit and now the only worries are those that surround continued healing for an 88 year old man with a bad heart.

I tol dhim that everyone was praying for him, all over the United States. He was amazed about the forum, it never occurred to him that such fellowship existed.

He is a good Christian man who believes in the power of prayer, now he knows about the power of the forum!

Thanks to everyone, for the support. Now, I'm just waiting for that clen pathology report.

Annie


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I'm glad I read this, Annie, before heading off to bed. I'll be sure to give thanks. You and Elery must be tired. Hope you get a good night's sleep.

/tricia


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Pa Dude sounds fabulous. :) Thanks for this update. Hugs!

E


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Hoping for continued good news, Annie!

Sue


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I'm so glad to hear that your FIL is bouncing back amazingly fast. Best wishes to him for a speedy and complete recovery!

Sue


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Aww, Pa Dude sounds like a sweetheart. I'm glad he's well enough to flirt.

Sally


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I'm glad to hear the latest update and please tell Pa Dude that you all continue to be in my thoughts and prayers and that the power of of the CF is indeed far reaching and amazing.

Hugs to all you,

Lee


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

Sounds like Pa Dude is doing quite well, all things considered. He sounds like a real "character" to me! Someone I know I would like to meet. I have a soft spot for grand old gentlemen with character.

Tell him we will all keep praying for him and for him to tow the line and do as the doctors say!

Teresa


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

Yes, Pa Dude is indeed a sweetheart AND a grand old gentleman. Also a character, LOL.

He's still feeling pretty well. He didn't have much of an appetite before surgery, and now he's on a liquid diet to give everything time to heal. So, of course, now he's hungry. He called his wife and told her that the doctor's orders were that she was to take him to McDonald's for a sausage biscuit every single day for breakfast. (grin)

Annie


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

I'm glad for you that the news is good.


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Waiting to hear the all clean on the path report.


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

He sounds just like my younger sister's husband! They'd get along marvelously. I have to make sausage, gravy, biscuits every year for Christmas--which is HER birthday, but he gets the attention. It's ok, we love him enough he can have it. She gets her attention to. He also calls and puts in "orders" for food he wants when he knows I am coming their way. Gotta love 'em!


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

It so very uplifting to hear your good news! It's no wonder that he recovered as well as he did, considering how much positive energy he has surrounding him!

Lars


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This is such good news, Annie - I'm so glad to hear it. Fingers crossed for the pathology report too.

Kathleen


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Great to hear it, now get that man some sausage biscuits!


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And Cathy, how is that member of your family doing?

Annie-- so happy to hear that he's improving steadily and flirting to boot!


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I'd love to, Cathy, but he's still on that liquid/bland/soft diet while he heals. The first solid food he got was this morning, it was Cream of Wheat. He was not impressed. (grin)

So how IS your fmaily member doing? I'll be thinking of you....

Annie


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Aw c'mon, you know you'd love some mushy cream o' wheat! I wish the path report would hurry up and come back clean.


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I actually like cream of wheat. With lots of butter and brown sugar. :)

Sending good wishes to Pa Dude. I hope they feed him real food soon.

E


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

Still waiting to hear the good news about the path report....so he can continue healing with out thought of further worry.
Maybe soon he can have Malt-O-Meal!


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

Still no news on the pathology report. We don't know if the doc told Pa Dude and he's not saying, or if it's not back.

Elery's sister is going to call the doctor tomorrow, she has permission from Pa Dude to get his medical information, they won't release it otherwise due to HIIPA requirements.

Annie


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

Glad to hear things went well for your FIL. Hope the pathology report comes back with good news. Sorry, I am so late replying, caught up in my own problems so not paying much attention to the board.
Clare


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

Pathology report is finally back, it appears that he's got an all clear. He was moved to a rehab center yesterday, and when Elery talked to him on the phone he seemed confused. Elery's sister was there and said he was completely incoherent. the staff thought it was because his oxygen levels were low and everyone was worrked.

This morning, though, he was up for breakfast, had his therapy at 9. he was drinking coffee and reading the sports section of Sunday's paper when Elery's sister left, and had already been up and down the hall to visit with thenurses, then into the bathroom on his own. A much better day today. Elery and I will go back to see him this weekend, there's a lot of work before he can go back home, including seeing if we can get Frances to get rid of enough furniture so he can negotiate around the house. She had a large house with big furniture. She sold the big house and bought a little house but kept the big furniture. They also have no shower, only a bathtub downstairs, so the family is talking about remodeling the bathroom, we'll see if that is necessary as Frances is talking about selling the house and moving somewhere else that's set up better.

Senior housing might not be a bad option, but I'm not mentioning it, Pa Dude would slap me!

Annie


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That's got to be a really tough situation for Pa Dude and the family. I pray it works out for all.

We moved into a new-to-us house that made it possible to give my mom ample personal space. She asked me several times "Raymond suggested that I move in with you?". Yup, he's that kind of guy; it was important to her to know that she was wanted.


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

Glad that all he has to do is get better.
One of those walk in showers/baths would be a really good thing. Expensive, but compared to 2 months in a care facility...not much at all.

Here is a link that might be useful: Not an endorsement..just info!


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

Does Pa Dude use a walker or a cane? My father was using both, and with a walker, furniture would sometimes get in the way, but SIL got rid of some furniture and rearranged other furniture to make larger traffic paths. My parents also replaced their bathtub with a shower that looks like one of the walk-in bathtubs, but they had to sit on a chair. Neither one could bathe themselves, and so that was up to the visiting angels.

Remodeling might be easier than finding a house already set up for what they want, but I'm not familiar with what is available in their area. Remodeling could also decrease the value of the house, since most buyers would probably not want a handicapped friendly bathroom, but then there would be a certain percentage that would.

I wish them good luck in the real estate department, and if they have a good agent, that will help.

Lars


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

At this point Pa Dude uses a walker, we're hoping he can graduate to a cane. The real problem is that his knees are shot and the only fix is replacement which they won't do at his age.

So, a wheelchair is probably in the future, which means doorsways and entries will be a problem. Frances is 84 with a bad heart, she's diabetic and has some breathing issues too, so she can't physically take care of him. She's a tiny little lady and he's over 6 feet tall, although thin.

If they'd get rid of some furniture, like the unused dining room set and the piano, there would be room to get around, but I still don't know about the entryway, where there are two sets of cement steps just to get inside the house.

We're going to have to look at the house carefully when we go down this weekend.

Annie


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My friend's father who is 94 had a knee replaced last winter. He uses a walker, but he's without knee pain...however he has other balance problems....and still drives!!!! Ack!!
Sounds like you will be building ramps soon.


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Annie, I'm so glad your FIL's doing better enough to be talking about bringing him home. That alone is a large Blessing at his age.

We've learned a lot about handicapped issues in the past 3 years because of me. Our bathroom was the real challenge. We didn't want to put in what looked like a hospital bath for the reasons Lars noted. So, I spent a couple hundred hours searching online for alternatives. We'd been advised from multiple sources not to go the fiberglass handicapped tub/shower over an existing bath route so that was ruled out early in the process.

I was able to find handicapped rails, grabbars, etc. in normal finishes, in our case, polished nickel. For the shower, here's what we ended up with...

Free Image Hosting at www.picturetrail.com

It's called an "easy access" rather than full handicapped. We also had double doors made that opened outwards with safety grabbars inside/out. The glass itself is also thicker than normal for more stability. We also installed a thermostatically controlled shower so I can't scald myself (I have advanced neuropathy so can't feel hot/cold).

Everything in the room has been considered for ease of use. The vanity is higher than normal to limit bending. There are no hidden cabinets or closets that are hard to get into or to reach upper shelves, etc. Towels are in baskets under the vanity. Bathing products, extra TP, etc. reside on open easy accessible shelves. The toilet is also higher. Even one medicine cabinet is placed for ease of access to somebody with limited mobility. The stool swivels and I can reach almost everything without having to move. There are glides under the legs so I can move the stool with one finger. There are six hooks (some both inside and outside the shower) to hang clothes and/or towels easily.

Free Image Hosting at www.picturetrail.com

Free Image Hosting at www.picturetrail.com

These pixs were taken before everything was fully put together but it gives a good idea of the finished room. It was a long haul but it's finally finished and is working perfectly. I can tend to all personal hygiene safely and without help. There's room to turn a walker around, if necessary, without the stool.

Anyway, there are lots of options if you look around.

/tricia


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About knees. Mine have given up slowly over the last few years. I purchased two steel hinged knee braces. Pretty they are not. But they have given me back the ability to get around with minimal pain. I won't be taking any long hikes but I can certainly navigate a grocery store and things around the house. They also make me a bit more steady. Someday I will need surgery, I imagine.

Something to consider. I chose these because I needed two and the price was right though I paid more at the local Target store. There are a lot of options. The "sport type" seems to be more comfortable as back of the knee is free from bulk.

Eileen

Here is a link that might be useful: Hinged knee brace.


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RE: Prayers for my FIL, please

Glad to hear he's doing better! I will hope for no more confusion and lots of healing. BF's grandfather wasn't looking good, needed surgery, was disoriented in rehab, and then got much better and was able to go home.


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