Mustangs,
He retired, or WE retired? If he has more time at home, he can pick up some of the slack. Dusting, taking out garbage, doing laundry, all the things that "just get done" can be done by him. Give him lessons, be patient, and pretty soon he will be looking for another out-of-house job!

I feel for ya girl. Sorry.

All I can see is, "been there, done that" and it isn't funny. Especially if he's a person with no hobbies. At least you travel well together. Maybe you should just stay on the road. Good luck!!

My MIL used to say "til death do us part, but not for lunch!" I bet Raymond would be a great volunteer! Or, tell him to get a hobby.....soon! Don't let him sit in front of the TV or the computer all day.

"Back away from the computer, Raymond!"

That's funny about the heart-shaped celery. I wonder what he would have done if you asked for hearts of palm?

Have patience with him. I recently stopped working full time and it is a big adjustment. Maybe a good adjustment, but after a lifetime of being scheduled to the hilt, trying to think about "what to do next" is very strange.

I always feel bad for women I see out shopping and the bored husband is trailing along. I hope he has interests of his own! Good luck and enjoy rediscovering your old boyfriend.

You post made me smile. (I'm still grinning.) You have my permission to tease him about celery hearts for as long as you can!

Oh Cathy, I knew it was coming. I also know you'd never allow Raymond to take over the laundry duties.

So, I don't have any good advice for you, except come north and visit more often!

Annie

I'm smiling, too - we are married to the same kind of man! I've always called my hub "useless" and told him that my next husband is going to enjoy asking me what I'd like him to do. I've often said I wished for a husband who was practical and liked to putter around the house, but the truth is I love my poet dearly. He is sitting here right now wishing he had something to eat, but whatever I suggest isn't quite right. He is busy translating a Spanish poem, so obviously he isn't quite hungry enough.

It depends on the guy, marlingardner, if he'll pick up the slack. My hub thinks he does (and I have never had to pick up after him, he's neat about himself) but IMO it isn't worth fighting about. If he vacuums and doesn't move the furniture, so what. If he cooks and it isn't all that good, I praise him anyway and he's pleased as punch. Just remember to smile and enjoy each other.

You'll work it out, mutangs. Yes, it's going to be a challenge, but if you like each other, it will be fine. Try to keep a good sense of humor about it. For some reason, we don't need as much money as we did when he was working, so even that has worked itself out for us.

sherrmann, you are a wise woman.

Your advice is right on, and both husbands and wives would do well to take heed.

Rusty

All good ideas, but did you notice that, like driving directions, he didn't ask for help at the store? I read it to my husband, and the same thought occurred to both of us!

Bev, No hobbies other than coaching. We have been planning some road trips with the ball teams instead of flying so that will help. I should warn you all that we will be out and about criss crossing the country.

Teresa, "Back away from the computer, Raymond!" That was one of the funniest things ever and IÂm glad you remember.

Dedtired, I chased him in high school and college until he caught me so I will have to rediscover that BMC cool guy.

Claire_de_luna, IÂm counting on you to fill some time when you come down this fall.

Annie, you wonÂt believe this but he has been doing his own laundry since DD was 6. I figured if a 6 year old could do laundry so could a grown man. When I got the new FLs I made a job aid that is above the W & D. ItÂs been 5 years and he still refers to it.

Sherrmann, He vacuumed today and basically made a goat trail through the middle and perimeter of the room.

Rusty, I am definitely work on my end of the relationship as I am demanding and I know I need to cut him some slack.

Leel, Ask for help at the store? Our nephew was working in the produce section, he didnÂt want to ask and appear dumb.

Thanks all!

Well, it could be ''teaching moment'', whether it's to learn to ask for directions, or make a phone call, or know from the last time what to do the next time. The good news is an old dog can learn new tricks, even if it's at the grocery store. I'm holding your hand (and Raymond's), virtually! I think I'm learning something new almost every day; it seems like retaining it is the trick for me. Most of us don't want to waste our time when we've made the effort, so there's always hope you know, unless he's one of those who does things badly so you just won't ask! Thanks for making me smile.

Teach him how to make labels. You could keep him busy for the rest of your lives making labels for your house.

Hey, I hope your travels bring you to Philadelphia.

I had to respondÂ

IÂm married to a fireman. This means he is gone 2-4 nights most weeks. This was perfect for me. I could plan great meals for the nights he was home. I could make sure the house was clean and I was looking good. On the other nights? I didnÂt cook, I didnÂt clean, and I wore comfy baggy clothing while watching Desperate Housewives. :-)

Then, my very deserving DH was promoted. He now works a standard M-F work week, so he is home EVERY NIGHT. Needless to say, it has been quite an adjustmentÂ

Pam, That's an idea although the labels do throw him. In the refrigerator he gets confused between the "condiment" shelf and the "savory" door shelf.

Jeri, Congratulations to DH, but I'll bet it was a big adjustment.

Don't get me wrong, he is a wonderful person and very well thought of in his field he's just not domesticated.

Keep a close eye on those kitchen knives Cathy! Maybe you should hide them. The trees would feel safer that's for sure. : )

David

Cathy, I sympathize. My DH spent years home only on weekends, and now works from home all the time. To think I complained!

I second Pam's hope that your travels will bring you to our corner of Pennsylvania. I would love to meet you in "real life" after thinking of you as a friend for so many years.

Pam, congratulations! I didn't know you stopped working full time. Although it's an adjustment, I remember how you've been looking forward to retirement, so I know you'll enjoy more free time.

David, Good tip! Funny, yesterday I was talking to the new neighbor over the fence and he said "it appears that you have a knife stuck in your tree. Oh, the tree has grown around it." I told him the knife story and that I was leaving it there to teach lessons. DGS is fascinated with it. I told him that when he is big enough and strong enough to take it out of the tree he will be the King! (shades of Excalibur)

Love PA! My first hot air balloon ride was in Hershey.

Oh Cathy! I'm smiling at your message, but you are both up to the challenge.

Lee

I don't have a single constructive comment to add! Cathy, you're gonna hafta figure out ways to cope!! Keep sending him to the grocery store. Maybe he'll learn. My DH is a pretty good grocery shopper but still comes home with crazy stuff based on what I asked for. I've learned to save the empties in order to show him what I need.

I do hope your travels bring you to Houston or close by. I'd LOVE to give you a big hug - it's been too long since we've seen each other!!

Cathy, I am sitting here laughing with you and not at you...honest....

Now have Raymond repeat: I married you for better or worse, in sickness and in health, but NOT FOR BREAKFAST, LUNCH OR DINNER!

Maybe it is time to get a dog so he has something to walk a few times a day

And tell him that the store never runs out of milk...Dad tried that one on Mom and lost.

Cathy I feel for you!

I had been retired for 10 years when Clive retired last May. I got very used to running my own show on my schedule (read doing whatever I wanted , whenever I wanted) especially after Meredith went away to university.

The first thing we did was go on our Rte 66 road trip, literally the day after he retired. That transition really helped him make the break.

Clive is extremely handy, can do just about anything and not the type to sit still so I don't have to worry about keeping him busy it's just that he always wants me involved somehow and he just loves me come along when he goes to Home Depot or the like!

I'm, not complaining, I'm truly blessed but, I sure do like it when he heads to the cottage on his own for a few days!

Good Luck, I just know you'll have some fun times coming your way!

Cathy, did I miss the knife story? How about retelling it for my benefit and anyone else who may have missed it.

I think you should start a blog, you are such a good story teller. What is it with you Floridians (Bobby), must be something in the water!

Clive is extremely handy, can do just about anything and not the type to sit still so I don't have to worry about keeping him busy it's just that he always wants me involved somehow and he just loves me come along when he goes to Home Depot or the like!

OMG Sharon thats MY husband! I drew the line at driving 100 miles with him, one way, to pick up some picture framing equipment he is collecting for his new hobby, LOL.

I understand your challenge! DH isn't retired and isn't entertaining the thought...yet! I did tell him to find a hobby and as my work hours have increased exponentially, he's beginning to find ways to fill his time. Then again, he may starve or die of boredom, because he's a disaster in the kitchen!

Please repeat the knife story? I forget the details!

Sending you hugs, patience and endurance!
E

I have labels on my refrigerator door shelves too!
I could never do savory and condiments, that would be too confusing to dh (who doesn't care anyway)

I have mustard, sauces, salad dressing, jelly, and misc.

I am always putting everything back in the right place.

It's not working!! He went with me to pick up the DGC then to the pet store for supplies. After looking at the pets, I went to check out and asked him to wait at he door with the kids while I checked. 2 minutes later I couldn't find them. I freaked out after 15 minutes of running through the store, calling on his cell phone, having the staff call for them on the PA system. The PetSmart manager came running to me trying to calm me down. Customers volunteered to run through the store and some spread out to check the other stores in the strip mall. I left the store and waited outside because I was making a fool of myself.

He finally came from the back of the store saying "are you looking for us?". He was in the bathroom with the kids and Beau got locked in the stall then no TP (which just won't work for Beau) so he had Lily crawl under the door to help Beau.

Sharon, Could Clive take Raymond on as an apprentice? He goes to HD and his eyes glaze over. When you went on your Rt 66 trip, I read your updates to DH daily. He was all for it.

Jessica, Because Raymond doesn't know that we have yard tools, he took my $150 - 9" Wusthof Cook's knife to the back yard to cut stink vines from the fence. I couldn't find the knife for weeks and found it stuck in the oak tree. He left it there when he finished with the vines. The tree grew around it. Since it was already ruined, I swore to leave it there as a symbol of life with Raymond

Suggestion for either of youhref>

I am afraid that size medium will not work. Raymond is a stocky muscular guy. Got one in blue, size XX?

All I hear in my head is "YAY for Raymond. Not so much for Cathy!" LOL! Really, I'm excited that Raymond is finished with that particular job. But knowing Raymond I'm thinking he will find another team to coach during the day!

I love the knife story! DH loves to take my kitchen shears out to the garden shed and forgets to bring them back into the house. He is now the proud owner of 15 different kitchen shears. I am the proud owner of kitchen shears that have a note attached that says "If you touch you may not have fingers left! SNAP SNAP!"

DH will never retire...he knows it would drive us both insane. He comes home, for his 2 hour lunch, everday...