Jo

But even in the case of an empty plate like your kids, I think it's rude to begin clearing the table before all diners are done. It sort of implies that they are rushing you out. In a low price restaurant, I've come to expect it. I guess in fact, they ARE rushing you out the door. I still don't like it though.

Can you imagine if you had guests over for dinner, clearing their plate the minute they were finished, even though other guests/hosts were still eating? No, one would never do that. So why DO they do it in restaurants? The ONLY reason I can think of is to rush us out the door. And when you're paying $$$ in a nice place, they REALLY shouldn't be doing that.

As for the big presentation of his card and email info, I think he should have just included his card with the bill. Making a big deal about the email addr cheapens the "upscale" feeling IMO.

On the other hand, there's a chance that I'm going to want my plate when DW starts to get full and I "help her finish."

I like sushipup's solution.

Oh and I hate "obsequious" as much as I hate overly familiar. Do your job effectively and politely and get out of my face. No more, no less.

Oy Sherry!! Did you leave a tip?

/tricia

That is my real pet peeve.

I like to think of myself as having decent table manners (though I'll be damned if I put down my knife and switch my fork to the right hand for every single bite as my father tried to instill in me!) but I have no idea how to indicate, with knife and fork, whether it's ok to take my plate. I suspect I'm not alone, so I wouldn't recommend training waitstaff to look for this cue. I still say, simply ask.

And I'll add this. If there are what I might call "community items" on the table, bread for example, or chips & salsa at a mexican place, those items should not be removed until everyone's plate has been removed. Again, I've had that happen to me. Other people are finished eating, their plates are cleared, and there goes the bread, chips, whatever. Well, *I'm* not done eating and I might still want those things.

So no matter what my dining personality is, some things are just not good service.

The server should ask -- without grabbing the plate already or gesturing -- and respect the answer.

Personally, when I'm the diner, I don't mind. I like the plate to go away. When I was serving, the guests' wishes were the rules.

Sally

Classy.

I don't like clearing before everyone else is done, either, but if they must do it, perhaps "May I get this out of your way?" is a good line -- contributes to the illusion that the meal is about the customers' experience, not the staff's convenience.

I do indeed sympathize with the waiters, but a restaurant meal is a treat for the diners, and they are paying. I try to be considerate of the staff, but I'm not there for them; they are there for me. So if the diners are eating too slowly for their profit margin and convenience, good staff conceals their frustration rather than making the diners feel rushed.

They may be shortsighted about the profits, too. I am much more likely to be left with a happy feeling and return to a restaurant where I was made to feel like they were happy to have me there and wanted me to be relaxed and unhurried than one where I felt I was a nuisance to be rushed, managed, or pushed.

By the way, my preference for losing the plate is at restaurants only. At someone's house, getting rid of an empty plate usually would mean that someone is getting up from the table and interrupting the meal.

It's customary for the server to wait until everyone at the table has finished before starting to clear away the dishes for that course, unless the table is very cluttered with empty bread baskets, wine bottles etc. in which case he will discreetly remove the empties but not the plates while others are still eating.

The knife/fork signal is universal here and a server wouldn't dream of removing a plate where knife and fork were not in that position. However if diners have obviously finished and haven't put their knife/fork in the finished position, and seem to be waiting for someone to come and clear away, the waiter may come over to the table and say with a smile something like..."is everything all right"....or "did you enjoy your meal"..."may I take these away?" But never when one person at the table is still eating.

However if one wishes to have an empty plate taken away, all that is needed is a hand signal to the waiter for him to come and remove it.

The government sponsors training for those who wish to work in the hotel and restaurant industry, since it is one of the main industries of Spain. So wait staff, even when not having passed through these courses, have normally been trained by the restaurant owner to a level equal to the current standards.

SharonCb

What is common now for those under 40 now? Fast food, out-of-hand food, and lots of eating in casual restaurants where the order of service is determined by things besides traditional etiquette. (One very well known chain I worked for didn’t even HAVE dishwashers – the service staff took turns washing dishes! -- and so pre-bussing the table was a priority.) More families than we care to admit never sit down to eat together at home at all anymore, so a restaurant meal is the only time they see place settings, or are called on to "show some manners".
Right or wrong, I can see where five years from now, removing the plate in restaurants will seem completely correct.

Interesting.

/tricia